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> begin tournament test your might Cry Havoc fucked around with this message at 16:10 on Oct 15, 2020 |
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Oct 15, 2020 15:57
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 13:18 |
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Die-mound these dipshits
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Oct 16, 2020 00:49
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You slap a bundle of money on the table, 2,000 dollars. "I want in the tourney." Pikachu man looks at the cash. "You don't have to buy in, you just had to have won in the meets." "Whatever. I'm bribing you, you dumb bitch." Pikachu man takes the money and stuffs it in his costume. "Take this name tag. You'll be taking Ryoku555's spot in the first round. Go down that hall, there. It's about to begin." Someone in a fox fursuit begins to rage in indignation as you and Frock walk down the hall and into a large open room with rows of tables and computers. You find Ryoku555's place-card and log in as KeebLore47. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I need to look up how this works so I'll post part 2 later
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Oct 16, 2020 22:54
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You take your seat, with Frock behind you. The first round begins in ten minutes. The stench of sweat and Mountain Dew is palpable. You look around and listen for someone claiming to be Noloh2592, but everyone is in costumes, eyes locked on their screens.
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Oct 16, 2020 23:22
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 With round one over, Noloh2592 and ImpossibleBurgler move on to face DoggoPupper and PropaneProducts, respectively. You notice a woman dressed as a mermaid and someone in a smiling Simba costume hooting in triumph. Meanwhile you begin your battle with Frank. It's coin flip time. Flip a coin and post the result. Or I or the mods will do it for you. >_
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Oct 17, 2020 00:11
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Tails.
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Oct 17, 2020 00:45
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 DeMonGrrl defeats Rick(fromNudeweb) to advance against Noloh2592, who knocks out DoggoPupper after a long fight. ImpossibleBurgler prevails over PropaneProducts to advance to the semifinals. You and Frank are in a knock-down drag-out brawl.
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Oct 17, 2020 01:13
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> Accuse Frank of cheating
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Oct 17, 2020 01:22
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Frank goes up by three points after completing a quest before you. You engage his party in battle and notice his character replicating over and over. You stand up and shout "which of you is Frank? Show yourself you loving cheat!" A balding man in spiked goth armor approaches through the crowd. "Frock," you say, "go buy some gin from the bar and bring it back." The big man picks up a folding chair and smashes it over your back. Your numb shoulders bear the brunt of it well as you bring up your rifle and smack him in the face with it. A gimp with a bondage apple in his mouth trips over a table while the mermaid and the simba furry wrestle with each other. Goth dude spear-tackles you to the floor. Somebody smashes a light fixture over his back. Pikachu man runs in and is immediately punched in the face by the mermaid. The whole room erupts into chaos as you struggle up and press a button on your keyboard that kills Frank's character. You win the match while kicking him in the throat. The gimp body-slams Pikachu man through a table, smashing a computer in the process. Tim returns with a bottle of gin, which you start swigging. Frock is nowhere to be seen. You shatter the empty bottle over goth-dude's head, crumpling him to the floor. You notice the Simba furry hurrying out of the room. You grab Tim. "Follow that freak, but don't get noticed." Tim nods and sneaks out. Frocktom comes back with some security gaurds and arrests a few people. You fire your rifle into the ceiling to restore order. Apparently DeMonGrrl, the mermaid, defeated Noloh2592, who you assume is the Simba furry, so you are up against ImpossibleBurgler, who appears to be the gimp with a bondage apple. You look toward the exit, wondering if you can slip away, but a crowd has formed, shouting "KeebLore! KeebLore!" You light a blunt and toke. 
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Oct 17, 2020 05:07
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> final round
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Oct 17, 2020 05:21
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 ImpossibleBurgler narrowly defeats you, then easily beats DeMonGrrl to win first place. You win bronze, awarding you an all expenses-paid three-day trip to Atlantis Resorts in the Caribbean. As the rewards are being announced, you run out of the room to the exit through which Simba-Guy and Tim left, Frock hot on your heels. You go down a short stairwell that opens into a parking garage, which is mostly empty. You and Frocktom scan the place briefly, then walk out into the darkness. The plane is very obvious under the parking lot light, with Keebs standing next to it. You approach him. "I didn't do anything," he says immediately, plainly drunk. "Tim came by and told me to tell you he was following a lion man. He ran off that way," he says gesturing to the east. "I tried to stop him...." You can go any direction. >_
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Oct 17, 2020 05:58
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Go east, punch every single street busker you come across.
