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Artix
Apr 26, 2010

He's finally back,
to kick some tail!
And this time,
he's goin' to jail!
(This is a kinda-sorta sister thread to Argate's Xenoblade Chronicles LP which you should also check out)

The mid-2000's was a weird time for video games. With the PS2 generation in full swing, developers had finally (more or less) figured out this new-fangled 3D thing and were starting to make games that really experimented in a lot of ways. The RPG genre, though arguably a bit more resistant than most games, certainly had their own mix of ecclectic ideas - for every Dragon Quest VIII, there was Tales of the Abyss, a Final Fantasy XII, a Breath of Fire: Dragon Quarter, a Drakengard, a Xenosaga. But arguably, none of them were quite as weird as this game.



Baten Kaitos: Eternal Wings and the Lost Ocean was developed by Namco and Monolith Soft for the Gamecube in 2003, and is probably single-handedly responsible for my love of weird and off-the-wall poo poo. On the surface, it's a fairly standard JRPG, especially by 2003 standards. It has a weird card-based combat system, and the decision to go full pre-rendered for all the backgrounds was a little odd, to be sure, but one listen to Motoi Sakuraba's soundtrack and those worries would be washed away... At least, until you actually sit down and play it. Baten Kaitos is probably the weirdest, deliberately-designed game I've ever played in my life. A "deckbuilder RPG" doesn't do it justice - to play Baten Kaitos is to play Slay the Spire and Poker at the same time...with the same cards. Your cards (including your quest items) evolve over time, quite literally - bananas ripen and then rot, ice melts, and fire goes out. The entire game has this weird, tinny filter over the voice acting to simulate the effect of not actually being in this world with the characters. Suffice to say that Baten Kaitos marches to the beat of its own drum, and it does not give a drat if you are along for the ride or not.

(It should come as no surprise that the co-developer, Tri-Crescendo, would go on to make Eternal Sonata for the PS3/360. There will be a lot of parallels with that game as we go.)

Despite the oddities, the game actually reviewed fairly well, with an 80 on metacritic (and an 8.4 user score, for what that's worth), a score which is well-deserved in my opinion. Regardless of your opinion on the game's core mechanics, it's undeniable that the game is gorgeous, with one of Sakuraba's best pre-Dark Souls soundtracks and a story that hits the mark far more than it misses. It is janky, yes, and decidedly not for everyone on a lot of levels, but I love it to death.

My partner in crime, Fedule, has never played this game. He has only heard of it by reputation, which I suspect is the case for a lot of you as well (unless you cheated and read Overrated Sage's excellent LP of it), so let's try and keep the spoilers under control, yeah? :siren: Do not post anything we have not seen in a video yet outside of spoiler tags. :siren: Updates will be Mondays and Fridays unless otherwise noted.

Table of Contents

Disc One

Part 0: Introduction
Part 1: Cebalrai, the Farming Hamlet
Part 2: Moonguile Forest
Part 3: Nunki Valley
Part 4: Pherkad, the Ancient Capital
Part 5: Lord Rodolfo's Mansion
Part 6: Nashira, the Fishing Village
Part 7: Lesser Celestial River
Part 8: Cloud Passage
Part 9: Sheliak, the Castle Town
Part 10: Castle Elnath
Part 11: The Shrine of Winds
Part 12: Komo Mai, the City of Flowers
Part 13: Ancient Library of Magic
Part 14: Holoholo Jungle
Part 15: Opu, the Waterfall Village
Part 16: The Celestial Tree
Part 17: Heart of the Tree
Part 18: The Trail of Souls
Part 19: Portal to an Outer Dimension
Part 20: Parnasse, the Confectionery Village
Part 21: Detourne, the Mystical Garden
Part 22: Reverence, the Picture Book Village
Part 23: Nekton, the Shrine of Spirits
Part 24: Balancoire, Borough of Illusion
Part 25: Coccolith, Labyrinth of Mirrors

