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projecthalaxy
Dec 27, 2008

Yes hello it is I Kurt's Secret Son


Tag team wrestling is, to many people, the best form of pro wrestling. Teams of two, working as one to succeed against impossible odds. Deathmatch wrestling is, to many of the same and different people, the best form of pro wrestling. A wild brawl with weapons, doing anything to defeat your opponent with whatever tools are available. What if I told you we could combine the two? What if I told you that we could combine two of the biggest sports entertainment concepts into one beautiful whole? Pro wrestling, the fake fighting we all love (or don't, i don't know your whole scene), and the Hunger Games, the thing where they make kids kill each other in a forest. That is the goal of the first ever Hunger Games Match, where wrestlers and wrestling personalities form teams of two and battle to see who will survive, as determined by a random simulation.

Want to participate? Here's what I need from you.
1. Pick two wrestlers (or managers, commentators, etc), current, past, or future (?). They can be an established team, two favorites, whatever you like.
2. A photo of each entrant. This will eventually be shrunk down to a 90x90 square, so keep that in mind.
3. A team name, whatever you like.

I will take 8-16 teams, depending on interest, and run them through the Hunger Games Simulator at https://simublast.com/hunger-games-simula to see what happens. If we get a lot of interest, we can run multiple seasons.

projecthalaxy fucked around with this message at 04:32 on Sep 6, 2020

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Junpei Hyde
Mar 15, 2013


Never believe in lies





Entering 2 Cool, Scotty 2 Hotty and Grand Master Sexay



Senerio
Oct 19, 2009

Ooh! Are we messing with Adora?



Welcome the greatest Tag Team in the world:
Saints Roll (version 2.0)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kP97Mbw9ozA#t=277s

Roll


and

Jeanne d'Arc (Alter)

NienNunb
Feb 15, 2012

still a threat



The Holy Boyz:

Reverend D-Von



Deacon Batista

NienNunb fucked around with this message at 03:45 on Sep 6, 2020

Cavauro
Jan 9, 2008



Ray Fenix, Penta el Zero M

The Lucha Bros

Rarity
Oct 21, 2010

Excuse me, I'd like to
speak to the moderator




I present to you the hottest new team in professional wrestling, Can't Wrestle, Won't Wrestle



LULUPENCIL



and ORANGE CASSIDY

yea ok
Jul 27, 2006





The rear end in a top hat Brothers

JOHN CENA
Oct 20, 2006






fredy cruguar and leather face

SalTheBard
Jan 26, 2005


I forgot to post my food for USPOL Thanksgiving but that's okay too!




Fallen Rib

Master Wato -




Rush



Team Oh Wato Rush

Codependent Poster
Oct 20, 2003




The Boss Sasha Banks



and her best friend, Bayley!

Armitage
Aug 16, 2005

"Mathman's not here." "Oh? Where is he?" "He's in the Mathroom."


I have a big surprise for this thread. Gonna need to call a lot of cars for this duo

The Big Daddies

The Original Big Daddy



Big Daddy V

Xerzes
May 16, 2012




The Lumberjacks

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?


I am picking Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby Heenan



Team Name: Heenan and the Humanoid

J-Ro
Jul 26, 2005

Child Of The Revolution



https://twitter.com/KiraRi_1104/sta...203988327682049

Emi Sakura & Mei Suruga, the Apple Queens.

Edit: oops, separate pics for both:


J-Ro fucked around with this message at 04:12 on Sep 6, 2020

karmicknight
Aug 21, 2011



and
Prince Puma and Chuck Taylor

Team Chaos Pro Wrestling

Riotgrrill
Sep 3, 2004



(sweet uncle terry voice)

well heck, we dont have any knees anymore but please consider us





Team Kings of the Deathmatch

KungFu Grip
Jun 18, 2008



Luchador Super Minion


and Homero Simpson




Team Name: Amarillo Army

projecthalaxy
Dec 27, 2008

Yes hello it is I Kurt's Secret Son


And KFG will do it for Season One! Some great teams. Stand by for the game to begin, probably tomorrow. Teams will be seeded in the order they were posted, feel free to make predictions on who will win, who will die, etc.

J-Ro
Jul 26, 2005

Child Of The Revolution



Foley and Funk win only to turn on each other.

KungFu Grip
Jun 18, 2008



my team will die, god i hope they die

Xerzes
May 16, 2012




Prediction: pancakes.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?


Bobby Heenan is going to talk a big game, immediately panic and shove Gorilla at whoever they encounter first, then run the gently caress away.

Eat My Fuc
May 29, 2007

Qu'ils mangent de la baise!


drat I wanted to submit Yokuzuna and Big Daddy V, next time

Cavauro
Jan 9, 2008



all of the fake tag teams are going to advance over the real ones. i think that's good even though i submitted a real one. i got too excited, and should have posted something like misawa and damien misawadow

karmicknight
Aug 21, 2011



Cavauro posted:

all of the fake tag teams are going to advance over the real ones. i think that's good even though i submitted a real one. i got too excited, and should have posted something like misawa and damien misawadow

Good team for next time.

NienNunb
Feb 15, 2012

still a threat



Grandmaster Sexay is scum

J-Ro
Jul 26, 2005

Child Of The Revolution



Jerusalem posted:

Bobby Heenan is going to talk a big game, immediately panic and shove Gorilla at whoever they encounter first, then run the gently caress away.

at the end he'll pop-up to mention that he was behind the winning team from the very start.

Riotgrrill
Sep 3, 2004



J-Ro posted:

Foley and Funk win only to turn on each other.

