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Zaurg But A Horse
Apr 14, 2019

Zaurg? Neigh!


The latest trend on the internet is to talk about how much one hates mayonnaise. "Eew, the gross grossness of the grossest white slimy sauce, fit only for the whitest of white-bread and mayonnaise sorts of white folk. As a cultured internetter, mayo is beneath me. Hot sauce is the future." As a horse, I say neigh to this sort of performative nonsense. It is not the devil's food except in the case of deviled eggs. There is a place for hot sauce and a place for mayonnaise, and those places can share equal space (equal, not separate) in our fridges and our hearts. Put hot sauce on your chips and in your soups. Put mayonnaise on your cold cuts alongside mustard and brown bread, possibly a piece of pepperjack cheese if you're feeling particularly rowdy today.

But enough of pretending you don't have three jars of mayonnaise in your fridge just because it's cool to disavow your own blandness and pretend you've always supported hot sauce.

The real sauce-fiends know you're faking. They always have.

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Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013


Ramrod XTreme

If you're not making it yourself from eggs laid by your own chickens do not SPEAK for me, OP you wretched trash person

The Breakfast Sampler
Jan 1, 2006




excellent points OP. I love mayo and I always have and I always will (Duke's is my favorite, Hellmann's/Best Foods otherwise. Kraft is trash. And c'mon, Hellmann's? it is the devil's own condiment and so it is clearly awesome.) there's nothing to dislike here, just a buncha assholes who would be like "this aioli is delicious" and then "ew, mayo is gross!"

YeahTubaMike
Mar 24, 2005

*hic* Gotta finish thish . . .


Doctor Rope


*crosses out "hot sauce* *writes in "sriracha"*

[several months/years elapse]

*crosses out "sriracha"* *writes in "eating rear end"*

GolfHole
Feb 26, 2004



what kind of ape uses hot sauce without a mayonnaise, ive never heard of this happening

Arrrthritis
May 31, 2007


Everyone has a plan 'til they get punched in the mouth.



YeahTubaMike posted:

*crosses out "hot sauce* *writes in "sriracha"*

[several months/years elapse]

*crosses out "sriracha"* *writes in "eating rear end"*

Funny how the approval for sriracha goes down when the approval for eating rear end goes up.

Pawn 17
Dec 17, 2000

> access main security grid
access: PERMISSION DENIED.







Grimey Drawer

I disliked mayo before it was cool.

Nooner
Mar 26, 2007

I am Nooner


iliek food (:

naem
May 29, 2011



GolfHole posted:

what kind of ape uses hot sauce without a mayonnaise, ive never heard of this happening

together theimyre great

UltraRed
Apr 9, 2005



Fun Shoe

I hated mayo until I went to college and accidentally ordered a Jimmy John's not knowing it had mayo on it. Then I discovered that I was just eating trash mayo all my life.

DeadFatDuckFat
Oct 29, 2012

This avatar brought to you by the 'save our dead gay forums' foundation.


Bread Liar

Classy folks get the mayo WITH OLIVE OIL

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013


Ramrod XTreme

UltraRed posted:

I hated mayo until I went to college and accidentally ordered a Jimmy John's not knowing it had mayo on it. Then I discovered that I was just eating trash mayo all my life.

They use hellmanns

YeahTubaMike
Mar 24, 2005

*hic* Gotta finish thish . . .


Doctor Rope

Arrrthritis posted:

Funny how the approval for sriracha goes down when the approval for eating rear end goes up.



Pawn 17 posted:

I disliked mayo before it was cool.

I liked mayo and I never stopped

DeadFatDuckFat posted:

Classy folks get the mayo WITH OLIVE AVOCADO OIL

Tom Gorman
Apr 30, 2004

Out here, everything hurts




Buglord

pissmans mustard. its just a great mustard. enjoy it on everything.

Dear Watson
Jun 25, 2005




Hell Gem

I have no opinion on mayo. Go ahead, change my mind!

Bacontotem
May 27, 2010



Mayo in tuna is good. Mayo spread on tri tip dipping sandwiches is good. Hint of mayo is good on burger is good. Most other uses of mayo makes me an unhappy piss baby.

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013


Ramrod XTreme

I like mayo on hamburgers more than I like ketchup.


...but not as much as I like thousand island dressing on them.