Disc Two

Part 26: Mintaka, the Imperial Capital
Part 27: The Battleship Goldoba
Part 28: Azha, the Mining Village
Part 29: The Lava Caves
Part 30: Mintaka Imperial Fortress
Part 31: Interdimensional Cracks (Part 1)
Part 32: Interdimensional Cracks (Part 2)
Part 33: Interdimensional Cracks (Part 3)
Part 34: The Ice Cliffs of Gomeisa
Part 35: Cursa, the Snowy City
Part 36: Kaffaljidhma, Castle of Ice
Part 37: Mintaka Imperial Fortress Redux
Part 38: The Sanctum of Malpercio
Part 39: A Moment of Respite
Part 40: The Labyrinth of Duhr
Part 41: Gemma Village
Part 42: Capella, the Garden of Death
Part 43: Zosma, Tower of Stones
Part 44: Algorab Village
Part 45: Larikush's Confession
Part 46: The Celestial Alps
Part 47: The Phantom Goldoba
Part 48: Nihal Desert
Part 49: Revenge of the Tower of Zosma
Part 50: The Illusory Fortress
Part 51: Greater Celestial River
Part 52: The Plan
Part 53: Cor Hydrae Castle (Part 1)
Part 54: Cor Hydrae Castle (Part 2)
Part 55: The Final Battle
Part 56: O Mighty Ocean...

Artix fucked around with this message at 19:32 on Feb 26, 2021

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Artix
Apr 26, 2010

He's finally back,
to kick some tail!
And this time,
he's goin' to jail!
So this is *technically* an ongoing LP that's been going on over at the LP Beach since the whole forums drama exploded earlier in the summer. If you were really so inclined, you could watch up to video 28 right now. However, in the interest of not dumping 30 videos on you from the start, I'm gonna post them in small bunches every couple days until we're caught up.

Part 0: Introduction
Part 1: Cebalrai, the Farming Hamlet
Part 2: Moonguile Forest

Artix
Apr 26, 2010

He's finally back,
to kick some tail!
And this time,
he's goin' to jail!

the 100% WR holder posted:

- But if it takes 336 hours, why is your record a little longer, like 339?
Because the items pause evolving when in the menus. The thing is, because this is a card-based RPG, you are menuing nearly ALL THE TIME: when you want to change your decks, when you select your loot at the end of fights, when you are in a shop... Which can very quickly add tens of hours when you play casually. That means I have to minimize absolutely every menus in the whole game, and I have to stay outside of menus while idling. Also, you get the Shampoo at around 45 minutes. Then, when it evolved, you have to fight the Last Boss, which takes a few more minutes. In the end, it means the theoretical minimum time is a bit above 337 hours. But the time spent in menus is always, ALWAYS, WAY longer than you imagine.

Artix
Apr 26, 2010

He's finally back,
to kick some tail!
And this time,
he's goin' to jail!
Every good JRPG needs obtuse mechanics and weird children characters. Most of them are sensible enough to not cast actual children as the VA, though.

Part 3: Nunki Valley
Part 4: Pherkad, the Ancient Capital

Artix
Apr 26, 2010

He's finally back,
to kick some tail!
And this time,
he's goin' to jail!
Party Member #3 doesn't take too long to join up, thankfully. A shame that we're headed to such water-heavy territory.

Part 5: Lord Rodolfo's Mansion
Part 6: Nashira, the Fishing Village

Artix
Apr 26, 2010

He's finally back,
to kick some tail!
And this time,
he's goin' to jail!
Have we mentioned this game's music loving owns yet? Because it does.

Part 7: Lesser Celestial River
Part 8: Cloud Passage

Artix
Apr 26, 2010

He's finally back,
to kick some tail!
And this time,
he's goin' to jail!
I suppose we should probably do something about this whole "war on Diadem's doorstep" thing, but we'll have to drag Kalas kicking and screaming into some heroism.

