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Strumpie posted:Penis Island, where they won't shut up about stroking their pussies and cocker spaniels. i swear if i have to hear about one more Shitzu she took on her husband's chest, I'm going to 
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Aug 14, 2020 17:41
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Applewhite posted:Shitzu she took on her husband's chest, I'm going to get in my toyota yaris, head to costco and load up on
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Aug 14, 2020 17:50
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Mozi posted:get in my toyota yaris, head to costco and load up on beans, sauerkraut and receipt paper. After that I'll drive to
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Aug 14, 2020 19:04
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ultrafilter posted:beans, sauerkraut and receipt paper. After that I'll drive to ...the local B-Dubs for my favorite meal
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Aug 14, 2020 19:11
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DarkSoulsTantrum posted:...the local B-Dubs for my favorite meal ....an entire pigeon, stuffed with grapes and deep fried. It reminds me of a simpler time, when ______
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Aug 14, 2020 19:21
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The Strangest Finch posted:....an entire pigeon, stuffed with grapes and deep fried. It reminds me of a simpler time, when ______ men were men, women were men, and sheep were always terrified. My favorite pastime in those days was to
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Aug 14, 2020 19:25
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ultrafilter posted:men were men, women were men, and sheep were always terrified. My favorite pastime in those days was to gently caress sheep. Now that I think about it
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Aug 14, 2020 19:29
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Applewhite posted:gently caress sheep. Now that I think about it my wife is a bit on the wooly side. but she is definitely not a
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Aug 14, 2020 19:31
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Mozi posted:my wife is a bit on the wooly side. but she is definitely not a ... spinster. Or is she? She still parades around that opal ring from the time ...
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Aug 14, 2020 19:35
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Lawson posted:... spinster. Or is she? She still parades around that opal ring from the time ... ...and it's so loving sexy I just want to...
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Aug 14, 2020 19:37
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S so much D that I have to go to the hospital with a serious case of cummy tummy which the doctor tells me the only cure for is ______________
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Aug 14, 2020 19:47
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Nooner posted:S so much D that I have to go to the hospital with a serious case of cummy tummy which the doctor tells me the only cure for is ______________ more cum, which seems odd to me, so I suck off the Doc and __________
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Aug 14, 2020 19:57
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Jebediah posted:more cum, which seems odd to me, so I suck off the Doc and __________ suddenly the nurse rushes in and says 'you're pregnant with cumbabies! quick, to the delivery room!' i already felt my water break so
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Aug 14, 2020 19:58
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Mozi posted:suddenly the nurse rushes in and says 'you're pregnant with cumbabies! quick, to the delivery room!' i already felt my water break so i popped a squat right there and shot out 47 cumbabies, all genderless and preferring i refer to them using the pronouns _______________
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Aug 14, 2020 20:04
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Jebediah posted:i popped a squat right there and shot out 47 cumbabies, all genderless and preferring i refer to them using the pronouns _______________ ...just as they’re about to tell me, the doctor runs in and yells, “STOP! Those aren’t cumbabies, they’re
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Aug 14, 2020 20:19
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DarkSoulsTantrum posted:...just as they’re about to tell me, the doctor runs in and yells, “STOP! Those aren’t cumbabies, they’re an elderly woman with narcolepsy who wandered in and fell asleep during our lovemaking who has now woken up and is covered in spunk, get the mop and bucket so we can
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Aug 14, 2020 20:52
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Strumpie posted:an elderly woman with narcolepsy who wandered in and fell asleep during our lovemaking who has now woken up and is covered in spunk, get the mop and bucket so we can absorb Grandma Cumbaby and wring her out into the well where we hid all of the ____________
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Aug 14, 2020 21:19
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Jebediah posted:absorb Grandma Cumbaby and wring her out into the well where we hid all of the ____________ ...Nazi Paraphernalia Great-Uncle Roy brought back from the war. His son Jeb can't know what we're doing though, he might _______
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Aug 14, 2020 21:27
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The Strangest Finch posted:...Nazi Paraphernalia Great-Uncle Roy brought back from the war. His son Jeb can't know what we're doing though, he might _______ put him in a grimey drawer with a bird; the strangest finch you've ever seen! Suddenly ________
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Aug 14, 2020 21:54
