A Fancy Hat posted:

FROM THE DESK OF DONALD J TRUMP

It was at 6:31 am today that I took a Powerful Dump, the likes of which the United States has not seen in "Many Years". Because Sleepy Joe Biden has been attacking the American Toilet, it took 10-15 flushes to "Get it All". Very disturbing development, and Not a Good Sign for the USA!

I can still hear Crazy Bernie Sanders inside the bathroom wall, scratching away and telling me "Socialism is Good!" No, Bernie, It's not!

Lifespan posted:

Sadly just got confirmation that a long time friend of mine is dumb. Asked if he got his vax and he said "No, it was rushed." After I explained that actually it was not rushed, just prioritized and fast tracked through the government sign off aspect, he then explained he "couldn't take 2 weeks off because he has to provide for his family." His family is only his wife who has a full time government position she has admitted to just remotely sleeping through for the last year and he just spent his stimulus check on a $1200 guitar. But to drive this further, his job provides him with PTO and as we all know... getting a vaccine does not require 2 weeks off, maybe a day or two after the second shot. After explaining that as well, he just said that he has been exposed to it dozens of times now so isn't worried. And I have not talked to him since and have no plans to.

Xenocides posted:

https://twitter.com/owillis/status/1402725706933616645

Vitamin Me posted:

Ok I overreacted a bit, thanks for all the replies

Time_pants posted:

like an accordion filled with salsa

Xenocides posted:

https://twitter.com/nypost/status/1421112185170931722

Frank Frank posted:

Holy loving poo poo he banned vaccination? This is next-level stupid.

Xenocides posted:

https://twitter.com/StevenTDennis/status/1423754850383319046

Xenocides posted:

https://twitter.com/OccupyDemocrats/status/1424191674922590211

LOL

Okay, this feels good. Took me a while to confirm but yeah…..it true.

Gutter Phoenix posted:

I feel like poo poo really went off the rails in early 2016 when those Bundy scumbags invaded a national wildlife preserve, occupied it for 40 days, and were set free by a jury of especially dumb Oregonians.

That should have been a huge red flag that Trumpy bear might actually be elected president.

Mushika posted:

If my 92 (vaccinated) grandfather gets COVID, that's it for him.

Gutter Phoenix posted:

Pot Smoke Phoenix posted:

https://i.imgur.com/fcHfB0M.mp4

American Ethical posted:

