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Brut
Aug 21, 2007

piratepilates posted:

wasn't his edit, was the invisible free hand of the forums correcting his poor hotlinking.

Don't worry I have his 6 month probe queued up.

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Mekchu
Apr 10, 2012

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
:frogsiren: need a goon to do a 2 to 3 paragraph at max summary of October's UFC events for next month (a la what Commonshore did in the OP for this thread) :frogsiren:


Can be tryhard or goofy. IT'S YOUR SUMMARY.

willie_dee
Jun 21, 2010
I obtain sexual gratification from observing people being inflicted with violent head injuries

LobsterMobster posted:

mr nice, do you ever wonder how our lives would be better if he went with that random russian man who said he was part of khabib's crew after the rda fight and he invited us to khabib's after party


Why would you not go?! I ended up in strip clubs and going on all sorts of adventures hanging out with fighters randomly after fights

Memento
Aug 25, 2009


Bleak Gremlin

willie_dee posted:

Why would you not go?! I ended up in strip clubs and going on all sorts of adventures hanging out with fighters randomly after fights

poo poo like this is generally far less safe for women

Bluedeanie
Jul 20, 2008

It's no longer a blue world, Max. Where could we go?



Mekchu posted:

:frogsiren: need a goon to do a 2 to 3 paragraph at max summary of October's UFC events for next month (a la what Commonshore did in the OP for this thread) :frogsiren:


Can be tryhard or goofy. IT'S YOUR SUMMARY.

I can handle this.

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

CommonShore posted:

Holy poo poo Nunes vs Alexis Dufresne? Dufresne would have gotten loving murdered.

If you're not familiar Dufresne was the one who came up through Xplode Fight Series, which without much exaggeration, paid homeless people to get knocked out to pad fighters records. She got roughed up pretty bad in her two ufc fights.

And I just looked up her record - I swear she used to have a wikipedia page - and rofl she has mumble rapper face tattoos now.



Something's not right in that girl's head.

my alexis "sneaky zebra" dufrense memory is that she took down sarah "cheesecake" moras a ton of times, but did literally 0 on top, and moras landed enough little punches from bottom that moras won the decision

Mr. Nice!
Oct 13, 2005

c-spam cannot afford



Eat This Glob posted:

also, what a cool card to show up on tv lobster and nice! if nunes could have gotten a replacement fight and travis browne could have disappeared, it would have been an amazing event

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/UFC_on_Fox:_Werdum_vs._Browne


well, there's that :v:

Werdum landed a flying kick right to his dumb head. That was worth the price of admission.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0XUTwmd5mg

STING 64
Oct 20, 2006

CommonShore posted:


Something's not right in that girl's head.

probably the concussions

CommonShore
Jun 6, 2014

A true renaissance man


LobsterMobster posted:

my alexis "sneaky zebra" dufrense memory is that she took down sarah "cheesecake" moras a ton of times, but did literally 0 on top, and moras landed enough little punches from bottom that moras won the decision

And then Marion Reneau beat her bloody in the next fight as it became apparent that Dufresne didn't know how to defend strikes.

Mekchu
Apr 10, 2012

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Bluedeanie posted:

I can handle this.


Dope. Feel free to PM me the writeup when you get it done. I'll make the thread on Sunday or Monday.

Eat This Glob
Jan 14, 2008

God is dead. God remains dead. And we have killed him. Who will wipe this blood off us? What festivals of atonement, what sacred games shall we need to invent?

Mr. Nice! posted:

Werdum landed a flying kick right to his dumb head. That was worth the price of admission.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0XUTwmd5mg

lmao gently caress! let's not erase that browne stain from my memory

CommonShore
Jun 6, 2014

A true renaissance man


Hall vs Silva is coming up this Friday. Shall we take a look at it? It has lots of fights and some might be good. There are far more wikipedia page-having fighters proportionally on this one than on other recent cards. Once I worked through all of the fights it’s a bit underwhelming as a whole.

