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fautdemieux
Jan 12, 2006
Pain or damage don't end the world. Or despair or fucking beatings. The world ends when you're dead. Until then, you got more punishment in store. Stand it like a man... and give some back.

Dear Goons,

I'm in my early forties, and I've suffered from varying degrees of depression for most of my life. Causes are childhood trauma and family genetics.

I'd been resisting seeing a psychiatrist or psychologist for a long time, and tried to 'hide' the depression from people (excusing mood swings by pointing to stressful job, 'sad' personality (not everyone can be happy-go-lucky).

Something happened recently where vague thoughts of suicide that have accompanied me for much of my life became frighteningly specific (I had some sort of episode) and it scared me enough to make an appointment with a psychiatrist (I don't live in the US).

It's going to be a long process - I have another medical condition which is known to have an impact on quality of life, and we want to see whether that is under control - but after listening to my comments, she recommended that in addition to talk therapy, I considered using an SSRI.

I was a bit shocked at the time, and nothing is imminent, but I wanted to ask whether anyone has taken or is taking of SSRIs and their experience (I know that there's a lot of variation).

For me, I'm already feeling a bit guilty and weak that things have reached this point, and I wonder whether I'd need to use these pills for the rest of my life, just in order to survive. I also don't know how I'd go about addressing this with a romantic partner, if that ever happened again.

Any advice would be appreciated - I don't have many close friends (and none who've been faced with the same issue) , and there's probably only one other person in my life I can discuss this with.

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Bug Squash
Mar 18, 2009


YOU CAN STOMP US!

YOU CAN SQUASH US!

BUT YOU'LL NEVER EVER STOP US!


If your leg was broken, you wouldn't beat yourself up for getting it treated. Mental health should be the same. Society treats brain medicine like it's some big dramatic thing, and that's nonsense.

SSRIs are incredibly common, you likely already know some who is taking them. They are relatively mild, you probably won't feel any different while taking them, but they help smooth over bad patches, mood wise. The main drawback is if you stop taking them you get dizzy spells for a week or two.

My advice is to go for it.

Happy to talk about my own specific experience with SSRIs if you like.

cda
Jan 2, 2010


Sounds like you're on the right track in terms of seeing your condition clearly and taking good steps to get help. Only you know the degree of risk involved in waiting to start on drugs, but I think in an ideal situation you would do talk therapy for a little while (a few months maybe?) while your psychologist gets to know you and your issues, and then with their support you can start figuring out the drug thing. The reason I say this is because psych meds are drugs, and they can make you feel great, or weird, or terrible just like any other kind of drug, they can also make you feel subtly different (that is, you feel different but other people in casual interactions with you may not notice anything), and they may have different kinds of side-effects that also will affect your life and self-concept (sexual side effect are the most obvious but there are others), and your psychiatrist will not really help you deal with any of that. Best case, if you are able to articulate what's going wrong -- which can be difficult -- they will tell you to raise or lower your dose or add or subtract a medication.

This is the best short-form description of psychiatrists I've read, from the therapy thread (US-centric but I gather it's similar a lot of places):

SlyFrog posted:

they see you for 20-30 minutes the first time, pretend to listen to your issues briefly (or more likely, have some intake nurse type your issues in a computer), and then put you on an SSRI or ADHD drug and tell you to check in later, where after pretending to listen for approximately five minutes they will either increase the dose or put you on another SSRI or ADHD drug, repeating this process until you feel better/stop complaining.

A therapist, meanwhile, will (hopefully) care about you, about your particular subjective experience, and be well-positioned (especially the better they know you) to help you assess, articulate, and make decisions about, the effects that your prescribed drugs are having on you. And the better you know them, the more likely you will be able to talk about some of the more difficult possibilities (like it's not the easiest thing in the world to tell even a well meaning stranger about what's going on with your genitals).

The right medication can make a substantial positive difference in your life and generally speaking as a class SSRIs have a reasonably good track record. Chances are this will turn out somewhere between extremely well and just meh for you. Good luck!

Das Boo
Jun 9, 2011

There was a GHOST here. It's gone now.



