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Star Me Kitten posted:Im concocting an experiment. Anyone who posts here must choose only ONE poster to talk to and continue a one on one conversation with. Start by introducing yourself or posting whatever you want. But once you address another poster here and they respond to you, you can only continue a conversation with that one poster only. This should be interesting....? so you regged and bought an avatar now? seems like bad choices are your thing. e: oh i just noticed the plat too.
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Aug 15, 2020 22:52
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| # ¿ Apr 19, 2024 08:51 |
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Sid Vicious posted:You can donate to RAINN and contact Jeffrey through another goon for anything you need right now i'm not your buddy, follow the thread rules Sid e: poo poo
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Aug 15, 2020 22:54
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Star Me Kitten posted:Ouch. Ok, so I guess I am your buddy then? i've been here longer than 2012 but this is the regdate for this account. the name is the name of a dog and Athanatos gave me this avatar as punishment for telling him he's the custodian to a corrupt regime. why didn't you answer me when i asked you these questions in your other thread.
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Aug 15, 2020 23:42
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this is the music i'm listening to at the moment. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rTonGqnbiZw if you listen to lots of music please share but i will judge you harshly if it's bad.
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Aug 15, 2020 23:55
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Star Me Kitten posted:I don’t recall you asking me these questions in another thread, but now you have the answers so I guess we are square. i consider the topic of a thread irrelevant to the content of my posts. i don't have fun.
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Aug 16, 2020 00:00
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Star Me Kitten posted:Is the no fun thing a choice? I don’t have much fun these days myself. Music? Most recently Elliot Smith.. Big Thief. I liked that Julia Jacklin song. Pretty. i started dying when i was 16 if you want to get technical but I pretty much dropped dead on August 31st, 2013 and since then i'm not present in reality so my existence is very much joy, departed. this is favourite Elliot Smith song. when it comes to music i'm very receptive to lyrics and anything where it's clear the musician is personally invested. i'm an empathy vampire because it's the only way i can feel. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4iYinvmNBO8 e: purple ee: never heard of Big Thief, listening to 'Not' rn Strumpie fucked around with this message at 00:27 on Aug 16, 2020 |
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Aug 16, 2020 00:23
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Star Me Kitten posted:I only like a few Big Thief songs. I just found Big Thief through a friend. I like folk & folk/indie because the lyrics are a little more complex like poetry (and I am into creative writing) and the musicians seem emotionally connected to the songs. Like Brighteyes? Bob Dylan? i tend to avoid things that push too far into folk. hypocritical because listen to a lot of rock adjacent things with folk-rock being a big one (and more than a few folk artists). i get the desire for poetry, some artists are just poets in disguise and i read a lot of poetry although i'm very critical of many poets and i loathe poetry myself despite being a prolific writer of it. if you mean the band, Brighteyes, then this is my favourite song of theirs too. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zn_YkDZ1bZM i don't prescribe any sort of significance to colours. no horoscopes, no tarots. i like purple because it was the favourite colour of someone i love and now it reflects me too, but i did not choose it. i often dream purple but i don't think it means anything. although, i have heard "Deep emotion, but heady--lofty ideas" ascribed to me before. my emotional death is a topic far too large and cumbersome for this thread whilst simultaneously being quite trite and pithy. i don't need a friend, or a therapist, i've long known who i am and what it means to me now; no need for a saviour. an empathy vampire is two words i put together to describe a generalised behaviour that you could understand. as in, i feed on the empathy of others akin to a vampire. i know i have shared enough to make it seem like i'm fishing for input but in truth i simply don't fear my past so I readily express it if relevant. i don't really have any questions for you because i don't want a friend. i want to stay alone. again posts in the thread would seem hypocritical, if posts in this thread were to mean anything. chaos and pretension reign, etc, etc.
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Aug 16, 2020 01:00
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Star Me Kitten posted:I write some poetry myself. Brighteyes is a long time favorite of mine. Fevers and Mirrors was mind blowingly good. That's when I found him. I just described what I feel from that color; I don't prescribe any meaning to it myself. yeah i'm real fascinating, can't wait to hear what i have to say.
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Aug 16, 2020 01:33
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Star Me Kitten posted:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_jWcIDqXq0 listening to music, writing and dreaming are the only things available to me. these songs are my emotions. besides, i haven't always done it alone. i've had beautiful people like you to expand my world. i didn't used to devout myself to these things, it is born out of necessity to fill a mind. idle moments are unbearable for me now and invite madness. so i listen to music at all times unless i can preoccupy myself equally. even as i sleep. it used to stop my nightmares but that luxury has long been lost to me. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AGICFCqGyaE i understand more now with that Lana Del Rey song about your appreciating longer form poetry. i'm often satisfied with aphorism, a hollow bon mot and a rhyming couplet. my relationship with poetry is complicated.