Main Card
Main Event Middleweight Uriah Hall vs Anderson Silva
Ooof please retire Anderson. The UFC has been trying to make this fight happen before years, matching up Middleweight legend Silva against TUF runner up flashy superstar “The Next Anderson Silva pt3” Hall. If you don’t know Silva’s work please say so in the thread and goons will be happy to talk your ear off about him. He’s coming off of a leg injury loss to Jared Cannonier. Hall is a bit less known, but he has lots of crazy knockouts via spinnin’ poo poo. Hall is one of these guys who can destroy any fighter if Hall is having a good night, and then lose to nearly anyone if he’s having a bad one. He’s coming off of a split decision win over Shoe Face and a KO of Bevon Lewis. This will probably be sad, except if Hall goes all Pat Barry vs Cro Cop on us, but I suspect that won’t happen.

:siren:Featherweight Andre Fili vs Bryce Mitchell
Andre Fili is a solid gatekeeper at middleweight. He’s not that far above :500 in the UFC, but his losses are to good fighters, including Holloway, Yair, Kattar, and Michael Johnson. Most recently he took a split decision win over Charles Jourdain. Fili is a newer-generation Team Alpha Male fighter, mixing shirtless tanned wrestling with very sharp striking. Bryce Mitchell is best known for his self-inflicted severe scrotal trauma, but he has a reputation for being one of two fighters to win via twister submission ever in the UFC (see my av for the other). He’s undefeated since a loss to Brad Katona on TUF. He’s a ridiculously aggressive grappler, but Fili definitely has the tools on paper to keep it standing and make it a bad night for the hillbilly.

Middleweight Kevin Holland vs Makhmud Muradov
Holland is a replacement here for Krzystof Jotko, which makes me wonder how big of a deal Muradov is, since he’s the only one lacking a Wikipedia page on the main card. Jotko is a second-tier contender, so that’s a big fight for an unknown guy. Holland is no slouch of a replacement either, having picked up three good wins in Covid MMA, including a TKO of Joaquin “that big ko” Buckly. Makhmud “Mach” Muradov is an Uzbek-Czech fighter who is actually 2-0 in the UFC with a KO of Trevor “Hot Sauce” Smith and a decision over Alessio Di Chirico. Huh. How bout that. Those are respectable wins. He’s 23-6 overall, and most of his losses were in his first 10 fights.

Heavyweight Maurice Greene vs G.Hardy
I’ll get the shitbird abuser out of the way first – He’s 3-2 1NC in the UFC, with one DQ loss and an NC for using an inhaler between rounds. His last bout was a win over Yorgan De Castro where De Castro lit him up in the first round but then just decided to stop attacking (broken foot?). Maurice Greene is looking to follow up a really funny arm triangle from bottom half guard vs Gian Villante. Before that “The Crochet Boss” lost to Aleksei Oleinik via a sweet armbar in January.

Lightweight Bobby Green vs Thiago Moisés
Striker Green possibly has the most misleading record in the UFC. He has some losing streaks, and draws, but his losses are to good fighters largely, and at times he has looked like he has elite skills. His fights are often good. Green is 3-0 in Covid MMA. Moisés
Is a 25 year old product of DWCS Brazil 3. He’s 22 in the UFC including a loss to Dariush and an Achilles Lock win over Michael Johnson in May.

Preliminary Card
Lightweight Chris Gruetzemacher vs Alexander Hernandez
Hernandez exploded into the UFC with a massive 42 second upset KO of Dariush and a dominant win over Olivier Aubin-Mercier to follow it up. Since then he has gone 1-2, with TKO losses to Dober and Cerrone. Grutzemacher is 2-2 in the UFC, most recently defeating Lauzon by TKO corner stoppage in … 2018. He has been inactive for a while. I suspect this is a tune-up for Hernandez.

Bantamweight Adrien Yanez vs Victor Rodriguez
I don’t know these guys. Both are apparently making their promotional debut. Yanez is a 11-3 Bantamweight ranked #2 in Texas. Rodriguez is 7-2 Bantamweight ranked #2 in Alaska – it’s the large land mass showdown! Yanez is a contender series product with a 39 second TKO win in August. Rodriguez looks like a striker from his record. His most recent win was over 8-1 Jared Mazurek, but everything else looks like cans.