First of all, it's great you're getting treatment. This has the potential to change your life in a good way.

I'm in the US, so I had to really shop around for a good therapist. It was just talk therapy, but it weirdly helped. She had a way of getting to my ledes and gave me suggestions on how to approach my problems. I'd report back, then we'd discuss how it went and workshop. After a few a couple of months, she referred me to my psychiatrist.

My psych discussed my medical history with me and referred me to a doctor for blood work/hormone panel/etc. I told her I had previously had difficulty with birth control and SSRIs, so she suggested we try one more in the SSRI group before moving on. She started me out on 5mg Lexapro once daily. Upped to 10mg three months later and at my request.

I have double depression, which means my normal is someone else's depressed. I have trouble with insomnia because I fixate on anxious events and thoughts when I've nothing filling my time. If I depress further, I sink into self-loathing and suicidal ideation. As far as I can tell, the Lexapro had stopped me from dwelling that severely. My memory's become a little worse but good god, it's a wonderful trade-off to not have those invasive thoughts anymore. I tend to sleep better now. I went through maybe three different types of drugs before this that didn't work for me, but I consider it necessary footwork. Now it's just a tiny pill before bedtime each night and I can finally feel safe with my own thoughts.

I weaned off the therapist (I had been in a particularly bad swing due to a toxic workplace), and I still check in with my psych every 3 months or so. I often think of the suicide survivors of Golden Gate Bridge: Many of them said as soon as their feet left the ground, it was like a fog lifted and their problems suddenly weren't so impossible after all.

OP, I also have asthma and am allergic to cats. I generally take a hit off my inhaler once a day and pop an allergy pill each day when I visit home. My folks have cats and I love them. Anyone who judges me for using meds to help me breathe is a lunatic, and anyone who judges you for using meds to help you through your day is likewise.

A lot of brilliant people worked hard to invent something that could help people like me to be happier and healthier, and all I need to do is take this tiny pill before bedtime. Holy poo poo, we live in a miraculous age! To think if I was born at any point in history before this, I'd be seen as a broken human being and ostracized or "treated" with archaic torture devices... We are so, so lucky to be living in a time when help is becoming more and more available.

Neurology continues to advance, medicine continues its breakthroughs and you stand to benefit from its efforts. There is no goddamn shame to be had.

Huntersoninski
Feb 15, 2008

kill kill kill kill
kill me now


I understand your feelings about taking the meds, OP, i was in a similar boat when I started up mine. I think there's this misconception about antidepressants that they "make you happy," but they don't make you happy any more than wearing glasses makes you a fuckin speed reader. Yeah, if you can focus your eyes to read, you may learn to become a speed reader. But the glasses aren't what's making it happen. Yeah, taking the pills you may find yourself able to tackle issues better and feel better overall. But that wasn't the pill doing it, it's just you allowed to take in the world without being bogged down by your illness. They take you to where you're no longer emotionally underwater. You should still be feeling normal emotional responses to stuff, you're just able to take it on more clear-headedly.

Starting SSRIs can be really hard, you may have a week or so of feeling dizzy or disoriented, or having your sleep or hunger messed with. That does go away. Anything too major or long-lasting should obviously be reported to your doctor. And don't feel like you need to settle, if a med works overall but gives you a side effect you don't want to deal with, talk to your doctor. There are so many medical options now, they may be able to switch you to something similar that won't cause you discomfort. I guess I should clarify: don't settle til your doctor tells you you have to. My doc refuses to let me while we still have options left. I'm on medicine #8 I think. It took a few tries for us to realize what kind of dosing works for me, and a few more to find one that I could work with. One was great for my mood overall but left me with a side effect I wasn't sure I wanted to deal with. I asked my doc if I should just live with it, and she said no, and set me up on a medicine that was actually a metabolite of the one that worked for me, so chemically very similar. It worked great for about a year when it stopped being as effective for me. After changing doses didn't help, we switched me again. I'm happy with the one I have now but that may change again. Switching is normal. It's hard to not see that as some kind of personal failing, but just try to accept the process non-judgmentally. Brain chemistry is weird af and it's not a reflection on you if what works for someone else doesn't work for you, or if you have to go back to the ssri drawing board. Some folks manage to find a good match right away. Some folks, like me, have to work a little harder to find a good match. Hopefully your doctor is supportive and gives you the time and consideration you need to decide what's working for you.