I owe my Trump-supporting friends an apology. I’ve been critical of the Trump presidency these last four years, and am still exhausted from the experience. But to be fair, President Trump wasn’t that bad, other than when he incited an insurrection against the government, mismanaged a pandemic that killed nearly half a million Americans, separated children from their families, lost those children in the bureaucracy, tear-gassed peaceful protesters on Lafayette Square so he could hold a photo op holding a Bible in front of a church, tried to block all Muslims from entering the country, got impeached, got impeached again, had the worst jobs record of any president in modern history, pressured Ukraine to dig dirt on Joe Biden, fired the FBI director for investigating his ties to Russia, bragged about firing the FBI director on TV, took Vladimir Putin’s word over the US intelligence community, diverted military funding to build his wall, caused the longest government shutdown in US history, called Black Lives Matter a “symbol of hate,” lied nearly 30,000 times, banned transgender people from serving in the military, ejected reporters from the White House briefing room who asked tough questions, vetoed the defense funding bill because it renamed military bases named for Confederate soldiers, refused to release his tax returns, increased the national debt by nearly $8 trillion, had three of the highest annual trade deficits in U.S. history, called veterans and soldiers who died in combat losers and suckers, coddled the leader of Saudi Arabia after he ordered the execution and dismembering of a US-based journalist, refused to concede the 2020 election, hired his unqualified daughter and son-in-law to work in the White House, walked out of an interview with Lesley Stahl, called neo-Nazis “very fine people,” suggested that people should inject bleach into their bodies to fight COVID, abandoned our allies the Kurds to Turkey, pushed through massive tax cuts for the wealthiest but balked at helping working Americans, incited anti-lockdown protestors in several states at the height of the pandemic, withdrew the US from the Paris climate accords, withdrew the US from the Iranian nuclear deal, withdrew the US from the Trans Pacific Partnership which was designed to block China’s advances, insulted his own Cabinet members on Twitter, pushed the leader of Montenegro out of the way during a photo op, failed to reiterate US commitment to defending NATO allies, called Haiti and African nations “shithole” countries, called the city of Baltimore the “worst in the nation,” claimed that he single handedly brought back the phrase “Merry Christmas” even though it hadn’t gone anywhere, forced his Cabinet members to praise him publicly like some cult leader believed he should be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, berated and belittled his hand-picked Attorney General when he recused himself from the Russia probe, suggested the US should buy Greenland, colluded with Mitch McConnell to push through federal judges and two Supreme Court justices after supporting efforts to prevent his predecessor from appointing judges, repeatedly called the media “enemies of the people,” claimed that if we tested fewer people for COVID we’d have fewer cases, violated the emoluments clause, thought that Nambia was a country, told Bob Woodward in private that the coronavirus was a big deal but then downplayed it in public, called his exceedingly faithful vice president a “p---y” for following the Constitution, nearly got us into a war with Iran after threatening them by tweet, nominated a corrupt head of the EPA, nominated a corrupt head of HHS, nominated a corrupt head of the Interior Department, nominated a corrupt head of the USDA, praised dictators and authoritarians around the world while criticizing allies, refused to allow the presidential transition to begin, insulted war hero John McCain – even after his death, spent an obscene amount of time playing golf after criticizing Barack Obama for playing (far less) golf while president, falsely claimed that he won the 2016 popular vote, called the Muslim mayor of London a “stone cold loser,” falsely claimed that he turned down being Time’s Man of the Year, considered firing special counsel Robert Mueller on several occasions, mocked wearing face masks to guard against transmitting COVID, locked Congress out of its constitutional duty to confirm Cabinet officials by hiring acting ones, used a racist dog whistle by calling COVID the “China virus,” hired and associated with numerous shady figures that were eventually convicted of federal offenses including his campaign manager and national security adviser, pardoned several of his shady associates, gave the Presidential Medal of Freedom to two congressman who amplified his batshit crazy conspiracy theories, got into telephone fight with the leader of Australia(!), had a Secretary of State who called him a moron, forced his press secretary to claim without merit that his was the largest inauguration crowd in history, botched the COVID vaccine rollout, tweeted so much dangerous propaganda that Twitter eventually banned him, charged the Secret Service jacked-up rates at his properties, constantly interrupted Joe Biden in their first presidential debate, claimed that COVID would “magically” disappear, called a U.S. Senator “Pocahontas,” used his Twitter account to blast Nordstrom when it stopped selling Ivanka’s merchandise, opened up millions of pristine federal lands to development and drilling, got into a losing tariff war with China that forced US taxpayers to bail out farmers, claimed that his losing tariff war was a win