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Howdy Boris, hope times are treating you well with your um *tries desperately not to mention the broken tooth* token...booth.
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Sep 16, 2020 06:10
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 Riot has been a great guide so far. He really does know all the underground bookstores. My only concern is that he seems obsessed with finding a particular occult tome. I've met some of his friends, and they like to have long rambling discussions about breaking some sort of seal and waking someone up?
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Sep 16, 2020 07:02
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Diane Its 9:01 AM, September 16th. From the window in my hotel room I can see the residents of Spoonville going about their daily business. It's foggy and cool outside, the fall weather appears to be setting in, and the first leaves are just starting to change color. It is nice to get away from the bureau headquarters to quieter parts of the country from time to time. Places where there is still abundant natural beauty, and agitation has not fully overtaken serenity. Last night I had a very strange dream. In this dream I was floating above the town of Spoonville and could see all of the spoons going about their daily lives. Everything was quite peaceful. Then, in the not too far distance I heard a strange low moaning, accompanied by creaks and crashes, as well as the sound that something sticky being dragged across a smooth surface makes, like a SLUP-SLUP-SLUP! I turned to the North-East to see what was causing the disturbance, and found a large cloud of undulating reddish-purple fog obscuring whatever it was. I began to move toward this fog trying to pierce it with my gaze, to uncover whatever it was hiding. I was certain that whatever was being hidden behind that otherworldy miasma was key to uncovering the mystery of the strange occurrences happening in this place. Just as I was nearing the mass of swirling vapor a voice began to call out to me. “Evil Bob… Evil Bob…. EVIL BOB!” I woke suddenly with my heart beating rapidly and sweat on my brow. Nina the Brave was standing at my bedside. “Evil Bob, the girl who climbed down from the mountain on the train tracks has woken up at the hospital. She is muttering repeatedly in a language that no one understands.” I feel certain that my dream, the spoon girl wrapped in plastic by the river and the girl spoon who climbed down the mountain on the train tracks too scared to speak which I’ve been sent here to investigate, all of it is connected somehow. I will check in again this evening after we have visited the girl at Calspoon Memorial Hospital. I am hoping to meet the Sheriff there as well to see what local law enforcement's own investigation has unearthed. No sign of this Luvcow yet either. Nina is working the local angle to see if anyone knows where they are staying, or has seen them hanging around any other local establishments. A quick sidenote – during our visit to the library yesterday to look into “Luvcow” a book caught my eye. The book is “A Natural History of Spoonville and The Surrounding Region” Diane, did you know that this region was home to prehistoric Giant Snails? Fascinating! Apparently there is a rich indigenous spoon history in this area as well, along with several unique geological features. You never know when the history of a place can give context to current events.
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Sep 16, 2020 18:55
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What a day. As Nina the Brave and I left the hotel a steady downpour was beginning. By the time we reached Calspoon Memorial Hospital the storm appeared to be in full force. Winds had begun to whip up and the down pour began raining sideways, in the distance were loud cracks of thunder. We entered the hospital and went immediately to recovery where the spoon girl Georgina was being held. It was the strangest thing as we entered and passed through reception I noticed not one, but two of the spoon nurses reading H.P Lovecraft books. Both of the books looked very old, and as if they had been read many times. I thought back to the book Luvcow had checked out from the library, The Dunwich Horror. When we reached Georgina's room Nina SPRANG in front of me and entered first, making sure it was clear of any potential threats. Georgina mumbled to herself. "The girl hasn't spoken anything sensible since she arrived, just mumbling incoherently." The nurse said. I leaned in closer to try to make out any words. And I noticed that she was repeating a phrase in a language none of us understood. Just that moment Sheriff Frank Spoonman walked in. Without a word I requested the authority in this town on linguistics and ancient languaged. As luck would have it there was a community college professor spoon by the name of Riot who lives on the outskirts of town. According to this professor the language she is speaking is some kind of ancient spoon tongue that is indigenous to this very area! But it is a dead language that no one speaks anymore. The only phrase we could make out was: "Snilemelk, høgkultur. Kjøleskapets glemselsmur!" Which translated means: "Snail milk, a last, low-pitched scream!" It's been a long day, and it's time to get some sleep. The worst of the winds seem to have passed now, but there is still a steady rain. The news is reporting that several local bridges have been swept away by high currents, and as I go to sleep tonight, I still have the uncanny feeling that I am being watched. Evil Bob fucked around with this message at 05:41 on Sep 18, 2020
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Sep 18, 2020 04:49
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Evil Bob posted:What a day.  stay safe, evil bob!
