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Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?


WWE Champions - Click for pictures/details etc.

Raw: WWE Champion Drew McIntyre | Raw Women's Champion Asuka | United States Champion Bobby Lashley | Tag Champions The Street Profits | Womenís Tag Champions Shayna Baszler & Nia Jax | 24/7 Champion R-Truth
Smackdown: Universal Champion Roman Reigns | Womenís Champion Bayley | Intercontinental Champion Sami Zayn | Fake Intercontinental Champion Jeff Hardy | Tag Champions Shinsuke Nakamura & Cesaro | Womenís Tag Champions Shayna Baszler & Nia Jax
NXT: NXT Champion Finn BŠlor | Womenís Champion Io Shirai | NXT North American Champion Damian Priest | Cruiserweight Champion Jordan Devlin | Tag Champions Breezango
NXT UK: UK Champion WALTER | Womenís Champion Kay Lee Ray | Tag Team Champions Gallus
____________________________

Prior Discussion Threads for 2020:
January | February | March | April | May | June | July | August |

My Favorite WWE Related Posts for 2020:
January | February | March | April | May | June | July | August | September |
____________________________

Apparently the OPs are getting way too long, so for this month apart from last month's recap (below) we'll experiment with just linking to the post that recaps the latest episode of Raw/NXT/Smackdown/PPV etc.

September Results:
NXT 9/1 | Smackdown 9/4 | Raw 9/7 | NXT 9/8 | Smackdown 9/11 | Raw 9/14 | NXT 9/16 | Smackdown 9/18 | Raw 9/21 |

WWE In August:
  • On the same night, Shane McMahon returned to run an underground fight club called Raw Underground every week, and a group called Retribution clearly modeled after a Conservative's nightmare about Antifa (but "non-political") debuted to mildly inconvenience people.
  • Apollo Crews managed to retain the United States Championship against MVP but then lose it to Bobby Lashley. MVP's heel stable The Hurt Business are largely feuding with Crews, Cedric Alexander and Ricochet, with The Viking Raiders thrown in every so often.
  • Kamala died, as did Bullet Bob Armstrong
  • Raw hit astonishing new lows in the ratings, getting beaten in the 18-34 demo in all three hours at one point by AEW.
  • Montez Ford of the Street Profits got "poisoned", supposedly by Zelina Vega.
  • Angel Garza appears to be trying to get some lady from a reality show laid?
  • Velveteen Dream returned to NXT and got a match for a title shot despite serious and seemingly well-documented attempts to groom a minor. Triple H claimed a thorough investigation had exonerated Dream, despite one of the victims pointing out that WWE never approached them or got in touch in any way.
  • WWE got a sweetheart deal to run for the next 3 months at Amway Stadium instead of the Performance Center. The PC hostages were replaced by THUNDERDOME: an array of LED screens livestreaming fans watching the show while fake noise is piped in over the speakers. Ratings went up but Thunderdome itself has been a bit of a disaster, with the fans being coached by a crowd coordinator in their reactions, and very unpleasant things being shown on the screens at times.
  • The Street Profits were proudly proclaimed to be the longest reigning Raw Tag Team Champions in the Post-2016 WWE Draft Era.... which means nothing, less than nothing!
  • Seth Rollins brutally beat Dominik Mysterio with a kendo stick, beat him in a match on PPV, lost a tag match against Rey and Dominik at another PPV, and then beat Dominik again to get into a match to decide the Number One Contender for the WWE Championship.
  • Randy Orton punted Ric Flair (who had just delivered a hell of a promo) and promised to win the WWE Championship from Drew McIntyre at Summerslam. Instead, Drew defeated Randy with a backslide pin out of nowhere after avoiding an RKO.
  • Damian Priest won the vacant NXT North American Championship on the same night that the man who vacated it lost his NXT Championship. Breezango won the NXT Tag Titles from Imperium, just in time for the latter to return to the UK and go through quarantine before NXT UK returns.
  • Keith Lee lost the NXT Championship to Karrion Kross (who got injured and promptly vacated the belt), moved to Raw, got new music, has to wear a shirt now, and got a win over Randy Orton on PPV only for Orton to immediately get another title shot against Drew McIntyre anyway.
  • Adam Cole got involved in a feud with former football player Pat McAfee, which lead to a surprisingly good match which Cole won.
  • Matt Riddle continues to get a push despite the allegations of surprise sex against him by a woman he initially claimed was lying about an affair they had then admitted to. To make matters worse, WWE - paragons of virtue that they are - have started making references to "trouble at home" for Riddle during their shows.
  • Austin Theory, accused of trying to groom a 13-year-old girl, disappeared for awhile but has now just quietly returned to NXT.
  • BIG E is now pursuing a singles run since Xavier Woods and Kofi Kingston are both injured. He got into a heated argument with a tone-deaf Miz over black wrestlers getting overlooked or shunted aside during an appearance on the corpse of Talking Smack, which was brought back for no good reason.
  • Renee Young left WWE, and everybody hopes she finds enormous success wherever she goes, because she rules. Similarly, Mauro Ranallo and WWE came to an amicable agreement to end his employment, as Ranallo wants to spend more time with his mother as well as work as a mental health advocate.
  • Braun Strowman and Bray Wyatt had some legendarily bad matches and segments, Alexa Bliss getting pulled into the whole mess through a Swamp Fight, hallucinations, apparent heel turns and finally Bray in his Fiend persona defeated Braun to become Universal Champion.
  • Roman Reigns returned with weird teeth and an unexpected heel turn, refused to sign a contract for a Triple Threat match and then sauntered out with new manager Paul Heyman to hit a couple moves and win the Universal Championship at the Payback PPV (only a week after Summerslam).
  • This means Heyman is now on Smackdown, a show that AJ Styles moved to in order to get AWAY from Heyman, whom he blames for getting friends Karl Anderson and Luke Gallows fired (Vince is to blame).
  • Sonya Deville and Mandy Rose were involved in a horrific real-life situation in which a deranged stalker broke into Sonya's house planning to murder Mandy (there as a guest) and kidnap Sonya. Happily both escaped unharmed and the psycho was arrested. A planned hair vs hair match was changed into a Loser Leaves WWE match so Sonya could take some time to deal with the court case and hopefully settle the emotional strain of this mad event in her life.
  • Sami Zayn returned to Smackdown after a 5 month absence, carrying his Intercontinental Title and proclaiming that both Jeff Hardy (who beat AJ for the belt) and AJ were pretenders and that he is the REAL Champion.
  • The IIconics were forced to break up as a tag team for absolutely no reason following an out of nowhere match against the Riott Squad at the end of the month.
  • In fact almost EVERY tag team is being teased as breaking up: Lucha House Party, Andrade and Garza, Shinsuke Nakamura and Cesaro (who are tag champs!), Riott Squad (only recently reformed!) etc. Bayley and Sasha lost the tag titles to Shayna Baszler and Nia Jax, a team who straight up said they would only team together the once and then never have to see each other again.
  • Sasha Banks lost her Raw title to Asuka, with commentary bizarrely trying to blame Bayley for this (Bayley retained over Asuka on the same night), and the seemingly inevitable breakup of arguably the best team/double-act in WWE seems set to go ahead.
  • The COVID era continues, with WWE still refusing to acknowledge WHY they're running in empty buildings with virtual fans and crowd noise, or where and why Roman Reigns and Sami Zayn disappeared to for several months.

