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Hi! I'm looking for crits on my short (only 3800 words!) that was popular on /r/HFY and Tumblr. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1JDMXf4fCDpKDqvjeLEQzlhA1F8jMvj5mMFcZV0mP9nA/edit?usp=sharing This is a self contained story, but I plan on using the crits on my longer stuff. Thanks for reading!
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Jul 15, 2023 00:14
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| # ¿ May 9, 2024 17:11 |
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rohan posted:I’ll try and offer a more substantive crit later, but on a quick first read I’d recommend paying attention to your tenses: you begin in past, and then switch to present when Captain Shimmer reminisces, and then you alternate back and forth a bit. eg: Tense errors are my cross to bear. It’s the thing I seemingly have the most trouble with. Thanks! I’ll go correct them.
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Jul 15, 2023 03:27
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rohan posted:I think your narrative felt more confident in the past tense narration, but it might be worth experimenting between rewriting scenes in each tense to see how it changes the story and how you tell it. That makes sense. I write a lot in past tense for my day job, it makes sense it comes more naturally.
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Jul 15, 2023 14:16
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