for the US, ignored or didn’t even take part in daily intelligence briefings, blew off honoring American war dead in France because it was raining, redesigned Air Force One to look like the Trump Shuttle, got played by Kim Jung Un and his “love letters,” threatened to go after social media companies in clear violation of the Constitution, botched the response to Hurricane Maria in Puerto Rico, threw paper towels at Puerto Ricans when he finally visited them, pressured the governor and secretary of state of Georgia to “find” him votes, thought that the Virgin islands had a President, drew on a map with a Sharpie to justify his inaccurate tweet that Alabama was threatened by a hurricane, allowed White House staff to use personal email accounts for official businesses after blasting Hillary Clinton for doing the same thing, rolled back regulations that protected the public from mercury and asbestos, pushed regulators to waste time studying snake-oil remedies for COVID, rolled back regulations that stopped coal companies from dumping waste into rivers, held blatant campaign rallies at the White House, tried to take away millions of Americans’ health insurance because the law was named for a Black man, refused to attend his successors’ inauguration, nominated the worst Education Secretary in history, threatened judges who didn’t do what he wanted, attacked Dr. Anthony Fauci, promised that Mexico would pay for the wall (it didn’t), allowed political hacks to overrule government scientists on major reports on climate change and other issues, struggled navigating a ramp after claiming his opponent was feeble, called an African-American Congresswoman “low IQ,” threatened to withhold federal aid from states and cities with Democratic leaders, went ahead with rallies filled with maskless supporters in the middle of a pandemic, claimed that legitimate investigations of his wrongdoing were “witch hunts,” seemed to demonstrate a belief that there were airports during the American Revolution, demanded “total loyalty” from the FBI director, praised a conspiracy theory that Democrats are Satanic pedophiles, completely gutted the Voice of America, placed a political hack in charge of the Postal Service, claimed without evidence that the Obama administration bugged Trump Tower, suggested that the US should allow more people from places like Norway into the country, suggested that COVID wasn’t that bad because he recovered with the help of top government doctors and treatments not available to the public, overturned energy conservation standards that even industry supported, reduced the number of refugees the US accepts, insulted various members of Congress and the media with infantile nicknames, gave Rush Limbaugh a Presidential medal of Freedom at the State of the Union address, named as head of federal personnel a 29-year old who’d previously been fired from the White House for allegations of financial improprieties, eliminated the White House office of pandemic respon used soldiers as campaign props, fired any advisor who made the mistake of disagreeing with him, demanded the Pentagon throw him a Soviet-style military parade, hired a poo poo ton of white nationalists, politicized the civil service, did absolutely nothing after Russia hacked US, falsely said the Boy Scouts called him to say his bizarre Jamboree speech was the best speech ever given to the Scouts, claimed that Black people would overrun the suburbs if Biden won, insulted reporters of color, insulted women reporters, insulted women reporters of color, suggested he was fine with China’s oppression of the Uighurs, attacked the Supreme Court when it ruled against him, summoned Pennsylvania state legislative leaders to the White House to pressure them to overturn the election, spent countless hours every day watching Fox News, refused to allow his administration to comply with Congressional subpoenas, hired Rudy Giuliani as his lawyer, tried to punish Amazon because the Jeff Bezos-owned Washington Post wrote negative stories about him, acted as if the Attorney General of the United States was his personal attorney, attempted to get the federal government to defend him in a libel lawsuit from a women who accused him of sexual assault, held private meetings with Vladimir Putin without staff present, didn’t disclose his private meetings with Vladimir Putin so that the US had to find out via Russian media, stopped holding press briefings for months at a time, “ordered” US companies to leave China even though he has no such power, led a political party that couldn’t even be bothered to draft a policy platform, claimed preposterously that Article II of the Constitution gave him absolute powers, tried to pressure the U.K. to hold the British Open at his golf course, suggested that the government nuke hurricanes, suggested that wind turbines cause cancer, said that he had a special aptitude for science, fired the head of election cyber security after he said that the 2020 election was secure, blurted out classified information to Russian officials, tried to force the G7 to hold their meeting at his failing golf resort in Florida, fired the acting attorney general when she refused to go along with his unconstitutional Muslim travel ban, hired Stephen Miller, openly discussed national security issues in the dining room at Mar-a-Lago where everyone could hear them, interfered with plans to relocate the FBI because a new development there might compete with his hotel, abandoned Iraqi refugees who’d helped the U.S. during the war, tried to get Russia back into the G7, held a COVID super spreader event in the Rose Garden, seemed to believe that Frederick Douglass