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I get it. We all like different things. Different genres of music. Different fast-food restaurant offerings. Different official TSR campaign settings with associated adventure modules and New York Times bestselling novels and short story collections. Tastes are subjective. One person's 2001 is another person's The Number 23. I try not to boo when someone cheers, but I'm going lay out my case in a series of posts: Dragonlance sucks. You're welcome and encouraged to refute support my points. You might also call me an old and degenerate nerd, if you manage to turn on your monitor, but I'd rather hear why you do or don't agree that this sucky IP is sucky. Let's delve.
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Aug 20, 2020 21:28
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I don't know what the deal was with Raistlin.
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Aug 20, 2020 21:34
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You guys remember Dragon's Lair? That weird arcade game where you didn't do poo poo just pushed a button then watched a cartoon for 30 minutes? poo poo sucked. But it did inspire that wicked weird Time Traveler 3D game.
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Aug 20, 2020 21:39
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Krynn I'll start slow. I do not like the name "Krynn." It looks as though it is a current child's name. Weis and Hickman could not have known this in... gently caress, 1984? Christ, that's old. They couldn't have known then that the name would sound like the planet has sibling planets names Brayland and Coffree and Keighlert. But a fantasy world needs teeth: Middle Earth, Toril, Greyhawk, Lake Geneva. [put image here when imgur works again] Krynn dekenda est.
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Aug 20, 2020 21:43
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Dragonlance sucked so bad that in Spelljammer, you could tale a magic space barge between fantasy world settings but once you got to Krynn you couldn't leave because of the Phlogiston flow or something. So even your imagination wouldn't let you leave that dumbass world without sucking off a powerful wizard and they were too busy at their enclaves torturing children under the guise of testing them like some kind of hosed up Hogwarts arm of Penn State.
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Aug 20, 2020 21:47
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Big Beef City posted:I don't know what the deal was with Raistlin. As the kids say: this. Motherfucker got into an accident and now his pupils are hourglasses. And his skin is golden. Everything after that makes even less sense. Grem posted:You guys remember Dragon's Lair? That weird arcade game where you didn't do poo poo just pushed a button then watched a cartoon for 30 minutes? poo poo sucked. Man, I played Dragon's Lair in 2018 with a tutorial open in front of me on my phone and I still couldn't get poo poo done. I have a soft spot for the other one, and will occasionally say "you should've used a time reversal cube" in the most Ed Wynn voice I can do.
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Aug 20, 2020 21:49
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The magical fantasy land of Karen fake edit: Also Spelljammer was clearly the better 2e setting, only marred by containing Dragonlance within it
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Aug 20, 2020 21:49
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NC Wyeth Death Cult posted:Dragonlance sucked so bad that in Spelljammer, you could tale a magic space barge between fantasy world settings but once you got to Krynn you couldn't leave because of the Phlogiston flow or something. So even your imagination wouldn't let you leave that dumbass world without sucking off a powerful wizard and they were too busy at their enclaves torturing children under the guise of testing them like some kind of hosed up Hogwarts arm of Penn State. loving goddamn yes. I'd completely forgotten about this. Spelljammer is a glorious mess of space hamsters and British colonial hippo men, and even it couldn't do anything interesting with Dragonlance. edit: Asterite34 posted:The magical fantasy land of Karen 
Empty Sandwich fucked around with this message at 21:54 on Aug 20, 2020 |
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Aug 20, 2020 21:51
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Hard agree OP, its trash fantasy thats about as interesting as listening to some idiot droll on and on about the fifth generation of the homebrew DnD setting their friends have been playing since 1987 where all of the cool themes are actually incredibly shallow and unimaginative, and you can't keep track of all the one dimensional characters they keep making references and jokes about
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Aug 20, 2020 21:53
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Empty Sandwich posted:loving goddamn yes. I'd completely forgotten about this. Spelljammer is a glorious mess of space hamsters and British colonial hippo men, and even it couldn't do anything interesting with Dragonlance. You say that, but I just remembered Tinker gnomes were from Dragonlance, and those little assholes were born to build ramshackle spaceships powered by rubber bands and giant hamster wheels. Course, the fact it was space meant you encountered them AWAY from Dragonlance proper most of the time
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Aug 20, 2020 21:54
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Asterite34 posted:You say that, but I just remembered Tinker gnomes were from Dragonlance, and those little assholes were born to build ramshackle spaceships powered by rubber bands and giant hamster wheels. Course, the fact it was space meant you encountered them AWAY from Dragonlance proper most of the time gently caress I forgot about the space gnomes. But they were luckier than us... they got away from Dragonlance.