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Oct 17, 2020 14:41
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Escape from Vegas Part 1 ----------------------------------------------------- You tell Keebs and Frock to stay with the plane, and sprint through the vast Mandalay Bay complex to the east. Your artificially enlarged scrote and rifle prevent any cops from accosting you. Any furries or cosplayers that get in your way to stiff-arm or clothesline. Passing through The LIGHT Vegas Nightclub you order a bottle of bourbon and swig it as you jog along, finally reaching the Ruby Blue lingerie store, where you stop and retch up the entire contents of your stomach. The bored young woman staring at her phone behind the register says, "I'm not cleaning that up." "Did you see a furry and a kid in here lately?" you ask, as you take another drink. She continues tapping on her phone. "I've seen lots of furries in here. There was a kid, I had to toss him out. No-one under 18." "Which way did he go?" "How the gently caress should I know? I getting ready to close up." But for the two of you, the store is empty. You stagger outside across several curving roads to Las Vegas Boulevard, where you encounter a trio of bearded young men discordantly pounding on bongo drums. "Any of you fucks see a dude dressed as a lion, or a kid, running by here?" "Nah man. Got any weed?" says one, "I like your costume." "Yeah, I got weed," you say as you light a blunt, then punch him in the face. "Dude, you totally punched Brian," says another, right before your upper-cut breaks his jaw. The third drum player runs away. You are at the intersection of Las Vegas Boulevard and Mandalay Bay Road. You can go any direction. >_
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Oct 17, 2020 23:42
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Get one of those huge refillable daquiris
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Oct 17, 2020 23:50
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> cast infravision
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Oct 18, 2020 00:00
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> go to a buffet you just threw up all your stomach content and need to refuel.
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Oct 18, 2020 00:34
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Escape from Vegas Part 2 --------------------------------------------- You belch a stench of stomach acid, and turn back toward Mandalay Bay, wandering for a while until you arrive at the Eyecandy Lounge. The doorman asks for ID, so you head-butt him and blow up his nose. There are many people dancing on a flashing psychedelic floor with videos of writhing women on the walls. You make your way to the bar and order a huge refillable daquiri, then down it while looking around. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AGMwmY_RaRI A pale young man with heavily studded lips and thickly painted eye-lashes approaches you and strokes your rifle with a finger. "Need any ammo for this big boy?" "Do you know where to get any?" you ask, as you gesture for another refill. "I know where to get all sorts of things." He looks you up and down and laughs. "I think you do, too." "Show me." You take your glass as he leads you to a back room behind the club floor. Several people are passed out on couches or stoned as gently caress. Before he even asks, you have a bundle of cash in your hand. You ponder as you roll the remains of your blunt back and forth in your lips. "150 rounds, in mags of 30. Do you have any NVGs?" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UpHK69PYZXw Transaction completed, you hang the goggles around your neck and stuff the mags in your belt. "You seen someone dressed as a lion around here? Or a kid?" "Lots," he says. "Furries come through here all the time when there is a con. No kids, though." You get a third refill and wander out down to PRESS takeout restaurant and cocktail lounge. You place your rifle on the counter and demand all of their food, to be dumped into a garbage bag. This they do. You wander back to the boulevard and sit on the curb, drinking your booze and eating a combination of sushi, pretzels, and caviar. A young man in a white top is playing "Blue Eyes Crying in the Rain" at a nearby bus stop. You listen for a while as you drink and eat, then lurch to your feet and toss some money into his guitar case. Then you punch him in the face. Someone grabs you by the shoulder. It's Tim. "You should have given me money for fare. The Simba-guy, or girl, got in a taxi. They drove up the strip. I couldn't keep up." "drat, yeah, I should have thought of that." >_
Zippy the Bummer fucked around with this message at 02:38 on Oct 18, 2020 |
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Oct 18, 2020 02:35
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> tell Tim he's doing alright and you're proud of him > hail taxi, after you and Tim get in scream "follow that cab!"