Middleweight Sean Strickland vs Jack Marshman
Hey Strickland is back! Not long ago I noted him as an underrated fighter. He went 7-3 as a welterweight, with losses to Ponzinibbio, Usman, and Elizeu Z Dos Santos – all very tough opponents – and wins over Taleb and Tom Breese. He hasn’t fought since 2018, and I can’t remember much of his style, but he punches and kicks and seems to grapple well too. Marshmann oof not so much. He is 3-4 in the UFC with losses to tough opposition (Thiago Santos, Shoe Face, and Shahbazyan) but no good wins. This looks like a tuneup divisional introduction for Strickland and a pink slip fight for Marshman.

Welterweight Cole Williams vs Jason Witt
Jason Witt lost his lone UFC fight by 48 second TKO to Takashi Sato in June. Cole Williams lost his lone UFC bout by neck crank to Claudio Silva (recently seen fighting James Krause) in 2019.

Light Heavyweight Dustin Jacoby vs Justin Ledet
Dustin and Justin. Justin Ledet is 3-3 in the UFC, and on a 3-fight skid. His highest profile performance was on the wrong end of a 15 second Johnny Walker backfist. Dustin Jacoby lost to Clifford Starks and Chris Camozzi way back in 2011/12, and since then he has taken a long route back to the UFC by way of WSOF, Bellator, and the Contender Series. All 5 of his career losses are to names, though not all of them are to good names.

Women’s Flyweight Cortney Casey vs Priscila Cachoeira
Good matchup with potential. Casey has had a mixed run in the UFC with all sorts of wins and losses to all sorts of people. She’s usually pretty game to scrap and grapple but she’s definitely a gatekeeper. Her most noteworthy win is a really sweet armbar in her divisional debut, but then she got choked out by now-contender Gillian Robertson in her followup. Cachoeira got Mario Yamasaki banned from the UFC. Seriously. She got beaten up so badly in her debut vs Valentina that the ref was cast into the wilderness. She is now 1-3 in the UFC with a KO win in her most recent.

Bantamweight Miles Johns vs Kevin Natividad
Johns is 10-1, with a loss at UFC 247 via “flying knee to ground and pound”. He’s a contender series product with a win over Adrien Yanez (see above). Natividad (8-1) is making his debut tonight. He’s an LFA product, which is usually a good sign. He has no notable names on his record, but I will add that he had a 12-1 amateur run which means that he's more or less a veteran.

Prediction. Uh… prediction. What kind of prediction can I make about this… I don’t feel strongly about anything.

How about a parlay? I’ll risk 12 hours vs someone’s 24, picking Fili, Strickland, and Hernandez.

Memento
Aug 25, 2009


Bleak Gremlin

tesilential posted:

Best mma podcasts

You’re welcome
Submission radio
Ariels show pre DC


E: I also listen to comain event and even some mma fighting, but tbh they have bad opinions and are bad

Wheeling back to this one, a definite criticism of the CME is how much they fence-sit on the subject of Jon Jones and his repeated positive PED tests. They were very quick to throw TJ Dillashaw under the bus for EPO but vacillate and talk in circles, especially Chad Dundas, about Jones and his testing positive for a drug most commonly used so you don't lose strength and conditioning during a weight cut, and that the positive test came during a weight cut.

mewse
May 2, 2006

I'm ready for Uriah Hall to become "He's Got That Look In His Eyes" Uriah Hall

e: wait, this sounds bad because "He's Got That Look In His Eyes" BJ Penn was an utter failure. What I mean is I'm ready for the new, new Uriah Hall

CarlCX
Dec 14, 2003

that's an awesome writeup, good job.

If you take away the Brunson fight, which you should because he really thoroughly should not have won that decision, Anderson hasn't won a fight in eight goddamn years and at this point I think even perennially scared of his shadow Uriah can murder him.

Orange Carlisle
Jul 14, 2007

Is John Gunther ever gonna fight again?

That guy was wild. I wonder if he's still living in his van.

Hollandia
Jul 27, 2007

rattus rattus


Grimey Drawer
Those alpaca aren't going to shear themselves.

Nierbo
Dec 5, 2010

sup brah?
Man Uriah Hall is an awkward grumpy interviewee

https://youtu.be/Kk-Mp6uYidE

crepeface
Nov 5, 2004

r*p*f*c*
izzy vs paulo costa rematch:

https://i.imgur.com/u2AtgYP.mp4

edit: please do not report me this was the result of many hours of computer simulation generated using state of the art machine learning

crepeface fucked around with this message at 13:26 on Oct 29, 2020

Mekchu
Apr 10, 2012

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Before anyone gets upset and pushes to remove that gif, I think that's accurate in its recreation.

