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KungFu Grip
Jun 18, 2008



yea ok posted:

Reverend D-Von has killed Homero Simpson

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NienNunb
Feb 15, 2012

still a threat



yea ok posted:

Reverend D-Von has killed Homero Simpson



Someone please make fanart of the Holy Boyz' murder spree. I'm crying laughing at all of this.

NienNunb
Feb 15, 2012

still a threat



Riotgrrill
Sep 3, 2004



*Funk tries to tap his head*

*The Japanese audience still makes that particular sound of amazement anyway.*

Golden Bee
Dec 24, 2009

I came here to chew bubblegum and quote 'They Live', and I'm... at an impasse.


A lot of eliminations, but no chambers.

Xerzes
May 16, 2012




I admit I did not expect to need to properly identify Big John Nord and Scott "Flapjack" Norton. Pierre and Eric is good too.

Rarity
Oct 21, 2010

Excuse me, I'd like to
speak to the moderator




Orange, you died as you lived

Cavauro
Jan 9, 2008



cero actividad cerebral

frankenfreak
Feb 16, 2007

Almanya ÷nde!
Bir başka hedef!
Sonsuz şef L÷w išin zafer!




Riotgrrill posted:

*Funk tries to tap his head*

*The Japanese audience still makes that particular sound of amazement anyway.*
From his neck not only gushes a constant stream of blood but also a increasingly faint voice: Forever! Forever! Forever! Forever! Forever Forever! Forever! Forever! Forever! Forever!

JOHN CENA
Oct 20, 2006


district 666 will win

Junpei Hyde
Mar 15, 2013


Never believe in lies





I'm sorry orange

Armitage
Aug 16, 2005

"Mathman's not here." "Oh? Where is he?" "He's in the Mathroom."


Dang it Big Daddy, noooooo

projecthalaxy
Dec 27, 2008

Yes hello it is I Kurt's Secret Son


Xerzes posted:

I admit I did not expect to need to properly identify Big John Nord and Scott "Flapjack" Norton. Pierre and Eric is good too.

Yeah sorry about that. I'm not familiar with the Lumberjacks and the first several results were for Eric and Pierre, managed by Lou Albano.

I also accidentally forgot to change Batista's gender, so he's marked as female. Unfortunately I can't fix either problem without restarting the simulation. Sloppy shop imo.

Next update will be later today, the first day out in the field.

SalTheBard
Jan 26, 2005


I forgot to post my food for USPOL Thanksgiving but that's okay too!




Fallen Rib

I'm happy with Wato and Rush so far

projecthalaxy
Dec 27, 2008

Yes hello it is I Kurt's Secret Son


After the chaos at the beginning, there is quiet in the field for a couple of hours. Then, as Day 1 draws to a close, some people begin to make their moves. Who will succeed? Who will perish? Let's find out.


After losing his ally Homero Simpson, Super Minion is all in a frazzle. He manages to secure a rocky overhang to use as a shelter, storing his dynamite, some food, and so forth, but he's just one Minion. He had to abandon his camp to find water, and that is when the cruel warlord, Master Wato, led his band of erstwhile allies upon the camp and stole everything. How mean is this Master Wato? Emi Sakura knows that this is not her proper place, that she should be off building the future of the business back in Japan. But for now, she must endure, and she must keep Mei safe. Speaking of safe, Bayley isn't, as she was too busy yelling about how dead Bobby Heenan was to notice a ravine suddenly appearing. Is this the Brain's vengeance? Prince Puma is now all jazzed up on champagne and thinks he's a lumberjack. He cuts down a tree and drinks from a river.


After trying her hand at writing and pro wrestling, it appears that Lulupencil has found her true calling: impaling. She comes across Roll and Big Daddy V having an argument over a supply of wild carrots. Thinking quickly, she seizes the opportunity and tries to spear Big Daddy V with her giant pencil, but he dodges and Roll takes the blow instead. Sadly, there are no cars to be called, no E-Tanks available. Nick, the perfidious Buck, is thinking about how he can exploit people to enrich himself and falls straight into the same pit that Bayley discovered. We can all agree he deserved it. Lumberjack Pierre takes advantage of the tools and supplies he obtained earlier, and carves himself a spear, topping it with a vicious looking nail. Now each alone, Fenix and Matt put their feud aside to victimize the weak.


The action of the Hunger Games Match is shown by a series of observation posts, located high up in the trees. Leatherface gets the idea that perhaps these posts are stocked with extra supplies, weapons, maybe even a way out! He figures its worth a try, but finds the risk was just a bit too great. Jeanne, who had split up with Roll to search for supplies, continues walking the banks of the river in search of fish, unaware of the tragedy that awaits her at her camp. She is startled by the sudden appearance, around the bend, of a large pudgy gentleman, who drinks greedily.


