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NienNunb
Feb 15, 2012

still a threat



Our team is The Bastards Of All Shapes And Sizes

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Cavauro
Jan 9, 2008



my teammate hates my guts irl and stabbed me. We never watch the same shows

J-Ro
Jul 26, 2005

Child Of The Revolution



Wu-Tang Is For The Children x Satomura-Gun will collapse worlds.

Only registered members can see post attachments!

Rarity
Oct 21, 2010

Excuse me, I'd like to
speak to the moderator




I will be repping Veronica Mars and Mideon aka. The Naked Truth while secretly supporting Satomura-gun

JOHN CENA
Oct 20, 2006


im making it jerusalem's job to name our team because i am incredibly lazy

Senerio
Oct 19, 2009

Ooh! Are we messing with Adora?



Robocop is now a member of the Duchy of Clarence, duh.

Xerzes
May 16, 2012




I don't know enough to make a proper joke team name for Mantaur and a temporary bugfix in NPC form. Something about a manowar? I wouldn't want to impugn the name of Aldo Montoya.

Cavauro
Jan 9, 2008



that team should be called the gelkis clan. or the magram clan. whoever you grinded to exalted. i know it's the opposite creature of mantaur. i'm sorry

jesus WEP
Oct 17, 2004

OM NOM NOM NOM NOM



Fun Shoe

As the doomed manager of Minoru Suzuki As A Child, I endorse the team name Wu Tang Is For The Children

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?


JOHN CENA posted:

im making it jerusalem's job to name our team because i am incredibly lazy

The Team of Don Valentine and Hade Vansen will be known as "Never Was and Never Could Be"

esperantinc
May 5, 2003

JERRY! HELLO!


jesus WEP posted:

As the doomed manager of Minoru Suzuki As A Child, I endorse the team name Wu Tang Is For The Children

As the manager of the Wu-Tang Clan I heartily second this endorsement.

jesus WEP
Oct 17, 2004

OM NOM NOM NOM NOM



Fun Shoe

esperantinc posted:

As the manager of the Wu-Tang Clan I heartily second this endorsement.

frankenfreak
Feb 16, 2007

Almanya ÷nde!
Bir başka hedef!
Sonsuz şef L÷w išin zafer!




NienNunb posted:

Our team is The Bastards Of All Shapes And Sizes
It's B.O.A.S.S. time!

Endless Mike
Aug 13, 2003

Get running
Start pumping your bunions, I'm coming
I'm the dumbest, who flamethrow your function to Funyons
Flame your crew quicker than Trump fucks his youngest
Now face the flame fuckers your fame and fate's done with



Rarity posted:

I will be repping Veronica Mars and Mideon aka. The Naked Truth while secretly supporting Satomura-gun

Hell yeah

ChrisBTY
Mar 29, 2012

this glorious monument



Holy poo poo it's more hideous beautiful than I ever dared dream.
It's time for the perfect fusion of everything good in the world and everything terrible in the world with The Cavalry Baptist Respect Army

SalTheBard
Jan 26, 2005


I forgot to post my food for USPOL Thanksgiving but that's okay too!




Fallen Rib

This is making me laugh way harder than I thought it would. Wu-Tang is for the Children! Also, props to PH for the amazing loving commentary (they brought 8 people to a singles competition).

projecthalaxy
Dec 27, 2008

Yes hello it is I Kurt's Secret Son


SalTheBard posted:

This is making me laugh way harder than I thought it would. Wu-Tang is for the Children! Also, props to PH for the amazing loving commentary (they brought 8 people to a singles competition).

I'm glad you're liking it! I had fun trying to figure out what all the teams were about. This season has the potential for some serious comedy.

ChrisBTY
Mar 29, 2012

this glorious monument



I will be cheering for the victory of Maki Itoh. And only Maki Itoh.

projecthalaxy
Dec 27, 2008

Yes hello it is I Kurt's Secret Son


ChrisBTY posted:

I will be cheering for the victory of Maki Itoh. And only Maki Itoh.

that'd be pretty maki neato.