Part 9: Sheliak, the Castle Town
Part 10: Castle Elnath

Artix
Apr 26, 2010

He's finally back,
to kick some tail!
And this time,
he's goin' to jail!
In today's episodes, we're taking our good buddy Lyude, who definitely does not have anything wrong with him, to go cause an international incident or two. What could possibly go wrong?

Part 11: The Shrine of Winds
Part 12: Komo Mai, the City of Flowers

Artix
Apr 26, 2010

He's finally back,
to kick some tail!
And this time,
he's goin' to jail!
I'm beginning to think that maybe someone should have checked up on this library a few hundred years before it was lost to the undead.

Part 13: Ancient Library of Magic
Part 14: Holoholo Jungle

Artix
Apr 26, 2010

He's finally back,
to kick some tail!
And this time,
he's goin' to jail!
Part 15: Opu, the Waterfall Village
Part 16: The Celestial Tree

Today we're encountering one of the rarest beasts of all - an operation that went exactly according to plan???

Artix
Apr 26, 2010

He's finally back,
to kick some tail!
And this time,
he's goin' to jail!
Part 17: Heart of the Tree
Part 18: The Trail of Souls

Strap the gently caress in kids, we're going to Mira. Whatever you thought was weird about this game, you ain't seen poo poo.

Artix
Apr 26, 2010

He's finally back,
to kick some tail!
And this time,
he's goin' to jail!
Savyna is definitely more situational than some but when she's good, she's really good. She packs more of a punch than Xelha's magic, and her fire cards are significantly better than Gibari's if for no other reason than so many of his best cards and finishers are water-based. And in situations where you do want water, Savyna/Gibari gets the job done better than anyone, Xelha included.

Artix
Apr 26, 2010

He's finally back,
to kick some tail!
And this time,
he's goin' to jail!
Part 19: Portal to an Outer Dimension
Part 20: Parnasse, the Confectionery Village

Up until this point, Baten Kaitos has had some strange design decisions, but is largely a bog-standard JRPG in terms of settings and aesthetics. Mira...well, I suppose you'll see for yourself real quickly.

Artix
Apr 26, 2010

He's finally back,
to kick some tail!
And this time,
he's goin' to jail!
Part 21: Detourne, the Mystical Garden
Part 22: Reverence, the Picture Book Village

I could make the obvious joke about Kalas here, but instead we're just gonna say that nothing embodies how little Mira gives a gently caress about your established aesthetic or...anything, really quite like Detourne.

Artix
Apr 26, 2010

He's finally back,
to kick some tail!
And this time,
he's goin' to jail!
Part 23: Nekton, the Shrine of Spirits
Part 24: Balancoire, Borough of Illusion

Nekton and Balancoire are far and away the most "normal" areas of Mira. They are also, apropos of nothing, the most boring areas of Mira. Related? You decide.

Artix
Apr 26, 2010

He's finally back,
to kick some tail!
And this time,
he's goin' to jail!
Part 25: Coccolith, Labyrinth of Mirrors

And with that, we have officially made it to the end of Disc 1. What horrors (both in-game and designer-fueled) await us in the second half?

Artix
Apr 26, 2010

He's finally back,
to kick some tail!
And this time,
he's goin' to jail!
Part 26: Mintaka, the Imperial Capital
Part 27: The Battleship Goldoba

We begin Disc 2 with a daring raid into the Empire, immediately blowing our cover, and nearly getting ourselves killed over a plan that was obviously never going to work. So, all in a day's work for these goobers.

Artix
Apr 26, 2010

He's finally back,
to kick some tail!
And this time,
he's goin' to jail!
Part 28: Azha, the Mining Village
Part 29: The Lava Caves

And then we immediately turn around and hit the double whammy of War Crimes O'Clock and the big plot twist for Act 1.

Artix
Apr 26, 2010

He's finally back,
to kick some tail!
And this time,
he's goin' to jail!
Fun fact, if you know where to look you can see exactly when it happens and who the traitor is.



Prior to leaving Anuenue, we have the End Magnus safely in our possession.



