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This is a thread to discuss pooping and share your best strategies, concerns, etc. first order of business is to talk about keeping your butthole and the surrounding area clean after pooping. here are some options: toilet paper used to wipe the poop away. the problem is that it's dry, so you're really just smearing poop around. and if you have a hairy butt it's an even bigger problem. another problem is toilet paper shortages. a few months ago people were selling this stuff off the back of pickup trucks for double and triple the price! baby wipes kind of like toilet paper but they're moistened so it helps clean your butthole better. if you're worried that baby wipes make you less of a man you can buy baby wipes that are repackaged in containers that say stuff like "ASSWIPES FOR MEN" with camo packaging. I'm pretty sure these can mess up your plumbing though, so I'm not sure what you're supposed to do with the used wipes. can anyone weigh in on this? bidet squirts water right into your butthole to help moisten things up. most people don't have a standalone bidet. but you can buy a bidet that attaches to your toilet for like 30 bucks. These are more popular outside of the US, presumably because men here are worried they will enjoy the butthole stimulation too much? I don't know, I'm open to theories. shower Some people only poop right before they take a shower. This is probably the best way to get completely clean after pooping, but it seems unrealistic to me. what happens if you're forced to poop away from your home base and there isn't a shower? ??? post any other tips and tricks you've learned here??
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# ? Oct 7, 2020 15:11 |
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# ? Mar 29, 2024 08:01 |
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I eat a very special diet that means I never have to poop.
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# ? Oct 7, 2020 15:22 |
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whenever somebody hands me their phone to scroll through some pics or something, I always think about how they use the phone while they're pooping and now I'm getting poop on my hands also
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# ? Oct 7, 2020 15:36 |
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eat a good high fiber diet op and your dumps will be like smooth damp cigars that your turd cutter can cleanly clip, requiring very little wiping. You can even just buy fiber powder and put a scoop in your morning coffee, if putting an end to your decadent american double fisting burger habit is too hard to kick
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# ? Oct 7, 2020 15:41 |
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You forgot to list the poopin stool OP, a must-have in any serious poopers water closet
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# ? Oct 7, 2020 16:23 |
The worst nightmare poops are when you have to do a liquid diet before some surgeries from what i understand. Like full on just liquid poo poo blasting doo doo water into your toilet. I can't imagine thats great what with the anxiety of being like .... hey im gonna be cut up, sure love this poopin. Anxiety water poops. I imagine a good poop is like..... 30 minutes in the bathroom with your cellphone and you forget you even poop but you still feel like it was a good poop. A good confident poop. You want confidence in your pooping. I guess by that logic publicly dumping in the water fountains at the mall must be the king of poops. Ultimate confidnce, ultimate poop.
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# ? Oct 7, 2020 16:28 |
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The best poops are the ones that slide out easy. You go to wipe and its completely clean. Confused you look down and the poop isnt even in the bowl. Where did it go? Did it clean itself up on the way out and swim down the toilet for you? Thank you magic poop
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# ? Oct 7, 2020 16:46 |
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RepeatingMeme posted:The best poops are the ones that slide out easy. You go to wipe and its completely clean. Confused you look down and the poop isnt even in the bowl. Where did it go? Did it clean itself up on the way out and swim down the toilet for you? Thank you magic poop Scientific term for this is angel kiss I have learned so much from my time here
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# ? Oct 7, 2020 17:43 |
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I have been having very gassy poops with minimal solids for a couple days, but just now I had a massive one that seemed like it got out all the accumulated solids that should have come out in previous poos, does that sound normal and/or good?
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# ? Oct 7, 2020 18:07 |
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Can we talk about the local pissing championships itt or do we need a separate thread for that.
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# ? Oct 7, 2020 18:15 |
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I’ve got a bit of a stomach bug or something this morning. I just pooped and let me tell you, it was not pleasant.
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# ? Oct 8, 2020 16:15 |
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sometimes the toilet poops in me
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# ? Oct 8, 2020 17:15 |
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Spreading in the shower for a specific stream is nice in more ways than one.
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# ? Oct 8, 2020 17:34 |
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I generally poop a large log twice a day with very little wiping required. It's very satisfying and I am proud of my regularity.
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# ? Oct 8, 2020 17:38 |
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Ehud posted:
You're not supposed to insert the baby wipes, friend.
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# ? Oct 9, 2020 22:31 |
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Lube up your rear end before every poo and you'll poo like a champ! This post was brought to you by astroglide
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# ? Oct 9, 2020 22:42 |
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Again I have a couple days worth of gas poops, and then a huge load of big fat coils, and no one can give me answers anywhere I look. Am I eating too many oreos? WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME
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# ? Oct 10, 2020 00:24 |
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There are two types of wipes, the plasticy ones that won't tear, don't break down in the sewer, and will probably eventually result in you having to call a plumber. Then there's the wet papery ones, which are safe to flush. If you can't tear it, don't flush it.