Cavauro
Jan 9, 2008



please clap for champion pig

KungFu Grip
Jun 18, 2008



minion murado

IcePhoenix
Sep 18, 2005

Take me to your Shida





Xerzes posted:

I don't know enough to make a proper joke team name for Mantaur and a temporary bugfix in NPC form. Something about a manowar? I wouldn't want to impugn the name of Aldo Montoya.

I think you might be trying too hard. Simple is always the way to go.

Captain Placeholder and Mantaur are now known as BullShip

IcePhoenix fucked around with this message at 15:30 on Sep 15, 2020

NienNunb
Feb 15, 2012

still a threat



Cavauro posted:

please clap for champion pig

Porco dio

saffi faildotter
Mar 2, 2007



ChrisBTY posted:

Holy poo poo it's more hideous beautiful than I ever dared dream.
It's time for the perfect fusion of everything good in the world and everything terrible in the world with The Cavalry Baptist Respect Army

co-signed!

ChrisBTY posted:

I will be cheering for the victory of Maki Itoh. And only Maki Itoh.

also co-signed.

ItohRespectArmy
Sep 11, 2019


mods please rename me "the cavalry baptist respect army"

SG Bamboo
Aug 21, 2013

I will never shake your hand.

Ever.


I can't think of poo poo for Tito/Generico so unless Macksy has something better the team is Advertencia Del Uno de Agosto

projecthalaxy
Dec 27, 2008

Yes hello it is I Kurt's Secret Son


Ill have to go through and write down all these team names, they're great.

projecthalaxy
Dec 27, 2008

Yes hello it is I Kurt's Secret Son


It's time for the big dance to start. Various Michaels and Bruces Buffer from various timelines are arrayed around the central plaza. Tonight, for the dozens in attendance, for the hundreds watching at home, ladies and gentlemen, LET'S GET READY TO HUNGER!!! That's right folks, Season 2 is underway. It promises more thrills, more spills, more Champion Pig than any season we've seen before. Hopefully. As before, we begin with the Bloodbath. All 32 entrants on podiums, caches of supplies around them, the world before them. The bell sounds. Let's do it.


The Shockmaster falls off of his podium as the bell sounds. He hustles over to the supplies, and is just a bit too late to grab a pack as Satomura-Gun's new leader has snagged it. He simply uses the fact that he is three times her size and rips it out of her hands. She remembers his face. It is glittery, and a storm trooper helmet. "Ack! A dreadful gnome!", the good Captain Placeholder shrieks as he strikes the gnome with a spear. Unfortunately it's not a gnome. It's Saya Iida, or it was anyway. How sad. You know, Hade Vansen was supposed to be somebody. Some say he was booked to win this whole competition. Unfortunately for him and all the little Hadeamaniacs out there, he tried to steal a weapon from the Entire Wu-Tang Clan without protecting his neck. They illustrated the futility of this. Mantaur has a sword now. Ho Ho Ho.


Sami Zayn and the Mecha Mummy arm themselves. Minion Morado is feeling pumped! He's feeling hyped! He can do this! He's going to get in there! He just exploded ah jeez. Naked Mideon sees the carnage in the ring and decides to beat a hasty retreat, knowing he has supplies in his trusty fanny pack. Elsewhere, The Big Nasty Bastard, Paul Wight, is seeking to get revenge on Captain Placeholder for killing his little buddy with a spear. Col. Robocop sees this and springs to the aid of his fellow officer, like he is programmed to do. His pistol removed, he finds more low tech solutions. The Bastards Of All Shapes And Sizes are eliminated and it has been 90 seconds.


