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KungFu Grip
Jun 18, 2008



mexican luchador Minion Morado

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Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?


I submit the man who will break the Undertaker's streak, the fallen angel who will cleanse the WWE of sinners in the year 2008/2009.... Hade Vansen!

Lid
Feb 18, 2005

Cabana's legal advice?
I'm bourgeoisie.
I... hit the shitty
firemans carry knee.






Vade Hansen

jesus WEP
Oct 17, 2004

OM NOM NOM NOM NOM



Fun Shoe

a name that looks spoonerised no matter what way round you do it

CHaKKaWaKka
Aug 6, 2001

I've chosen my next victim. Cry tears of joy it's not you!

Surely there's 32 entrants now? If not, may I submit the winner of this next hunger game.

Biff Slamkovich



He is the Saturday Night Slam Master.

His biography according to the internet:

The son of a Russian senior bureaucrat, Biff has received special education in wrestling since he was a child.

While the game says that Kiev is in Russia, it is actually located in the former Soviet republic of Ukraine.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?


Lid posted:

Vade Hansen

Hade Vansen

Also man I rewatched his promo and it's even lamer than I remembered. Weird to think he would go on to break the Undertaker's undefeated Streak way back in 2009 though!

karmicknight
Aug 21, 2011



I'm pretty sure it's Hade Hansen.

Rarity
Oct 21, 2010

Excuse me, I'd like to
speak to the moderator




Vade Vansen

Vagabundo
Mar 20, 2007

Donncha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?
Donncha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me?


Hane Vandsen

Cavauro
Jan 9, 2008



At the time there were talks going on about WWE setting up offices in the UK and they wanted to sign a bunch of British guys. Sheamus, Drew McIntyre and Wade Barrett were all at the same try-out as me. But I'm the only Brit who got signed the first time they saw me. I was 26 and being British definitely helped with the ladies, if you know what I mean. I was out all the time... it was like being back at university! I was going to lead a gang of X-Men style mutants. Every week, I would send one of these guys after The Undertaker. After he had beaten them all, he would eventually face me at WrestleMania 25. It was loving incredible. Freddie was really excited about the idea, he'd cleared it with Stephanie McMahon and she loved it.

projecthalaxy
Dec 27, 2008

Yes hello it is I Kurt's Secret Son


I definitely thought Hade Vansen and Mordecai were like the same dude for a while. All these weird anti-Undertakers merged in my head.

one more slot remains. It will probably, based on the current trend, get filled today while I'm at work so I can do all the setup and randomizing and announce the teams tonight then probably start doing the actual updates tomorrow evening. Our roster thus far:

quote:

Friar Ferguson
Leslie Burrell
Davey rear end in a top hat
Mega Man
Saya Iida
Mecha Mummy
Naked Mideon
Shockmaster
BigNasty Bastard
Mario Mancini
M. Suzuki, Kid
Champion Pig
Inflatable Punk
Whole Suzuki-Gun
Don Valentine
Mantaur
Meiko Satomura
Tito Ortiz
Cpt. Placeholder
Final Solution
Dr. Frank
Veronica Mars
Wu-Tang Clan
Maki Itoh
El Generico
Colonel Robocop
Sami Zayn
Minion Morado
Hade Vansen
Biff Slamkovich

E: added Old Man Jenkins, double checked the rest. sorry about that.

projecthalaxy fucked around with this message at 12:35 on Sep 14, 2020

Junpei Hyde
Mar 15, 2013


Never believe in lies





I don't see old man Jenkins in there?

projecthalaxy
Dec 27, 2008

Yes hello it is I Kurt's Secret Son


Junpei Hyde posted:

I don't see old man Jenkins in there?

That's because I'm real dumb.

SalTheBard
Jan 26, 2005


I forgot to post my food for USPOL Thanksgiving but that's okay too!




Fallen Rib

projecthalaxy posted:

Groups are fine, I think it'll be funny actually, because whatever the game says happens to Suzuki-Gun or the Wu-Tang Clan is going to happen simultaneously to all of them individually in the write ups. Game says Suzuki-Gun cut their arm picking berries like Wato or Lulu last game? They all had their arms in the bush and got similar cuts.

Ohhh a gimmick of "everyone pick a stable" would've been fun.

Degeneration-X and CHAOS team up to destroy Lifeblood

ChrisBTY
Mar 29, 2012

this glorious monument



drat it I JUST missed the cutoff. I guess Beau James will have to live.
Unless there was a messup and there's still a slot left in which case I would like to nominate Beau James to die emerge triumphantly.

