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Karma Tornado
Dec 21, 2007

The worst kind of tornado.

it's weird when they decide that they need to have somebody explain their fictional contract status on air, like they never had Bray Wyatt's swamp cult goons talk about how they were getting from the swamp to whatever venue the show happened to be at every week, or had the Shield tell Michael Cole backstage earlier today why arena security was letting them jump barricades. Whenever they remember that this is supposed to have actual sports trappings it just draws too much attention to the teleportation and invisible cameramen and dream sequences that awake people can see

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Wazzu
Feb 28, 2008

Are you sure I'm winning the Rumble? That does'nt seem right.....

MJeff posted:

Remember when Owens spent like a month and a half getting thrown off poo poo by Braun Strowman to put over Braun Strowman as a monster and the MitB briefcase holder?

How'd that briefcase run eventually go for Strowman go, anyway? I'm sure after Owens took so many bumps to put Braun over, it had a satisfying conclusion!

No, Owens suffered for months to establish Braun as a face.

Braun then turned heel straight after, leading to mitb cash in Braun Vs Roman hell in a cell with no finish.

JT Smiley
Mar 3, 2006
Thats whats up!

DeepDickPizza posted:

To emphasize how little WWE cares about Titles, the Intercontinental Champion was drafted in the "fourth round" behind both Lars Sullivan and the anarchist group that is trying to destroy the company.

I don't understand why one brand wouldn't just draft every championship they could right out the gate.

Vandar
Sep 14, 2007

Isn't That Right, Chairman?



NIA HAS PUT LANA THROUGH A TABLE FOUR TIMES NOW

FOUR!

For gently caress's sake!

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

Raw Results 10/12:
  • Detailed Results here.
  • Drew McIntyre beat up Randy Orton and ran him out of the ring to start the show.
  • Stephanie McMahon announced the first round of draft picks. Raw's first three people were Bray Wyatt, Randy Orton and Charlotte Flair. Smackdown's first two people were Bayley, Montez Ford and Angelo Dawkins.
  • Kevin Owens defeated Aleister Black in a No Disqualification match.
  • Raw's next three people were Braun, literal accused rapist Matt Riddle, and Jeff Hardy. Smackdown's two people were Daniel Bryan and Kevin Owens.
  • The Miz and Morrison interviewed Mandy Rose and Dana Brooke. Lana and Nattie came out and they brawled.
  • Literal white supremacist and sexpest Lars Sullivan attacked John Morrison.
  • Adam Pearce told The New Day and The Street Profits it made sense for them to swap their tag belts since they'd been drafted to different brands than their actual tag titles. Dolph Ziggler and Robert Roode demanded a title shot against New Day.
  • Raw drafted Retribution because their non-existent GM wanted to make sure the stable who is dedicated to the destruction of Raw stayed on Raw. Mercedes Martinez was not included. Raw also drafted Keith Lee and Alexa Bliss. Smackdown drafted literal white supremacist and sex pest Lars Sullivan, as well as Baron Corbin who only just got rid of Matt Riddle.
  • Seth Rollins said farewell to Raw, got interrupted by Jeff Hardy and AJ Styles and accepted a Triple Threat match.
  • AJ Styles defeated Jeff Hardy and Seth Rollins in a triple threat match, pinning Jeff Hardy after Elias - who was a face when he was last on TV - attacked Hardy from behind with a guitar.
  • Raw drafted Elias, Lacey Evans and Sheamus. Smackdown two people they drafted were Sami Zayn, Shinsuke Nakamura and Cesaro.
  • Mandy Rose and Dana Brooke defeated Nattie and Lana in a tag match. Nattie walked out on Lana for being a stupid loser.
  • Ricochet told Cedric Alexander that he wanted one last match together, and if he won their war was over forever and if he lost then he would join The Hurt Business.
  • Angel Garza defeated Andrade in a singles match, a wet fart of an ending to a long running storyline. Zelina was on commentary and said she was through with both of them.
  • The Fiend and Alexa Bliss appeared and did stereo synchronized Sister Abigails to Andrade and Zelina.
  • Raw drafted Nikki Cross, R-Truth and Dabba-Kato. Smackdown's two people they drafted were Dolph Ziggler, Robert Roode and Apollo Crews.
  • Kofi Kingston & Xavier Woods defeated Dolph Ziggler and Robert Roode to retain the Raw Tag Team titles (they swapped with Street Profits).
  • Elias claimed he was still blaming Jeff Hardy for running him down and put no stock in the "rumor" it was Sheamus who did it.
  • Ricochet defeated Cedric Alexander by DQ when he faked getting hit by a chair and the ref brought it.
  • Raw drafted Titus O'Neil, Peyton Royce and Akira Tozawa. Smackdown drafted Carmella and Aleister Black. This ended the draft, with additional picks to come on Raw Talk, which is a show that exists apparently.
  • Asuka was on commentary for a Number One Contenders Battle Royal to determine her next opponent for the Raw Women's Championship.
  • Lana won the Number One Contenders Battle Royal after having been put through a table AGAIN earlier in the match. She eliminated Nattie last after Nattie thought she'd won by eliminating Lacey Evans. Yes, that was the final three.
  • "OH MY GOD WE FORGOT ABOUT LANA!" shouted the commentary team.
  • Orton and McIntyre had been brawling backstage and showed up at ringside to keep brawling some more until officials ran down and swarmed them to try and separate them.
  • GDT Discussion here.