is still alive, lost 60 election fraud cases in court including before judges he had nominated, falsely claimed that factories were reopening when they weren’t, shamelessly exploited terror attacks in Europe to justify his anti-immigrant policies, still hasn’t come up with a healthcare plan, still hasn’t come up with an infrastructure plan despite repeated “Infrastructure", forced Secret Service agents to drive him around Walter Reed while contagious with COVID, told the Proud Boys to “stand back and stand by,” hosed up the Census, withdrew the U.S. from the World Health Organization in the middle of a pandemic, did so few of his duties that his press staff were forced to state on his daily schedule “President Trump will work from early in the morning until late in the evening. He will make many calls and have many meetings,” allowed his staff to repeatedly violate the Hatch Act, seemed not to know that Abraham Lincoln was a Republican, stood before sacred CIA wall of heroes and bragged about his election win, constantly claimed he was treated worse than any president which presumably includes four that were assassinated and his predecessor whose legitimacy and birthplace were challenged by a racist reality TV show star named Donald Trump, claimed Andrew Jackson could’ve stopped the Civil War even though he died 16 years before it happened, said that any opinion poll showing him behind was fake, claimed that other countries laughed at us before he became president when several world leaders were literally laughing at him, claimed that the military was out of ammunition before he became President, created a commission to whitewash American history, retweeted anti-Islam videos from one of the most racist people in Britain, claimed ludicrously that the Pulse nightclub shooting wouldn’t have happened if someone there had a gun even though there was an armed security guard there, hired a senior staffer who cited the non-existent Bowling Green Massacre as a reason to ban Muslims, had a press secretary who claimed that Nazi Germany never used chemical weapons even though every sane human being knows they used gas to kill millions of Jews and others, bilked the Secret Service for higher than market rates when they had to stay at Trump properties, apparently sold pardons on his way out of the White House, stripped protective status from 59,000 Haitians, falsely claimed Biden wanted to defund the police, said that the head of the CDC didn’t know what he was talking about, tried to rescind protection from DREAMers, gave himself an A+ for his handling of the pandemic, tried to start a boycott of Goodyear tires due to an Internet hoax, said U.S. rates of COVID would be lower if you didn’t count blue states, deported U.S. veterans who served their country but were undocumented, claimed he did more for African Americans than any president since Lincoln, touted a “super-duper” secret “hydrosonic” missile which may or may not be a new “hypersonic” missile or may not exist at all, retweeted a gif calling Biden a pedophile, forced through security clearances for his family, suggested that police officers should rough up suspects, suggested that Biden was on performance-enhancing drugs, tried to stop transgender students from being able to use school bathrooms in line with their gender, suggested the US not accept COVID patients from a cruise ship because it would make US numbers look higher, nominated a climate change sceptic to chair the committee advising the White House on environmental policy, retweeted a video doctored to look like Biden had played a song called “gently caress tha Police” at a campaign event, hugged a disturbingly large number of U.S. flags, accused Democrats of “treason” for not applauding his State of the Union address, claimed that the FBI failed to capture the Parkland school shooter because they were “spending too much time” on Russia, mocked the testimony of Dr Christine Blasey Ford when she accused Brett Kavanaugh of sexual assault, obsessed over low-flow toilets, ordered the rerelease of more COVID vaccines when there weren’t any to release, called for the construction of a bizarre garden of heroes with statutes of famous dead Americans as well as at least one Canadian (Alex Trebek), hijacked Washington’s July 4th celebrations to give a partisan speech, took advice from the MyPillow guy, claimed that migrants seeking a better life in the US were dangerous caravans of drug dealers and rapists, said nothing when Vladimir Putin poisoned a leading opposition, never seemed to heed the advice of his wife’s “Be Best” campaign, falsely claimed that mail-in voting is fraudulent, announced a precipitous withdrawal of troops from Syria which not only handed Russia and ISIS a win but also prompted his defense secretary to resign in protest, insulted the leader of Canada, insulted the leader of France, insulted the leader of Britain, insulted the leader of Germany, insulted the leader of Sweden (Sweden!!), falsely claimed credit for getting NATO members to increase their share of dues, blew off two Asia summits even though they were held virtually, continued lying about spending lots of time at Ground Zero with 9/11 responders, said that the Japanese would sit back and watch their “Sony televisions” if the US were ever attacked, left a NATO summit early in a huff, stared directly into an eclipse even though everyone over the age of 5 knows not to do that, called himself a very stable genius despite significant evidence to the contrary, refused to commit to a peaceful transfer of power and kept his promise, and a whole bunch of other things I can’t remember at the moment.
But other than that...