ChrisBTY fucked around with this message at 16:03 on Sep 14, 2020

SG Bamboo
Aug 21, 2013

I will never shake your hand.

Ever.


SalTheBard posted:

Ohhh a gimmick of "everyone pick a stable" would've been fun.

Degeneration-X and CHAOS team up to destroy Lifeblood

When this happens i've got dibs on Eruption




Look at these suave motherfuckers

projecthalaxy
Dec 27, 2008

Yes hello it is I Kurt's Secret Son


ChrisBTY posted:

drat it I JUST missed the cutoff. I guess Beau James will have to live.
Unless there was a messup and there's still a slot left in which case I would like to nominate Beau James to die emerge triumphantly.



You're in!

All right everyone! That concludes round 2 signups. The teams will be randomized (each entrant will be given a random number using Microsoft Excel's RNG, then I will sort on those numbers and pair 1 and 2, 3 and 4, etc), and announced in a few hours. The game will begin tomorrow.

Cavauro
Jan 9, 2008



i'm extremely excited

projecthalaxy
Dec 27, 2008

Yes hello it is I Kurt's Secret Son


Ladies and gentlemen, it's time. After a rigorous selection process, significant use of a time portal, and a few bags of pork rinds, it's time to meet the teams of...

LETHAL LOTTERY
These teams were selected by random draw and have not trained together, but must now depend on each other to survive!


Team 1:
First on the block it's a legend of this business. A tag-team specialist, this big man has now decided that barefoot (and bare a lot of other things) is legal! Joining him is an intrepid investigator. How the Hunger Games Match works is the biggest story of the year and there's only one pair with the skills to figure it out from the inside, Naked Mideon and Veronica Mars!

Team 2:
When these two superheavyweights team up, the other teams won't have a prayer! They are here to SHOCK the competition. I said they are here to SHOCK the competition! *thud* Anyway, it's Friar Ferguson and the Shockmaster!

Team 3:
The deeds of some men fade before they do. It takes a real artist to create something that lasts the test of time. These two men are just such artists, painting their failures on the world for decades to come. Both will be remembered, but can they be remembered as successes on the battlefield? It's Don Valentine and Hade Vansen!

Team 4:
Not everyone in the Hunger Games Match is your stereotypical competitor. If you built a forest battler from the ground up, it might not look much like either of these two, but they will try and prove all the haters wrong! It's Minion Morado and Champion Pig!


Team 5:
"Everyone's got a price", says the old saying. And when a wealthy organization like the Duchy of Clarence sends one of their employees in, they pay that price to get the best help available. The longsuffering valet needed a little insurance policy, in the form of a near-bulletproof ex-military supercop. It's Leslie Burrell and Colonel Robocop!

Team 6:
Sometimes, teams succeed because they are perfect copies of each other. Other times, they succeed due to being opposites. This is the case for this team, featuring one of the largest competitors and one of the smallest, it's The Big Nasty Bastard Paul Wight and Saya Iida

Team 7:
In the far off world of Azeroth, there are all sorts of mystical creatures. This team came from this world of war to our own war world to try their hand. One is a boatsman, a child of the sea well acquainted with navigation and a good scrap. The other is a powerful Tauren Warrior, able to cleave through any thre- wait hang on hes just a guy from Nebraska with a bull helmet on? Anyway, the brand deal will help the budget so welcome Mantaur and Captain Placeholder!

Team 8:
Here we have two of the biggest names in the competition. An absolute global icon and one of the most important champions of the 2000s! Super Mario and CM Punk! Two household names if there were any in this field. Also, of course, card subject to change you can't sue if it's just Mario Mancini and Inflatable CM Punk!


Team 9:
Look, it can't all be flash and glamour. Sometimes you just need a workhorse or two. And these two know a thing about smash mouth, suplex-heavy, style and having fun at the expense of their opponent. It's the mustache gang also known as Old Man Jenkins and Sami Zayn

Team 10:
One of the only teams that can match Team 2 for pure size, these two Jumbo-sized competitors have teamed up to show us that not only are video games art, they are in fact the art of war. How did we make these video game characters real? Very carefully. It's Biff Slamkovich and Dr. Frank!

Team 11:
Minoru Suzuki has always been a warrior. Whether it's the sadistic old man of today or the handsome grappler of two decades past, the man has the heart of the champion. But what if that heart was inside the body of an elementary school student? Would he succeed? Also, would he be allowed to listen to the hit records of his teammates, who have decided to enter the closest thing they can find to their beloved old kung fu flicks? It's Minoru Suzuki as a Kid and the Entire Wu-Tang Clan!