Jerusalem fucked around with this message at 04:07 on Oct 13, 2020

Neodoomium
Jun 20, 2001

You are now hearing this
noise in your head.



Wazzu posted:

No, Owens suffered for months to establish Braun as a face.

Braun then turned heel straight after, leading to mitb cash in Braun Vs Roman hell in a cell with no finish.

"Hell in a Cell Match with No Finish" is a pretty good indictment of modern day WWE, ain't it

STAC Goat
Mar 12, 2008

Watching you sleep.

Butt first, let's
check the feeds.

Jerusalem posted:

Raw drafted Titus O'Neil
Wait, what? He still wrestles? Did they really run out of people that fast?

bartok
May 10, 2006



Nice of Matt Hardy to eat the pin in a triple threat for a company he no longer works for.

KungFu Grip
Jun 18, 2008

Jerusalem posted:

[*] AJ Styles defeated Jeff Hardy and Seth Rollins in a triple threat match, pinning Matt Hardy after Elias - who was a face when he was last on TV - attacked Hardy from behind with a guitar.

drat can't believe Matt already left AEW just to go back to jobbing in WWE.

Jerusalem posted:

[*] Elias claimed he was still blaming Jeff Hardy for running him down and put no stock in the "rumor" it was Sheamus who did it.

Elias not only a heel, but also a complete loving idiot.

Jerusalem posted:

[*] Asuka was on commentary for a Number One Contenders Battle Royal to determine her next opponent for the Raw Women's Championship.
[*] Lana won the Number One Contenders Battle Royal after having been put through a table AGAIN earlier in the match. She eliminated Nattie last after Nattie thought she'd won by eliminating Lacey Evans. Yes, that was the final three.
[*] "OH MY GOD WE FORGOT ABOUT LANA!" shouted the commentary team.
[/list]

oh my god jobber lana has a raw women's title shot??????

JT Smiley
Mar 3, 2006
Thats whats up!
Ok I get it's funny to slip in fake results to see if people are aying attention, but Lana being the number one contender to Asuka is too dumb for anyone to fall for. You're better than this J-ru.

StarkRavingMad
Sep 27, 2001


Yams Fan

STAC Goat posted:

Wait, what? He still wrestles? Did they really run out of people that fast?

I’m pretty sure Jerusalem is just making these recaps up, they stopped making any sense months ago. It’s not like anyone is still watching to call him out on it

Edit: gently caress, beaten

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

KungFu Grip posted:

drat can't believe Matt already left AEW just to go back to jobbing in WWE.

:doh:

KungFu Grip
Jun 18, 2008



Love to invalidate my very important and meaningful draft almost instantly after it ends

STAC Goat
Mar 12, 2008

Watching you sleep.

Butt first, let's
check the feeds.

I flipped over briefly because the game was between innings and I'm a sucker for battle royals and they did this really (unintentionally) funny spot where Natalya and Lacey have dueling "almost eliminated" moments as they hang on desperately to the ropes. And Natalya like gets tossed in the middle of the ring and just dangles from the ropes having to use her strength to stay in and then fight her way back to the apron. And Lacey got tossed in the corner and had her back to the ring post and her rear end on the apron and just kind of dangled one leg lazily off to the side. And these two were clearly designed to be equal dueling spots. And that made me laugh.

Its comforting to know in these trying times that some things are constant like Lacey Evans is terrible and she's getting pushed regardless.

Davros1
Jul 19, 2007

You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible



Vandar posted:

NIA HAS PUT LANA THROUGH A TABLE FOUR TIMES NOW

FOUR!

For gently caress's sake!