____________________________

Thread title:

____________________________

Jerusalem fucked around with this message at 03:00 on Sep 22, 2020

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Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?


Reserved for my favorite WWE-related posts for THIS month.

quote:


Neodoomium posted:

No Lance, Kevin Dunn was on staff before the pandemic


Lamuella posted:

Welcome to WWE food services where we hire the world's best chefs and teach them how to make nutraloaf.

Erebus posted:

The jobbers see themselves not as buried Main Eventers but as temporarily embarrassed champions.

Eat My Fuc posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wl4XuUayxac

Keith Lee calmly challenges Drew, mincing no words and speaking the truth. Drew flips the gently caress out over something innocuous, WWE titles the video

"Keith Lee Goes into a Rage on Drew McIntyre"

gently caress this racist poo poo.


quote:

Blasmeister posted:

Itís a new puppet going by what WWE has recently trademarked

Lid posted:

didn't know you could trademark Ricochet


Cavauro posted:

i love going to the factory farm and looking at all the soulless commodity animals. sometimes those animals get rescued from there and i like to remind them that they're nothing. just former factory farm meat that couldn't cut it, or be cut as it were. god bless wwe and no place else. let's go dodgers


quote:

Rarity posted:

Vince McMahon failed to make the Forbes 400 list of the richest people in America. Shad Khan was #66


Sydney Bottocks posted:

