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mobby_6kl
Aug 9, 2009

"You are the best poster... do not let anyone say otherwise."


Jeza posted:

The root of the issue has little to do with being gifted money. The issue is feeling like a failure, from which all other issues are compounded. It's pretty telling that you relate a story about lacking trust in your parents that circumnavigates straight into vague childhood preoccupations with feeling pressured to perform and feeling like you are being questioned/evaluated by your parents on 'sensitive' topics - the usual suspects being life direction, love life, other general personal issues etc.

The funny thing about these sensitive topics is that to somebody who is feeling grounded and confident, they really are nothing but chit-chat, but to somebody with rock-bottom self-worth, they feel like a dreaded inquisition or even almost personal attacks.

You feel like you're a failure in their eyes, whether it's true or not, and you feel like a failure yourself. That makes you depressed and poisons how you think others think and will react to you, and all the other ramifications you touch upon about how you're feeling. It's why you'd hide losing your job and putting yourself in a precarious financial situation. It's a pretty typical toxic combination of fear and pride, and it happens a lot in lot in prototypically supportive and wealthy families, often due to self-recognition of failing despite having advantages, parental expectations (and established successful parents to compare to), and a lack of drive due to a lack of necessity.
...
Oh gently caress that feels very familiar. In any case yeah I'd second not confessing now, you already said you lost the job so at this point this should be enough to move forward.

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