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SniperWoreConverse
Mar 20, 2010







Gun Saliva

rolling lechery... 3

this splintery crate wrapped up in chains is on obvious kinkster and dtf



woah bb, the guild clerks aren't even paying attention but thery're right there, u really gonna risk DOIN IT in public like this?

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Pot Smoke Phoenix
Aug 15, 2007

Smoke 'em if you got 'em!



Dinosaur Gum

If it feels right, if feels right!

clockwork chaos
Sep 15, 2009






>> Rozalin steps forward, big hazy cloud enveloping her being except for her piercing reptilian eyes, she aims to end this debauxery before it gets worse. "Hands off jackbox, that crate is my fuckin' meal ticket splinterdick."

SniperWoreConverse
Mar 20, 2010







Gun Saliva

clockwork chaos posted:

>> Rozalin steps forward, big hazy cloud enveloping her being except for her piercing reptilian eyes, she aims to end this debauxery before it gets worse. "Hands off jackbox, that crate is my fuckin' meal ticket splinterdick."

Pot Smoke Phoenix posted:

If it feels right, if feels right!



a nearby guard doesn't particularly care but encourages you to move along and probably do your mission while youre at at it

all the guards in this city are also powerful battlemages this is a well known thing

Pot Smoke Phoenix
Aug 15, 2007

Smoke 'em if you got 'em!



Dinosaur Gum

"Eh? Gravity? YOU again! Well alright *hic* I'll leave this lass alone and be on my way"

I drink some more.

HugeGrossBurrito
Mar 20, 2018


Pot Smoke Phoenix posted:

If it feels right, if feels right!

buddy they wont even let me gently caress the box

staberind
Feb 20, 2008

Klomping endlessly thru the gray void...





Fun Shoe

If you could roll up a medeival peasant, stats all low 2+3,
Name "Farting Don McShireHearse"

Years of drudgery as a serf has made me yearn for adventure, however, possessing next to zero imagination or wit, I've taken to following adventurous looking people at a distance until they appear to accept me.
due to being completely unremarkable my stealth is quite high, but my wit too slow to take advantage of it.

Stoner Sloth
Apr 2, 2019



>>Sam replies to redm "Kinda like a bag of holding or something... as usual blame a bloody wizard is the short answer." before deciding to expedite proceedings before they get too illegally horny.

>>The mimic transforms, expanding into the size of a wagon as mass stored in their extradimensional stomach/vacuole/whatever the hell is brought out. A large pseudopod picks up the heavy cargo and places it inside the wagon before the mimic latches onto the mule, ready to start the journey.

>>Feeling perhaps a little sorry for the drunken crate fancier, Sam hands over an old back issue of 'Hot Box' magazine which the mimic claims only to read for the articles on current trends in storage containers to impersonate.

Mr.Pibbleton
Feb 3, 2006

Aleuts rock, chummer.



Carlina the samurai catgirl booty claps her way to the box and says decisively "We got a job to do so let's do it!" Her booby breasts bouncing with determination to do the job right. Tits.

clockwork chaos
Sep 15, 2009






>> Roz, noticing the work's been done adequately, hops into the mimicmobile and leans against the locked crate, finishing her Zlata cigar. "Aight peeps," she begins between puffs, "we got tons of daylight to burn, so pull up yer britches and let's burn rubber. Got a lot of distance to cover before the sun goes down."

Pot Smoke Phoenix
Aug 15, 2007

Smoke 'em if you got 'em!



Dinosaur Gum

clockwork chaos posted:

>> Roz, noticing the work's been done adequately, hops into the mimicmobile and leans against the locked crate, finishing her Zlata cigar. "Aight peeps," she begins between puffs, "we got tons of daylight to burn, so pull up yer britches and let's burn rubber. Got a lot of distance to cover before the sun goes down."

