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Treecko
Apr 23, 2008

The Official Demon Girl
Boss of 2022!
Awww yeah, this is gonna get dirty! I'll help you boys out, you can come gently caress my husband for free. I'm on the rag but I'll watch! It's not gay if theres a lady there!

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Joust
Dec 7, 2007

No Ledges.
ok google how to kiss

Chef Boyardeez Nuts
Sep 9, 2011

The more you kick against the pricks, the more you suffer.
Most marriages are out of wedlock, op

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon
A wedlock is like a thing you put on the sub's penis right?

Chef Boyardeez Nuts
Sep 9, 2011

The more you kick against the pricks, the more you suffer.

Colonel Cancer posted:

A wedlock is like a thing you put on the sub's penis right?

No that's a wife.

Fsmhunk
Jul 19, 2012

by Fluffdaddy
How does one talk to girls? How do I avoid talking to her at length about robots while staring at the center of her forehead in a fruitless bid to maintain eye contact?

Weka
May 5, 2019

That child totally had it coming. Nobody should be able to be out at dusk except cars.

saint anime posted:

I can help with the pre-game too, baby. Give it to me. We gotta work on that selfie game. Women eat with their eyes first, and then will be eating with you at a fancy restaurant, and the third thing that ends up being eaten? ;) Your heart normally..

Wait, are you setting us up with some sort of mantis lady hybrid? Not that that's necessarily a deal breaker, but I'd like to know what I'm getting into.

grillster
Dec 25, 2004

:chaostrump:
Swipe left until there's nothing left

Jailbrekr
Apr 8, 2002
A TOWN LEVELED BY AN EXPLOSION? DOZENS LIKELY KILLED? OH GOD LET ME SEE THAT SWEET VIDEO OH MY GOD I'M CUMMING
:fap::fap::fap::fap::fap::fap::fap::fap:

saint anime posted:

I say stick to your wife. You made a vow-until death do you part, in sickness and in health, for better or worse. Only you know what ignited that flame that made the two of you lovebirds get married in the first place. loving in a closet at a house party and getting married out of wedlock? Sprinkle a path of rose petals from her parking spot in the garage all the way to your sexiest closet wherein you’ll be waiting. Take it back, nostalgia is a powerful tool..and your dick can be a power tool ready to drill if you reignite the passion

closet sex you say? I shall report back on the results.

saint anime
Jul 28, 2020

by Fluffdaddy

Fsmhunk posted:

How does one talk to girls? How do I avoid talking to her at length about robots while staring at the center of her forehead in a fruitless bid to maintain eye contact?

If a girl doesn’t want to hear you talk about your passion she is not worth forming a relationship with.

VideoTapir
Oct 18, 2005

He'll tire eventually.
Robots in general or sex robots in particular?

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon
A miserable Roomba with dilz

saint anime
Jul 28, 2020

by Fluffdaddy
Long weekend. Saturday night. Let's get some gash.

numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014

How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:

I don't do that sex stuff
im waiting for sex 2.0 :cool:

nut
Jul 30, 2019

Don’t need any help op just came to flex on al the lonely goons in this thread with my three (3!) relationship with my pen pal in the Balkans I send her DVDs of Intervention episodes and she sends back pieces of paper with her reviews which usually just say yes or no I know what you’d like to say but distance is just distance and if anything i know her better than myself

free hubcaps
Oct 12, 2009

hello i heard there was a free thing itt?

saint anime
Jul 28, 2020

by Fluffdaddy
Pussy report. Post your hauls!

Hot Dog Day #91
Jun 19, 2003

I'm allergic to pussy

Kharohz
Jul 25, 2007

THE BELL TOLLS FOR THEE
Why would I want to get laid, I'm on anti-depressants! Pff, kids these days.

By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007
Probation
Can't post for 13 hours!

Hot Dog Day #91 posted:

I'm allergic to pussy

Thankfully humans come equipped with a Mouth and Anus and sometimes a Penis, all of which make great alternatives.

also I hear there's a lot of experimentation in the Body Modification community so maybe check it out if you want to find more options open:haw: to you.

numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014

How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

My new GF has an IED in her puss puss so I can just cum buckets and not have baby.

I kinda just took her word for it too lol. Maybe there's a baby on the way.

nut
Jul 30, 2019

saint anime posted:

Pussy report. Post your hauls!

I got a box of red airheads, a bag of granny smith apples, and 2 boxes of kraft dinner

bird with big dick
Oct 21, 2015

i am not gay but i still want to make love to a man can you help me

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

numberoneposter posted:

My new GF has an IED in her puss puss so I can just cum buckets and not have baby.

I kinda just took her word for it too lol. Maybe there's a baby on the way.

She got an Improvised Explosive Device in there? drat that's a bomb rear end pussy

Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD
Unfortunately I had written the date down wrong. My court date was the 6th of September. I was convicted in absentia and sentenced to two years in prison. Thanks for nothing OP. As for the rest of you at least one of you could have pointed out that there's no such month as Sextember.

Chrs
Sep 21, 2015

Is this like when Tom Sawyer tricks his friends into painting the fence for him?

gently caress your own drat women OP

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

I'm a trisexual agnostic power bottom that looks like a dog stole the Christmas ham off the table.
A sex wizard with an rear end as a spell book and a powerful wand.
I don't need this, op

NavyBlue
Dec 22, 2013

Guess where this lollipop's going?
please i just want a woman to look at me without being visibly disgusted

By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007
Probation
Can't post for 13 hours!

NavyBlue posted:

please i just want a woman to look at me without being visibly disgusted

Ahve you considered an anime body pillow?

Methanar
Sep 26, 2013

by the sex ghost
I don't get matches in the first place.

please advise

saint anime
Jul 28, 2020

by Fluffdaddy

Methanar posted:

I don't get matches in the first place.

please advise

Post what picture your're using for your profile and I'll help spruce it up.

Samuel L. ACKSYN
Feb 29, 2008


wow u want me to violate social distancing protocols to "get laid" ??>?

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon
It's ok BB it's exactly 6' and 3" long

Chrs
Sep 21, 2015

Nerds don’t have sex because they don’t like physical exercise

KillerJunglist
May 22, 2007

Lion of Judah protect you, Jah be praised.
Pffft. I don't need no free get laid service.

Now a free oil change, I'm all about that!

And I want the good oil. Full synthetic, you.

mobby_6kl
Aug 9, 2009

Colonel Cancer posted:

She got an Improvised Explosive Device in there? drat that's a bomb rear end pussy

It's a snuke

very nice i like
Jan 8, 2020

zaepg
Dec 25, 2008

by sebmojo
butts

zaepg fucked around with this message at 03:40 on Sep 14, 2020

Mrs. Sexual
Feb 3, 2020
Do me

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Harveygod
Jan 4, 2014

YEEAAH HEH HEH HEEEHH

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN

THIS TRASH WAR AIN'T GONNA SOLVE ITSELF YA KNOW

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