I bet they're doing this in hopes of trying to provoke some sort of public reaction out of Miro

Astro7x
Aug 4, 2004
Thinks It's All Real
Lana and Nia are good friends. I am sure they don’t see it that way...

STAC Goat
Mar 12, 2008

Watching you sleep.

Butt first, let's
check the feeds.

I feel like "Lana is happy about it" just makes the whole thing sadder.

Lurks With Wolves
Jan 14, 2013

At least I don't dance with them, right?
You know what would be a really easy story to tell?

"We will give you AJ Styles* if you keep Retribution on your brand." Just something to show authority figures don't want to deal with them, instead of them being lame Demolition.

*Or "we won't draft Randy Orton", or something. The point is, they could do better and it wouldn't even be hard.

Wazzu
Feb 28, 2008

Are you sure I'm winning the Rumble? That does'nt seem right.....
I too remember being excited by the draft, years ago. It's so boring and stupid now, I feel no enthusiasm.

Dimebags Brain
Feb 18, 2013





Lurks With Wolves posted:

You know what would be a really easy story to tell?

"We will give you AJ Styles* if you keep Retribution on your brand." Just something to show authority figures don't want to deal with them, instead of them being lame Demolition.

*Or "we won't draft Randy Orton", or something. The point is, they could do better and it wouldn't even be hard.

As I said before, all these stories you could do with the draft require the characters to have more agency over their fate than the faceless all-powerful Brand, which WWE cannot fathom or allow.

Alaois
Feb 7, 2012

i feel like randy orton and drew mcintyre have been feuding for 7 years

Astro7x
Aug 4, 2004
Thinks It's All Real

Wazzu posted:

I too remember being excited by the draft, years ago. It's so boring and stupid now, I feel no enthusiasm.

The draft feels weird because I am not following the show and honestly can’t remember who’s on what brand. Then half the picks feel like it is just people staying on the same brand.

Would be better if it was like the old draft and they pick picked like 10 people that swapped and kept it simple.

Vandar
Sep 14, 2007

Isn't That Right, Chairman?



Asuka vs. Lana is going to end with Nia showing up to put Lana through a table, mark my words.

STAC Goat
Mar 12, 2008

Watching you sleep.

Butt first, let's
check the feeds.

Vandar posted:

Asuka vs. Lana is going to end with Nia showing up to put Lana through a table, mark my words.

I've seen no part of any of this besides that battle royal and even I can predict that for next week. It seems so blatantly obvious they should just advertise it.

Shard
Jul 30, 2005

My grandpa watched the saints game over raw tonight and it was great. Won it in overtime.

Astro7x
Aug 4, 2004
Thinks It's All Real

quote:

"Adam Pearce told The New Day and The Street Profits it made sense for them to swap their tag belts since they'd been drafted to different brands than their actual tag titles. Dolph Ziggler and Robert Roode demanded a title shot against New Day."

Wait, so did they just swap titles like they were interchangeable? I guess that's part of the problem of having an unoriginal name like the Raw and Smackdown Tag Team Championship

Woodchip
Mar 28, 2010
Shorty

G

Dango Bango
Jul 26, 2007

Neodoomium posted:

"Hell in a Cell Match with No Finish" is a pretty good indictment of modern day WWE, ain't it

They did at least a few more watch-alongs after X-Pac poo poo all over the DQ finish, right? Or did that kill it right there?

Shard
Jul 30, 2005

Jerusalem posted:

[*] Ricochet defeated Cedric Alexander by DQ when he faked getting hit by a chair and the ref brought it.
I used to love this spot for Eddie but I don't know why reading it here mashes Ricochet seem lame for doing it. I can't put my finger on it

Grem
Mar 29, 2004

It's how her species communicates

Did the Riott Squad not get drafted? Lol

Kosmo Gallion
Sep 13, 2013

KungFu Grip posted:



Love to invalidate my very important and meaningful draft almost instantly after it ends

Remember when Lars Sullivan called Jeff Hardy a junkie with no wrestling ability?

STAC Goat
Mar 12, 2008

Watching you sleep.

Butt first, let's
check the feeds.

Wait, didn't Jeff JUST get drafted to RAW?

JUNGLE BOY
Sep 23, 2019

Grem posted:

Did the Riott Squad not get drafted? Lol

What the gently caress is a Riott Squad

Edge & Christian
May 20, 2001

Earth-1145 is truly the best!
A world of singing, magic frogs,
high adventure, no shitposters

Grem posted:

Did the Riott Squad not get drafted? Lol
They were part of the supplemental draft on Raw Talk, they're on Smackdown now.

