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projecthalaxy
Dec 27, 2008

Yes hello it is I Kurt's Secret Son


The night is dark, and full of terrors. Here come a few more. Let's get into it.


Big Daddy V, like many wrestlers, has a social media problem. He somehow snuck a phone into the arena and went live on Twitch, ranting maniacally about the Hunger Games Match, his experiences with being pulled through time and space to compete in it, sausage rolls, and things of this nature. The management of the Hunger Games Match decided that this third-party content was detrimental to their brand, and elected to "cancel him online". With a rocket launcher. THE BIG DADDIES HAVE BEEN ELIMINATED! Meanwhile, John Nord was explaining the 80s territorial system and being called by the wrong name to Master Wato, who replied with stories about being a dojo youngboy and having blue hair. They feel enriched by the experience. Super Minion continues to have a bad time. Emi Sakura went to sleep, and woke up back in the Gatoh Move HQ, Mei by her side again, her troubles over. THE APPLE QUEENS HAVE BEEN ELIMINATED!


Prince Puma, who some are predicting as the favorite to win the whole contest, finally finds his airdrop containing a unique opportunity: some water and a medallion made of Aztec gold. Who could this gift, as if from the gods, be from? Elsewhere, Lulupencil realizes the truth. Her allies, both her partner Orange and her colleagues from Gatoh Move, are not coming back to the arena. She still needs to get some rest, however. Sasha Banks was focusing on the other side of the coin, the inevitability of her victory and triumph.


Rey Fenix is all discombobulated. He's not quite sure where he is, seeing visions of an underground temple, a triangle of lethality, and the most important arena in his world. Meanwhile, much like Master Wato, Rush has found someone to talk with over the evening. Chuckie T was also trying to bond across the aisle, regaling Mr. Cruguar with Indies He Has Known, but all the stories he gets back are just "then i killed that dude in his dreams."


Jeanne has always been a little uncomfortable around large fires. They make her nervous for some reason, so despite craving the warmth, she gave it a wide berth. Which is probably a good idea, as it was Matt who built the fire, and would probably have put her in an embarrassing skit on his web show. Meanwhile, Brother D-Von takes a nap but will soon get up get up get up drop the bombshell.


The scoreboard gets redder. Only three teams are left whole! The dawn will come.

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karmicknight
Aug 21, 2011



HOW THE gently caress ARE CHUCK TAYLOR AND PRINCE PUMA BOTH STILL ALIVE

projecthalaxy
Dec 27, 2008

Yes hello it is I Kurt's Secret Son


karmicknight posted:

HOW THE gently caress ARE CHUCK TAYLOR AND PRINCE PUMA BOTH STILL ALIVE

ALL THEY DO IS HIDE AND RECEIVE ITEMS

INTROVERT BATTLE TACTICS

karmicknight
Aug 21, 2011



The pacifist victory is real.

Cavauro
Jan 9, 2008



Rey Fenix has become El Hijo Del Homero Simpson.

NienNunb
Feb 15, 2012

still a threat



Just keep muttering "Homero Simpson" and "Deacon Batista has fallen" to myself all day.

projecthalaxy
Dec 27, 2008

Yes hello it is I Kurt's Secret Son


NienNunb posted:

Just keep muttering "Homero Simpson" and "Deacon Batista has fallen" to myself all day.

Brother D-Von shot Homero Simpson with a blow dart, and Deacon Batista fell into a pit trap while trying to impress cool ladies. This is what they deserved.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?


I want Lulupencil to stumble her way to ultimate victory

J-Ro
Jul 26, 2005

Child Of The Revolution



projecthalaxy posted:

THE APPLE QUEENS HAVE BEEN ELIMINATED!

Just brutal.



Jerusalem posted:

I want Lulupencil to stumble her way to ultimate victory

Rarity
Oct 21, 2010

Excuse me, I'd like to
speak to the moderator




Jerusalem posted:

I want Lulupencil to stumble her way to ultimate victory

Can't Wrestle Won't Wrestle still in it to win it!

Golden Bee
Dec 24, 2009

I came here to chew bubblegum and quote 'They Live', and I'm... at an impasse.


Starving to death in two days is pretty lame, you better eat a big meal before the hunger games match.

yea ok
Jul 27, 2006



its not called the full and sated games!!

projecthalaxy
Dec 27, 2008

Yes hello it is I Kurt's Secret Son


Golden Bee posted:

Starving to death in two days is pretty lame, you better eat a big meal before the hunger games match.