It's not a failure and it's not a weakness. And as daunting as it all may seem, you also always have the option to stop down the line, this isn't like one way journey with no exits. You're taking control: you're not relinquishing control. Good job on asking for help!

DemonDarkhorse
Nov 5, 2011

It's probably not tobacco. You just need to start wiping front-to-back from now on.

no reason to feel guilty about taking something thats going to improve your quality of life. you wouldn't suffer through a headache without taking a painkiller; its really not much different.

ive been on SSRIs since i was 18ish, maybe even earlier (im 38 now) after a year or two of talk therapy. at the beginning, i saw both a counselor and psychiatrist, but as things improved, i didnt need the therapy much. i go now on an "as needed" basis. i still see my psychiatrist once every couple months to check in.

i started off on zoloft, which worked fine for 10-12 years before it just...didn't. apparently zoloft is known to just stop working for some people. i was switched to effexor, which has been great so far. i take a middling dose, with 30mg of buspiron for an extra boost. i also have clonazepam for panic attacks, but those are rare, so i barely go through 30 in a year.

as for side effects, some people complain of decreased libido, but that didn't affect me at all. zoloft made me gain weight. i havent noticed anything with effexor and buspiron, clonazepam is a benzo, so it's supposed to make you sleepy.

regarding interactions, i take whatever as needed. OTC allergy, analgesics, cough medicine, etc. i had brain surgery and while in the hospital i was pumped full of all sorts of drugs: steroids, antibiotics, anti-nausea meds, blood thinners, stool softeners, and even loving dilaudid, which is basically heroin, and had no issues.

YMMV of course

fautdemieux
Jan 12, 2006
Pain or damage don't end the world. Or despair or fucking beatings. The world ends when you're dead. Until then, you got more punishment in store. Stand it like a man... and give some back.

Das Boo posted:

First of all, it's great you're getting treatment. This has the potential to change your life in a good way.

I'm in the US, so I had to really shop around for a good therapist. It was just talk therapy, but it weirdly helped. She had a way of getting to my ledes and gave me suggestions on how to approach my problems. I'd report back, then we'd discuss how it went and workshop. After a few a couple of months, she referred me to my psychiatrist.

My psych discussed my medical history with me and referred me to a doctor for blood work/hormone panel/etc. I told her I had previously had difficulty with birth control and SSRIs, so she suggested we try one more in the SSRI group before moving on. She started me out on 5mg Lexapro once daily. Upped to 10mg three months later and at my request.

I have double depression, which means my normal is someone else's depressed. I have trouble with insomnia because I fixate on anxious events and thoughts when I've nothing filling my time. If I depress further, I sink into self-loathing and suicidal ideation. As far as I can tell, the Lexapro had stopped me from dwelling that severely. My memory's become a little worse but good god, it's a wonderful trade-off to not have those invasive thoughts anymore. I tend to sleep better now. I went through maybe three different types of drugs before this that didn't work for me, but I consider it necessary footwork. Now it's just a tiny pill before bedtime each night and I can finally feel safe with my own thoughts.

I weaned off the therapist (I had been in a particularly bad swing due to a toxic workplace), and I still check in with my psych every 3 months or so. I often think of the suicide survivors of Golden Gate Bridge: Many of them said as soon as their feet left the ground, it was like a fog lifted and their problems suddenly weren't so impossible after all.

OP, I also have asthma and am allergic to cats. I generally take a hit off my inhaler once a day and pop an allergy pill each day when I visit home. My folks have cats and I love them. Anyone who judges me for using meds to help me breathe is a lunatic, and anyone who judges you for using meds to help you through your day is likewise.

A lot of brilliant people worked hard to invent something that could help people like me to be happier and healthier, and all I need to do is take this tiny pill before bedtime. Holy poo poo, we live in a miraculous age! To think if I was born at any point in history before this, I'd be seen as a broken human being and ostracized or "treated" with archaic torture devices... We are so, so lucky to be living in a time when help is becoming more and more available.