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# ? Oct 10, 2020 00:58 |
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Jasus Christ posted:Again I have a couple days worth of gas poops, and then a huge load of big fat coils, and no one can give me answers anywhere I look. Am I eating too many oreos? WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME Enjoy the variety.
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# ? Oct 10, 2020 00:58 |
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# ? Oct 10, 2020 12:23 |
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BigBadSteve posted:There are two types of wipes, the plasticy ones that won't tear, don't break down in the sewer, and will probably eventually result in you having to call a plumber. Then there's the wet papery ones, which are safe to flush. wtf plasticy wipes? now i’m trying to figure out which kind mine fall under
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# ? Oct 10, 2020 12:52 |
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RepeatingMeme posted:The best poops are the ones that slide out easy. You go to wipe and its completely clean. Confused you look down and the poop isnt even in the bowl. Where did it go? Did it clean itself up on the way out and swim down the toilet for you? Thank you magic poop The very first SA frontpage article I remember ever reading was about this. Ehud posted:toilet paper Pro-tip: You can dip the toilet paper lightly in the toilet bowl to convert the dry paper into a toilet-friendly wet wipe. You can even wash your hands in the same bowl and save water and time.
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# ? Oct 10, 2020 12:59 |
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Here in Korea, the toilets can't always handle both poop and toilet paper, so there's always a sign in the stalls telling you to flush the paper or throw it into the small trashcan provided next to the toilet.
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# ? Oct 10, 2020 13:00 |
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Shadow0 posted:Here in Korea, the toilets can't always handle both poop and toilet paper, so there's always a sign in the stalls telling you to flush the paper or throw it into the small trashcan provided next to the toilet. had a exchange student roommate in college who still did this even after i insisted our american plumbing could handle it. loving gross
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# ? Oct 10, 2020 13:02 |
Yeah having a no-wiper is cool, but have you ever had a no-flusher? You look down and there's no turd in the bowl? I'm telling you, godlike
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# ? Oct 10, 2020 13:02 |
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Because of tight resources my friend in the army mastered the art of wiping your rear end with only one piece of toilet paper. First you tear off a little corner and save it aside, then he said you basically put your finger through the middle of the sheet, get all the poo poo off onto your finger and then grasp the sheet tightly and pull the sheet up taking all the poo poo with it. Then you get the little tiny piece and use that to clean under your finger nail. Then wash your hands. Wouldn’t recommend trying it unless desperate to be honest.
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# ? Oct 10, 2020 13:08 |
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One quick tip: I ate an apple last night at 9pm, then had an incredibly satisfying bowel movement at 7:30am. very quick - I couldn't even finish a single news article. incredibly minimal wiping as well. nearly an hour later, I still feel a sense of satisfaction.
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# ? Oct 10, 2020 13:26 |
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I prefer to keep an arm sized dildo in my butt to just push the poop back where it came from
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# ? Oct 10, 2020 13:32 |
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I woke up about a two hours ago with really bad stomach pains and gas, ran to the toilet and sat on it for about 10 minutes pushing futilely, nothing happened. Went back to bed to lie down, pains flared up even more. Then I decided to get out of a bed, do a series of ten quick yet vigorous squats, felt a lot more pains and cramps, then suddenly felt like I broke a tripwire. I ran onto the toilet and blew out so much fecal matter it actually piled up beyond the water, exposed and glistening in the open air. And it was all sucked down like a fuckin' ham. I am still recoiling both from the physical and emotional trauma it has wrought on me. True story.
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# ? Oct 10, 2020 13:44 |
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kecske posted:You can even just buy fiber powder and put a scoop in your morning coffee woah wanna try this does it make your coffee taste rear end?
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# ? Oct 10, 2020 15:38 |
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Fiber powder + coffee worries me I feel like that would create a bowel emergency
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# ? Oct 10, 2020 15:53 |
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Ehud posted:Fiber powder + coffee worries me I eat a Quest bar (20+g fiber) and a large cup of coffee every morning. My bowels run as efficiently as a Toyota car factory
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# ? Oct 10, 2020 15:59 |
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Ehud posted:whenever somebody hands me their phone to scroll through some pics or something, I always think about how they use the phone while they're pooping and now I'm getting poop on my hands also OP I also use it to film myself fisting my own rear end and when jerking off hope this makes you feel less weird
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# ? Oct 10, 2020 16:04 |
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My cat and I enjoyed a simultaneous poo this morning, with me hunched an the toilet and she crouching in her box at my feet. A+ bonding experience.
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# ? Oct 10, 2020 17:07 |
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# ? Mar 29, 2024 08:01 |
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Shadow0 posted:Pro-tip: You can dip the toilet paper lightly in the toilet bowl to convert the dry paper into a toilet-friendly wet wipe. Ewww i cant wash my hands in it, i drink from there for gods sake!
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# ? Oct 10, 2020 17:14 |