Yeah, I agree, but unfortunately this is the system we have and the chips fall where they may. I mean i could go into the save and resurrect her but that feels somewhat wrong.

Also this is designed to simulate chronically malnourished 15 year olds so maybe the starvation event is weighted a bit too high for our adult trained athletes.

Golden Bee
Dec 24, 2009

I came here to chew bubblegum and quote 'They Live', and I'm... at an impasse.


Sorry Sakura. Another one bites the dust

projecthalaxy
Dec 27, 2008

Yes hello it is I Kurt's Secret Son


It's today! That must mean its time to check in with our steadily decreasing number of participants and see what they are all working on. Are they eating well?


In what can really only be described as "a characteristic move", Fredi Cruegar sets some remote mines at the main ford of the river then sets them off as Jeanne d'Arc and El Hijo Del Homero Simpson are trying to cross safely. Hope people are getting their drinking water from upstream of THAT little problem! THE LUCHA BROTHERS AND SAINTS ROLL HAVE BEEN ELIMINATED! What a shame. Elsewhere, Lulupencil falls victim to the same berry picking dangers as Master Wato. Please be careful when foraging, everyone. In a cave nearby, Matt the Buck finds a rarity, a hole even bigger that himself! Meanwhile, Master Wato discovers a tunnel that leads under the river. What a useful tunnel for Master Wato.


Prince Puma continues to not interact with anyone for any reason. His plan continues to evolve as he receives another item drop. Meanwhile Sasha Banks, the Legit Boss, is also the Legit Medic it appears, as she helps stitch Rush's arm back together. John Nord, who is only a lumberjack sometimes, trips over a fallen tree and scratches up his legs. Will Sasha help him as well?


Reverend D-Von, the deliverer of life and also death, receives some medication from Sign Guy Dudley's associate Painkiller Guy Dudley. Confusingly, thanks to the interdimensional weirdness, Dude Love sends Cactus Jack some water. Super Minion ponders the life of his many-nicknamed friend Chuck.


The only teams that are left whole are Oh Wato Rush and Team Chaos Pro.

Small production note: Obviously, as the field narrows, the events get smaller and smaller. Starting with tomorrows update, the updates will include both a night and the following day.

Also, if there is interest in a second season, I was thinking of applying a stipulation to the teams, Currently I have two ideas:
-Mixed Match Challenge: Each team must include a man and a woman
-Deadly Draw - Each poster selects only one wrestler, they are paired randomly into teams
If either of those sound interesting, or if you have a better idea, let me know! Thanks for reading.

NienNunb
Feb 15, 2012

still a threat



Need me that deadly draw

Senerio
Oct 19, 2009

Ooh! Are we messing with Adora?



Deadly Draw is good but I have a good team in mind for the Mixed Match Challenge as well.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?


I really like the Mixed Match Challenge idea, as well as the idea that Super Minion is just hanging out thinking abut Chuckie T.

Junpei Hyde
Mar 15, 2013


Never believe in lies





do one and then the other imo

projecthalaxy
Dec 27, 2008

Yes hello it is I Kurt's Secret Son


Some say that when the tournament ends it will just be chuck and puma gathering items on the opposite sides of the arena

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?


projecthalaxy posted:

Some say that when the tournament ends it will just be chuck and puma gathering items on the opposite sides of the arena

Puma is just happy to be there, Chuck is just collecting stuff and dumping it in a lake for fun.

karmicknight
Aug 21, 2011



look it doesn't matter how they win, so long as they rep their backyard fed while doing it.

KungFu Grip
Jun 18, 2008



Super Minion sees a lot of his dead partner Homero Simpson in Chuck Taylor

Senerio
Oct 19, 2009

Ooh! Are we messing with Adora?



Yeah I'd say start with the Mixed Match Challenge and then the Deadly Draw.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?


Chuckie T getting aid packages and requests to get into the game like this:

Codependent Poster
Oct 20, 2003




Sasha just making friends so she can inevitably betray them later.

Cavauro
Jan 9, 2008



i have already set up a team for season 2 but i suppose it's worth canning for a deadly draw

projecthalaxy
Dec 27, 2008

Yes hello it is I Kurt's Secret Son


Ill put up a strawpoll after this round ends.

Xerzes
May 16, 2012




Junpei Hyde posted:

do one and then the other imo

Cavauro
Jan 9, 2008



yes, anything and everything. i feel rich when i open this thread and look at it

projecthalaxy
Dec 27, 2008

Yes hello it is I Kurt's Secret Son


Cavauro posted:

yes, anything and everything. i feel rich when i open this thread and look at it

Thanks! I'm glad people are having fun, I'm enjoying writing it. Here's our first double shot, starting with Night 3.