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Oct 18, 2020 02:54
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> desert bus
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Oct 18, 2020 04:24
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Give Tim an unpaid internship as a PI Assistant
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Oct 19, 2020 20:39
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You flash your fake badge at the next cab to drive by, punch the guitar player again for good measure, and pile in with Tim. "Follow that cab!" you shout at the driver, who is obviously high. "My man, what cab?" the driver coughs. "Just go north." You blind-toss the phone to Tim. "I bet Simba is still hooked into the tourney network. See if you can track them. Facebook or whatever." You climb into the passenger front seat and roll down the window. "Man, I don't think you're supposed to be up here," the driver says, as he drives north along the boulevard. "Simba just placed an order at Fatburger's for takeout," Tim says, "a couple kilometers north, on the right." "Kilometers," you say as you finish your daquiri, "this ain't England, mate. But you're doing good kid. Keep on our prey. We'll get a pelt tonight." At your command the driver weaves in and out of traffic and squeals into the lot of Fatburger, where the headlights illuminate a tall person in a lion suit, holding a take-out sack. "POLICE FORCE," you shout out the window, waving your rifle. Simba holds a hand up to shield their dead plastic eyes, gazing at you over a rictus smile, then turns to run. "RUN THEM DOWN! RUN THEM DOWN!" Tim yells. "I dunno little man," the driver says as he tokes, "I might get in trouble for that." Simba tries to dive into the back seat of another cab which is pealing out of the lot. You fire a burst at the back right tire, causing the cab to swerve to a halt. That cabbie scrambles out and runs terrified into the night. The lion abandons the cab and starts sprinting east toward the brightly lit parking lot of the MGM Grand. Your cabbie gives pursuit weaving through parking lots, over curbs, and across the grounds of MGM Grand, throwing up gouts of dirt in the grass. Simba goes in and out of trees and parked cars, just out of reach of the headlights, one of which has smashed. "His phone just placed him at Topgolf Takeout on Kovan Lane," Tim says. "Tim if you keep this up, I might have to start paying you." The cab gets mired in the wet grass and mud of the lake on the golf course. "You better tip me good, man," the cabbie says. You toss him a few hundos and jump out with Tim, who outpaces your old rear end. At Topgolf Takeout the two of you quickly look around. Up the street, you see Simba climb onto a bus, several hundred feet away. Tim quickly looks it up and finds that the bus is bound for Crystal Springs, Nevada. >Try to catch bus >Find another cab >Try to contact Frock >Shoot at bus >Some combo thereof >Something else >_
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Oct 19, 2020 21:19
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> Head em off at the pass
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Oct 19, 2020 22:01
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Oct 20, 2020 01:20
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Inventory check, because I can't remember: clothes, POLICE FORCE badge, PI cert, pocket-knife, a few ounces of weed, rolling paper, matches, Keebler's AK-47 and 149 rounds of ammo, sunglasses, strange key, strips of cloth, $67,200, briefcase, cert for Caribbean vacation Also Keebler's phone
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Oct 20, 2020 01:59
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drat, drinking three of those big daquiris is beastly
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Oct 20, 2020 02:07
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You watch the bus pull away to the north. "Tim, give me the phone. Run back to Mandalay Bay and spin up the plane." He darts away. Keeb's phone rings. It is a Nickelback ringtone. You snarl in disgust as you answer it. "This is Keebler." "Qwan, where the gently caress are you!?" Frock shouts. "My radio is blowing up with reports of shots fired at MGM. Was that you?" You hold back a retch and belch instead. "Tell them you saw the gunman running southeast from Fatburger. Tim's on his way back, I'll be there shortly. Simba's on the move north." You end the call in the midst of Frock yelling incoherently, with Keebler saying "that's my phone." You are too drunk to walk all the way back, so you hotwire a golf-cart and drive to Mandalay Bay, tipping it as you pull into the lot, bashing up your injured shoulder, but you don't feel it. You calmly stumble over to the plane with its engine whirring. Police SUVs and squad cars are screaming up and down the streets. You roll a blunt, open the co-pilot door, then smash it off with the butt of your rifle. Keebler mutters about his phone. You smother his and Frock's complaints by tossing your pack of weed at them as they pile in. Since the whole area is locked down and clear of traffic, Tim has an easy time gunning it down Mandalay Bay Road for the needed 1200 feet and takes off. "How much fuel do we have, cap'n?" you laugh hysterically. "A third of a tank. Where are we