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Sep 18, 2020 05:05
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I had another dream last night. In this dream I was in Georgina the spoon’s hospital room. And I was not alone. First I noticed Riot, the community college professor only now instead of wearing a hat he had his hair styled into full liberty spikes, and was wearing a studded vest. It was punk as gently caress Riot was pouring over an ancient tome of some sort. I could not read it if I tried, as it was written in some ancient runic language. He was following along with what Georgina was repeating, eyes wide with horror. Georgina’s voice grew louder, rather than mumbling it began sounding like a chant. Also in the room with us was Luvcow sitting at a library table, flipping feverishly through several books. He was lit only by the lamps on his table. The chanting continued to grow louder. Lastly, there were two spoons with us that I did not recognize. They did not move their mouths, but in my mind I heard them clear as day. “Our names are Nigel the Long, and Ti. Spoonville is an ancient place, filled with secrets long forgotten. Even that which has been forgotten does not disappear.” Georgina’s chanting was becoming all consuming. “I, Nigel, have glimpsed events that are yet to come. The damage done to Georgina’s mind is not of natural provenance. The events that have been set in motion cannot be stopped, but their ultimate outcome is yet to be determined.” Now it felt as if my head was splitting from Georgina’s chanting. I could hardly bear it. Ti spoke “I shall grant you a boon in your quest. What is it that you would ask for?” I am not sure if I spoke the words, or simply thought them “I must be able to decipher what Georgina is saying. I know that this will lead me on the path to solving this mystery.” At that moment there was a huge CRRAAAAACKKK!!!! and I was launched from my body into the sky, once again floating over the town. Georgina’s chanting was thunderous, in the distance the purple red fog was pulsating angrily, ever so slowly moving toward Spoonville, the noises coming from it stranger and louder than ever. The miasma was pulsating with static and lightning crackling about it. Still there was the constant SLUP-SLUP-SLUP noise of something sticky being dragged across a smooth surface. As I woke up my mind was consumed by a last, low pitched scream That was it, Nina and I will be meeting with Riot and the Sheriff soon. I feel the secrets of Spoonville are only just beginning to reveal themselves to me. First, coffee. Evil Bob fucked around with this message at 16:50 on Sep 18, 2020
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Sep 18, 2020 16:32
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Diane, A quick sidenote that just occured to me - I have read in the local paper that only days before I arrived Weed was made extra-legal. Weed is arguably more legal than just breathing regular air in Spoonville. This aligns with my own beliefs, but this if the first time I've ever seen such legislation enacted. I find it incredible that the timing has aligned with all of the current events in Spoonville, though I do not yet see how it is in any way related. Spoonville just keeps getting more and more interesting, and as I look out the window this morning I see several caddy's tippin' ridin slow, ridin sideways down the street.
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Sep 18, 2020 16:57
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 For those of you who want a sig which links to this thread, you can copy/paste the code above (ty vanisher ily)
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Sep 18, 2020 22:37
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sig check
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Sep 19, 2020 06:05
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Reminder that when viewing the code with "reply", change the "timg" tag to "img" so that it is normal size.
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Sep 19, 2020 06:09
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It has been some time since I have seen Riot, my "ambassador". He and his friends have been absent from their favorite coffee shops and bookstores. I am concerned for his well being. I cannot help but be concerned about Spoonville and its utensils. The extra-legalization of weed, the unrestrained excess of the ladle festival, and the increasing geographic isolation all suggest that something momentous is about to take place here. Everyone seems to be exerting extraordinary effort to pretend that all is well. Will the September equinox tip the balance toward good or evil? Will order or chaos prevail?