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Aug 20, 2020 21:55
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yeah ive been through the wikipedia synopsis of it before after seeing it on tvtropes or some poo poo. sounds really bad, wont read it.
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Aug 20, 2020 22:01
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RepeatingMeme posted:Hard agree OP, its trash fantasy thats about as interesting as listening to some idiot droll on and on about the fifth generation of the homebrew DnD setting their friends have been playing since 1987 where all of the cool themes are actually incredibly shallow and unimaginative, and you can't keep track of all the one dimensional characters they keep making references and jokes about Let's start there: The Campaign Hickman and his wife had an idea. "Dragonlance," they said. "What if Dragonlance?" And then just after that, TSR said, "Hey... what if indeed Dragonlance?" And they paired Hickman with Weis. But the way they wrote the novels was by running a goddamn Dungeons & Dragons campaign. Every character is therefore a kind of Mary Sue. But it's worse than that. Have you ever set foot inside a game store? If you have, then I'm sure that some cheerful but unpleasant guy has buttonholed you to tell you about his character in his favorite game. This is the entirety of everything in Dragonlance. And they're not just telling you about their own characters. They're telling you about the other players' characters, like Raistlin, mentioned above but I have to work up to him for reasons involving both research and anger management. And it's still worse than that. These stories sold millions of copies. These adventures sold... whatever a whole bunch of copies is a lot for adventures. There were computer games, sorta. Large chunks of America, perhaps large chunks of the world, were paying money to read a Cliff's Notes version of a group of people's epic D&D campaign.
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Aug 20, 2020 22:05
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Khanstant posted:yeah ive been through the wikipedia synopsis of it before after seeing it on tvtropes or some poo poo. sounds really bad, wont read it. I fully support this course of nonaction.
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Aug 20, 2020 22:06
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I'm gonna binge the trilogy again, and you can't stop me.
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Aug 20, 2020 22:09
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thought it said Dragonforce at first I was aboutta kramer into this thread
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Aug 20, 2020 22:10
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I know he's Forgotten Realms and not Dragonlance but Elminster sucks poo poo
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Aug 20, 2020 22:14
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It was an enjoyable read when I was 13, I even have some fond memories that I will definitely not dispel by trying to open one of those trash novels as a bitter adult. I remember being awed at a character that was a clear villain and a devout supporter of an evil goddess but still a sympathetic and kind character unlike a lot of children's entertainment villains.