Now the guy's got Vince as a boss. Any problems, he goes to whoever Vince spoke to last. Trouble with the booking? He can go to Bruce. Trouble with the music, costumes, mic work, he can call Dunn or Triple H or any number of road agents that Vince might have given five minutes of time to in the last hour. But now the guy's gotta come up with Vince's cut of his Twitch or Cameo money every week, no matter what. Bad livestream? gently caress you, pay me. Oh, your account got locked because your hot wife was dressed too sexy one time? gently caress you, pay me. You can't wrestle any more because we eventually ruined your neck or knees or just broke your body down beyond repair and so this is now your main source of income, huh? gently caress you, pay me.

luchajones posted:

Video of the guy who talks to the Thunderdome "fans"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OUXvrWeQU0g#t=21s



Sugar Blaster posted:

that ambulance driver is the "LADY, HE'S PUTTING MY KID THROUGH COLLEGE" guy of WWE

Joey McChrist posted:

vince is literally tony soprano standing there with his hand open after ralph's horse wins big at the races

MJeff posted:

But your card said:
Independent Contractor
No Limits To Your Individual Brand

Benne posted:

Meanwhile, here's this absolute bullshit https://www.wrestlinginc.com/news/2..._medium=twitter

quote:

WWE held a call with talent last Sunday regarding the reinvention of the product. During the call, it was said that WWE owns the real names of talent, not just their character names.

oldpainless posted:

Easier to just release them. Akams rezar


quote:

Rarity posted:

I bet he still doesn't believe COVID is real

Abroham Lincoln posted:

of course he believes it's real, he's all about trying to flatten the curve.

Jerusalem fucked around with this message at 06:13 on Sep 22, 2020

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?


Reserved for any potential overrun.

The Croc
Dec 19, 2004

A-well-a everybody's heard about the bird!

OH YEAH!



The Roman era beginning on sunday was a good 6 year slow burn.

Quantum of Phallus posted:

Did anything happen on Raw last night

Iiconics broke up and Orton got another title shot.

Quantum of Phallus
Dec 27, 2010




Did anything happen on Raw last night

Majinfoose
Jul 26, 2007

Most likely to commit galactic genocide.

Quantum of Phallus posted:

Did anything happen on Raw last night

Another Klan video got past the intern in the WWE THUNDERDOME

Rarity
Oct 21, 2010

Excuse me, I'd like to
speak to the moderator




Jerusalem posted:

Reserved for any potential overrun.

Raw overruns lost their potential years ago

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?


Rarity posted:

Raw overruns lost their potential years ago

Thread already off to a good start

I didn't see Raw, but did they seriously just announce out of the blue for zero reason "loser of this match has to break up their tag team"? What the hell are the IIconics gonna do now?

Cavauro
Jan 9, 2008



The Big Dog



Roman



Reigns

Seth Rollins
Oct 24, 2001

i'll always take care of you


Muldoon

i think wwe is better than aew

Hoss Corncave
Feb 13, 2012


Seth Rollins posted:

i think wwe is better than aew

Post/username combo checks out.

Quantum of Phallus
Dec 27, 2010




Jerusalem posted:

What the hell are the IIconics gonna do now?

Who gives a poo poo, they suck

Eat My Fuc
May 29, 2007

Qu'ils mangent de la baise!


Cavauro posted:

The Big Dog



Roman



Reigns



Faithless fools get back. This is Big Dog country Ooooaaah!

jesus WEP
Oct 17, 2004

OM NOM NOM NOM NOM



Fun Shoe

roman reigns and keith lee need to wrestle topless gat drat youíre ruining this business vince

TriffTshngo
Mar 28, 2010

DANTE IS NOT


Quantum of Phallus posted:

Did anything happen on Raw last night

they apparently broke up one of the only entertaining acts in the company and one of the only like, 4 womens' tag teams in the company with zero build, while they're also on the way to breaking up one of the only other entertaining acts & womens' tag teams, with admittedly quite a bit of build (most of it i suspect accidental)

BrigadierSensible
Feb 16, 2012

Don't get my name wrong,
If you want to touch me there.

Have WWE decided, (or can we tell from the presentation), which of the IIconics is supposed to be the heel and which is supposed to be the babyface?

ShallNoiseUpon
Sep 10, 2010




Grimey Drawer

BrigadierSensible posted:

Have WWE decided, (or can we tell from the presentation), which of the IIconics is supposed to be the heel and which is supposed to be the babyface?

Iím guessing the one who threw their partner into the fighting pit against their will is the heel.

Grendels Dad
Mar 5, 2011

Popular culture has passed you by.

ShallNoiseUpon posted:

I’m guessing the one who threw their partner into the fighting pit against their will is the heel.

Maybe she did it to make separating easier on both.

That could actually be a fun story, a team "has to" break up as per match stipulation or whatever, and one tries to act like a heel to make the transition easier but fails every time because they love working in a team too much.