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Sep 22, 2020 05:24
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I admit, some time has been lost over the past few days. Just after my last update I left the hotel to take a walk, and let my mind process the information I've uncovered over the previous week. Upon leaving The Great Northspoon Hotel the parade of low-riding caddy's was still tippin' down the street. From the window of one of the cars so low to the ground it was scraping the asphalt I heard a familiar voice call out my name. "Evil Bob! Jump in and hit this! " It was Harry Spoonman and his pal Jinh! As we rode the streets of Spoonville dippin, tippin, blowing on that indo enveloped in a perpetual fog created by all of the lowriders. Harry began to tell me the type of stories about Spoonville that you would be less likely to find in a book at the Library. “Heh heh you may have started to get the feeling that Spoonville isn’t your average town. Sure, we are a somewhat remote place. Lots of indigenous history, hell you may have even heard about the Giant Snails that were autochthonous to this region, but brother, that is just the beginning. Now just because there is a rich indigenous history somewhere, doesn’t necessarily mean that the history is all GOOD history. What you aren’t going to find in the history books of this area is the deities those ancient spoons worshipped, or the rituals they performed. You see, these spoons, some of which whose descendants still live in town to this very day, had strange unnatural ways...” As we drove about the area in a thick haze, Harry continued to weave a tale of these archaic spoons worshipping snail like gods. These gods he told me were not of this world, or even this dimension. Snail gods with human genetalia, with human tits. The spoons would hold days long ceremonies filled with unrestrained excess intoxicating themselves with cannabis, mushrooms, and various teas made by steeping plants with psychedelic properties in boiling water. During these ceremonies they would act out rituals with spoons taking the form of one of the many snail gods and goddesses. The most common rituals included a spoon dressed with a snail head, and fake human tits. The bladders in the fake tits would be filled with the psychedelic concoction and the spoons would take turns in drinking the substance from the Fully Sexual Snail Goddess. On the last night of the ceremony the spoon in the guise of the Fully Sexual Snail Goddess would choose a young spoon man. For the evening he would be treated as a king, feasting on the finest foods, a neverending flow of fermented fruit wine, psychedelic concoctions and cannabis. The ceremony would culminate in the coupling of the Fully Sexual Snail Goddess and the spoon man. Then, in the haze which accompanies the completion of the carnal embrace, the young spoon man would be taken to the highest mountain in the region and bound beside several snail nests as an offering to the snail gods. These spoons were never seen again, and it was believed that the many snails ingested the spoons in their entirety. “You see, the indigenous spoons believed that the hedonistic ways, their devotion to the snail gods, and their offerings would all culminate one day with a final ritual. A ritual to release the most powerful snail god from its interdimensional binds so it may once again reign terror and destruction upon this mortal realm. The reason for the ritual of the Fully Sexual Snail Goddess and the spoon men was because this most powerful Snail God was believed to be both snail AND spoon. They called it ”Spoonthulu”. I don’t know what the final ritual consists of, and since we are standing here today we know it has never been performed, but I am not the only one in this town who knows these secrets. As I said there are some spoons in town descended from the very spoons I have told you about…” With that, Harry went quiet. I looked at the clock on the dash, but I couldn’t make out the numbers, everything had gone squiggly. The sun appeared to be rising… but I couldn’t have been in the car for more than a couple of hours. By the time we got back to The Great Northspoon it was 11AM Sunday. I had been with Jinh and Harry for over 24 hours. I felt like I had seen everything that Harry told me, as if I had been there, but the memories were fading fast, the way a dream slips out of your grasp as you wake up. I got to my room and faded into a deep, deep sleep. Evil Bob fucked around with this message at 22:49 on Sep 22, 2020
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Sep 22, 2020 21:24