After the encounter in Parnasse (this was taken in Detourne), it's missing. How did that happen? :thunk:

Artix
Apr 26, 2010

He's finally back,
to kick some tail!
And this time,
he's goin' to jail!
Part 30: Mintaka Imperial Fortress
Part 31: Interdimensional Cracks (Part 1)

So Kalas is actually a villain. Now what? Well, our new party leader is going to have to start by getting the band back together, and boy do we have just the plan for it.

Artix
Apr 26, 2010

He's finally back,
to kick some tail!
And this time,
he's goin' to jail!
Part 32: Interdimensional Cracks (Part 2)
Part 33: Interdimensional Cracks (Part 3)

This particular part of the game is...well, it's not very interesting and gets very samey very quickly. It's really unfortunate! They wouldn't have needed *that* much work to make this section work.

Artix
Apr 26, 2010

He's finally back,
to kick some tail!
And this time,
he's goin' to jail!
Part 34: The Ice Cliffs of Gomeisa
Part 35: Cursa, the Snowy City

Surely this time that we go off searching for a mysterious witch who may or may not even exist will be the time we get it right.

Artix
Apr 26, 2010

He's finally back,
to kick some tail!
And this time,
he's goin' to jail!
Part 36: Kaffaljidhma, Castle of Ice
Part 37: Mintaka Imperial Fortress Redux

Meant to post this yesterday but forgot. Anyway, we have a mirror, we have a dragon, now to storm the fortress and take the fight to Kalas and Melodia. As usual, the plan is flawless and nothing is going to go wrong. Nothing.

Artix
Apr 26, 2010

He's finally back,
to kick some tail!
And this time,
he's goin' to jail!
Part 38: The Sanctum of Malpercio
Part 39: A Moment of Respite

And with that, we are now completely caught up. Everything has gone exactly to plan, and we're definitely not scrambling for a third-string plan to beat Malpercio. Definitely not.

Artix
Apr 26, 2010

He's finally back,
to kick some tail!
And this time,
he's goin' to jail!
Part 40: The Labyrinth of Duhr

The labyrinth is a lot less intimidating than it seems, aside from the starting area, there's only a couple splits and they all dead end very quickly. There isn't even a boss!

Artix
Apr 26, 2010

He's finally back,
to kick some tail!
And this time,
he's goin' to jail!
Part 41: Gemma Village

Following our escape from the harrowing labyrinth, we're getting some R&R in Mizuti's home base. There's not much going on here, but for once that might be a good thing?

Artix
Apr 26, 2010

He's finally back,
to kick some tail!
And this time,
he's goin' to jail!
Part 42: Capella, the Garden of Death

Capella could have been so much worse than it actually is, but let's not let it off the hook just because it's only two screens long. Those are a miserable two screens, after all.

Artix
Apr 26, 2010

He's finally back,
to kick some tail!
And this time,
he's goin' to jail!
Despite my best efforts to abandon long-running projects we just haven't had a chance to record since our session fell through last week. Got everything up to the endgame sidequests recorded and I'll have a poll out for those in uh, two-ish videos time? Somewhere thereabouts.

Artix
Apr 26, 2010

He's finally back,
to kick some tail!
And this time,
he's goin' to jail!
Okay so the next time we'll be able to record is probably some time next week, so in the meantime I'm gonna get started on recording the endgame. The next two videos will cover the remainder of the Children of the Earth's plot, and after that, we'll be in the big endgame sidequest hunt. Kalas's is mandatory, but the others can be taken at your leisure, up to and including skipping them entirely (do not do this, they have Class 6 items for everyone among other goodies). I'm opening the floor to you guys to decide the order we tackle these bad boys in, and you can vote here. I'll close this once we get the next video out and we'll do them in order of votes. I am not going to reveal whose sidequest is which, but they should be fairly obvious.

See you next week!

