- Prof. Crocodile
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if you guys let me post last i promise that i will give you all fly rear end whips and steve harvey suits once i am a billionaire
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Sep 18, 2020 03:31
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Apr 27, 2024 04:42
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- Prof. Crocodile
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A billion dollars! Finally I can buy all those corn thrones I've had my eye on.
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Apr 18, 2021 02:53
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- Prof. Crocodile
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just gonna set up this here diving board, post in the thread and then leap off to swim in the money Scrooge McDuck style without checking cause i'm just gonna assume i've won
can’t believe stoner sloth fuckin died
rip to a real one
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Apr 18, 2021 23:36
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- Prof. Crocodile
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stoner sloth ghost riding the whip posting the 
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Apr 25, 2021 14:44
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- Prof. Crocodile
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Hello yes. Is this Crisp and Juicy? Good. I would like to order one billion dollars worth of rotisserie chicken. Where did I get the money? Let's just say I was the last person to post in a certain thread, heh heh.
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May 1, 2021 15:26
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- Prof. Crocodile
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Hello is this the Bitcoin store? I'm doing well, thanks for asking. Listen, I would like to buy $1 billion in Bitcoins please. Yes, you guessed it, I did in fact post in that one thread.
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May 13, 2021 03:23
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- Prof. Crocodile
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hello is this the woods? I am doing well, thanks for asking. I would like to make an appointment to bury $1 billion in gold. where am I getting $1 billion in gold? don’t you worry about that, it’s all taken care of.
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May 13, 2021 12:26
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- Prof. Crocodile
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hello yes is this the booze store? I’m doing well thanks for asking. listen I would like to buy one billion dollars worth of booze.
where did I get the money? well let’s just say that I was the last poster in a certain thread, heh heh heh.
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Oct 28, 2021 14:21
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- Prof. Crocodile
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hello yes is this Jeff bezos? I’m doing well, thanks for asking. anyway I would like to purchase a ride on a space shuttle that leaks pee, sitting next to William shatner, who probably also leaks pee.
a billion dollars? yes I can afford that.
well yes, actually, I did in fact get a billion dollars from that one byob thread. that’s quite astute of you.
oh that’s right, all the spying through devices and stuff. well I’ll see you in space anyway.
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Oct 29, 2021 14:54
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- Prof. Crocodile
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hello yes is this zil? I’m fine, thanks for asking. look i want to buy that axe you were going to give zurtilik for one million dollars. oh I know, but I don’t have to worry about money anymore. well… let’s just say I was the last poster in a certain thread, heh heh.
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Oct 29, 2021 16:39
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- Prof. Crocodile
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hello yes is this Zach baggins? I’m fine, thanks. listen I want to do a full-blown ghost investigation with optional exorcism if needed. no it’s not in a house, it’s in an Internet subforum.
a billion dollars, you say? well yes in fact I can afford that, ever since I posted in that one thread.
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Oct 31, 2021 19:10
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- Prof. Crocodile
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Touching the billionaire square.
touching
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Nov 1, 2021 20:00
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- Prof. Crocodile
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Touching the billionaire square.
nlt because I won a billion dollars
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Nov 1, 2021 20:47
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- Prof. Crocodile
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hello is this the ocean? i'm doing well, thanks for asking. listen, i would like to buy all of the shrimp because i am going to a seafood restaurant with my friend tomorrow, and i want to make that one joke from seinfeld about the ocean being out of shrimp, but maybe then there is a news story on tv in the background about the ocean actually being out of shrimp to make the joke extra impactful. a billion dollars you say? yes actually i can afford that. haha yes. yes, i did in fact win that one thread in byob, i see you heard about that.
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Nov 7, 2021 06:03
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- Prof. Crocodile
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hello yes, is this the lottery store? i'm fine, thanks. listen i want to buy one billion dollars of lottery tickets. of course i have a billion dollars. didn't you hear about that time i posted in that thread?
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Nov 11, 2021 01:45
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- Prof. Crocodile
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If we were sensible about this we would organise together to have one person post the final reply, bribe a mod to close the thread, and then split the money.
But BYOB is not a trusting lot and instead we are going to spin this wheel until inflation makes a billion seem like change.
e: Plus I don't know about you but ~10 million just isn't enough. I want Ferraris in every colour. Every colour. I don't just mean the standard range of colours on offer. So it's the full billi or nothing for me.
this sounds like communism to me and I won’t stand for it in a thread devoted to lucre
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Nov 11, 2021 21:12
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- Prof. Crocodile
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30 unread posts? looks like all the suckers have worn themselves out by posting too early—as always. time to swoop in and effortlessly claim my billion dollars. 
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Nov 16, 2021 15:27
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- Prof. Crocodile
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ok ok i get it
playing a prank on old sherbert, making me think i'm not going to get the billion
very funny byob
you should have seen the look on your face. priceless.