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When I woke up the next day my head was clear and focused. I phoned Nina the Brave and I apologized for missing our meeting with the Sheriff, and being out of contact for the better part of 36 hours. She asked me to meet her at the Sheriffs station in 2 hours after she finished rescuing some hikers that were being terrorized by a massive bear on the outskirts of town. I headed to a local eatery, The Sawmill Diner, And ordered a cup of coffee and two donuts; one glazed ring, one maple bar, while waiting to meet Nina. While enjoying my meal a spoon woman by the name of Glenda the Good Spoon approached me cautiously. "Hello Evil Bob, I have heard that your investigation into the happenings of the town of Spoonville have taken a turn into territories less explored. It does not matter who I have heard this from." She briefly recanted some of the information that Harry had told me. Had he told me? It felt more like an experience than a conversation. "Things have been started that cannot be stopped. As you well know by now there are devoted descendants of the ancient spoon tribes still here in Spoonville." I nodded. "You must look towards the northeast, there are some of your yet unmet cohorts on their way to a place of worship of the ancient spoons. It is there that you will find the answers to questions that you cannot yet even comprehend." With that she left me to my donuts and coffee, which were hella good. When Nina and I both arrived at the sheriffs station I noticed she had a pretty sizable claw mark on her handle. "Nina, what happened?" I said taken back at her casual demeanor. "oh you know how giant bears can be. I figured there's a first aid kit here at the station anyway." Brave as always, Nina, I thought to myself. Sheriff Spoonman (Frank) greeted us and escorted us to the conference room where there was french pressed coffee and Local berries waiting for us, the types of which I had never had before. Unique strains of raspberry and blackberry type fruit. The Sheriff gave us the latest information on his investigation into the girl spoon wrapped in plastic. They had apprehended a suspect. The suspect was her community college boyfriend, Michael. "The crazy bastard of a spoon was found walking the streets, rambling. Going on about snails and spoons and the bond they share? Either way, he told us that he was the one who killed the girl down by the river. I can take you to see him if you like. Fair warning though, he's just been sitting quietly muttering the same thing over and over to himself since he was locked up." We entered the jail in the back of the sheriffs station and immediately the young man met my gaze, but that was all. I walked slowly toward him as he watched me like a hawk and continued muttering to himself. "Michael, My name is Evil Bob. I would like to ask you a few questions." With that, he stood and turned to me and began speaking louder but I had no idea what he was saying. It sounded like what the girl in the hospital had been saying "Sheriff, do you have any idea what he is saying?" I asked. "Actually yes," the sheriff replied. "A Community College professor, and local hardcore punk dude named Riot came by two days ago." Everyone in this town seemed to know each other, I thought. "He asked if he could speak to the girl, and said he might be able to help. Since he is intimately familiar with the mountains around here." The sheriff finished. "I met Riot at the hospital while interviewing the girl" I told him. "Did he discover anything new about what they are saying?" "He did. This is what he translated: snail with mammary gland, this snail is almost a mammal you world, at the slightest touch the snail squirts something milky, The mucus can, however, be collected and become cream for both soul and body. Snail milk, high culture. The refrigerator's oblivion wall Snail milk, a last, low-pitched scream." The young man in the cell started laughing and finally left my gaze. I asked the Sheriff if he had any idea where Riot was now. "Yes actually, he told me that he and his friends were going to be doing an exploratory trip up into the mountains. That he would keep a googly eye out for any clues to the the girl spoon from the train tracks while they were out there. Out northeast of town in the Hills. Theres only one road goin as far as they were." "One last thing Sheriff," I asked "Do you have any idea what Riot's party is actually looking for out there." The Sheriff shrugged, "Not a clue, but he did have a strange looking book in his hands. Looked old to me, and far too large to be practical." After chatting with the sheriff a bit longer, and enjoying a few more of those so very delicious berries, Nina and I prepared to leave the station. "Nina, are you up for a backpacking trip?" I asked. To Nina the Brave, the mark from the bear was just a scratch. "I'm always ready to pack some gear and hit the wilderness. It's different out there, you know? Primal." With that we parted ways to gather all of the gear we would need for a trip into the hills. The plan being to meet the next morning at 5:00AM to get on the road and hit the trail as the sun was rising. We had to gain some ground and catch up to Riot. Evil Bob fucked around with this message at 16:09 on Sep 27, 2020
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Sep 27, 2020 02:26
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Evil Bob posted:When I woke up the next day my head was clear and focused.
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Sep 27, 2020 02:30
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Sep 27, 2020 08:07
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Funny you should mention Sawmill Diner. Glenjimen once worked there and they have a secret menu that the waiters and waitresses won't even acknowledge unless they know you work there (or unless they like you). Two words: breakfast stout better than pancakes it's why Benjamin always buys him breakfast.