As it stands last I checked, the only (announced) people who remain UNDRAFTED FREE AGENTS are: Mickie James, Gran Metalik, Lince Dorado, Andrade, Erik, Billie Kay, Tamina, and Zelina Vega.

People who have just been unmentioned during all of this Draft talk but are still listed as Raw/Smackdown talent on WWE.com are: Becky Lynch, Big Show, Brock Lesnar, Ivar, Jason Jordan, Jinder Mahal, Bo Dallas, Kane, The Injured Uso, Maryse, Shane McMahon, Paige, and all three members of the Forgotten Sons.

Though also to be fair looking at WWE.com, Keith Lee is still a NXT superstar. As are all of the members of RETRIBUTION except Dio Maddin, who just doesn't have an entry at all.

If you want to assume they allowed roughly the same amount of talent into each 'draft pool', here are the perceived power rankings of WWE talent according to the Unseen GMs of Raw and Smackdown:

TIER 1
Drew McIntyre, Asuka, The Hurt Business, Roman Reigns, Seth Rollins, Bray Wyatt, Randy Orton, Bayley, Street Profits, Charlotte

TIER 2
AJ Styles, Sasha Banks, Naomi, Bianca Bel Air, Shayna Baszler, Nia Jax, Braun Strowman, Daniel Bryan, Matt Riddle, Kevin Owens, Jeff Hardy

TIER 3
Ricochet, Jey Uso, Mandy Rose, The Mysterios, Miz & Morrison, RETRIBUTION, Lars Sullivan, Keith Lee, Baron Corbin, Alexa Bliss

TIER 4
New Day, Big E, Dana Brooke, Otis, Angel Garza, Elias, Sami Zayn, Lacey Evans, Cesaro & Nakamura, Sheamus

TIER 5
Nikki Cross, Roode & Ziggler, R-Truth, Apollo Crews, Dabba-Kato

TIER 6
Titus O'Neill, Carmella, Peyton Royce, Aleister Black, Akira Tozawa

TIER 7
Humberto Carrillo, Tucker, Drew Gulak, Murphy, Kalisto, Lana, Riddick Moss, Arturo Ruas, Natalya, Riott Squadd

TIER 8
Shorty G

NOT WORTH DRAFTING
Mickie James, Gran Metalik, Lince Dorado, Andrade, Erik, Billie Kay, Tamina, and Zelina Vega

Edge & Christian fucked around with this message at 05:26 on Oct 13, 2020

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

STAC Goat posted:

Wait, didn't Jeff JUST get drafted to RAW?

Crazy he's already using up his ONE shot this quarter for a BRAND TO BRAND INVITATIONAL CLASH! :aaa:

JT Smiley
Mar 3, 2006
Thats whats up!
WWE drafts don't even make sense, because it's not like they're drafting unsigned young talent, they're just randomly moving people from one show to the other with no rhyme or reason. Even though they have an entire show filled with young up and coming wrestlers that could be drafted.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

Hell, the nWo in WWE was pretty lame but at least it was kind of a cool moment when Ric Flair as GM decided to draft them because he feared what they might get up to while out of his sight otherwise. Them reacting in a fury at suddenly being under Flair's authority was a cool bit as well.

There's not even any of that anymore. Why the gently caress would Raw draft Retribution? What possible appeal could there be in doing so? But then, why did they ever loving sign them to contracts in the first place?

JUNGLE BOY
Sep 23, 2019

JT Smiley posted:

WWE drafts don't even make sense, because it's not like they're drafting unsigned young talent, they're just randomly moving people from one show to the other with no rhyme or reason. Even though they have an entire show filled with young up and coming wrestlers that could be drafted.

this is how other sports work or so ive heard

STAC Goat
Mar 12, 2008

Watching you sleep.

Butt first, let's
check the feeds.

The right way to do it would be I guess an Expansion Draft where each brand gets X number of protection spots and Y number of picks. Then you could tell stories about who is and isn't protected and which unprotected wrestlers get passed over or get taken by surprise as top prospects or hidden gems.

But that's all far too much thought, planning, and character work for WWE.

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Hirez
Feb 3, 2003

Weber scored 49 points?

:allears: :allears: :allears:
also they don't have GM's (just anonymous tv execs!!!! and a robot) - Baron killed the position (with Paige) both ending Dec 2018; right before the McMahons promised the fans were in charge from now on! (and the Young Bucks were coming to save the WWE!)

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