Rush also found a ravine, but instead of falling in, he quickly covered it in leaves and thin branches, creating a pitfall trap for his enemies. This trap would prove useful, as the Deacon Batista, who had formed a reconnaissance party with Sasha Banks and Mei Suruga, was demonstrating how to survive in the wild (he did not know how to survive in the wild, but wanted to appear cool). He was in the middle of telling them that one should always mind their footing when he, walking backwards and making broad gestures, fell into a large pit. They learned the lesson well. Across the field, Scotty 2 Hotty decided to eat some delicious honey. This did not work out well for him, as the Kentucky Gentleman watched on impassively. This means that TOO COOL HAVE BEEN ELIMINATED FIRST


As night falls on the first day, the scoreboard has evolved. Our first team is defeated, and a majority of the others are halfway there. As the chill sets in and visibility drops, we will find out next time what happens before sunrise.

Editors notes: pls do not probate me for the mod team dying first and also its very funny to me that Lulupencil is the kill leader.

Junpei Hyde
Mar 15, 2013


Never believe in lies





I did not, in fact, look fly today

projecthalaxy
Dec 27, 2008

Yes hello it is I Kurt's Secret Son


Junpei Hyde posted:

I did not, in fact, look fly today

Nope. You looked bee today. that was the problem.

Rarity
Oct 21, 2010

Excuse me, I'd like to
speak to the moderator




projecthalaxy posted:

Lulupencil is the kill leader.

*wipes tear from eye*

Codependent Poster
Oct 20, 2003




I see this was the Bayley that was first called up to the WWE roster as a geek, and not current Bayley.

Armitage
Aug 16, 2005

"Mathman's not here." "Oh? Where is he?" "He's in the Mathroom."


next time lulupencil thinks about killing Big Daddy V, she will be in for a big surprise!

projecthalaxy
Dec 27, 2008

Yes hello it is I Kurt's Secret Son


The part I most want to see is how Warlord Master Wato convinced Gorilla, D-Von, and Fredi to be in his gang.

J-Ro
Jul 26, 2005

Child Of The Revolution



more like Byetista lmao

The Gatoh Move representatives still all being very much alive is very good.

NienNunb
Feb 15, 2012

still a threat



Deacon Bautista has fallen

karmicknight
Aug 21, 2011



Chaos Pro is going for the pacifist victory and somehow it hasn't fallen apart yet.

Cavauro
Jan 9, 2008



rey rear end in a top hat

SalTheBard
Jan 26, 2005


I forgot to post my food for USPOL Thanksgiving but that's okay too!




Fallen Rib

projecthalaxy posted:

The part I most want to see is how Warlord Master Wato convinced Gorilla, D-Von, and Fredi to be in his gang.

I mean who wouldn't want to team up with the Grand Master?

sk
Dec 10, 2005

(イヤァオ!)


Grimey Drawer

J-Ro posted:

more like Byetista lmao

he fell for miles inside that pit of danger

projecthalaxy
Dec 27, 2008

Yes hello it is I Kurt's Secret Son


The night is dark and full of terrors. Few places does this old adage hold as true as in the fields and forests of the Hunger Games Match, which is stretching towards the end of its first night. Many fans have found stories to follow in the last two episodes, favorites to boo and cheer. This is the goal of all wrestling, but even more so here in the bizarre interdimensional limbo that allows Lulupencil and Gorilla Monsoon to knife fight on Pay-Per-View. Let's see what happened.


Poor Mei Suruga was just trying to get a better look at the terrain. She had been scouting with Sasha to find the best locations to camp, and had become slightly lost. She decided to get a bird's eye view, and tragedy struck. The Boss, for her part, immediately abandoned the search after the tragedy and just tried to bunker down where she was. However, the rocks by the river are always kept wet, and it will be a cold, dark night for Banks. Meanwhile, continuing to wait for Suruga's return, the Gatoh Move president is surprised to see an airdrop land right next to her camp. Inside, she finds 25 gallons of clean, filtered water and a card that simply says "From YK". The night is dark, and full of terrors. Some of these terrors, and word that her partner met a gruesome, pencilly end, have begun to work on Jeanne d'Arc, who has decided she has returned to the fields of her native France. Hopefully she is not harmed by this comforting delusion.


The airdrops continue, their flares streaking through the night. Another one finds its way to Gorilla Monsoon, who has left Master Wato's Army for the time being. In it, he finds a camp axe, a couple of jerry cans of water, and a copy of the WrestleMania 4 DVD. Could this be a clue? Some people decide to form group camps, for protection and camaraderie. Reverend D-Von, now short a Deacon, finds a new congregation who just have a whale of a time. Super Minion's luck stays about as bad as it has been. "If only I still had that dynamite...", he thinks to himself. Cactus Jack, who trusted in his almost supernatural pain tolerance to get him through the contest, has found it to fail him, and is now sawing some logs somewhere in the forest. With any luck, he's alone.


For young Rush, things are beginning to get a bit too real. When he was invited to this he thought it would be fun, an ultimate thrill. As the rain falls, and Batista's body lies broken not 30 feet from his position, he would like very much not to be here anymore. He is not the only one having a bad time. Fenix is trying to get the sleep he knows he needs, but it just won't seem to find him. Chuckie T is not a doctor, but he knows the spot on his leg shouldn't be that red, and it shouldn't be growing. Unfortunately, without medical supplies or much to trade for them, he can't do much more that keep it clean and hope. Lulupencil may have fallen in with the wrong crowd.