Foul Fowl
Sep 12, 2008

"Roguelikes"*



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CarlCX posted:

that's an awesome writeup, good job.

If you take away the Brunson fight, which you should because he really thoroughly should not have won that decision, Anderson hasn't won a fight in eight goddamn years and at this point I think even perennially scared of his shadow Uriah can murder him.

if there's one guy anderson's dumb tricks are gonna work against it's hall. but hall could also just spin and hurl a stray limb at anderson's frail old body for a tko.

Memento
Aug 25, 2009


Bleak Gremlin

Mekchu posted:

Before anyone gets upset and pushes to remove that gif, I think that's accurate in its recreation.

needs to embed first tbh

Mr. Nice!
Oct 13, 2005

c-spam cannot afford



mewse posted:

I'm ready for Uriah Hall to become "He's Got That Look In His Eyes" Uriah Hall

e: wait, this sounds bad because "He's Got That Look In His Eyes" BJ Penn was an utter failure. What I mean is I'm ready for the new, new Uriah Hall

I think Chuck Liddell is the original owner of “that look in his eyes.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=39rEYKcAtbY

Mekchu
Apr 10, 2012

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Memento posted:

needs to embed first tbh


Works and shows fine on the Awful App.

Memento
Aug 25, 2009


Bleak Gremlin

Mekchu posted:

Works and shows fine on the Awful App.

Oh that's weird, it had [img] tags which definitely don't work on desktop, I guess they've massaged the app to make it work there.

Mekchu
Apr 10, 2012

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Memento posted:

Oh that's weird, it had [img] tags which definitely don't work on desktop, I guess they've massaged the app to make it work there.

Show's as a "gif" with a playbutton that you push and it plays the video. Either way you sorted it.

Southpaugh
May 26, 2007

Smokey Bacon


I'm pretty into that main card, green, holland. These guys are covid fight stalwarts.

brian
Sep 11, 2001
I obtained this title through beard tax.

yeah let's go bobby and kevin!! also the mitchell fight should be good

kimbo305
Jun 9, 2007

actually, yeah, I am a little mad
https://twitter.com/ddale8/status/1321545526714732550

Josuke Higashikata
Mar 7, 2013


Trumps gonna be mad when he finds out you need to make 265

moctopus
Nov 28, 2005

can't wait to buy the trump biden ppv.

crepeface
Nov 5, 2004

r*p*f*c*
Hunter vs Don Jr.

Southpaugh
May 26, 2007

Smokey Bacon


Putting my money on hunter crack and being a human toilet are a solid and reputable base for mma.

nordichammer
Oct 11, 2013
Otoh neurosis is also up there so his opponent also has a strong base

The Automator
Jan 16, 2009
Jon Jones has proven cocaine is an incredibly effective supplement so the house is on don jr

mewse
May 2, 2006

Southpaugh posted:

Putting my money on hunter crack and being a human toilet are a solid and reputable base for mma.

OTOH cocaine and instagram are also a proven base for MMA

Eat This Glob
Jan 14, 2008

God is dead. God remains dead. And we have killed him. Who will wipe this blood off us? What festivals of atonement, what sacred games shall we need to invent?

best freebase for mma

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

Nierbo posted:

Man Uriah Hall is an awkward grumpy interviewee

https://youtu.be/Kk-Mp6uYidE

I will fully admit to not watching this interview, I just wanted to state that Uriah has honed his awkwardness in the crucible of champions that is The Ultimate Fighter

kimbo305
Jun 9, 2007

actually, yeah, I am a little mad

The Automator posted:

Jon Jones has proven cocaine is an incredibly effective supplement so the house is on don jr

New Year's Eve fight card:
Trump x Biden
Don Jr x Hunter Biden
Conor x Mike Perry
the old man Conor punched x the old man Perry punched
Antonio Brown vs Logan Paul (no testing)

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Josuke Higashikata
Mar 7, 2013


Prelim headliner

The mugger Jones caught vs the pregnant lady Jones hit with a car

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