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i started fresh out of high school. never really had the marks for college, and frankly never really had the drive for it anyway. and since my dad was working there, and my grandpa worked their until he retired, i figured it made sense for me to work there to. keep it in the family, y'know?
biosterous fucked around with this message at 04:55 on Oct 13, 2020
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Oct 13, 2020 04:53
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nah, i'm not too worried about being replaced. that little bot can indeed do some good work, but it just doesn't have the throughput of an industrial-scale dick-sucking factory. and i think this whole lockdown has shown that this country's pretty dependent on industrial-level dick sucking to keep functioning. lotta people in quarantine went a bit stir crazy because they couldn't access dick sucking on the level they'd gotten used to. gotta admit the trolley's pretty slick, though.
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Oct 13, 2020 04:55
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well, we're definitely the largest factory in the region, but we're definitely still at the regional level. we don't have the capacity to compete with the Big Two by any means. but we've got a strong, loyal consumer base in the area, and that keeps us solidly in the black all year round. it's like, we're not ever going to be the coke or pepsi of sucking dicks, but we can be the boylan's cane cola of the area. folks around here are happy to pay a little more to have their duck sucked by a local company, and frankly i feel the quality's higher here too.
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Oct 13, 2020 05:00
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see, the problem with the massive dick-sucking conglomerates is that their quality-control processes can only bring things up to a minimum level, y'know? with so many dick-sucking factories all over the country, they can't ensure the same high-quality sucking everywhere, so they have to just make sure that there's no low-quality sucking anywhere. so while they can promise that any dick-sucking by their factories is gonna be of an acceptable level, they can't promise it's gonna be great. we are an industrial operation, but since we've just got the one plant we can be sure that every dick is well sucked. it's a point of pride for me.
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Oct 13, 2020 05:02
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oh yeah, it was fun working there the same time as my dad. i was still living at home, of course, being right out of highschool, so heading to the factory with him every morning really helped me transition my routine from school life to working life. free room and board, free ride to and from work, without any extra imposition on him - really helped me get my feet under myself quickly. with the money i saved i probably could've moved out a year or two earlier than i did, but frankly i didn't really feel the need - it was nice getting up at the crack of dawn, sharing breakfast and the paper with the old man, then heading out to the plant together. of course, any time i had a hangover he'd definitely take pleasure in waking me up on time and being extra loud about everything. there's nothing quite like blearily hitting the snooze button on your alarm, followed by your dad bursting in and hollering "wake up boy, those dicks ain't gonna suck themselves!"
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Oct 13, 2020 05:07
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sexual? i guess there probably were some folks who got a thrill out of it, but that's gotta be rare, right? like those guys that have sex with their cars? [...] no, not in their cars, with their cars. saw it in a documentary a year or so back. ranged from weird to dangerous, depending on what parts they were into. but no, i didn't ever get any sense of anyone at our plant feeling that way. it's a job, y'know? and it's pretty repetitive, and you gotta be smart about the ergonomics if you want to retire without bad joints.
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Oct 13, 2020 05:13
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oh no, it's super repetitive, at least once you've been doing it for a while. when you first start out it takes all your attention, but a few years on the line and you can suck dicks all day without really paying them too much mind. since there's no moving parts near my station i can actually listen to music or podcasts all day, as long as i keep the volume low enough to hear the super if he hollers. really it's nice to have work where i can do the same physical things all day, without having to think about it to much, and be allowed to let my mind roam free. i've got the music but there are days when i won't listen to it at all, and just zen out and do some thinking while sucking dicks. it's meditative, almost. or i assume, i haven't really tried meditation.
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Oct 13, 2020 05:17
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They always tell you that a man who enjoys his work doesn’t work a day in his life. Now I’m not a brown noser but I’ve been a dick sucker from the beginning. it’s just in my blood you know. while other kids were studying for the SAT or applying to college I was interning down at the dick sucking factory. sure I didn’t get to suck any dicks back then, but as I looked out on the floor and saw all the guys out there gettin 8 hours pay for 8 hours work, I just felt pride you know? I knew that once I left highschool the dick suckin life would be for me. it’s one of the last industries that still has companies that promote from within. I figured I graduate, get a dick sucking apprenticeship at the factory and work my way up. sure you start out just mopping floors, but before you know it I’ll be put on the line and suckin dicks with the best of them. hell next thing you know I’ll be a dick sucking journeyman, on my way to running whole crews of dick suckers. one day sure, I’ll have to stop working for the floor as I rise in the ranks. maybe someday I’ll even be running the whole factory, and I’ll have the guys respect. I didn’t just graduate with a degree in dick sucking management and get hear hunted to run this dick sucking factory, shiny shoes and crisp shirts. I’ll look around and I’ll know those guys, and they’ll know me I’ll be able to say that I could suck a dick as good as any man here, and no one will doubt me, because they’ll have all seen it.