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Nov 16, 2021 21:22
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- Prof. Crocodile
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hello yes, is this the thanksgiving department I’m doing great, thanks. I would like to buy tiny turkey dinners and tiny pilgrim hats for all the kittens in the world. hmm. really? a billion dollars you say? oh yes I can afford it, thanks to a certain thread in which I posted last.
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Nov 21, 2021 04:11
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- Prof. Crocodile
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maybe the point of this thread is just the posting
it’s this kind of wish-washy commitment that allowed me to make this, the final post of the thread, and become a billionaire.
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Nov 22, 2021 17:18
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- Prof. Crocodile
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hello yes. Is this netflix? I am doing well, thanks. listen i want to make a show about a squid game, but instead of some bs reality game show thing, it's about a game being played by actual squids, to give the squid-craving public the squid content they so rightly deserve. mm-hm. okay. no the squids would not be animated in any way, they would be real squids that have been trained to act or have prior acting experience from television--although i suppose a stage-trained squid might work. mm-hm. okay. and just how expensive? why yes i can provide a billion dollars worth of funding, now that i am the last poster in that one byob thread.
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Nov 23, 2021 18:30
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- Prof. Crocodile
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I still like posting 
not me. i’m only in it for the money.
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Nov 26, 2021 16:07
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- Prof. Crocodile
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But who decides who is a poster and who is a lurker?
only a lurker sympathizer would ask such a question! 
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Nov 26, 2021 21:54
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- Prof. Crocodile
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if mothman gets access to a billion dollars, no sweater on earth is safe 
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Nov 27, 2021 22:22
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- Prof. Crocodile
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no no, we are taking about my elderly Jewish neighbors the Mothmans.
they are great folks. real salt-of-the-earth. and now that I’ve won a billion dollars I’ll get them that place in del boca vista that they’ve always wanted.
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Nov 28, 2021 03:45
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- Prof. Crocodile
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not me, you have to pay me to think
I’ll be happy to kick a few bucks your way, for you see I am now a billionaire. 
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Dec 3, 2021 17:08
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- Prof. Crocodile
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hey everyone i have some bad news. it turns out that, improbable as this may sound, i did not actually become a billionaire the other day. but don't feel too bad for me, I have a funny feeling that i'll become a billionaire any minute now...
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Dec 5, 2021 06:34
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- Prof. Crocodile
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Posting from the past but now somehow
oh hey jinh. haven't seen you around the yob in a while. did you hear that i just became a billionaire?
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Jan 5, 2022 14:47
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- Prof. Crocodile
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this picture is an accurate representation of me, a billionaire.
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Jan 5, 2022 23:32
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- Prof. Crocodile
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well now I feel bad for andoman since it is i who have made the last post in this thread.
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Jan 12, 2022 00:11
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- Prof. Crocodile
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They are out there man, just waiting to take our billions. 
correction: just waiting to take *my* billions
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Mar 16, 2022 15:35
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- Prof. Crocodile
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But enough about my grandma's cosmetic surgery. 
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May 3, 2022 13:17
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- Prof. Crocodile
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heh heh heh. in with the last post before the thread gets closed. what a maneuver!
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May 22, 2022 18:51
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- Prof. Crocodile
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Hello yes. Is this Jeffrey O'Yospos? I'm doing great thanks for asking. Look I would like to bribe you to make me an admin of something awful dot com, so that I can close a certain thread immediately after posting, effectively making myself the final poster in that thread. What's that? One billion dollars? Oh no, that price is perfectly reasonable, heh heh.
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Aug 1, 2022 17:41
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- Prof. Crocodile
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I would simply withdraw the money from my account while I had the chance
And forgo the precious, precious compound interest? You're not fit to be a billionaire!
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Aug 2, 2022 17:30
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- Prof. Crocodile
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Hello yes. Is this the climate change people? I'm doing great, how are you? Good to hear it. OK listen, I would like to fabricate a giant version of one of those spray-bottle-fan things that can be placed on the moon and directed at earth in order to cool it off. Are you the right people to help me with this, or do I need to call the moon department first? OK. OK. When you say 'expensive' how much are we talking exactly? One billion dollars, eh? You know what, that's not a problem at all, because I am the last poster in this one thread.
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Aug 8, 2022 17:27
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- Prof. Crocodile
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so many posts in this thread recently. if i didn't know better, i'd say that you all actually *wanted* to become billionaires.
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Nov 1, 2022 20:21
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- Prof. Crocodile
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i completely forgot about this thread. fortunately i remembered just in time to be the last poster, and become--through unspecified means--a billionaire.
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Jan 4, 2023 22:09
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- Prof. Crocodile
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444 unread posts. surely a good omen. time to buy one billion dollars worth of nfts.
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Aug 4, 2023 13:23
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Apr 27, 2024 04:42
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- Prof. Crocodile
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The premise is that you might get chain probed for posting? Only a fool would post in such a thread.
(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Nov 11, 2023 16:42
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Sep 18, 2020 03:31