Well. This is somewhat unexpected. Chuck Taylor decided to do something. What did he decide to do, you ask? Crush D-Von's head with a large airdrop case. THE HOLY BOYZ HAVE BEEN ELIMINATED! Super Minion, similarly, has had enough! He went all crazy on Cactus and hit him with a bomb. Beat him brainless. With a bomb! Super Minion! THE KINGS OF THE DEATHMATCH HAVE BEEN ELIMINATED! Meanwhile, Sasha Banks continues to act as the camp medic. What is the nature of her plan?


Possibly due to remorse or perhaps for some other reason, Cruguar decides to have a good boohoo. Rush and John Nord have combined their camps, as the noose draws tighter. Fredy is not the only one tearing up. It's been 72 hours. Tensions are high. Lulupencil takes a break, using her massive impaling pencil as a tentpole.

It is now the morning of Day 4.


Team Chaos is in chaos. Prince Puma, still somehow happy to be here, has had all his body parts sliced off by a fellow flippy guy. Chucky T seeks a new path through the deep woods so he can get new airdrops. The Boss proves she's not just a white mage, building a wrist rocket. Elsewhere, Lulu sneaks up on Super Minion with her giant impaling pencil, but he sees her, throws his bomb at her. He doesn't light it. Does he know he can? Super Minion.


Master Wato, even at this time, is trying to rebuild the Master Wato Army, sending Fredy out for food. John Nord dreams of Early career, American Wrestling Association, World Class Championship Wrestling, American Wrestling Association (1989–1991), Pacific Northwest Wrestling (1991), World Wrestling Federation (1991–1993), All Japan Pro Wrestling and International (1994,1996), World Championship Wrestling (1997–1998). Rush steals some of Prince Puma's water.


And then there were nine.

Armitage
Aug 16, 2005

"Mathman's not here." "Oh? Where is he?" "He's in the Mathroom."


I am sad at the loss of the Big Daddies, but Big Daddy V will be back in the Deadly Draw!

NienNunb
Feb 15, 2012

still a threat



Leave the memories alone

Rarity
Oct 21, 2010

Excuse me, I'd like to
speak to the moderator




Come on Lulu!

ChrisBTY
Mar 29, 2012

this glorious monument



Master Wato is somehow going to win without killing anybody.

jesus WEP
Oct 17, 2004

OM NOM NOM NOM NOM



Fun Shoe

Chuck Taylor and Lulupencil are going to form a new district called Can’t Wrestle Can’t Curse

projecthalaxy
Dec 27, 2008

Yes hello it is I Kurt's Secret Son


The night is dark and etc. etc. etc. here we go its night 4.


Wato's berry-related ouchies are really starting to hurt. He knew that Lulupencil was able to talk to that medic lady and get some medicine. But he cannot get the medicine, as his own partner has decided to find out if love can bloom on the battlefield. Answer: possibly. Elsewhere, Chuck leaves his group because they want to like, win, or whatever instead of finding hidden paths. At the same time, far away, Super Minion has had enough. He's sick of this game and wants to hang out with Homero Simpson again. In a very unusual turn of events, the dream killer does not oblige him.

The sun rises on day 5.


Much like Big Daddy V before him, Fredi explains that this is all a sham, a work, designed to amuse people on a dying web forum. Much like Big Daddy V before him, he is obliterated by smart bombs. FREDI AND LEATHERFACE HAVE BEEN ELIMINATED!. If there's one thing in this world that Chuck Taylor loves, its hidden pathways. He just craves them. He's so hidden in his pathway that he can't see the streak of black smoke coming from one of the clearings. Rush can see it though, and the wheels slowly turn in his head as he realizes what direction it's coming from. He then breaks into a full run towards the fire. Sasha Banks is sharpening a spear made of Rush's tentpole as she tosses the last of his gear into the large bonfire.


Matt constructs another camp. How many does this guy need? Who does he think he is??? Master Wato gets a picture of all his Dojo classmates, which warms his heart. After their campout last night, Lulu hopes John Nord-senpai notices her. Super Minion receives pain meds, but they do nothing for the pain in his heart.


I was not expecting Team Oh Wato Rush to run the table like this.

projecthalaxy fucked around with this message at 00:09 on Sep 12, 2020

Cavauro
Jan 9, 2008



matt rear end in a top hat all the way

yea ok
Jul 27, 2006



Top 8, Feelin great. Bay bay!!

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JOHN CENA
Oct 20, 2006


fredy..

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