Neurology continues to advance, medicine continues its breakthroughs and you stand to benefit from its efforts. There is no goddamn shame to be had.

Thanks a lot for this (in particular), and all the other messages. It all seems oddly clear. I'm due to begin taking 10mg of Lexapro, and to have a check-in with my psych ten days from the day I begin taking it - unless I react badly to it. We'll see how that goes. I'm still a bit nervous about whether I'll ever be able to go off the medicine, but I guess that's a problem to deal with if/when I get better. About the shame, Das Boo, you said it very well. It doesn't make any sense, wouldn't be applied in other contexts. Down the rabbit hole...

AlbieQuirky
Oct 9, 2012



College Slice

I have been on and off various antidepressants for 30+ years. I used to cycle like two years on, three years off. It just meant being mindful about when I needed to go back on (usually disrupted sleep and nightmares were my first indicator that a depressive episode was coming).

Now I just stay on Cymbalta because it also helps with pain.

Pudding Space
Mar 19, 2014


My experience is that SSRIs (and SNRIs) don't make you 'happy'. They put a clamp on depressive symptoms. The first SSRI I was put on was paroxetine, about 20 years ago. The side effects were a reasonable trade-off for me at the time, but they were significant. Make no mistake - these are psychotropic drugs - and it may take some time to get the appropriate variant and dosage correct. They will not alter you in a way that you are not aware of, unless you are unfortunate enough to have an adverse reaction. Your psychiatrist might start with a 'modern' SNRI like [des]venlafaxine.

Don't despair over taking anti-depressants. If used appropriately they can give you enough room to breathe and get on top of things. It's possible that you could reach this state *without* anti-depressants, but when your thoughts are in such a dark place it's hard to maintain perspective. Your momentary thoughts of suicidal ideation (if I'm reading you right) are probably more about a craving for some relief - but I'm treading on dangerous ground by trying to second-guess your state of mind.

And while I'm treading there I would recommend: 1) no alcohol. 2) exercise.

I really don't want to be more specific, as it risks being anecdotal; but these two factors are something you can control immediately, and have no down-sides. They also overlap with 'mindfulness' and CBT if you want to pursue long-term psychological changes. Sometimes, our reactions to the world are not irrational - uncertainty about the future, an online culture of distraction, an unexamined lack of purpose or goals, etc. Remember that feelings are temporary, as impractical as that may sound at the time.

Fruits of the sea
Dec 1, 2010


SSRI's demand a fair bit of patience. They can take a while to kick in, it can take several tries to find one that works or doesn't have bad side effects and it takes a while to wean oneself off, if switching medication or taking a pause.

In my own experience, medicating has been a big help, but it also went hand in hand with helping to transition to a lifestyle that didn't trigger episodes for me. This is highly individual of course, but it should ideally be part of a holistic solution, so good on you for going to therapy already. Living without depression is worth all the work.

1st medication for me killed libido completely so I stopped that.
The second (and third) worked great for me. Too well in fact, as it turns out I have bipolar disorder, not depression, so they triggered manic episodes.
The fourth which isn't actually an SSRI since my brain worms are of a different type worked ok, and it was right around that time I wound up in a 9 to 5 job and a stable relationship.

I'm off medicine now, as it turns out a consistent sleep schedule, no crazy partying and a sane and stable partner do wonders for my mental state. Wish I had figured that out back when I was 20, but there's only one way to learn.

I haven't ruled out taking medication again if my lifestyle has to change for some reason. Having kids would probably mess up my sleep for example.

I'll second avoiding alchohol when taking SSRI's, they do not play well together.

fautdemieux
Jan 12, 2006
Pain or damage don't end the world. Or despair or fucking beatings. The world ends when you're dead. Until then, you got more punishment in store. Stand it like a man... and give some back.

Thanks a lot for the advice, everyone. I've started on medicine today, will be checking in with my psychiatrist soon, and will also be meeting with a cognitive behavioural therapist in the near future. I'm not much of an alcohol drinker, but I will do my best to incorporate more exercise into my routine beyond long walks.