*Hic* More time to drink & *buuuuurrrrppp!* ride

SniperWoreConverse
Mar 20, 2010







Gun Saliva

staberind posted:

If you could roll up a medeival peasant, stats all low 2+3,
Name "Farting Don McShireHearse"

Years of drudgery as a serf has made me yearn for adventure, however, possessing next to zero imagination or wit, I've taken to following adventurous looking people at a distance until they appear to accept me.
due to being completely unremarkable my stealth is quite high, but my wit too slow to take advantage of it.

a powerful addition, all parties need a burglar


Pot Smoke Phoenix posted:

"Eh? Gravity? YOU again! Well alright *hic* I'll leave this lass alone and be on my way"

I drink some more.

you maintian drunk


Mr.Pibbleton posted:

Carlina the samurai catgirl booty claps her way to the box and says decisively "We got a job to do so let's do it!" Her booby breasts bouncing with determination to do the job right. Tits.

Preparations are now complete


Stoner Sloth posted:

>>Sam replies to redm "Kinda like a bag of holding or something... as usual blame a bloody wizard is the short answer." before deciding to expedite proceedings before they get too illegally horny.

>>The mimic transforms, expanding into the size of a wagon as mass stored in their extradimensional stomach/vacuole/whatever the hell is brought out. A large pseudopod picks up the heavy cargo and places it inside the wagon before the mimic latches onto the mule, ready to start the journey.

>>Feeling perhaps a little sorry for the drunken crate fancier, Sam hands over an old back issue of 'Hot Box' magazine which the mimic claims only to read for the articles on current trends in storage containers to impersonate.

clockwork chaos posted:

>> Roz, noticing the work's been done adequately, hops into the mimicmobile and leans against the locked crate, finishing her Zlata cigar. "Aight peeps," she begins between puffs, "we got tons of daylight to burn, so pull up yer britches and let's burn rubber. Got a lot of distance to cover before the sun goes down."

because everything is ready and nobody else apprently has ideas the party proceeds out of Frigg and you hit the road



you guys walk for three uneventful days until you get to


Dulcimer, a fancy town full of fancy lasses and fancy boys. They're well known for their fancy music and instruments.

If you want you can go into town but you have basically no money. Or you could continue your journey or w./e

Stoner Sloth
Apr 2, 2019



>>The mimic concentrates mostly on the road and the complex job of being a wagon over the last three days, possibly startling some in the group when the wagon suddenly speaks to ask whether the group wishes to stop in town - suggesting perhaps we could attempt to get some information and see if there's any small jobs we could do enroute to Xoma but seeming equally content to continue the journey.

redm
Feb 20, 2016
Probation
Can't post for 6 hours!


Sugartime Jones

my character goes into a shop and trades the box of corn dogs for a melodica and spends the rest of the night playing despacito

clockwork chaos
Sep 15, 2009






>> Roz hops out of the wagon a little too eagerly, three days nonstop between the strange gyrations of one member and the foul smelling, drunken ramblings of another and she desperately needs some away time. "I'ma ask around ring-a-ding town for some odd jobs, anyone with me or nah? Regardless, everyone should probbo meet back here in two hours max, yeah? Okay good."

>> She pops her neck and stretches, not waiting for a reply before walking into town.

redm
Feb 20, 2016
Probation
Can't post for 6 hours!


Sugartime Jones

my character plays 'zombie' by the cranberries on the melodica while continuing to sing the lyrics to despacito

SniperWoreConverse
Mar 20, 2010







Gun Saliva

redm posted:

my character goes into a shop and trades the box of corn dogs for a melodica and spends the rest of the night playing despacito

redm posted:

my character plays 'zombie' by the cranberries on the melodica while continuing to sing the lyrics to despacito

CRITICAL SUCCESS!!

you slam dunk the performance and people start dancing in the streets. The local bards want to know if you wanna join the College (of Bards)


Stoner Sloth posted:

>>The mimic concentrates mostly on the road and the complex job of being a wagon over the last three days, possibly startling some in the group when the wagon suddenly speaks to ask whether the group wishes to stop in town - suggesting perhaps we could attempt to get some information and see if there's any small jobs we could do enroute to Xoma but seeming equally content to continue the journey.

3
There's no jobs for spooky animate boxes, unfortunately.


clockwork chaos posted:

>> Roz hops out of the wagon a little too eagerly, three days nonstop between the strange gyrations of one member and the foul smelling, drunken ramblings of another and she desperately needs some away time. "I'ma ask around ring-a-ding town for some odd jobs, anyone with me or nah? Regardless, everyone should probbo meet back here in two hours max, yeah? Okay good."

>> She pops her neck and stretches, not waiting for a reply before walking into town.