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Aug 20, 2020 22:25
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Kender Now we're loving getting started. I'm going to limit my quotes from the Dragonlance Fandom Wiki, which is by the way the worst written Fandom Wiki I've ever read. This statement should be chilling. Let me set things up: you know halflings, right? They're basically hobbits, except that the estate of JRR Tolkien send a letter to E Gary Gygax that more or less read "stop calling them hobbits or we'll sue you to death." (EGG did stop but also apparently took the lesson that everybody should be sued constantly. That's a different gripe.) Anyway: halfbitlings. Short folk. Capable of being sneaky. The only way to improve them would be to make them look like children and have no sense of personal property, viz: Dragonlance Fandom Wiki posted:Kender are unique to Krynn. They are like the Halflings which many other worlds sport, but they are much more interesting than that. Kender appear to be small Human children—slight of build, beardless, about three and half to four feet tall. Kender generally live for 100 years (or until their curiosity kills them). Much more interesting indeed. While this is the one obvious fantasy arena that I don't recall any weird perverts settling into, I am willing in a Schroedinger way to be disproven: I will acknowledge it, but I do not want to see the evidence. (I'm aware even though I do not actually know that it's on Deviantart.) But this isn't the worst thing about kender. The worst thing about kender is that they constantly steal poo poo, but they "don't" "know" "that" "it's" "stealing". They will straight-up take your poo poo, but oh dang, they don't consider it stealing, and to accuse them of doing so is hardcore cultural bias: anyone not a kender [in a calm voice]: Why did you steal my coin purse? a kender, in response: A bloo bloo bloo bloo! Steawing? I would never do such of a thing! I found this, and what's more I'm unconsciously crafting a justification! If they were just communists, that would be rad. But let's just assume that personal property is not private property, and these guys don't give the slightest poo poo about either, in the most boring way. SPECIAL EXTRA NERDY NOTE: There's a... Anyway, it wields a polearm known as the tol-kendar, the body wrecker. I am interested in etymology, but I'm lazy. I haven't chased this down further, but I'm blaming these fake Oliver halflings for being one of the wreckers of Dragonlance. But there are so many others.
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Aug 20, 2020 22:43
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mekyabetsu posted:I'm gonna binge the trilogy again, and you can't stop me. I salute you and I support your decisions and you are a handsome person. I would never stop you; I just can't abide this for me. Tiny Tubesteak Tom posted:thought it said Dragonforce at first I was aboutta kramer into this thread I don't even know what that is and so would never impugn its fans. Who What Now posted:I know he's Forgotten Realms and not Dragonlance but Elminster sucks poo poo I like FR, but holy poo poo that smug unhelpful bastard. Like a Gandalf who's even more hamstrung. Colonel Cancer posted:It was an enjoyable read when I was 13, I even have some fond memories that I will definitely not dispel by trying to open one of those trash novels as a bitter adult. I'm glad these are pleasant memories, and I'm not trying to ruin them. I just dislike these books.
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Aug 20, 2020 22:48
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Dragonlance is good only because it inspired this song https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mIdzJnbUb5g
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Aug 20, 2020 22:59
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Some Dragonlance highlights I half remember from when I was 10 and read these garbage novels. The island of sexy ogres that never have sex but are so smoking hot you’d like try to instantly rape one if you saw them. A demon powered steamroller that wanted to turn every sentient creature into road kill. A dude loving a Kinder because he was into kids and the kinder had a giant fetish I guess. Edit: I think there is a novel were a dwarf fucks a dwarf with Down syndrome too. Lot of loving.
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Aug 20, 2020 23:00
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Dragonlance was legit the reason I thought swords n' sorcery fantasy was lame as a kid. These days I accept Forgotten Realms stuff as having its place because 5e doesn't really give a gently caress about all the RA Salvatore stuff, but it really sucks that they put Elminster or Drizzit up-front because even as a 13 year-old that stuff smelled like some tryhard bullshit, and I was watching Dragonball Z unironically at the time. Do you know how lame you have to come across that Dragonball Z is legitimately hipper and edgier?
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Aug 20, 2020 23:02
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I started my sword and sorcery adventure with Fafhrd and Gray Mouser stories at the age of maybe 11 so thank gods all the D&D adjacent garbage didn't spoil it for me until advanced age
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Aug 20, 2020 23:03
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Fastball LIVE in concert posted:Dragonlance is good only because it inspired this song I disagree, and I say that as someone who has listened to Manowar and Bolt Thrower on purpose. But it sounds as though these guys paved the way. I must respect that. Sorta. Numlock posted:Some Dragonlance highlights I half remember from when I was 10 and read these garbage novels. I like the steamroller; I cannot abide these other things.