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Aug 16, 2020 04:04
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Star Me Kitten posted:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G8coOFGTguo i have found epic poetry unfulfilling. i've read Dante's 'Divine Comedy' and Keat's 'Hyperion' so the thought of reading 'The Cantos' is unappealing. especially as many remain unfinished or uneven. I'm more receptive to poem in prose like Rimbaud's 'A Season in Hell' but even that degrades rapidly in quality. i think not being able to read (not well enough, at least) the original Tuscan or French detracts from those a lot, but still. if you have something in particular you want to share that isn't 116 sections long, i would read it. i'm not concerned with the political views or even individual actions of the artists i appreciate since i've yet to meet someone who wasn't both beautiful and flawed. not to mention once i consume their art it becomes mine so i experience no moral dilemma in that sense. it helps i do not venerate or idolise anything or anyone. nothing is sacred to me. i'll leave you with the introduction to 'Une Saison en Enfer' i translated and interpreted myself. it's not 'technically' correct, but it's mine. quote:Once, if I recall correctly, my life was a feast where all hearts opened, and all wines flowed. (i'm very much enjoying Modest Mouse, thank you)
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Aug 16, 2020 05:26
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Star Me Kitten posted:I am glad you liked the song. Here is a song from an Isaac Brock side project: i am awoke. i'm in a european time zone, but i cannot bear the daylight so i sleep from daybreak to dusk. summer tortures me so, leaving little time. i fear we're rapidly approaching the limits of decency in a public forum, although i have a lot to say. i, too, have taken great interest in the lives of those whose work i read. i sought context and from it hoped to derive knowledge, in fact this was the motivator. i spent some years sequestered so i could avoid distraction by individuals or the internet just to try and answer questions i had about myself and studying the works of others, or their lives, was a significant part of that. works of fiction were prevalent during this period as well. a lot of science fiction and many of Philip K. Dick's (more highly troubled artists) novels with a particular interest in his experiences with drugs and personal identity (themes that are common for me to engage with). primarily i learnt that knowledge is a burden and the greater your familiarity with the written word the crueler your condemnation. i'm being somewhat whimsical; condensing years of my life to a sentence is difficult. i've been speaking in the past tense because although i still read and write, it is not nearly as intense as it was then and i'm not looking to return there anytime soon. i already wrote a book about it, after all. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QfpJKNMQ3gc i won't say i'm surprised you've brought up 'Les Fleurs du mal,' but i'm not sure it's appropriate to elucidate here. to tackle it extremely vaguely; love is my only Vice and the core of my being. we would need to sit down together and talk about it. Pale shades and deathly grays, the twilight of a life. To hear the sound when no one's around, the cutting of a knife.
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Aug 16, 2020 23:29
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i miss my buddy. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4h95e8CG80Q
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Aug 18, 2020 20:03
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Star Me Kitten posted:Hello vampire buddy. I like the last song you sent. Work has clogged up my time and turned my brain to mush this week. Philip K. Dick is a great writer.. postmodern i think? Of course he is troubled. After all, he is genius.. following your line of thought there that knowledge is a burden. Do you like Pynchon? spare the explanation. do not mistake my posts for insistence, i enjoy using your absence as an excuse to post music or harass you because i'm a selfish arsehole. i haven't read any Pynchon, mostly out of time concerns, for i seem to have an endless amount yet never enough. perhaps i'm irritated he shares my first name. if i placed all the books i want to read in front of me, which would i pick? and why would it be none of them. questions and my dimwitted answers. i'm feeling whimsical again, forgive me. Star Me Kitten posted:I have been happy with the various levels of discourse ive found on SA. I guess it depends on the thread and the subforum, though. And people won't stop asking me about my reg date which has become super annoying? I don't really get it. I know some big drama went down here but I only looked into it insofar as to know not to spend money because I really don't care about the drama. I am here for conversation. Oh well. you chose a very poor time to arrive on the forums. any money spent right now goes into the pocket of the owner who has physically and emotionally abused 3? women (including wives), disowned his young children and effectively embezzled hundreds of thousands of dollars donated/paid by goons under false pretences. so anyone giving money to him right now is universally reviled (with good reason). in fact a significant population of the forum are in limbo (including me) and will leave or at least shout loudly if a proposed transfer of site ownership falls through. there's a lot more to the story than that stretching back two decades but suffice to say Something Awful has never been closer to total destruction. it only seems calm because admins have decided pretending nothing is wrong is the way forward, while they routinely lock the routine threads about it. if we're lucky there might even be a brutal suppression against posters like me, eventually. my existence continues unburdened by reality. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0itGqFgY4ts
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Aug 19, 2020 00:26
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Star Me Kitten posted:Send more music in the interim! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a4BraF2gDxc
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Aug 19, 2020 01:59
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Star Me Kitten posted:You have great musical taste. there's still time to change that opinion. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kZys8w67MxY i'm a monster.