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Sep 27, 2020 08:13
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I never truly lived until I died in Spoonville |
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Sep 27, 2020 22:15
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GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:I never truly lived until I died in Spoonville 
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Sep 28, 2020 01:44
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That evening after getting a full set of gear together at the local sporting goods outlet, I decided to swing by a watering hole on the North end of town. A place by the name of The Cutlery Clubhouse. I sat down at the bar to get a lay of the land and order myself a beer. This bar had been on my radar since I arrived in town looking for clues to the case of the poor spoon that was found by the river. And I think it still warranted stopping by to have a look before backpacking into the woods towards who knows what after Riot and his friends. Immediately my gaze was drawn toward a group of local spoons who were occupying a booth in the back corner. Several well dressed spoons were sitting together having a hushed conversation. "Whats with the fancy group back there?" I asked the bartender. The bartender gave me a puzzled look. "You don't know Sir Quentin Boggles the forth?" He continued "Oh yeah, you're that FBI agent aint ya?" "I am. Boggles," I said "they're an old family with deep roots here in Spoonville isn't that right? Among those who settled the area originally?" "Mmhmm." The bartender said and went about his business. The beer I ordered was drat good. I kept an eye on the group and soon enough they all stood up and said good bye to each other as they walked out the door. There was no telling what they were talking about, but from a distance and the heady atmosphere of the bar it looked like conspiracy. My attention was then drawn to a group of just out of high school spoons. I eavesdropped on their conversation. "Ladlefest was really crazy this year, though. Didn't you guys think there was a real electricity to it? I mean, I saw some crazy stuff out there. I know we were all seeing things with a little bit of chemical assistance. But I'm telling you, I saw shapes in the sky moving, lurking almost like they were alive. I haven't really been able to shake it." The boy spoon wearing a Letterman jacket finished. Another spoon chimed in. "Yeah whatever man, I met this cool rear end spoon who was telling me about a party coming up in the mountains. He said its a dope ladlefest decompression party. A much smaller event, but it sounds like all the party veterans go. What do you think? Suzie Suze?" A real stylish girl spoon who I gathered was Suzie picked up the conversation. "I think Cool Kyle's got the right idea. I definitely could use a little decompression from ladle fest.” These spoons really love to party. It reminded me of the things that Harry and Jinh had told me when I was in their car. I wonder what truly awaits us out there to the north east. Riot has to be close to something. But I am increasingly concerned that we will face real danger. I only hope that I can catch up to Riot in time. I knew I needed to head back to the hotel and get a good nights sleep before setting out on our backpacking trip tomorrow, but I decided to have one more round before leaving the bar. As I sipped on my beer I let the dreamy sounds of the band take me away... Evil Bob fucked around with this message at 16:55 on Oct 4, 2020
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Oct 4, 2020 06:29
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Evil Bob posted:As I sipped on my beer I let the dreamy sounds of the band take me away... 
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Oct 4, 2020 06:42
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Be careful Riot, oh god
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Oct 5, 2020 09:33
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The next morning Nina and I met at the Sawmill diner to have a hearty breakfast before embarking into the unknown to the North East. As we ate our breakfast and sipped on our silky smooth coffee - just hot enough that it barely stings to sip - we went over what we knew, and where we were headed. As far as what awaited us when we got there, we each left that up to our own imagination. As ever, Nina did not flinch in the face of danger. "Whatever we find when we get there, its never met Nina the Brave before. I've packed a crossbow with bolts dipped in oil, hexed by spells past down generation after generation of spoon." Nina continued, "I've always known that there would come a day when my bravery would be put to the test. That is why I have never turned away from a just cause." I could always depend on Nina, her attitude and unbreakable spirit would be a gift as we chased after Riot through the mountains. We poured over the maps a couple more times. I related to Nina what Glenda the Goodspoon had told me. "Ancient spoon tribes, still here in spoonville." I said to myself. Nina spoke to me in a hushed voice. "What she told you is true, there are many tribes in the area. Many of them hold beliefs about the snail gods. Some beliefs are even, apocalyptic. But we still have a chance to stop them. We just need to catch up to Riot, that punk mother fucker just took off instead of getting the crew together you know? Anyway, I'm sure he's got the key." With that we each ordered a donut and a thermos of coffee to go and headed out to the north east, on the only road that goes as far as we were headed.