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Aug 20, 2020 23:06
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I read the series when I was a nerdy preteen and literally nothing you can say will change my mind that dragonlance rules. And for this reason I will never read it again
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Aug 20, 2020 23:08
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Colonel Cancer posted:I started my sword and sorcery adventure with Fafhrd and Gray Mouser stories at the age of maybe 11 so thank gods all the D&D adjacent garbage didn't spoil it for me until advanced age Are you Incredibly Old or is this like me discovering Lovecraft as a small child? Either way, I think you did it right. Reading Vance as a D&D proxy/inspiration is... not great. mind the walrus posted:Dragonlance was legit the reason I thought swords n' sorcery fantasy was lame as a kid. I will tell a parable: Many, many years ago I went to France, everybody I saw on public transit was reading DBZ. I don't know what this means. I didn't like any of the Elminster poo poo, bc dang. I liked the Drizzt novels, but I don't... think they're good. Except compared to the Dragonlance novels.
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Aug 20, 2020 23:13
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Evil Bob posted:I read the series when I was a nerdy preteen and literally nothing you can say will change my mind that dragonlance rules. And for this reason I will never read it again I don't want to poison your memories. I just want to protect future generations
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Aug 20, 2020 23:14
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Empty Sandwich posted:I like the steamroller; I cannot abide these other things. I vaguely recall the main character of that novel was a goblin who kept trying to seduce some thief girl or the other way around.
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Aug 20, 2020 23:15
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Agreed
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Aug 20, 2020 23:20
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Grem posted:You guys remember Dragon's Lair? That weird arcade game where you didn't do poo poo just pushed a button then watched a cartoon for 30 minutes? poo poo sucked. At least it was funny
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Aug 20, 2020 23:20
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Empty Sandwich posted:I don't want to poison your memories. I guess I can burn the ones I have left before any children get their hands on them
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Aug 20, 2020 23:22
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Dragonlances Oh, cool! The thing that the entire series is literally named after. Clearly this artifact will make an appearance. Haha, no. Let's compare, oh... the Lord of the Rings. In the first book: - the ring [the main one] - the Lord [at least by implication] Now let's try Dragonlance: - dragons [none] - lances [who gives a poo poo, unless they're on dragons, which QED they're not] "We'll call it Lord of the Rings! Nobody will give the slightest poo poo about either of those nouns until it frankly doesn't matter anymore."
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Aug 20, 2020 23:27
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Empty Sandwich posted:Are you Incredibly Old or is this like me discovering Lovecraft as a small child? Either way, I think you did it right. Reading Vance as a D&D proxy/inspiration is... not great. I have an old soul sonny. Nah I was growing up in a non-english environment and I just stumbled upon some pretty good poo poo like aforementioned Fafhrd and also Conan in my native tongue as a young child. Come to think of it I also read precisely one Drizzt novel as a teenager and the only thing I recall is titular elf not fuckin' to spite his parents.
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Aug 20, 2020 23:27
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Never played it op was it on super nintendo or sega
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Aug 20, 2020 23:28
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thread full of ppl who hate a thing they know every detail about. hmm.
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Aug 20, 2020 23:30
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Hey OP Dragonlance actually owns Lord Soth is great and Kitiara is my...simp, I think is the term nowadays? The word for fictional character you want to bang
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Aug 20, 2020 23:30
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Colonel Cancer posted:I have an old soul sonny. Nah I was growing up in a non-english environment and I just stumbled upon some pretty good poo poo like aforementioned Fafhrd and also Conan in my native tongue as a young child. You seem like a man who would enjoy some Michael Moorcock
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Aug 20, 2020 23:32
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Hell Yeah posted:thread full of ppl who hate a thing they know every detail about. hmm. Wow you discovered the cause of every divorce ever.
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Aug 20, 2020 23:32
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Gologle posted:You seem like a man who would enjoy some Michael Moorcock Heard about him but never got into it. Discworld is pretty much all the fantasy I've ever needed. Then again I do disappoint every D&D group I participate in by making Rincewind
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Aug 20, 2020 23:36
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