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...the finch's eyes lit up the shelf in a cyan glow, a tiny speaker inside its head emitting a preprogrammed message of warning: "In the last 500 years, the Fourth Stimpire has dominated four systems, which it has united into one starzone, Stimsis. The Fourth Stimpire has origins from the Ten Empire War in which 10 of the United Stimpires revolted against each rules. All empires except for the fourth swore freedom upon their citizens. There is no free speech in the Fourth Stimpire, and all self-controlled transportation has been made illegal without undergoing painful medical verification methods, in which arteries are severed without pain resistant, operated entirely by machines. The way they work claim to be the most hygenic and healthy way possible, but these machines often rub against pain points, causing great deals of pain to patients. The heart is then extracted from the body and placed into a glass grinding machine. Various energy centers are also dissected and replaced with dangerous transplants. After the painful, 52 hour surgical procedure, patients will then have to use a fused guidance tool, which pumps painful resistors into the body every 2 hours. The pain they have caused is so bad, the victim would freeze in a tense position. They would then collapse afterwards. Sexual stimulation in any way within the grounds of the Fourth Stimpire is strictly prohibited, and anyone detected even touching their sexual organs will be subjected to a penectomy or if the offender was a female, they would then have a razor inserted into their ovaries. They would pump a blue solution into the womb until the stitchings burst. Offenders would also be forced to show their operated areas in public, and they would always harass and punch them to a pulp, against their will. Otherwise, offenders would be tazed with the worst type of electricity in the systematic district, causing so much pain, the victim would scream and flail in madness. The pain would also triple every second, but no death would be incurred. This is also used in combat against enemy units, which is why all UEE forces must wear the upgraded suit to block this effect. However, enertainment is also questionable in UEE grounds. Sporting events end with the losing team being rounded into a grinder and shredded on live television, boxing matches end with the loser having their hands removed without anasthesia, flight races would end with the losers having their arms and legs removed, then being injected with insanity, for entertainment. People are also forced into these events, by undergoing a painful 127 hour procedure which involves tweaking the muscles so they will not listen to brain commands, and then having a painful drug injected which also causes madness if the player is not sporting. This is all for entertainment, and anyone not watching any of it during sporting times and cheering for the winning team, they will be imprisoned into galactic camps. Snuff films are also broadcast, and actors are actually murdered just for entertainment. Stealth droids also guide these forced actors into behaving exactly as the director dreams, otherwise they will be punished by being placed into a macerator and having their execution written into the film. Any film that does not feature someone being murdered will be burned and the entire crew behind it will be executed in the most grotesque way possible - vivisection. All executions are broadcast, and anyone who misses even a millisecond, even by blinking, will be executed. All citizens must boo to the person being executed, and the family is gathered to be injected with eternators, which cause pain forever, making them immoral but feeling the pain tenfold every millisecond. They cannot pass out, but they will feel like it forever. Conquests by this Stimpire end in the planet being razed, and all the citizens being executed in the same way as their citizens are. The planet is then destroyed and all remnants of it are removed, and any memories of it will be erased instantly from civil minds. People who are also killed are also erased from memories, and all memories of them, including toys and pictures, are destroyed. Prisoners undergo 40,000 years of relentless and endless labor, and anyone not complying is sentenced to the eternator injection. All prisoners injected with eternators are placed into capsules and launched into far space, then the room is closed tight to ensure maximum insanity. Some prisoners are also subjected to the removal of blood, the lungs, the liver, the genitals, the skeleton, the muscles, the eyes, and even the injection of pressure. Prisoners sentenced to pressure chambers are locked in until they are inflated to a high level. The decompression is then stopped to make sure they are inflated and uncomfortable. Children born on the 14th of July are subjected to the removal of their skeleton and an implant of a silver liquid to replace it. The nervous sysem is also injected in various parts to ensure it is five times more sensitive than the average. Restaurants also are ordered to serve civil meat, and anyone attending must give themself up to be cooked into a grotesque meal. They are cooked alive, undergoing extreme pain, and are then subjected to industrial grinders and blenders. The Stimpire orders at least 1 million citizens to be dispatched every day, as they are afraid the population may overthrow them. But only one planet is cared for, and the rest are banned from eating, drinking, talking, using technology, touching anyone, wearing unauthorized clothes, touching buildings, or walking a centimeter out of designated routes. Civil enforcers are on every planet, and they are engineered so that they are 40 times larger than the 300 quadrillion population. At least 7 billion die every 12 hours under this rule. Thoughts are also surveyed, and anyone who does not think anything to loving the Stimpire with more than their capabilities will be sentenced to a prison. Prisoners who are punished for this violation will meet their greatest fear, only to have it amplified so they will turn insane as they imagine it exactly as they fear it. They then undergo a painful extraction of all fluids, to be replaced by a toxin which causes permanent irritation. The unknown substance keeps the subject aging normally, except they will never die. Prisoners punished in this way are unable to be reverted, despite many efforts, and they will never be able to be disposed. The sickening truths have been revealed only today, and...
