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Who did it?
The butler
The weird guy you meet once
Professor James "Goku" Moriatry
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Professor Shark
May 22, 2012




I mean the original Holmes, not the weird modern Benedict Cumberbatch version (who may have been cool but the show was just awful) or Robert Downy Jr.

The guy is really awesome and also very great.

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Devils Affricate
Jan 22, 2010


I'm just surprised "Sure-Lock Homes" hasn't been trademarked as a home security company name at this point, not sure what else to say in this thread sorry OP

DarkSoulsTantrum
Apr 6, 2011

this kills the crab

Sure, they're visually impressive, but a lot of posters find large avatars physically uncomfortable. Furthermore, the owners of large avatars often rely on their size alone and don't bother to develop more refined posting techniques.


Grimey Drawer

I got a mystery for you OP

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013
Probation
Can't post for 12 days!


He was a loving pisspot rear end hole and the stories are written in such a way that only the author could possibly know the outcome and Sherlock's 'deduction' is loving bullshit. The author just literally makes him know what happens for no loving reason. It's garbage for idiot morons, op.

Cubone
May 26, 2011

Because it never leaves its bedroom, no one has ever seen this poster's real face.

Yams Fan

what do you mean original?

like the books, or one of the old or more faithful adaptations, like Basil Rathbone?

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013
Probation
Can't post for 12 days!


"Holmes! How did you know!?"
"Simple, my dear watson! A week ago whilst you were away visiting a Chinaman I was here watching this man commit the murder."
"...Holmes...why didn't you just say something or stop it then?"
"I'm BRILLIANT WATSON"

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

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Big Beef City posted:

He was a loving pisspot rear end hole and the stories are written in such a way that only the author could possibly know the outcome and Sherlock's 'deduction' is loving bullshit. The author just literally makes him know what happens for no loving reason. It's garbage for idiot morons, op.

Oh u big mad

Professor Shark
May 22, 2012




Cubone posted:

what do you mean original?

like the books, or one of the old or more faithful adaptations, like Basil Rathbone?

I am all about the classic BBC radio adaptations of Holmes

Big Beef City you need to quit the beef and open up to the idea that Sherlock Holmes is actually cool as fucker than you

Professor Shark
May 22, 2012




BBC your Sherlock Holmes fan fiction is really "off the walls"

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013
Probation
Can't post for 12 days!


I will never stop being outraged at Sherlock Holmes and nothing can stop me.

Professor Shark
May 22, 2012




Cubone posted:

Basil Rathbone?

Which classic Holmes actor was the one that actually dressed in character and met Conan Doyle on a train and was super dismissive of him, saying "You must be the author, then." ?

He gets my vote as one of the better Holmes portrayals

Loden Taylor
Aug 11, 2003






Who was the better Holmes?

Vasily Livanov


Basil Rathbone

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013
Probation
Can't post for 12 days!


"We've exhausted all the clues, Holmes, we're at our wits end, and the Police have had it. I'm afraid the crime will go unsolved, and your reputation tarnished. And this, after weeks of fruitless searching and nights spent patrolling, searching for the culprit. What are we to do Holmes?"
"Yes, Watson. So it would seem. I've exhausted all my resources, as well as yours, and watched your relationship with your fiance go up in tatters. Here in my pocket however is a signed note from the killer as well as a signed, witnessed confession from him, which I ascertained a fortnight ago. A studious labour, no less."
"...god loving dammit Holmes. I let my lease slip."
"Yes, well."

pnumoman
Sep 26, 2008


Wasn't he a cokehead or something?

Professor Shark
May 22, 2012




You sort of remind me of those people who sent death threats to Agatha Christie

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

This post brought to you by RAID: SHADOW LEGENDS.
RAID: SHADOW LEGENDS - It's for your phoneTM #ad



Holmes in the original stories was a cocaine using bare knuckle boxer who was smarter than everyone else and also stronger than pretty much everyone else. They weren’t so much detective stories where you could figure out the whodunnit so much as you inhabiting Watson’s body while this bad rear end motherfucker made you feel like a stupid moron who was unable to accomplish the most menial tasks. Most stories went with Holmes telling Watson to stay in the apartment and Holmes coming back 4 days later saying he had solved it and beat up 6 dudes and also he hosed your wife twice breakfast tomorrow at 8 Watson?