No. 1 ANIME HATER posted:

The simple version of viral load:

if you scrape your skin with a needle with HIV you'll get like a couple of HIV viruses and your body goes "hey they don't belong here" and then 6 million white blood cells curb stomp those 5 HIV viruses and you don't have HIV.

If you inject yourself with a few drops of blood from the HIV needle your body goes "hey they don't belong here" and the 6 million white blood cells get their asses kicked by the tens of thousands of HIV viruses.

With covid, you've almost certainly had a couple of covids get in you just from adjusting your mask or rubbing your eyes. Exposure is almost guaranteed at this point.

But because you're a socially distanced hand-washing mask wearer your body got hit by like 50 covid viruses and you kicked their asses.

If you're a disgusting hog butt-chugging sheep shampoo and screaming at a rally with other diseased hogs you're inhaling 50 million covid viruses and now you have to get in the forever box.

No. 1 ANIME HATER posted:

5-10ml of semen taken as a suppository will cure any ailment in men because it increases testosterone levels while stimulating the prostate.

When's the last time you saw a gay pride float that wasn't all absolutely shredded buff dudes?

Powershift posted:

I need help trump thread

i found a guy selling horse paste on craigslist for $10 a tube so i bought a couple. i tried to take a little bit but it was so delicious, horseradish flavored, so i ended up eating the whole tube.

Am i gonna die?

It's Arby's brand horsey paste if that helps

John Wick of Dogs posted:

I feel so bad for fight attendants

https://twitter.com/timheidecker/status/1435996508940226562?s=19

They're getting this poo poo every day

Asterite34 posted:

This is the fourth one though

Tenkaris posted:

I have 288 followers and given the socialist anarchy I spew I can’t imagine any of them were considering horse drugs but some guy with 12 followers wants me to apologize and repent or something?

Like the tweet was just “I just saw an article about ivermectin making men infertile. So.. people believing that the vaccine is secret population control, instead they're taking horse dewormer that makes them sterile? That’s a lol”

It only mentions having seen an article and the idea being funny to me, I really don’t get why it even merits the response

trickybiscuits posted:

I was trying to make a joke but gently caress it, link her to the Herman Cain awards and be done with it.

Strong Sauce posted:

the whole the virus is too small for masks to block was something i listened to and then decided not to bother too much with masks... at the very beginning of the pandemic... when we knew nothing about the virus.

once they determined it was spread via aerosol and that the higher the concentration of the virus made it more likely you'd get sick, wearing masks is like the least effort thing you could do to prevent its spread. it is unbelievable how much they've just decided to ignore once the actual science went against their viewpoint. i was wrong at the beginning but once more information came out you realize how much masks _could_ possibly prevent, its like a no-brainer...

Herman Merman posted:

That's not how respirator masks work. Microscopic particles just don't behave the same way as peas or billiard balls.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mechanical_filter_(respirator)#Mechanism_of_operation

CPA Hell posted:

I know this thread is for lols, but I went through this exact same trajectory and now I’m really struggling because many of my friends went through the same, but came out on the other side. And what’s made this misinformation campaign so powerful is that it gives the resisters the assurance that they are reasoning, are smart and are taking care of other people by not falling for a scam. All their news sources are skewed right and supporting them in these positions and making the other side look ridiculous.

If anyone has any serious suggestions for how to get through to them I’d love to hear it. So far I’ve been using “take all the politics out of it, and listen to what experts you know personally are saying. I know a pharmacist with over 40 years experience, another PharmD, my doctor who has always been spot on with diagnosis, and two doctor clients and they are 100% in favor of the vaccines and masking, social distancing etc. so I’m just listening to them.” It’s made some headway, but all this misinformation plays on emotions and vulnerabilities in ways you can’t just out talk with rational information.

The Last Call posted:

JFC

Herman Merman posted:

Cloth masks, surgical masks and respirator masks all work by the roughly the same filtration mechanisms.

You're right about the reason for wearing masks, but wrong about the way they work. The holes in the mask do not have to be smaller than the particles for it to filter some of them. It's not a sieve. Aerosolized droplets can be much smaller than the pores of a cloth mask, yet it filters some fraction of them.

learnincurve posted:

The cropped the wrong part, what the gently caress is this