Huntersoninski
Feb 15, 2008

kill kill kill kill
kill me now


Good luck op, and good job. I remember lexapro was pretty effective for me, I just had a few issues related to the timing of doses.

fautdemieux posted:

I'm still a bit nervous about whether I'll ever be able to go off the medicine

To back up a bit, it was helpful for me to remember, I can always go off the medicine. Even if my doctor advises otherwise, I can stop the minute I don't want to anymore. You're not relinquishing your ability to make that choice by agreeing to take meds. It may not be the best choice or the recommended choice, but it's your choice. This is something you're doing for yourself and you are calling the shots.

Huntersoninski
Feb 15, 2008

kill kill kill kill
kill me now


Also, I'd advise keeping a journal to track how you're feeling and how your moods change as you adjust to the meds. I also have a page in my notebook I use to keep track of what meds I've taken and why I stopped each of them. Obviously your doctor will also keep track of that, but it's been useful for me to have on hand.

fautdemieux
Jan 12, 2006
Pain or damage don't end the world. Or despair or fucking beatings. The world ends when you're dead. Until then, you got more punishment in store. Stand it like a man... and give some back.

Huntersoninski posted:

Also, I'd advise keeping a journal to track how you're feeling and how your moods change as you adjust to the meds. I also have a page in my notebook I use to keep track of what meds I've taken and why I stopped each of them. Obviously your doctor will also keep track of that, but it's been useful for me to have on hand.

Thanks, I've just begun to do this. First entry was a bit of a missed opportunity, since after I took the medicine in the morning I started out the day feeling a bit nauseous, and quite sad, but then got semi-positive news on the job front (the only part of my life that works) that was a bit of a boost and which may have skewed the impact of the meds - I think?

cda
Jan 2, 2010


fautdemieux posted:

Thanks, I've just begun to do this. First entry was a bit of a missed opportunity, since after I took the medicine in the morning I started out the day feeling a bit nauseous, and quite sad, but then got semi-positive news on the job front (the only part of my life that works) that was a bit of a boost and which may have skewed the impact of the meds - I think?

A fairly common thing is that when you start taking meds you get significantly more aware/vigilant of your body and mental state; this itself is a confounding variable in understanding how the meds are affecting you. Typically, a single dose of your standard SSRI will not have an immediate effect because it needs to get into your bloodstream and the doses typically start out low. It is more likely that after a few days you will start to feel and/or notice an effect but it's also quite possible that because you're paying a lot of attention, you will notice stuff that you normally wouldn't, which could include effects of the medication, but also stuff that was generally present beforehand but which was just kind of the "background noise" so you didn't even notice it.

ANyway, all this is why a journal is good because the real goal here isn't a good day or a bad day, but raising the baseline to a better week-to-week average.

Huntersoninski
Feb 15, 2008

kill kill kill kill
kill me now


Nausea is normal for starting lexapro I think. Just make sure you are eating even if it's hard to force yourself. I think it took like a week for that particular effect to calm down for me.

fautdemieux
Jan 12, 2006
Pain or damage don't end the world. Or despair or fucking beatings. The world ends when you're dead. Until then, you got more punishment in store. Stand it like a man... and give some back.

Huntersoninski posted:

Nausea is normal for starting lexapro I think. Just make sure you are eating even if it's hard to force yourself. I think it took like a week for that particular effect to calm down for me.

About that, one of the reasons I started to get worried in the first place is that - honestly without any deliberate effort on my part - I've lost 15kg (more than 30 pounds) in the last month. I still have an appetite, and took the medicine this morning with a small meal, but somehow, this doesn't feel sustainable. One of the possible side-effects of the medicine that I'm taking is a loss of appetite - so how can I distinguish between the 'previous, depressed' loss of appetite and this one?