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013
Probation
Can't post for 12 days!


oldpainless posted:

Holmes in the original stories was a cocaine using bare knuckle boxer who was smarter than everyone else and also stronger than pretty much everyone else. They weren’t so much detective stories where you could figure out the whodunnit so much as you inhabiting Watson’s body while this bad rear end motherfucker made you feel like a stupid moron who was unable to accomplish the most menial tasks. Most stories went with Holmes telling Watson to stay in the apartment and Holmes coming back 4 days later saying he had solved it and beat up 6 dudes and also he hosed your wife twice breakfast tomorrow at 8 Watson?

I've seen this!

David Hyde Pierce played his brother as Watson, I think. In the 90's

Darth Brooks
Jan 15, 2005

All else is up for grabs.


The lack of Jeremy Brett in this thread is shameful.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F2iSZ2BN3R4

Cubone
May 26, 2011

Because it never leaves its bedroom, no one has ever seen this poster's real face.

Yams Fan

if you've never played Sherlock Holmes Consulting Detective, it's a great game
you play as one of the other guys in the room who sits there fuming at the arrogant bastard Sherlock Holmes as he figures everything out based on insignificant bullshit

you basically are given a mystery, and a map of London, and the map has little numbers that you can go to, so you're like "hm... the victim was a printing press magnate" so you can look up all the printing press offices and go and visit them and there'll be a brief interaction there. sometimes Holmes will be there and that's a pretty good hint that you're on the right track but a lot of times it'll be loving nothing

once you think you've figured it out, you can stop the game at any time and go to the conclusion, and your score is based on the number of locations you visited and how much of the mystery you figured out. you get points for having right answers to questions and there'll be like 5 normal questions and two insane ones like "who was the culprit? what was the motive? where was the watch hidden? why was mademoiselle le roux wearing blue pearls at the theater?" and you're like who the gently caress is mademoiselle le roux? wondering how in two hours of headache-inducing pondering you never thought to visit this apparently extremely important theater

then you read the conclusion, silently fuming at the arrogant bastard sherlock holmes as he calmly explains how he figured everything out from the presence of thin yellow fibers on the victim's cuffs WHICH YOU WERE loving TOLD ABOUT

the stated goal of the game is to get a better score than sherlock holmes, which I think is like 60 or 100 or something, and you won't. you will not. a better goal is to try to score higher than, like, -15

gimme the GOD DAMN candy
Jul 1, 2007


Big Beef City posted:

He was a loving pisspot rear end hole and the stories are written in such a way that only the author could possibly know the outcome and Sherlock's 'deduction' is loving bullshit. The author just literally makes him know what happens for no loving reason. It's garbage for idiot morons, op.

the really funny thing is that despite all of this being true, doyle had a completely unwarranted reputation as a keen analytical mind. doyle was actually the most gullible motherfucker on the planet, and he constantly got taken in by really obvious frauds posing as spiritualists. he was far from the only one, as being a gullible motherfucker who believed anyone who knocked on a table and went "woooo, there's a ghost" was a huge fad in england at the time, but doyle kept doubling down on even the most thoroughly disproven hoaxes.

but doyle wrote mysteries, so that must mean he is just as capable as his fictional detective.

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005



The Management
Jan 2, 2010

sup, bitch?


Elementary, you ignorant morons. You see, in my studies I’ve collected newspaper clippings that mention the railway tunnel over the canal that borders the estate, knowing it would make an opportune location to discard a weapon that was used on the train. It just so happens that last year a canal boat dredged up a lion-headed cane in that very spot. When I inquired about the cane, i was informed it was retrieved by a certain Mister Butts, the tabbaconist in town. It appears that Mister Butts, in his youth, had spent some time in India, where he encountered the victim’s brother.

Cubone
May 26, 2011

Because it never leaves its bedroom, no one has ever seen this poster's real face.

Yams Fan

there's a scene in the first Sherlock Holmes book where Watson compares Holmes to all the popular fictional detectives from the time and Holmes dismissively explains why they're all way shittier than him

The Management
Jan 2, 2010

sup, bitch?


gimme the GOD drat candy posted:

the really funny thing is that despite all of this being true, doyle had a completely unwarranted reputation as a keen analytical mind. doyle was actually the most gullible motherfucker on the planet, and he constantly got taken in by really obvious frauds posing as spiritualists. he was far from the only one, as being a gullible motherfucker who believed anyone who knocked on a table and went "woooo, there's a ghost" was a huge fad in england at the time, but doyle kept doubling down on even the most thoroughly disproven hoaxes.

but doyle wrote mysteries, so that must mean he is just as capable as his fictional detective.

Doyle’s wife used to hold seances, one of which Harry Houdini famously attended and set him off on his mysticism debunking because it was obviously bullshit.