1 CRIT FAIL
A group of well dressed toughs come out of an alley and demand you pay the entrance tax. They have clubs and one has a duel style sword. Probably these guys might be able to gently caress your poo poo up.

Pot Smoke Phoenix
Aug 15, 2007

Smoke 'em if you got 'em!



Dinosaur Gum

I stumbled behind the biggest shadow I can see through squinty, bloodshot eyes in the hopes that it's a building so I can piss out all the booze I've been drinking.

I balance a mug on my head and let it rip, while drinking from the other mug, oblivious to what others think.

When I'm done, I stumble to the nearest pub to stock up on much needed, and very important supplies

Mr.Pibbleton
Feb 3, 2006

Aleuts rock, chummer.



My entirely twerk based catgirl passes the local strip club and instead gets a one day job selling cell phone accessories in kiosk. I want to roll twerk to see how much commission money I make on this non-viable anachronistic business model.


redm posted:

my character plays 'zombie' by the cranberries on the melodica while continuing to sing the lyrics to despacito

As my booty sways to the beat I should get at least a +4 on my twerk roll.

clockwork chaos
Sep 15, 2009






SniperWoreConverse posted:

1 CRIT FAIL
A group of well dressed toughs come out of an alley and demand you pay the entrance tax. They have clubs and one has a duel style sword. Probably these guys might be able to gently caress your poo poo up.

>> Rozalin is so not in the mood for this, and has pent up stress that she channels into raw, fiery aggression. She lunges at the nearest dude, encompassed in a searing aura of scalding heat and attempts to bull rush the little man

SniperWoreConverse
Mar 20, 2010







Gun Saliva

Pot Smoke Phoenix posted:

I stumbled behind the biggest shadow I can see through squinty, bloodshot eyes in the hopes that it's a building so I can piss out all the booze I've been drinking.

I balance a mug on my head and let it rip, while drinking from the other mug, oblivious to what others think.

When I'm done, I stumble to the nearest pub to stock up on much needed, and very important supplies

rolling public intoxication... 7
it's a building but a shitload of people see you and are disgusted


Mr.Pibbleton posted:

My entirely twerk based catgirl passes the local strip club and instead gets a one day job selling cell phone accessories in kiosk. I want to roll twerk to see how much commission money I make on this non-viable anachronistic business model.


As my booty sways to the beat I should get at least a +4 on my twerk roll.

rolling twerk... -2
nobody knows what the hell a "phone" is supposed to be and people are getting pissed

the townspeople are getting super riled up and more toughs appear and they're gonna kick everyone's rear end except redm
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XjPF3AwVPM4


clockwork chaos posted:

>> Rozalin is so not in the mood for this, and has pent up stress that she channels into raw, fiery aggression. She lunges at the nearest dude, encompassed in a searing aura of scalding heat and attempts to bull rush the little man

rolling rage... -5 the dude easily hops back outta the way

there's 6 of these dudes altogether and the boss has a real sword, the rest have like chair legs and bomber jackets, poo poo like that.

Mr.Pibbleton
Feb 3, 2006

Aleuts rock, chummer.



clockwork chaos posted:

>> Rozalin is so not in the mood for this, and has pent up stress that she channels into raw, fiery aggression. She lunges at the nearest dude, encompassed in a searing aura of scalding heat and attempts to bull rush the little man

I'm going to hold back one round of combat to evaluate if any of the toughs might be a potential customer, if not then I'll attack with an iaijutsu technique where I dramatic sheathe my sword, rush forward and surprise them with a blow to the head with a boombox.

clockwork chaos
Sep 15, 2009






SniperWoreConverse posted:


the townspeople (of Dulcimer) are getting super riled up and more toughs appear and they're gonna kick everyone's rear end except redm

redm posted:

my character plays 'zombie' by the cranberries on the melodica while continuing to sing the lyrics to despacito

>> "Oh loving goddammit, the entrance tax is a loving music thing isn't it. For fucks sake." And then she just starts screaming. Even if it doesn't work, she'll keep screaming but also start beating the poo poo out of someone close by. The screaming might power her up and cause her fiery aura to explode

clockwork chaos fucked around with this message at 20:34 on Oct 4, 2020

Stoner Sloth
Apr 2, 2019



>>Currently Sam is still sulking about a lack of job opportunities for spooky animate boxes and stubbornly remains a wagon for now. While the mimic doesn't seem to move they start to gather up some of their mass, ready to project some pseudopods from beneath the wagon at ankle level if need be. Other than that the odd creature keeps up the disguise and remains silent.