Only one death tonight, but it ties into a lot of developing stories. The nights, as you have seen, are not as wacky fun as the days.

NienNunb
Feb 15, 2012

still a threat



Big John Nord Lumberjack Pierre is regaling his fellow campers with stories of Dusty's Muffler

https://youtu.be/Hlwn_75NW_k

KungFu Grip
Jun 18, 2008



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AZpdWGJRd4E

NienNunb
Feb 15, 2012

still a threat



Deacon Batista was America's sweetheart. He was like a son to me. I don't know when the mourning for him will end for him but I know it's not any time soon.

J-Ro
Jul 26, 2005

Child Of The Revolution



projecthalaxy posted:

Poor Mei Suruga was just trying to get a better look at the terrain. She had been scouting with Sasha to find the best locations to camp, and had become slightly lost. She decided to get a bird's eye view, and tragedy struck.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?


Gorilla Monsoon has the super-sweet double-VHS set of Wrestlemania 4 but no VCR to play it, and even if he did, no Bobby to watch it with

frankenfreak
Feb 16, 2007

Almanya ÷nde!
Bir başka hedef!
Sonsuz şef L÷w išin zafer!




Poor Mei, thought she saw an apple up there and died.

Armitage posted:

next time lulupencil thinks about killing Big Daddy V, she will be in for a big surprise!
She'll just roll over him!

projecthalaxy
Dec 27, 2008

Yes hello it is I Kurt's Secret Son


The dawn finds a different landscape than the dusk left. A tragedy struck, supplies were dropped, Master Wato continued to have an army. Let's see what the morning brings.


As the sun rises, Gorilla has taken all the tape out of the WM4 two-VHS set and is holding it up to the light to try and watch it. Entranced by the tiny picture of Don Muraco chasing Frenchy Martin around, he almost didn't notice Sasha Banks stealing his water bottles. "WILL YOU STOP? I'M BEING PEARL HARBORED!", he bellows. "Kind of a problematic way to refer to a sneak attack, isn't it? People died.", Sasha responds offhandedly, tying the axe to her belt. "WHY ARE YOU SO SMALL? WRESTLERS ARE BIG! THAT'S THE EXPECTATION!" Sasha sighed as she drew her hatchet. HEENAN AND THE HUMANOID HAVE BEEN ELIMINATED Cactus Jack is back from his nap, and Fredi isn't happy about it, as Cactus is chasing him around with a burning branch. Finally, Jeanne has found some small lake trout and has improvised a spear to harvest them. Since its been over 24 hours since the last guaranteed meal, she should probably try pretty hard. Finally someone has taken pity on Super Minion, as John Nord splints his fingers back together and sews his mask back together. How touching.


Lulupencil has a problem. The problem is that she caught her ankle in some tree roots and now it hurts quite a lot. This will make it harder to impale more people. Rush finally locates his airdrop, his thumbprint unlocking it to reveal more jerry cans of water. Convenient timing! Prince Puma used to have a friend who was the greatest hunter ever. He tries to emulate him by hunting a squirrel. It doesn't go as well. Sadly, Prince Puma does a flip. Rey Fenix is trying to form as many alliances as possible, but he and Big Daddy V are not going to work as a team, so they split up.


The first thing Emi notices is the smell of smoke. She wakes immediately, attempting to determine the source of the danger. It looks like its across the river somewhere. Probably best to avoid it for now. Gotta stay at the camp for when Mei gets back. Elsewhere, the idiotic moron Matty Youngbucks is trying to pile grasses up, thinking they will make a gaudy California compound. Idiot. Master Wato, who is leading his army in a foraging run, accidentally stabs his hand on some raspberry thorns. He tries not to cry as he delivers a Master Wato Kick to the bush.


Opting against the spearfishing technique Jeanne is using downriver, Reverend D-Von has constructed a net using part of one of the airdrop parachutes. "Oh, my brother!", he says to the fish. "Climb into this net and you will find salvation!". Chuckie T has set up a target on a tree and is getting those reps in with the bow and throwing knives. He's getting more accurate.


We are now halfway through the kills. Who will be the last wrestler standing?

Codependent Poster
Oct 20, 2003




Sasha had to finish off Monsoon, since her best friend took care of Heenan. It was what Bayley would have wanted.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?


There is something wonderful about two best friends defeating two other best friends

At least Gorilla Monsoon died doing what he loved, peering at tiny still frames of a wrestling video-tape.

SalTheBard
Jan 26, 2005


I forgot to post my food for USPOL Thanksgiving but that's okay too!




Fallen Rib

I'm greatly concerned about Wato getting pricked getting berries :-/

Golden Bee
Dec 24, 2009

I came here to chew bubblegum and quote 'They Live', and I'm... at an impasse.


I also wanted to post Batista is down.

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Cavauro
Jan 9, 2008



ricochet is going to win

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