Don't want to keep this thread going forever and ever - everyone's been so helpful - and ultimately, I'm alone in this struggle. It just feels a lot like fumbling around in the dark, hoping for a solution, even though I think I'm doing everything 'by the book.'

fautdemieux
Jan 12, 2006
Pain or damage don't end the world. Or despair or fucking beatings. The world ends when you're dead. Until then, you got more punishment in store. Stand it like a man... and give some back.

fautdemieux posted:

About that, one of the reasons I started to get worried in the first place is that - honestly without any deliberate effort on my part - I've lost 15kg (more than 30 pounds) in the last month. I still have an appetite, and took the medicine this morning with a small meal, but somehow, this doesn't feel sustainable. One of the possible side-effects of the medicine that I'm taking is a loss of appetite - so how can I distinguish between the 'previous, depressed' loss of appetite and this one?

Don't want to keep this thread going forever and ever - everyone's been so helpful - and ultimately, I'm alone in this struggle. It just feels a lot like fumbling around in the dark, hoping for a solution, even though I think I'm doing everything 'by the book.'

Sorry, last message should read 'in the last nine months." It's nice being back at my postgrad weight, but if I'd lost 15 kg in the last month alone I'd be typing from a hospital bed!

Huntersoninski
Feb 15, 2008

kill kill kill kill
kill me now


The lack of appetite caused by meds is, in my personal experience, more like forgetting a meal because you were busy rather than skipping a meal because you're too depressed to bother. If after a week the nausea symptoms aren't gone, I'd say it's worth a chat with the doctor. And if, after things level out (as they hopefully will) you find yourself still losing weight you don't want to lose or worried about your eating habits, that may just be a sign it's time to try a different medicine. I wish I could be more specific but I was only on lexapro for like a few months I think. But in general, you shouldn't be losing alarming amounts of weight and the idea of eating shouldn't turn you off. It's more just not feeling hungry when you normally would. And that too may fade with time, that's the trouble with these drugs, they impact every person differently because each brain is different.

Chat as much as you want. It's true this is a personal endeavor but it's still not 100% correct to say you're alone. Take the number of people willing to post to help as a sign that the thread isn't unwelcome or unwarranted.

Huntersoninski
Feb 15, 2008

kill kill kill kill
kill me now


And it's not just meds they have to adjust, but doses. I failed like four meds before we realized that I, despite being a full grown if shorter than average adult, do much much better on smaller, child-sized doses for whatever reason. I was weaning off an ssri and so i spent a couple weeks on gradually smaller doses, and on those smaller doses, I finally felt like the meds were actually working for me. So from there we scaled doses down and the results were better still, just gradually working down the list until we found the best possible fit. The science has come a long way but it's still trial and error a lot of times and you shouldn't feel afraid to raise these issues with your doctor. Try to be patient, with the process and with yourself.

Fruits of the sea
Dec 1, 2010


cda posted:

A fairly common thing is that when you start taking meds you get significantly more aware/vigilant of your body and mental state; this itself is a confounding variable in understanding how the meds are affecting you. Typically, a single dose of your standard SSRI will not have an immediate effect because it needs to get into your bloodstream and the doses typically start out low. It is more likely that after a few days you will start to feel and/or notice an effect but it's also quite possible that because you're paying a lot of attention, you will notice stuff that you normally wouldn't, which could include effects of the medication, but also stuff that was generally present beforehand but which was just kind of the "background noise" so you didn't even notice it.

ANyway, all this is why a journal is good because the real goal here isn't a good day or a bad day, but raising the baseline to a better week-to-week average.

Yeah, this is definitely a thing.

I was also confounded by some mood swings after the first couple weeks (sadness, anger) and while some of it was probably the medication, a lot of it was dealing with self esteem issues and memories of past events which I had been suppressing. Depression can for some people also mean keeping a lid on thoughts and emotions that they have trouble dealing with. So in my case, a better general mood meant I was finally confronting how much I blamed myself for being depressed and also the outsized importance I had assigned to setbacks in my life. Another good reason to keep a journal. By writing stuff down and going to therapy, you can help provide some context for your moods.

fautdemieux
Jan 12, 2006
Pain or damage don't end the world. Or despair or fucking beatings. The world ends when you're dead. Until then, you got more punishment in store. Stand it like a man... and give some back.