*Funk taps temple to work the crowd*

yea ok
Jul 27, 2006



if the rear end in a top hat brothers lose it's rigged

KungFu Grip
Jun 18, 2008



my team is a real tag team ok

SalTheBard
Jan 26, 2005


I forgot to post my food for USPOL Thanksgiving but that's okay too!




Fallen Rib

Originally I had Wato and Road Warrior Hawk, but then I thought Wato and Rush would be way funnier.

NienNunb
Feb 15, 2012

still a threat



For anyone who came late my original team was "The Pride Of Smackdown '04", Charlie Haas and Rico

frankenfreak
Feb 16, 2007

Almanya ÷nde!
Bir başka hedef!
Sonsuz şef L÷w išin zafer!




Armitage posted:

The Big Daddies

The Original Big Daddy

Big Daddy V
Great, now I'm stuck wondering what happened to Big Daddies II-IV.

projecthalaxy
Dec 27, 2008

Yes hello it is I Kurt's Secret Son


(editor note: changed site that I am simulating from, which is why the headshots are now circles instead of squares.)

The beginning of the first ever Hunger Games match was widely celebrated, and also widely criticized. There were some who said, "isn't it unbelievably unethical to send 32 people off into a carefully constructed outdoor arena, just to kill and die for some sick entertainment?" came the cry from the critics. "Shut up marks, never should have been broken into this business" came the reply from the supporters. Nonetheless, the 32 people HAD been sent off, so now it was time to begin. Before everyone spread out to find their strategy, the whole scene began with the Bloodbath, as the teams were set loose to fend for meager supplies and get some early action going. And action is just what they would provide. The bell sounds. Let's get weird.


While Lulupencil may not have the most wrestling skill of anyone in the competition, what she does have in spades is drive, focus, and heart. The very same heart that she stopped in the chest of Lumberjack Eric, impaling him on a giant pencil that seemed like it was placed there just for her. Across the ring fans were able to once again, thanks to the magic of time travel, to hear Gorilla Monsoon say "Will you stop?" What he wanted Brian Christopher to stop, apparently, is being a contestant on this show or indeed this mortal coil! He got his wish. While the explosive power of the 500 pound behemoth Big Daddy V is never in question, he apparently needed a few more explosives. Who knows what ends they will be deployed for. Meanwhile, the chain of Deacon Batista's collection box found its way around a new neck, and in a less helpful way.


Whenever Sasha Banks steps into a ring, you know IIIIIIT'S BOSS TIME. The Hardcore Legend, it seems, was not able to deal with Boss Time, or more relevantly, the Boss Scimitar. Scotty 2 Hotty is always ready to turn it up. What he chose to turn up, in this case, was the heat, as he blasted Orange Cassidy with a flamethrower. While one might expect Fredy to engage in a little mayhem, it seems he is taking his time, arming himself and disappearing into the woods. The original Big Daddy tries to follow him, but is suddenly interrupted by a large kaboom.


For people who purport to be men of the cloth, The Holy Boyz seem interested in taking care of business. "D'oh!", Homero was able to remark, before he slumped to the ground. The Role Model seemed like she had had quite enough of the Weasel's remarks quite early in the competition, as she simply kicked his head right off into a nearby camera. Some people are less interested in either gaining supplies from the center of the ring or winnowing down the field, as Roll hightails it immediately. I suppose a career fighting powerful Robot Masters makes you cautious. Emi Sakura, however, is a leader. Picking up a clear riot shield, she keeps it between herself and the action and instructs Mei to similarly arm herself.


Seeing that his partner had already snagged an offensive weapon, Leatherface imitated Emi and armored up. One would think that the surviving Lumberjack would be at home in the woods of the battle zone, as he calmly grabs a pack and heads for the treeline. Chuckie T sprints for one of the weapon caches, and finds himself face to face with a Lucha Brother! They agree to a brief truce, arm, and separate. No one can guess what nefarious actions Matt has planned with his sword and rope, but I think we can agree it's bad.


If there's one thing we know about Prince Puma, it's that he's happy to be here. He decides to celebrate his new opportunity with a little bit of the bubbly! Also a box cutter. Master Wato, a master of all known martial arts, figures he can make better use of the kunai than the average contestant, and avails himself of five. Following Sakura's plan, Mei Suruga snags an offensive weapon, a big spiked ball on a stick. If you squint, it looks like an apple! How thematic. Much like his rear end in a top hat brother, Nick steals supplies and flees.


While Jeanne may not have the Eastern training of a Master Wato, she knows her way around a blade. She avails herself of the other pack of kunai. Rush also has a flair for symmetry, it seems, taking the mace at 3 o'clock as Mei Suruga grabs the one at 9 o'clock in the circle of equipment. Cactus Jack, seeing that his partner and mentor has just been completely eviscerated by Sasha Banks, grabs a pike and lopes off after the Golden Role Models, but one could wonder if the numbers game will catch up to him. Finally, Super Minion snags the last equipment cache, which is just a big bundle of dynamite, which we can all agree Minions should probably have.


And that, fellow ringsport fanatics, is our first episode. No teams have been eliminated, though half of the teams now find themselves at a headcount disadvantage.

Riotgrrill
Sep 3, 2004



Fuckin knew I should have went with Chainsaw Charlie

yea ok
Jul 27, 2006



hahahaha fuckin yes man

yea ok
Jul 27, 2006



Reverend D-Von has killed Homero Simpson

Codependent Poster
Oct 20, 2003




Bayley and Sasha Banks are clearing out the old men. Old people: your time is up!

Cavauro
Jan 9, 2008



ah poo poo!

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Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?


Bayley why!?!

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