Team 12:
But where does that leave Minoru's own war clan, the Suzuki-Gun? Well don't worry about them. They are still bringing 8 guys to a singles competition and also have a new boss, who also is reverting to her earlier days. Even though she's a newbie, she's still the final boss. It's All of Suzuki-Gun and Rookie Meiko Satomura!


Team 13:
It takes a champion to know a champion. These two both know champions. One is a rather generic luchador, but with a proven track record. The other, an enormously-headed MMA icon. Both are out to prove they can still hang with the best in the world. It's Tito Ortiz and El Generico

Team 14:
What do you do when you have a problem? You find someone to solve it. Whether that's an unstoppable fusion of future tech and ancient mysticism or just a one man army bent on destruction, these two together can take down the Hunger Games Match, and draw down the Final curtain. It's Mecha Mummy and The Final Solution!

Team 15:
Aww nuts it's these idiots again. Not content to merely mess up Season One with their ridiculous attempts to get themselves over and hoard all the campsites, those awful rear end in a top hat Brothers have sent in their new operatives. Also one of them seems to be a small robot child with a gun? Typical, just typical of Davey rear end in a top hat and Mega Man!

Team 16:
Last but not least, we have another team of contrasts. Superheavyweight power vs lightweight quickness. Owning the company vs rejecting the industry. Looking like 300 pounds of cream cheese in a trash bag vs being the cutest in the world. This is the contrast inherent in Beau James and Maki Itoh!

There you have it, fans! Happy with your partner? Which team are you backing?

Cavauro
Jan 9, 2008



pretty excited about the "D-4" team. i hope sami zayn dies

Junpei Hyde
Mar 15, 2013


Never believe in lies





Alright, this kid better be able to slow it down a little, don't need him making the real stars look bad

NienNunb
Feb 15, 2012

still a threat





Time to kill

projecthalaxy
Dec 27, 2008

Yes hello it is I Kurt's Secret Son


Personally, my heart is saying Burrell and Robocop and my head is saying Satomura-Gun.

yea ok
Jul 27, 2006



THe Protomen are gonna make a sick song about this!!!

sk
Dec 10, 2005

(イヤァオ!)


Grimey Drawer

friar ferguson and shock master, aka The Church and Lurch Connection

NienNunb
Feb 15, 2012

still a threat



Fat Nasty Bastard carrying Saya around the battlefield in a papoose

saffi faildotter
Mar 2, 2007



beau james doing a perfectly choreographed dance on entry with itoh, singing all the words

KungFu Grip
Jun 18, 2008



Wu-Tang Clan is for the Children

Seth Rollins
Oct 24, 2001

i'll always take care of you


Muldoon

a balloon man can't bleed

Cavauro
Jan 9, 2008



mega rear end in a top hat

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?


I can't wait for Minoru Suzuki as a kid to gently caress up Whole of Suzuki-Gun.

Codependent Poster
Oct 20, 2003




sk posted:

friar ferguson and shock master, aka The Church and Lurch Connection

lol

I do like Wu Tang is for the Children too

Lid
Feb 18, 2005

Cabana's legal advice?
I'm bourgeoisie.
I... hit the shitty
firemans carry knee.






Mecha Mummy and The Final Solution is Return to Castle Wolfenstein

J-Ro
Jul 26, 2005

Child Of The Revolution



projecthalaxy posted:

Satomura-Gun.

RIP everybody else.

Torrent
Apr 18, 2003
" . . . "

Biff Slamkovich and Dr. Frank, collectively known as Frankenslam's Monsters, are going to make sure it's game over for all the other teams!

CHaKKaWaKka
Aug 6, 2001

I've chosen my next victim. Cry tears of joy it's not you!

I don't know how anyone could beat Frankenslam's Monsters, they perfectly represent the two types of wrestlers: hunks with little trunks and Halloween monsters

ShadowedFlames
Dec 26, 2009

Shoot this guy in the face.


Fallen Rib

Selfishly rooting for Leslie Burrell to win here.

projecthalaxy
Dec 27, 2008

Yes hello it is I Kurt's Secret Son


CHaKKaWaKka posted:

I don't know how anyone could beat Frankenslam's Monsters, they perfectly represent the two types of wrestlers: hunks with little trunks and Halloween monsters

They've got shoulders like boulders, and bis and tris that hypnotize!

No really. They can hypnotize people with their biceps. Fairy magic.

Cavauro
Jan 9, 2008



champminions. chaminion. champagneion. when we Do The Hunger Games we do it right gettin slizzard

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Pinche Rudo
Feb 8, 2005



Lid posted:

Mecha Mummy and The Final Solution is Return to Castle Wolfenstein

An amazing pairing that will stand triumphant

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