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Oct 10, 2020 07:52
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Oct 10, 2020 09:30
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It had been hours since we left the paved road and it was reaching mid day. Deeper into the forest we had traveled, and had gained significant elevation driving up through the hills. Finally we reached what was clearly the end of the road. It dead ended into a hillside thickly over grown with ferns and trees. "Look over there!" Nina pointed to a pathway into the hillside recently uncovered and hacked open. She screamed "Riot!" but there was no response. We followed the narrow pathway into the hillside. It was clear above and as we made our way through the ground under us became paved with large, heavily weathered stones. Not long after the pathway began to widen and the overgrowth receded. As the path cleared we found ourselves looking up a stone paved path to a huge gate into the mountainside in the distance. Nina sprinted ahead "I can hear something ahead! Riot!" As we reached the gate there was a boom of drums in the distance. "Oh no" Nina said. "I hope we aren't already too late. Do you think they have Riot and his gang?" "I hope not." I told her. Nina seemed to know a lot more than she had let on throughout my time here in Spoonville. But she had never let me down. She has been a paragon of bravery and nobility since I met her. "You've got the lead." I told her, feeling lucky to have her on my side. The gate was not in great condition, but the engravings on it were clear. Snails, Humans, Tits, Weed. Nina led the way through a door in the gate which had been blocked open by whoever had been through here before us. We entered into a huge hallway, and on the walls there were more paintings. "Ancient spoon cave art." Nina said quietly. These paintings depicted the elements of the gate in far greater detail. There were cave paintings of spoons and snails engaged in different ceremonies. The creation of the psychedelic concoction. Huge crowds of spoon all smoking weed, enveloping the whole mountain in a cloud of smoke. Spoons crawling low, way low to the ground. Antlike. We heard voices in the distance, and as we neared crossing in the cave we could hear Riot! Riot and Tiny Tim were huddled together looking over a weathered tome. "Riot thank god we found you! Where are we? What is this?" I asked. "Evil Bob, Nina, I'm sorry I left on such short notice. I am afraid we do not have much time." Riot continued to tell us about his discovery of this tome that he and his gang had been searching for years. "This is an ancient manuscript from the original spoons that inhabited this land. The rituals are bizarre, extreme, apocalyptic. It also shows the alignments of celestial bodies, and I believe that the goal was to perform these rituals only when the stars are just in their correct positions." Riot continued "The spoons believed that they were trying to open a gate to another world. They want to bring forth their god." "The stars are in position tonight." He said "It has been over 500 years since the last time that the conditions were right for their final ritual. To bring forth Spoonthulu." Tiny Tim chimed in, "WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE, SPOONTHULU IS COMING AND IS GOING TO DESTROY EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING!" Holy poo poo this guy was intense. "Spoons! Slug like tentacles with spoons at the ends! A giant shell! A horrific maw underneath!" "Jeez Tiny Tim we get it. You're freaking everyone out man." I had to tell him. Being realistic about what we are going to face is one thing, but it doesn't help to be hysterical. "My bad, this is just very intense." He lit a cigarette and pulled out his butterfly knife to do tricks with it to calm himself down. "We have to stop them!" Said Nina. "She's right," I said. "It's up to us now. Riot what the hell do we need to do to stop this?" "I think our only chance is to disrupt the ceremony before its completion. From what I've read in this book these ceremonies required high levels of intoxication from its participants, but especially for the..." Riot trailed off. "The sacrifice" I finished for him. "Yes how did you know that?" He asked. "I spent some time with Harry and Jinh. They showed me things," I told them "rituals. I don't have time to try to explain how, but I have an idea of what is going to happen here. We need to stop them before the sacrifice is complete." "Yes," Riot continued "The ritual takes time, and throughout the ritual the veil between our world and theirs will thin. We just need to keep them from getting through the whole thing. We need to find the spoon meant for sacrifice and save them. Tonight's Ceremony has to have taken generations to realize. There is still time, but I believe that these sycophantic spoons will stop at nothing to bring forth their god." Just then a spoon jumped out from the shadows behind Nina and knocked her out and as I saw it happen everything went black.
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Oct 10, 2020 21:52
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Oct 10, 2020 22:05
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oh the suspense!
