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Feb 14, 2012

You cheated not only the game, but yourself.
But most of all, you cheated BABA

Like, articles or blogs I can read. I'm working slowly on reading "The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma" and it's really good but I just need something more to read to help deal with this. I got triggered yesterday by doing homework and went from crying to couldn't stop crying to feeling fragile and like I'm going to cry at any moment and it's really irritating because there's other stuff I want to focus on.

Today has been a weird ride between being okay, then being depressed (despite doing my usual light box / medicine / going outside regimen) then being close to crying and literally all I want to do is have my brain stop so I can sort and read my book collection in peace.

PS god it sucks being triggered it's happened before but not in like, six months and it felt like once it started it was just me on the tracks being run over by this train of hurt emotions.


Jun 1, 2001
Up shit creek.

This would be my general suggestion for anyone remotely in a situation like you, although I'm not sure I've had any success in getting anyone to properly do it.

First learn wim hof breathing and do it once, twice or 3 times a day if it helps. But at least once:

right after finishing a session, close your eyes and say "I love you Strix" (or whatever your name is) over and over and over. Sink deeper and deeper and keep saying it. Any memories that come into your head, focus on them with love. You can do this for 15 minutes after wim, 30 minutes, an hour whatever. The love brings the hate to the surface and pushes it out. Don't resist. Let it release. At some point you want to meditate "I love you" the person or place involved in your PTSD incident, which you won't want to do but that is what will help you heal.

If you are too closed off and this doesn't work, look into MDMA (to be approved next year for PTSD) and psilocybin for therapeutic purposes (check out the podcast "Inside Eyes".)

You can return to this love meditation therapy in between mdma or psilocybin sessions and it might work then.

Bottom line you need to love yourself. Saturate yourself with love. Basically all human disfunction is rooted in a lack of self love.

Oct 5, 2012

I tried dealing with cptsd symptoms by myself for a while, but it only worked to reduce frequency and felt like a bandaid fix. Are you looking for online help because of financial reasons? EMDR therapy was what really worked to put a cap on it for me, so if you have any ability to even do telehealth, I highly recommend it.

The psilocybin mentioned earlier was my DIY fix to get me safe and stable, but just be really cautious with mind altering substances. Addiction and ptsd really go hand in hand, and you don't want to go down the road of masking symptoms.

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