going?" You suck down half your blunt as you thumb through the phone. "There's only one real road a bus can take to Crystal Springs, and that's Highway 93. It goes through Alamo, about a hundred miles north. We should be able to beat them there. There's even an unattended airfield, haha. Turn northeast and stay as low as you can, and shut off the safety lights or whatever you call them. Shut off the transponder too." Tim banks the Cessna toward the northern desert. After a few minutes a single sliver of vehicle lights emerges in the sand below, with the lights of Vegas behind. You strap on your NVGs and turn them on. You can see a few tractor-trailors, some trucks, and a bus below, as you lean out the empty door. "Tim, fly ash fast ash you can. We're right behind them, lesh get infsront of em." In half an hour, the bus is long behind, and the dim glow of the town of Alamo is on the horizon in your NVGs, with...according to the phone, the Mt. Irish Range to the west, and Hiko Range to the east, with the one highway between. Keeb's phone still has service, but you can't detect anyone else's. >Try to refuel at the Alamo airfield >Double back first to ambush bus >Do something else >_
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Oct 20, 2020 03:31
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> reenact the bus-boarding scene from the hit movie Speed (1994) with an airplane instead of a car
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Oct 20, 2020 04:14
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> reenact desert airfield refueling from con air
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Oct 20, 2020 04:18
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> puke all the daiquiris in your guts out onto some poor unsuspecting driver, then do this:Cry Havoc posted:> reenact desert airfield refueling from con air Then this: Moon Slayer posted:> reenact the bus-boarding scene from the hit movie Speed (1994) with an airplane instead of a car
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Oct 20, 2020 04:29
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> call your mother, she worries about you.
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Oct 20, 2020 07:31
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yesss
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Oct 20, 2020 14:41
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Battle of Alamo Pt. 1 -------------------------------------------- You call your mom in Bangor, Maine. "Yes, Qwan residence?" comes a tremulous voice. "Hey mama," you say, "just doing my *hic* monthly check in. Did you get those flowers for dad's grave, a while back?" "Oh yes, they were beautiful." "Good, good...I'mma send you some money soon as I finish this job." "Oh! You have a job? How lovely. Send me your loving address so I can mail you some cookies." "Will do, ma. Gotta go." You end the call. You step one foot on the wing strut of the plane and look out with your NVGs. "Tim, the airfield is a few degrees west." "I see the lights," he says, and guides the Cessna to a gentle landing, and taxis off the tarmac. There are a scattering of dark buildings and one security light. One identical plane is parked nearby. You hop out and order the others to scout around while you fuel up the Skyhawk. "Hurry up, we only have a half-hour before the bus catches up." You affix the fuel hose to the plane and toke up while it pumps with a rhythmic thumping sound. Then you realize the sound is coming from the north. A blinding spotlight suddenly blasts out of the sky, raking back and forth over the airfield. You see that it briefly exposes a large group of armed people in black crouch-running toward the plane a few hundred yards away, accompanied by HMMVs. Your stoned brain contemplates this for a long moment. Then you remember that Frock's number is on Keeb's phone now, and call her. "Get the gently caress back to the plane," you shout when she picks up. You stagger to the nearest building and blast the lock open. It isn't an office. You stagger back out to the other Cessna, shoot the door open, and climb inside. You vaguely hear gunshots and shouts as you hotwire the plane, guide it toward the oncoming troops, and combat-roll out of the door, bashing your bad shoulder yet again. Laying on the tarmac, you see your party fleeing toward you, dodging the moving plane, with bullets raining around and above them. Frock is firing wildly behind her with her pistol. You jump into the Skyhawk and start the engine, then lean out the door and spray at the attackers on full auto, clip after clip. Some fall. Rounds plink off the vehicles and burst tires. The windshield of your plane is shattered by return fire and the dashboard erupts in a flare of sparks. Something somewhere explodes-- you realize after your vision returns that the other plane smashed into one of the HMMVs and the engine is still somehow going, dancing across the asphalt as men dive to avoid it. The flames turn the white sands of the desert into daylight. Your party piles into the plane and Tim shoves the throttle, turning off the runway to avoid the wreckage. You continue to fire at the troops, or whoever they are, from the open door, while bullets thwak and thunk against the Cessna's fuselage. The fuel hose, which you forgot to disconnect, rips loose and begins spraying gas all over the tarmac, and as Tim makes a bumpy takeoff, the airfield explodes behind you. TBC