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Oct 11, 2020 23:58
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I awoke with a sharp pain in the back of my head and my hands tied. Looking around I could see Nina, Riot, and Tiny Tim with me in the corner of a room. Each of them had their hands bound as well. I nudged Nina with my foot. She came to and took in her surroundings, eyes narrowing. "Hey Nina," I whispered "Nudge Riot and Tim if you can." Just then I heard voices coming from behind the door leading out of the room. Three spoons walked in. "Lookie what we have here boys!" The one with a duck on his face said. "I'm not a boy, how many times do I have to tell you to stop referring to us as 'boys." Snapped the little green one wearing bunny ears. Nina groaned audibly. "The Do Crime Gang, of course you would be wrapped up in this" "Hey watch your mouth! We've got orders to not let anyone interrupt whatever is going to happen out there. Now shut your mouths and listen close." This big fella with the googly eyes shouted at us "You're all going to sit back nice and quiet while I keep an eye on you and these two go report back to the boss." Nina snorted. "Like hell we will." "Hmph" He snorted. Duckface and Rabbit Ears left the room, and Googly Eyes opened a book and started reading. A cool gust hit us as they opened the door leading out of the room and it was clear that it had become dark outside. What time was it? We had lost valuable time being captured. Outside we could hear the sound of pounding drums and chanting. Riot looked at me and then down at his watch. Time was running out. I noticed Tiny Tim Fidgeting and caught a glint of something in his hands. I could see that he was working a very small blade back and forth against his binds. They must have missed it when searching us. Googly eyes wasn't paying us much attention. I remember reading about The Do Crime Gang at the library. They had gotten locked up recently, and many times before that as well. Busy as they may be, it appeared that they lacked some of the skills to get the job done right. Just then I heard the "Snick!" of a lighter and looked over at Tiny Tim to see him toss a smoke bomb towards Googly Eyes. "What the hell!" He barely saw it coming, it burst into a thick cloud of smoke in mid air right in front of his face. Nina yelled "NyahhHh!" and i heard a thunk followed by the fall of a spoon to the floor. Moments later I felt my hands being cut loose and heard Riot get up to his handle. "The Do Crime Gang, I've never met them before" Tiny Tim said "but I'd say they are living up to their reputation. Come on gang, we need to get moving." We left the room we had been held in, leaving Googly eyes with his hands and feet bound. Once we exited the room the music was much louder. Drums were booming, there was chanting. Everything was coalescing into one massive feeling, i was riding the wave. "Do you all feel that?" I asked. Tiny Tim responded matter of factually. "The drugs?" Nina looked at Tiny Tim "What the hell do you mean 'The drugs?" Tiny Tim responded. "For the past fifteen minutes or so I've had the odd feeling that I am coming up on something, and it is starting to hit. I think we may have been given drugs some how." Riot shook his head "So that's what that feeling is. Undoubtedly they fed us some of their psychedelic sacrament in our blacked out states when we were captured. Those motherfuckers." Punk and Academic as always Riot opened the book and and flipped hurriedly through. Tiny Tim pulled out his butterfly knife and chuckled "Seriously though guys, we don't even know how strong this stuff is. Lets keep our eye on the prize. Whatever happens we do not let this ritual be completed. No matter what you see, remember, the will of these spoons can not come to pass." We came out of the hallway onto a curved portico, we were at the top of an ancient amphitheater built into the peak of the mountain. All of us were stunned by the sheer majesty of the view in front of us. There was a shimmer to every point of light and the view appeared endless. As far as the eye could see were mountains below. And above the stars, flickering and several points of light so much brighter than the others. "Do you see that up above?" I asked. "Those stars that appear to be pulsating?" "Yes," Riot said, "Those are the stars whose alignment is critical to this ritual. Only while they remain in a certain alignment is the ritual able to see completion." A ways below we saw the source of the comotion we had been hearing. On the floor of the stadium a group of spoons were encircling a an effigy of a snail. Surrounding them several spoons beat drums of war. They were chanting: "Snail milk, a last, low-pitched scream!" Evil Bob fucked around with this message at 08:27 on Oct 18, 2020
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Oct 18, 2020 08:23
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unwanted administration of drugs... these cultists are not very byob collar 'em, evil bob!
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Oct 18, 2020 20:24
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Of course, the Do Crime gang is behind it all!  
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Oct 18, 2020 21:12
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is it too late to make a spoony
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Oct 26, 2020 16:00
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hi, I'm intensely racist against spoons but my hr manager forced me to come here as part of some froofy bullshit sensitivity course after i screamed some (highly justified) racially charged stuff at a spoon colleague. looking forward to befriending a spoon and mending my ways and then writing my experiences into a prime time inspiring tearjerker TV script that wins a huge amount of awards |
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Oct 26, 2020 16:24
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sk posted:is it too late to make a spoony  Tis never too late my friend! You've got Penelope and Gary, the Twinkletoe twins. Penelope and Gary are excellent tap dancers, are okay at contemporary, but pretty awful at jazz ballet all things considered. You better go shine your dancing shoes!
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Oct 26, 2020 21:20
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Gluten Free Dad posted:hi, I'm intensely racist against spoons but my hr manager forced me to come here as part of some froofy bullshit sensitivity course after i screamed some (highly justified) racially charged stuff at a spoon colleague. looking forward to befriending a spoon and mending my ways and then writing my experiences into a prime time inspiring tearjerker TV script that wins a huge amount of awards  You've got Panny, an Annie Lennox impersonator working the Spoonville dive bar circuit. I think it's perfect because she certainly won't tolerate any of your nonsense Mr Dad! You better know all the words to Here Comes The Rain Again, or you better learn 'em quick smart!
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Oct 26, 2020 21:25
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