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Aug 14, 2020 23:12
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goon Michael Corleone can clean all this mess up since he got the new job and___________
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Aug 14, 2020 23:17
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so he started making a sandwich - mustard, onions and liverwurst on rye. Licking his chops he
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Aug 15, 2020 00:04
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Mozi posted:so he started making a sandwich - mustard, onions and liverwurst on rye. Licking his chops he realised that his mutton chops really were getting a bit too long so he decided the sandwich could wait, now was the time to go to the barbers and get a
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Aug 15, 2020 00:07
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Strumpie posted:realised that his mutton chops really were getting a bit too long so he decided the sandwich could wait, now was the time to go to the barbers and get a mutton chop sandwich with his own hair inside of it. But
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Aug 15, 2020 00:08
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Mozi posted:mutton chop sandwich with his own hair inside of it. But realising he had made the same mistake twice he put the thoughts of a sandwich out of his mind for good and stepped out the door to
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Aug 15, 2020 00:25
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the heartstopping sound of artillery fire! It had finally happened,
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Aug 15, 2020 00:38
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RandomFerret posted:the heartstopping sound of artillery fire! It had finally happened, the Sandwich Wars had begun! There was no time to lose - he had to arm himself! Leaping
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Aug 15, 2020 00:47
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Mozi posted:the Sandwich Wars had begun! There was no time to lose - he had to arm himself! Leaping ...into the air with the power of mutton chop sandwiches, he surveyed the city below and...
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Aug 15, 2020 00:50
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William Henry Hairytaint posted:...into the air with the power of mutton chop sandwiches, he surveyed the city below and... realising he was not some sort of sandwich super hero, began falling toward the ground. Desperately looking below him he could see
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Aug 15, 2020 01:00
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Strumpie posted:realising he was not some sort of sandwich super hero, began falling toward the ground. Desperately looking below him he could see that there was a team of clown firemen frantically trying to position themselves beneath him. Unfortunately they
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Aug 15, 2020 01:16
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Applewhite posted:that there was a team of clown firemen frantically trying to position themselves beneath him. Unfortunately they were holding the trampoline with their erect penises instead of their hands. The Masked Mutton knew what was going on! He _________
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Aug 15, 2020 13:48
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drew upon the ancient knowledge of the Goatman and, stretching to the utmost,
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Aug 15, 2020 13:52
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Mozi posted:drew upon the ancient knowledge of the Goatman and, stretching to the utmost, he began to engulf the strongest clown to absorb it's clowny power. Already he could feel
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Aug 15, 2020 16:10
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Who What Now posted:he began to engulf the strongest clown to absorb it's clowny power. Already he could feel a strong desire to go to a circus. He feared, though, that once he was there _____________
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Aug 15, 2020 18:49
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Star Me Kitten posted:a strong desire to go to a circus. He feared, though, that once he was there _____________ he'd spend all his pocket money on fairy floss, because, he muttered to himself, "I'm gay" as he absentnindedly fondled _____________
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Aug 15, 2020 19:21
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BigBadSteve posted:he'd spend all his pocket money on fairy floss, because, he muttered to himself, "I'm gay" as he absentnindedly fondled _____________ the clown's shoes that poked out of his butthole. "Oh well - I guess it's true what they say, a clown a day
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Aug 15, 2020 20:43
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Mozi posted:the clown's shoes that poked out of his butthole. "Oh well - I guess it's true what they say, a clown a day Oo-ar oo-ar ay!" He wondered why his father had always said that just before
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Aug 15, 2020 21:53
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Sunswipe posted:Oo-ar oo-ar ay!" He wondered why his father had always said that just before the clown burst through his chest, Alien style! "you thought i'd honked my last but now i'll
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Aug 15, 2020 21:59
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Strumpie posted:the clown burst through his chest, Alien style! "you thought i'd honked my last but now i'll honk your rear end! Honk H
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Aug 15, 2020 22:14
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Applewhite posted:honk your rear end! Honk H ONK!" his right arm slammed into Mario's face sending him flying backwards, his blue cape now fluttering in the air as the man was lashing out towards Mario's friend again, slamming him once more. Luigi, unaware of the man's ability to attack multiple enemies simultaneously, was confused
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Aug 15, 2020 22:32
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