The True Form of Sports Entertainment: Wrestling Hunger Games Simulation

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Hammer House: Stinger Splash Zone > The True Form of Sports Entertainment: Wrestling Hunger Games Simulation

Lid: Feb 18, 2005; And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

I present WCW's greatest gimmick

The Final Solution

Yes that was his name.

Although i did also find this

and Jeep Swenson is a hilarious name.

He is best known for being Bane in Batman and Robin of all things. Say what you will about The Dark Knight Rises but at least that Bane completley removed all memory of Batman and Robin Bane.

Although now best Bane is Harley Quinn Bane.

# ¿ Sep 14, 2020 00:18

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# ¿ Apr 24, 2024 13:16

Lid: Feb 18, 2005; And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

projecthalaxy posted:

Don't worry, Cavauro, Anything goes in the Lethal Lottery. One of the competitors is a balloon! One is like 9 dudes! Champion Pig is fine.

I don't know whether it will be funnier if Kid Minoru Suzuki is teamed with The Entire Suzuki-Gun or if he isn't.

We are currently at 21 entries, with up to 11 slots available. Here is my list I will enter into the system. I had to shorten some of the names to be 16 characters so if you don't like your display name feel free to correct me so we don't have another Lumberjacks situation.

I'm going to have to do some research on a lot of these people so i can make my lore references in the write ups. Like its easy to do with Joan of Arc or Chuck Taylor but I have far fewer jokes in the chamber for, say, Mario Mancini or Dr. Frank.

Dr Frank, like the rest of the random wrestlers in WCW/nWo Revenge is just a reskinned Japanese wrestler. In this case Jumbo Tsuruta.

Here's the full breakdown

EWF

AKI Man/THQ Man (Mitsuharu Misawa)

Shogun (Toshiaki Kawada)

Executioner (Kenta Kobashi)

Dr. Frank (Jumbo Tsurata)

Jekel (Dr. Death Steve Williams)

Maya Inca Boy (Akira Taue)

DAW

Hawk Hana (Genichiro Tenryu)

Kim Chee (Koji Kitao)

Dake Ken (Atsushi Onita)

Brickowski (Mil Mascaras)

Ming Chee (Tarzan Goto)

Han Zo Man (Hayabusa)

# ¿ Sep 14, 2020 01:01

Lid: Feb 18, 2005; And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

esperantinc posted:

If Lethal Lottery is accepting groups I would like to include the Wu-Tang Clan as the next entrants.

They ain't nothin' to gently caress with.

You cant nominate the entire Wu-Tang Clan, diversify your bonds.

# ¿ Sep 14, 2020 02:02

Lid: Feb 18, 2005; And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

Vade Hansen

# ¿ Sep 14, 2020 09:15

Lid: Feb 18, 2005; And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

Mecha Mummy and The Final Solution is Return to Castle Wolfenstein

# ¿ Sep 15, 2020 03:22

Lid: Feb 18, 2005; And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

The commentary just passing over the first thing Maki Itoh did was grab a knife and a bottle of whiskey.

# ¿ Sep 16, 2020 01:00

Lid: Feb 18, 2005; And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

projecthalaxy posted:

I thought of it more like a scalpel and rubbing alcohol but who knows! Believe in your own truth.

Its Maki Itoh

https://mobile.twitter.com/maki_itoh/status/1268564641531084800

# ¿ Sep 16, 2020 03:41

Lid: Feb 18, 2005; And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

The entire Wu Tang Clan beginning to cry at once

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S2S0zu3M0rY

# ¿ Sep 18, 2020 05:22

Lid: Feb 18, 2005; And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

Why Maki Itoh got water

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grog

# ¿ Sep 18, 2020 07:18

Lid: Feb 18, 2005; And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

projecthalaxy posted:

A small blonde English woman is running after him with a large wrench! She wants his clockwork insides for her own usage.

# ¿ Sep 19, 2020 03:23

Lid: Feb 18, 2005; And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

Somehow the most pacifist gentle man in this entire game is The Final Solution who just seems to want to be softly camping and melancholy.

# ¿ Sep 21, 2020 00:51

Lid: Feb 18, 2005; And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

Pinche Rudo posted:

RIP to the other half of Team Return to Castle Wolfenstein.

The Final Solution was the most pacifist of all candidates, and just randomly dies after a game of doing nothing. The name was pushed onto him, he did not choose it. Rest in peace Jeep Swenson.

# ¿ Sep 22, 2020 07:55

Lid: Feb 18, 2005; And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

this is Final Solution's wikipedia picture

# ¿ Sep 22, 2020 10:09

Lid: Feb 18, 2005; And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

CHaKKaWaKka posted:

At this point I think only the Wu-Tang Clan can save us from the Mecha Mummy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HpQmFfdYFzY

# ¿ Sep 23, 2020 07:01

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# ¿ Apr 24, 2024 13:16

Lid: Feb 18, 2005; And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

old man jenkins made it all the way with zero kills

# ¿ Sep 24, 2020 08:25

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Hammer House: Stinger Splash Zone > The True Form of Sports Entertainment: Wrestling Hunger Games Simulation