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Aug 19, 2020 05:02
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OEa8TLuYFMc i had a dream i burnt down a great library filled with every book ever written. consumed in an inferno. at the centre of the bare and empty building, filled with ash, i planted a single seed. from that seed grew a tiny sapling, turning greener and getting larger with every passing second until it was a small tree shooting upwards. by the time it had reached the roof of this cavernous hall it was a great Oak, with huge limbs and leafy canopy. at its full growth the Oak flowered long tendrils and then dropped its seeds. from these seeds, like the single seed before it, grew an entire forest. grass, shrubs, trees, every plant imaginable grew around the Oak and spread to fill the entire desolate library until it was a vast green meadow. the forest trees bloomed, spread their seeds, and died. new life taking their place. in the dead husks of trees past, animals began to appear. spiders and insects, squirrels and foxes, birds and deer. these creatures spun webs, made dens and nests. prey grazed and predators ate prey, they laid eggs and birthed young, raised families and they too spread across the forest. as time went by i noticed the wood began to take a different shape. trees were contorting, animals were doing strange things. spiders were spinning silk that was being carried away by birds and mice were collecting leaves. the tall, strong trees that fell were replaced by trunks in strange shapes no natural tree would make. the forest was rebuilding itself in a new image i did not understand until it had already finished. trees had become towering bookcases filled with shelves. on those shelves animals had placed books, spun from leaves and silk collected by every animal in the forest. as the library was reborn from the ashes the forest disappeared, the animals vanished, until once again i was standing alone in the great library filled with every book ever written. the great Oak i had planted in the middle was the only tree to remain. a dead trunk only. each second was an Age, 100 years passed in the blink of an eye, making the whole thing seem like an explosion of life. i had stood watching the beginning and end as it unfolded before my very eyes. what was i. the creator or simply the instigator? why did i destroy the library in the first place. was i always going to rebuild it? i had no control over what happened, no understanding of what was happening, until it had already happened. the power of life and death. able to create, but not control. if i had never burnt the library down to begin with, would it have made a difference? my presence was not necessary. no matter what i did the result was going to be the same. and that was my dream. Strumpie fucked around with this message at 23:45 on Aug 19, 2020 |
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Aug 19, 2020 23:42
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i don't keep a dream diary. i just remember. (enjoying the music) Strumpie fucked around with this message at 00:16 on Aug 20, 2020 |
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Aug 19, 2020 23:46
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yes, i always dream very vividly and lucidly. i can smell and experience pain in my dreams. i actually taught myself to not be aware i was dreaming because, well. dreams are perhaps the one place i can simply. exist. a psychologist (friend) once tried quite hard to convince me to study sleep phenomena because of it. but i don't care to dismantle my unconscious psyche and lose my one refuge to a stark reality. i keep in my unconscious mind shades of people i once knew. simulacra that visit me in my dreams and talk to me, exactly how they would if they were there. although they aren't them, they're as real as anything else i can identify. and i've done everything i can imagine. created worlds as a god, died and been born. but there are limits. i lack a creative mind and am incapable of originality. i must draw from memory. i cannot create something from nothing. thus my dreams are rife with allegory, often quite obvious, sometimes perplexing. my mind also blurs the line between reality and dream at the best of times. i often have sleep paralysis and hallucinate (visually, audibly). i have watched the grim reaper standing at the end of my bed, scythe in hand, for hours. unable to move, a cold void staring back at me. i'm arachnophobic yet the patron of my dreams is a spider. i've watched her hanging inches from my face, devouring her prey, as i lay totally paralysed. although i'm terrified, i feel no fear. and that's not a contradiction. i experience what can best be described as a duality in my unconscious experiences. someone, or something, that's not quite me. i have never taken drugs in my life (expect paracetamol). i also suffer no mental illnesses of any kind. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B7dtEhsGy4M Strumpie fucked around with this message at 05:53 on Aug 20, 2020 |
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Aug 20, 2020 05:50
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n1qX2Ux2eMg
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Aug 21, 2020 01:23
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Star Me Kitten posted:Hey Strumpie--I feel bad for Daikloktos about his buddy's trip to the great beyond. I would tell him but I am only allowed to talk to you here. you're new here so i'll let you know Daikloktos is crazy and clammy will reappear in fyad, eventually. they'll both be fine.
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Aug 21, 2020 02:03
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i try not to listen to Blonde Redhead too much. it makes me cry.
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Aug 21, 2020 02:09
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