SniperWoreConverse
Mar 20, 2010







Gun Saliva

Mr.Pibbleton posted:

I'm going to hold back one round of combat to evaluate if any of the toughs might be a potential customer, if not then I'll attack with an iaijutsu technique where I dramatic sheathe my sword, rush forward and surprise them with a blow to the head with a boombox.

nah they're like pounding clubs into the palms of their hand and laughing ominously and poo poo like that

rolling combat (twerk)... 29
You blindside a dude and slam him to the ground but he's able to get back to his feet


Stoner Sloth posted:

>>Currently Sam is still sulking about a lack of job opportunities for spooky animate boxes and stubbornly remains a wagon for now. While the mimic doesn't seem to move they start to gather up some of their mass, ready to project some pseudopods from beneath the wagon at ankle level if need be. Other than that the odd creature keeps up the disguise and remains silent.

ok they ignore you and instead focus on the real badass
2, -4, 2, -4, -12


they're able to gang up and beat some rear end! 3/5 hp
if you drop to zero you'll get knocked out and maybe murdered!


clockwork chaos posted:

>> "Oh loving goddammit, the entrance tax is a loving music thing isn't it. For fucks sake." And then she just starts screaming. Even if it doesn't work, she'll keep screaming but also start beating the poo poo out of someone close by. The screaming might power her up and cause her fiery aura to explode

actually the gang was just trying to rob you and everyone is genuinely impressed by redm's latent musical talents

rolling hothead... 2
you dart in and stab the one guy! and he's burned! he looks like poo poo! but it's not like he's dead or anything and these guys aren't about to run away.

Pot Smoke Phoenix
Aug 15, 2007

Smoke 'em if you got 'em!



Dinosaur Gum

I jump out of the pub stocked up on my much needed and very important supplies, and either A) Unload a keg of whoopass and defend my new drinking buddies and show them what they're paying for this go-around, or B) I'm gonna look like an utter rear end, but either way I'll still be drunk and shameless!

staberind
Feb 20, 2008

Klomping endlessly thru the gray void...





Fun Shoe

I supposed being covered in mud and stuff allowed me to pass un-noticed can i get a roll on a feat of pick pocketing?

Mr.Pibbleton
Feb 3, 2006

Aleuts rock, chummer.



SniperWoreConverse posted:


they're able to gang up and beat some rear end! 3/5 hp
if you drop to zero you'll get knocked out and maybe murdered!


My nipples fully erect in response to the threat I face, I'm gonna drop, low, real low, feel the flow and adopt a defensive wild wood stance against my attackers!




staberind posted:

I supposed being covered in mud and stuff allowed me to pass un-noticed can i get a roll on a feat of pick pocketing?

You uh, got any more of that mud? Asking for a friend.

Stoner Sloth
Apr 2, 2019



>>The mimic waits until the thugs are distracted and then snakes out a heavy duty tendril from beneath the wagon, attempting to wrap around one of the non-sword armed thugs ankles and tie them together, attempting to adhere firmly using suction cups and setae that form to pockmark the surface of the amoebic appendage, and then attempt to smash that thug into one of his friends like a crude club.

(This will be targeting the dudes beating up Mr Pibbleton)

staberind
Feb 20, 2008

Klomping endlessly thru the gray void...





Fun Shoe

I'll look in my many badly stitched pockets, ah, here you go : Hands you a couple of handfuls of camoflage mud, useful in this valley only,

SniperWoreConverse
Mar 20, 2010







Gun Saliva

Pot Smoke Phoenix posted:

I jump out of the pub stocked up on my much needed and very important supplies, and either A) Unload a keg of whoopass and defend my new drinking buddies and show them what they're paying for this go-around, or B) I'm gonna look like an utter rear end, but either way I'll still be drunk and shameless!

rolling drunken style... 2

you bust the injured guy in the face or maybe rear end region. You're not sure but that dude is probably going to die if anybody even taps him.


staberind posted:

I supposed being covered in mud and stuff allowed me to pass un-noticed can i get a roll on a feat of pick pocketing?

yeah lesse... 36 + crit!
You're able to stealthily grab the thug boss' sword without him noticing at all!


that's a pretty fuckin good sword, man! It's also the first sword you've ever held with your own impoverished hands!