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Oct 21, 2020 02:13
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hell yeah
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Oct 21, 2020 03:09
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You order Tim to circle around back to the highway. "We're right out side Groom Lake, you loving lunatic," Frocktom shouts, "the Air Force is going to blow us out of the sky. Especially with no lights or transponder." Tim circles the Cessna along the highway. You use your NVGs to spot the bus. "Go down next to the bus!" you shout. "I can't!" Tim shouts," I'll stall if I go that slow! I might as well land." "I'll see if I can get the driver to speed up a bit," you say. Tim lowers the plane near the highway. You fire a few rounds at the empty side of the bus. The driver steps on it and speeds up to 110 miles per hour. Tim lowers the Skyhawk near the bus, with one wing over the roof. As the plane moves past the vehicle, you blast open a window, then dive into it. You hold your AK chicken-wing in your right arm. "Keep driving," you order the bus driver. You hold up your badge. "Police force, everyone stay seated." Someone in a lion costume near the back of the bus stands up and brandishes a pistol. You walk up to them. "Oh drat, what is that?!" you shout. Simba looks away, and you snatch the pistol and shove it into the back of your belt, then smash them in the back of the head with your rifle. You demand the bus to stop. You pull Simba off the vehicle, and let the vehicle drive off into the night. You rip the lion mask off the furry, revealing the sweaty face and matted hair of a woman. >Call Frocktom >kill woman >interrogate woman >run away >do something else <_
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Oct 22, 2020 07:09
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Hakuna Matata
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Oct 22, 2020 15:24
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"No worries?" you ask her as the bus drives off. "You don't look Swahili." "It was supposed to be Tim," she says, "they told me I was supposed to take Tim. We already had his uncle. If I got the kid for them, they'd let my dad go." "Who is your dad?" you shout. "Frank Holon. Please, don't hurt me. I didn't know they would do anything to Jessica. I didn't know anything!" "Do you know anything about the name Roof?" you ask. "That's my uncle, or one of them. Please, let me go. I don't know anything about him except he was a professor. They just said to watch that kid, and Keebler." "Who said?!" She cowers in terror. "They did. They never gave names. They always wore masks. They said Jessica would die if I didn't." "Who the hell are you anyway?" "Frances Holon. Please don't kill me." "I'm not going to kill you. Yet. Come on." You drag her into the underbrush and away from the road. Helicopters start circling the area with search-lights as cop cars zoom up and down the highway. You dial up Frocktom on her phone. "Keebs, Tim and I are landed a few miles away. What do you want us to do?" >_
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Oct 24, 2020 06:42
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I’ve completely lost track of all these names so uh > get high
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Oct 24, 2020 13:21
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> Get Simba high maybe she'll let something slip
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Oct 24, 2020 15:07
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I've lost track as well. I'll try to write up a synopsis later. Writing mysteryeosesfajf
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Oct 24, 2020 20:13
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 13:18 |
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The story so far: You, Kurt Qwan, PI, were employed by one Will Keebler on the west coast of California, on the referral of one Demelza, from New Orleans, to investigate the whereabouts of his missing daughter Jessica. Drug cartels became involved, to what extent you do not know. A Professor Roof was captured and tortured by them, as was his nephew Tim, along with his brother-in-law and sister, whom were slain (or presumed dead). You have discovered that Jessica was caught up in a group of some sort led by one Frank Holon, who may or not be involved with the cartels. His daughter Frances is currently in your custody. She, and Tim, are the niece and nephew of Frank Holon. Frances claims that masked men made her capture Tim and his aunt and uncles, but her plan was foiled by your rescue of the kid, and the intercession of Officer Frocktom, who was pursuing the cartel for a separate reason. You have torn major rear end from the west coast through Death Valley and Las Vegas, leaving dead people and devastation in your wake, and are now somewhere outside the small town of Alamo, Nevada. The police and the military are looking for you and your party.
Zippy the Bummer fucked around with this message at 04:50 on Oct 25, 2020 |
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Oct 25, 2020 04:39
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