Artix
Apr 26, 2010

He's finally back,
to kick some tail!
And this time,
he's goin' to jail!
Part 43: Zosma, Tower of Stones

Sorry about the delay, folks! We're back, just in time to tackle the best dungeon in the game. I hope everyone is ready for the greatest block pushing puzzle ever made.

Artix
Apr 26, 2010

He's finally back,
to kick some tail!
And this time,
he's goin' to jail!
Part 44: Algorab Village

We've escaped from the Tower of Zosma, only to run face-first into Malpercio himself. It'll be fiiiiiine, what's the worst that could happen?

Artix
Apr 26, 2010

He's finally back,
to kick some tail!
And this time,
he's goin' to jail!

NGDBSS posted:

Is Baten Kaitos Origins in the cards :v:, or is that too far off to consider right now? I'm loving this ongoing nonsense plot that's straight out of tabletop roleplaying. Just loads of "making crap up as we go" and not stopping to care how well it holds together.

The remainder of the game is actually quite short. We have a plot dump next video, followed by the character-specific side quests, maybe another plot video? I'm not 100% on how that's gonna shake out, and then the final dungeon.

As for BKO, I have gone back and forth a couple times on it and the answer is "Never say never but probably no." To make a long story short, it falls into the same bucket as Darksiders 2 where I don't like a lot of the mechanical changes they made (even if they are objectively better in a game design way) and more importantly, I've never finished it because I just outright don't like it as much as the original. Music fuckin slaps though, The Valedictory Elegy might be my favorite Sakuraba song ever.

Artix
Apr 26, 2010

He's finally back,
to kick some tail!
And this time,
he's goin' to jail!
Part 45: Larikush's Confession

We're back from dealing with the Children of the Earth and turned loose in the sky, at least for now. The Doc has letter for us though, promising some truly shattering revelations. They are...not, to put it mildly.

Artix
Apr 26, 2010

He's finally back,
to kick some tail!
And this time,
he's goin' to jail!
Part 46: The Celestial Alps

We're off to the mountains to find out what Georg has left for us in the world's dumbest inheritance bequest.

Artix
Apr 26, 2010

He's finally back,
to kick some tail!
And this time,
he's goin' to jail!
Part 46.5: A Teaser of What is to Come

This is...not an update. Not really, anyway. This is where I WOULD have polled to see which sidequest we were doing but I uh, already did that. So this is the little bit of context that gets us from what Kalas was doing to the start of the next video, where Lyude is up to bat first.

Artix
Apr 26, 2010

He's finally back,
to kick some tail!
And this time,
he's goin' to jail!
Part 47: The Phantom Goldoba

Our first stop on the grand sidequest tour is Mira, or more specifically the Trail of Souls. Lyude won't be happy about it, but no one seems to care what he thinks regardless so I'm sure it'll be fine.

Artix
Apr 26, 2010

He's finally back,
to kick some tail!
And this time,
he's goin' to jail!
Part 48: Nihal Desert

One war criminal down, one to go as we head for Alfard for Savyna's sidequest. This area has an...interesting gimmick which probably goes on a bit long, but at least it's not very difficult if you know where everything is from the start. If not...well, I can imagine this would be a lot less fun.

Artix
Apr 26, 2010

He's finally back,
to kick some tail!
And this time,
he's goin' to jail!
Part 49: Revenge of the Tower of Zosma

That's right baby, it's time for round 2 of everyone's favorite dungeon. Marvel at the sights, take in the puzzles, and embrace the special surprise awaiting anyone foolish enough to get all the way to the bottom.

Artix
Apr 26, 2010

He's finally back,
to kick some tail!
And this time,
he's goin' to jail!
Part 50: The Illusory Fortress

Xelha's sidequest takes us to a new and exciting setting of "inside a book" and uh...well, an attempt was made, I guess...?

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Artix
Apr 26, 2010

He's finally back,
to kick some tail!
And this time,
he's goin' to jail!
Part 51: Greater Celestial River

The final sidequest takes us back to Nashira and the most important sidequest of all: fishing.

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