20 Blunts
Jan 21, 2017



theres nothing more intellectual than taking the admittedly evil history of the united states and unloading all that rage towards a whipped egg yolk condiment

Nooner
Mar 26, 2007

I am Nooner


mayo is okay I guess. I could take it or leave it

Who What Now
Sep 10, 2006


Statistically you'd think that I'd sometimes fluke into typing a decent post. Nah. Only the most tedious, shitty posts, all day every day baby!

Don't bother engaging me, I don't ever get the hints to fuck off.




I don't really like mayo but it's probably not as bad as a fascist police state. Or it might be, I dunno.

DeadFatDuckFat
Oct 29, 2012

This avatar brought to you by the 'save our dead gay forums' foundation.


Bread Liar

Its got nowhere else to go

Das Boo
Jun 9, 2011

There was a GHOST here. It's gone now.



I don't care for hot sauce, but I want the world to get on the horseradish-that-empties-your-sinuses train.

Snackula
Aug 1, 2013

hedgefund wizard


Do you guys get Belgian mayo at all? Those folks are deadly serious about mayo, they have actual laws dictating what can and can't be called mayo. One of the few things I miss about my old job was we were down by the border a lot and there were like five different ridiculously good fry shacks to pick from for lunch.

BIG FLUFFY DOG
Feb 16, 2011

On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog.




Snackula posted:

Do you guys get Belgian mayo at all? Those folks are deadly serious about mayo, they have actual laws dictating what can and can't be called mayo. One of the few things I miss about my old job was we were down by the border a lot and there were like five different ridiculously good fry shacks to pick from for lunch.

There is Belgian chocolate, Belgian Waffles and this is the extent of the Belgian cultural presence in North America

Hammerite
Mar 9, 2007

And you don't remember what I said here, either, but it was pompous and stupid.


Jade Ear Joe


I'm the guy in the bottom left with the thousand yard stare (im thinking about mayonnaise)

Skratte
Nov 11, 2010





my house was a miracle whip house growing up, I didn't have real mayo until my twenties. I like it! We buy that kewpie poo poo, or uh, the kind that has horseradish mixed into it. If my sandwiches aren't making my sinuses drain all over the place I'm not living. These are my mayopinions.

me your dad
Jul 25, 2006



Nooner
Mar 26, 2007

I am Nooner


Das Boo posted:

I want the world to get on the horseradish-that-empties-your-sinuses train.

gently caress yes, this is the correct opinion

Jon Joe
Oct 19, 2011

GUESS WHO'S LYING


Grimey Drawer

parody thread idea: Liking Mao on the internet is performative wokeness

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


Mix the hot sauce with the mayo and dunk your fries. If you feel adventurous, add some ketchup or mustard to the blend. The only thing gross about mayo is a cold bread and mayo sandwich.

pixaal
Jan 8, 2004

All ice cream is now for all beings, no matter how many legs.


Toilet Rascal

Das Boo posted:

I don't care for hot sauce, but I want the world to get on the horseradish-that-empties-your-sinuses train.

Anything hot enough to do that is always good. Getting hungry just thinking about it. This is weird I'm getting hungry about the idea of my nose dripping. That's kind of gross, like mayo.

GolfHole
Feb 26, 2004



ketchup deserves all the hate it gets

HugeGrossBurrito
Mar 20, 2018




im just happy for you op, you finally did it you made the post

Skratte
Nov 11, 2010





the only bad condiment is ranch. But that's just like my opinion. It's ok if other people like it.

3D Megadoodoo
Nov 25, 2010

BENIS


I hate every condiment I see
From mayonna to mayonnaisee

20 Blunts
Jan 21, 2017



no wonder its the demon cracker condiment, it was perfected by HELL MAN

Inexplicable Humblebrag
Sep 20, 2003



i strongly suggest people give making their own mayo a go. it's really easy if you're patient! you just need oil, vinegar, eggs, but salt/pepper and smooth mustard is also handy

Akratic Method
Mar 9, 2013

It's going to pay off eventually--I'm sure of it.

Any day now.



Mayo is pretty decent (along with its more pretentious sibling aioli), but what is truly an abomination is the "salad" recipes that consist of drowning things in a bowl of it.

20 Blunts posted:

theres nothing more intellectual than taking the admittedly evil history of the united states and unloading all that rage towards a whipped egg yolk condiment

Just imagining a slave ship crewed entirely by shambling blobs of mayonnaise now

Sid Vicious
Jan 1, 1970



I loving love mayonaiise man, hellman, kewpie, I dig it. I wanna get some Dutch mayo apparently they're craZy about the stuff

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Sid Vicious
Jan 1, 1970



and oh yeah I'm white

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