I call the story "Brexit".

Rarity
Oct 21, 2010

Excuse me, I'd like to
speak to the moderator




They're both the heels. It is what it is.

boxcarhobo
Jun 23, 2005



The Croc posted:

Iiconics broke up and Orton got another title shot.

wait WHAT

Quantum of Phallus posted:

Who gives a poo poo, they suck

me i do they're funny

Cerebral Bore
Apr 21, 2010



Fun Shoe

I think it's worth mentioning that Brock Lesnar apparently is a free agent now, most likely as part of a scheme to get Vince to send a couple of additional dump trucks of money to him.

The Croc
Dec 19, 2004

A-well-a everybody's heard about the bird!

OH YEAH!




Your saving grace is this is wwe and they'll prob be back together next week.

Hefty Leftist
Jun 26, 2011

"You know how vodka or whiskey are distilled multiple times to taste good? It's the same with shit. After being digested for the third time shit starts to taste reeeeeeaaaally yummy."



can't believe Randy Orton is 40, he wrestles and feels like he's about to turn 50

Lamuella
Jun 26, 2003

It's like goldy or bronzy, but made of iron.




Hefty Leftist posted:

can't believe Randy Orton is 40, he wrestles and feels like he's about to turn 50

Randy Orton is three years younger than Lance Archer.

jesus WEP
Oct 17, 2004

OM NOM NOM NOM NOM



Fun Shoe

randall keith has a lot of miles on the clock

BrigadierSensible
Feb 16, 2012

Don't get my name wrong,
If you want to touch me there.

I, against all reasons and evidence trying to get me to do otherwise, actually like Randy Orton.

I have bad wrestling opinions.

Gonz
Dec 22, 2009

"Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?"


Best restholds in the biz.

Quantum of Phallus
Dec 27, 2010




Randy's fine. Great promo

KungFu Grip
Jun 18, 2008



iiconics and riott squad have been feuding for like a month, i basically only follow what wwe does through twitter shitposts and i knew that much. it was also a #1 contenders match

jesus WEP
Oct 17, 2004

OM NOM NOM NOM NOM



Fun Shoe

Feudding for the right to have extra letters in your name

Quantum of Phallus
Dec 27, 2010




jesus WEP posted:

Feudding for the right to have extra letters in your name

Haha

Ziggy Tzardust
Apr 7, 2006


jesus WEP posted:

Feudding for the right to have extra letters in your name

We really are in 2000s WCW

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

This post brought to you by RAID: SHADOW LEGENDS.
RAID: SHADOW LEGENDS - It's for your phoneTM #ad



Orton is a good wrestler when he actually gives a poo poo. He just has rarely given a poo poo for the past 7 years

bartok
May 10, 2006

hey!
hey!
it's me kane!
hello!


oldpainless posted:

Orton is a good wrestler when he actually gives a poo poo. He just has rarely given a poo poo for the past 7 years

The last match I saw where Orton seemed like he gave a poo poo was against Luke Harper at Elimination Chamber 2017. The crowd was red hot for a potential Luke Harper babyface run but we all know how that turned out.

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012

plz remember that it was ~ME~ who told you that everything you like is actually really not good, because I knew all along.





Post Wrestling posted:

*One source noted to us that Retribution is expected to only appear on Raw moving forward.

Cerebral Bore
Apr 21, 2010



Fun Shoe

Very polite violent marauders those Retribution folks.

ShallNoiseUpon
Sep 10, 2010




Grimey Drawer


This, to me, means that Retribution is obviously working for the SMACKDOWN BRAND to attack and dethrone RAW.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?


KungFu Grip posted:

iiconics and riott squad have been feuding for like a month, i basically only follow what wwe does through twitter shitposts and i knew that much. it was also a #1 contenders match

They absolutely have, there's been a story there and everything.

I still have no idea why the match they just had on Raw was a "losing team must disband FOREVER" match though.

KungFu Grip
Jun 18, 2008



Jerusalem posted:

They absolutely have, there's been a story there and everything.

I still have no idea why the match they just had on Raw was a "losing team must disband FOREVER" match though.

iiconics have been going on about how riott squad will just fall apart again because they abandoned each other in the past and the only one keeping them together was the one that was fired

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CobiWann
Oct 21, 2009

Have fun!


Maybe Vince saw Dynamite make the Top 100 TV Guide shows and thought "stagnant storytelling? I'll cram a story into one episode, how's THAT for stagnant?!?"

Meanwhile we still don't know how the Hangman/Elite break-up is going to shake out after six months and counting.

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