Thanks for all the advice. I'm on day 2 of the medicine, and can't complain much. A bit of nausea, but still able to eat, a bit of emptiness (but then that pre-dated the medicine). My emotional range seems to have reduced (for the time being at least, and this pre-dated the medicine, I find it extremely hard to laugh out loud). I'm writing all of these things down, and let's see if some sort of pattern starts to emerge.

Cached Money
Apr 11, 2010

respect the game and the game will respect you back


SSRI's helped me change my life for the better, I've been on them for over a year and I'm back in school, doing pretty alright, everyday life is way easier. Might actually have to up the dose soon because I feel sort of diminishing effects from them right now but other than that it's been good with no real major side effects.

fautdemieux
Jan 12, 2006
Pain or damage don't end the world. Or despair or fucking beatings. The world ends when you're dead. Until then, you got more punishment in store. Stand it like a man... and give some back.

I was just going to update this post. I've been on for a week, and for the first 4-5 days I felt a significant difference - was more alert, life seemed more 'bright', somehow, there wasn't really a day, or even a long moment, when I felt 'down.'' But today - for no reason, I can't see a clear trigger - it's like everything snapped. I'm feeling blue, back to listening to old Radiohead and Jeff Buckley, lethargic, can't focus. I thought the whole point of taking this medicine was that it would reduce the ups and downs, but most probably I'm not thinking about this clearly.

Huntersoninski
Feb 15, 2008

kill kill kill kill
kill me now


It's gonna take more than one week for it to balance out, unfortunately. I'd you think it's making you feel worse, definitely call your doc, but this might just be a bump in the road on the way to it working.

subpar anachronism
Jan 15, 2005

I think I'll try drinkin' tonight.


You might have been a little manic for the first week. Keep with it.

Antivehicular
Dec 30, 2011

I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving
And something has got to give


Ultra Carp

There'll be bad days even on SSRIs; the goal of the medication is to lessen their frequency and severity, not remove them entirely. Keep track of your feelings, but give it time.

Cached Money
Apr 11, 2010

respect the game and the game will respect you back


fautdemieux posted:

I was just going to update this post. I've been on for a week, and for the first 4-5 days I felt a significant difference - was more alert, life seemed more 'bright', somehow, there wasn't really a day, or even a long moment, when I felt 'down.'' But today - for no reason, I can't see a clear trigger - it's like everything snapped. I'm feeling blue, back to listening to old Radiohead and Jeff Buckley, lethargic, can't focus. I thought the whole point of taking this medicine was that it would reduce the ups and downs, but most probably I'm not thinking about this clearly.
Yeah, this is common, the first week I was on Zoloft drinking coffee felt almost like snorting amphetamine. I never had much of a dip but just keep taking the pills and it all evens out soon.

fautdemieux
Jan 12, 2006
Pain or damage don't end the world. Or despair or fucking beatings. The world ends when you're dead. Until then, you got more punishment in store. Stand it like a man... and give some back.

Thanks everyone. My family (mother, cousin and uncle on my mother's side) has a history with clinical depression and szchizophrenia, and I'm hoping against all hope that things will get better for me.

Cached Money
Apr 11, 2010

respect the game and the game will respect you back


fautdemieux posted:

Thanks everyone. My family (mother, cousin and uncle on my mother's side) has a history with clinical depression and szchizophrenia, and I'm hoping against all hope that things will get better for me.

Keep on fighting, friend!

DamnitGannet
Apr 8, 2007



I've been on an SSRI since childhood and the difference between me taking it consistently and me not taking it are night and day. It's good that you're taking steps to help yourself.

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Drunk Driver Dad
Feb 18, 2005



Lexapro is probably the thing that works best for me so far, although that's saying a lot. My mood hasn't really improved much on it, but it does help my anxiety, and after being on it a couple of weeks, it's basically 0 side effects. I tried mirtazapine with it recently, and while it seemed to help with depression at first, it completely undermined the lexapro and my anxiety came back pretty bad, so I had to stop taking it. My diet has been lovely, so I'm hoping working on that will help me out. I already work out and generally active during the day at my job.

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