Mr.Pibbleton posted:

My nipples fully erect in response to the threat I face, I'm gonna drop, low, real low, feel the flow and adopt a defensive wild wood stance against my attackers!




You uh, got any more of that mud? Asking for a friend.

rolling flow... 17
the toughs don't like the look of this and back off some. They're pretty unsure about this...

SniperWoreConverse
Mar 20, 2010







Gun Saliva

Stoner Sloth posted:

>>The mimic waits until the thugs are distracted and then snakes out a heavy duty tendril from beneath the wagon, attempting to wrap around one of the non-sword armed thugs ankles and tie them together, attempting to adhere firmly using suction cups and setae that form to pockmark the surface of the amoebic appendage, and then attempt to smash that thug into one of his friends like a crude club.

(This will be targeting the dudes beating up Mr Pibbleton)

rolling pseudopod... -2
they're freaked out and back away outta reach

staberind
Feb 20, 2008

Klomping endlessly thru the gray void...





Fun Shoe

While i went from least to most armed in the party, I still have little idea what to do with a rapier, however, i do have the beginnings of a catapult, let me see if I can use this piece of y shaped wood to dowse for some stretchy stuff,

clockwork chaos
Sep 15, 2009






>> Rozalin stands front and center, a blaze of ego and confidence, she motions to the street toughs with a sharp grin, "oh where'd that bravado go? Wanna go another round? Or how about you buy us a round and we talk it out, peaceful-like."

>> Aura still charged, she has her body tensed like a thermal coil, ready and willing to leap back in if this starts going sideways again.

SniperWoreConverse
Mar 20, 2010







Gun Saliva

staberind posted:

While i went from least to most armed in the party, I still have little idea what to do with a rapier, however, i do have the beginnings of a catapult, let me see if I can use this piece of y shaped wood to dowse for some stretchy stuff,

rolling dowsing... 4
the stick points to a nearby pile of garbage and stinking refuse that surely has what you want


clockwork chaos posted:

>> Rozalin stands front and center, a blaze of ego and confidence, she motions to the street toughs with a sharp grin, "oh where'd that bravado go? Wanna go another round? Or how about you buy us a round and we talk it out, peaceful-like."

>> Aura still charged, she has her body tensed like a thermal coil, ready and willing to leap back in if this starts going sideways again.

...9 the boss is pissed off and goes to reach for his sword and gasps "What the poo poo!?"
The other toughs notice this "oh man gently caress this kung fu poo poo" and they pack up the injured goon and flee

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PZ_7ipJ6Cx8

battle over!
loot is:

A pretty good sword

The townspeople are not really into this and other than redm obviously want you guys to get the hell out. Someone's eventually gonna call a guard on you guys for fighting in the street. but you got a little time yet

SniperWoreConverse fucked around with this message at 21:33 on Oct 4, 2020

Stoner Sloth
Apr 2, 2019



>>Sam quickly retracts the tendril and goes back to seemingly being nothing more than a harmless wagon the moment the gang members run, ready to leave once the rest of the group is.

Mr.Pibbleton
Feb 3, 2006

Aleuts rock, chummer.



Clearly we should award the powerful sword to the MVP of the battle, the peasant.

yoloer420
May 19, 2006


I want to be a theif kinda guy. I wanna minmax for maximum luck please.

clockwork chaos
Sep 15, 2009






>> Rozzy gloats a little more before haughtily walking back to the mimicmobile. "Did ya wanna sign on with the bard guild, musicman? Otherwise i think we outta continue blazing the trail."

Mr.Pibbleton posted:

Clearly we should award the powerful sword to the MVP of the battle, the peasant.

>> She nods, "finders keepers is the law of the land, after all." sneaky guy can be useful

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SniperWoreConverse
Mar 20, 2010







Gun Saliva

yoloer420 posted:

I want to be a theif kinda guy. I wanna minmax for maximum luck please.

alright so what like pick some locks maybe
maybe get an extra dice if you're outgunned

somethin like this?

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