Minoru Suzuki, who is eleven, is much smaller than most of the competitors. This allows him to sneak into the melee, grab a case of throwing daggers, and bail. His military duty complete, Col. Robocop spins around to see his bodyguarding charge in a bit of a pickle. Two gigantic men are about to bash her head in. However, by the time he gets there, they are both standing there shocked. "Don't worry, Colonel. After all" she says, placing a small knife back in her bag and smiling. The two behemoths hit the ground. "It's part of a domestic's duty to take out the trash.". Another triple threat has broken out across the circle. Beau James, El Generico, and Tito Ortiz are brawling. Tito gets a picture perfect takedown on Generico. Beau takes this chance to run away. "AAAAH! MAKI, HELP! THEY'RE TRYING TO SHOOT ON ME!!!". Perhaps he is unaware of what he signed up for. Tito has grabbed a rear naked choke. Generico taps. Tito doesn't care. The 400 pounder with the unfortunate name grabs another sword.


Old Man Jenkins, as is his wont, decides to slow it down. He doesn't get involved in all that nonsense. He just heads for the treeline. Back at the supply drop, clear pecking orders are being formed. Some are simple, as the near-seven foot Biff simply scares Don Valentine away from a food bucket, while others are more subtle, as even that scumbag Davey is unable to pierce the sheer wall of quips and perky, can-do energy being exuded by the investigator. Veronica heads out to find Mideon, knowing his chef's instincts will put the food to the best use, while Biff just starts hitting people with his food bucket. Because he's Biff Slamkovich and that's what kind of day it is. Inflatable CM Punk bides his time.


Davey's partner has more success at grabbing items. He makes off with a medkit. Similarly equipped is a red and black ball of profanity speeding around the field. Mario Mancini, not wanting to wait on his partner, heads into the fray to get the last food bucket. He sees a squad of tough looking guys in windsuits holding it. Zach Sabre Jr tells him to get his rear end to stepping. Mario makes a business decision and agrees. He tucks his partner under his arm and heads for the hills. Champion Pig also grabs a sword. Great job Champion Pig.


7 down, 25 to go.

Cavauro
Jan 9, 2008



You used to captivate me by your resonating light
Now, I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me
These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

morado

NienNunb
Feb 15, 2012

still a threat



This is horse poo poo

Lid
Feb 18, 2005

Cabana's legal advice?
I'm bourgeoisie.
I... hit the shitty
firemans carry knee.






The commentary just passing over the first thing Maki Itoh did was grab a knife and a bottle of whiskey.

JOHN CENA
Oct 20, 2006


my team performing true to form, Hade Vansen lasting about as long as he did on the main roster and Don Valentine being too cowardly to do anything

projecthalaxy
Dec 27, 2008

Yes hello it is I Kurt's Secret Son


Lid posted:

The commentary just passing over the first thing Maki Itoh did was grab a knife and a bottle of whiskey.

I thought of it more like a scalpel and rubbing alcohol but who knows! Believe in your own truth.

Cavauro
Jan 9, 2008



a bare razor blade and 70% ethanol

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?


Hade Vansen being gone before he did anything is perfection

frankenfreak
Feb 16, 2007

Almanya ÷nde!
Bir başka hedef!
Sonsuz şef L÷w išin zafer!




The bigger and the smaller they are, the faster they fall.

Armitage
Aug 16, 2005

"Mathman's not here." "Oh? Where is he?" "He's in the Mathroom."


Mario Mancini can beat Suzuki-gun with one hand tied behind his back, but figures that would use up a lot of energy early. Smart move!

IcePhoenix
Sep 18, 2005

Take me to your Shida





I was worried about Captain Placeholder being the first kill but instead he bagged it

ChrisBTY
Mar 29, 2012

this glorious monument



If Beau James does a single useful thing all game I'm calling hax. I'd say 'useful or intelligent' but running away from Tito Ortiz while he's killing somebody else is pretty loving smart.

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Codependent Poster
Oct 20, 2003




Jerusalem posted:

Hade Vansen being gone before he did anything is perfection

That was incredible.

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