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005



i read a mystery once. at the end the detective explained the means and motive of 1 character among half a dozen who also had means and motive. utter nonsense
havent read a book since

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Feb 17, 2011

meat


Sherlock Blomes lol lmao. Watson more like Datsun hahahahq

free hubcaps
Oct 12, 2009


william gillette is the only sherlock holmes that mattered



look at this motherfucker

DarkSoulsTantrum
Apr 6, 2011

this kills the crab

Sure, they're visually impressive, but a lot of posters find large avatars physically uncomfortable. Furthermore, the owners of large avatars often rely on their size alone and don't bother to develop more refined posting techniques.


Grimey Drawer

Sherlock Holmes sucks! Oh wow walking around London solving mysteries like a fool. “Cor blimey! Wot’s all this then, eh? Summat stole all me chips and bangers better find this Holmes chap, he’ll fix it up straight away!”

Professor Shark
May 22, 2012




gimme the GOD drat candy posted:

the really funny thing is that despite all of this being true, doyle had a completely unwarranted reputation as a keen analytical mind. doyle was actually the most gullible motherfucker on the planet, and he constantly got taken in by really obvious frauds posing as spiritualists. he was far from the only one, as being a gullible motherfucker who believed anyone who knocked on a table and went "woooo, there's a ghost" was a huge fad in england at the time, but doyle kept doubling down on even the most thoroughly disproven hoaxes.

but doyle wrote mysteries, so that must mean he is just as capable as his fictional detective.

Conan Doyle wanted to be Holmes but was actually “By Jove! A doorknob?!”-Watson

Frances Nurples
May 10, 2008




ALSO:

Darth Brooks posted:

The lack of Jeremy Brett in this thread is shameful.

Zeluth
May 12, 2001



On the case, dear, Watson. There be a treat.

Only registered members can see post attachments!

3D Megadoodoo
Nov 25, 2010

BENIS


This thread reminded me of the only time steampunk was cool:

pnumoman
Sep 26, 2008


3D Megadoodoo posted:

This thread reminded me of the only time steampunk was cool:



This reminds me why steampunk is never cool

3D Megadoodoo
Nov 25, 2010

BENIS


pnumoman posted:

This reminds me why steampunk is never cool

I was ten and it was cool to me, god drat it!

Porfiriato
Jan 4, 2016



Toilet Rascal

The Management posted:

Doyle’s wife used to hold seances, one of which Harry Houdini famously attended and set him off on his mysticism debunking because it was obviously bullshit.

Wasn't he also a staunch believer in fairy photographs? The ones where there were some British girls in that era that would pose for photos with "fairies" that were extremely obviously just paper cutouts propped up on a branch and poo poo like that.




The creator of Sherlock Holmes was convinced this poo poo was real

Nefarious 2.0
Apr 22, 2008

Offense is overrated anyway.



i love iron man to, op!

Icochet
Mar 18, 2008

I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~


Grimey Drawer

Sherlock Holmes could kick the rear end of every hater in this thread with his japanese wrestling moves even though he's fictional

Fornax Disaster
Apr 11, 2005

If you need me I'll be in Holodeck Four.

Darth Brooks posted:

The lack of Jeremy Brett in this thread is shameful.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F2iSZ2BN3R4

He played Holmes with the perfect amount of weird rear end in a top hat, he’s great.

The Copper Beeches episode is awesome. It has Joss Ackland in it (you can’t stop me Holmes, I have diplomatic immunity!). Pretty much the only thing Holmes and Watson actually achieve is to save the villain from being killed by his own dog, though.

Also watch the Solitary Cyclist where he beats the poo poo out of a man with the worlds worst moustache using the power of super precise Victorian boxing.

Tunicate
May 15, 2012





While Sherlock Holmes is in the public domain, he has copyrighted emotions and you will get sued if you portray him with these illegal feelings.

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Blurry Gray Thing
Jun 3, 2009


Professor Shark posted:

I mean the original Holmes, not the weird modern Benedict Cumberbatch version (who may have been cool but the show was just awful) or Robert Downy Jr.

The guy is really awesome and also very great.

The Robert Downy Jr. version is the best Sherlock Holmes and the only one that managed to update it for a modern audience and also stay true to the original characters.

The original Sherlock Holmes is also an unreasonably strong drug-addicted Kung Fu (Bartitsu) badass, and the original Watson is a former soldier and there to provide back-up. The more common take with Holmes as a stuffy pipe-smoking nerd that never has to get his hands dirty and a goofy, chubby Watson there to yell "By Jove!" is entirely divorced from the books. It seems to have been born of the idea that Sherlock Holmes is British, so both characters have to be Britished Up as much as possible.

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