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Oct 13, 2020 05:51
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do you worry about losing your job to automation
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Oct 13, 2020 05:58
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when industrialization killed the farm, we really lost that culture of bespoke, artisanal dick sucking, you know the kind of dick sucking done by men who grew up surrounded by it and really just loved and lived it. the old dick sucking guilds were supplanted by factories full of wage workers who were just sucking dicks to feed their families and scrabble through life. times were hard, you had to do what you had to do. and that old demon, that dick-sucking robber baron Harry Johnson, took every possible pain to seal their fate. you know that's the true origin of No Nut November, right? he sold it as a moral sort of thing, sort of like the Catholic Lent, and a demonstration of his commitment to the betterment of America, but in reality he knew the last holdouts of his competition couldn't take a month-long starvation, and he hired an army of ball busters to make doubly sure that was indeed the case. and then he followed it with the Destroy Dick December campaign to inaugurate his complete stranglehold on the domestic dick sucking industry. kind of hosed up that we still celebrate that old cock goblin's holidays, but they've taken on their own meaning in the modern era, you know? anyway, bringing back that old artisan's touch, that air of tradition, is why I started Bobby's Best Blowjobs. we want to bring back that kind of experience that's more than just some dude slobbing on your hog. we want you to feel generations of experience behind that mouth. we want you to give you the kind of experience you can only get from dick-suckers who not only love the dick, but have lived it all their lives. we've opened up a new type of restaurant we're calling a gastrochub where you can sit down and really savor your dick sucking experience with a gourmet burger and some pomme frites. "cum" check us out at the corner of Gunt and Nutsack |
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Oct 13, 2020 15:42
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the big problem is that the boss wants to pivot to sustainable dick sucking, and when you've been sucking dick as long as I have there's just no way to get reeducated on Green Dick Principles
your friend sk fucked around with this message at 03:11 on Oct 14, 2020
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Oct 13, 2020 17:39
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what do you think you could bring to the team here? well, i could suck their dicks
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Oct 13, 2020 19:32
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So I've replaced all of Dwight's dicks with vaginas and so far he hasn't noticed. It's been three weeks. 
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Oct 13, 2020 19:40
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google THIS posted:So I've replaced all of Dwight's dicks with vaginas and so far he hasn't noticed. It's been three weeks. inspired by this 
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Oct 13, 2020 20:08
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Good too see someone in the same field as me. It's been a wild ride so far ever since I got a promotion to fudge packing
Hello it's me |
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Oct 13, 2020 20:15
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nut posted:inspired by this lmao |
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Oct 13, 2020 20:26
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i always tried to give the balls some work too, you know? anyone can suck a dick, but if you want a real load, you gotta practice your ball work |
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Oct 13, 2020 21:21
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i really miss it, everything 'bout it. the changeroom chatter, catching up on gossip while changing into our scrubs, makin' sure we had enough lip chap to last the day. lunch breaks where a friend would massage yer jaw, make sure you weren't gonna lock up on the line. sharing a smoke in the parking lot after the shift ended, satisfied by a long days suck, ready to go home to our families, and repeat the process. but ever since the rear end eating factory opened things ain't been the same. less hours, layoffs. some of the youngins retrained and got hired on, but me? hell. i was born a cocksucker, and i'll die one.
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Oct 13, 2020 21:32
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Things really changed when Six Inch Sigma came along and it was the new management fad.
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Oct 13, 2020 21:43
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nut posted:inspired by this
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Oct 13, 2020 21:56
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nut posted:inspired by this |
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Oct 13, 2020 22:49
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Bacon Taco posted:Things really changed when Six Inch Sigma came along and it was the new management fad.
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Oct 13, 2020 23:10
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nut posted:inspired by this
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Oct 13, 2020 23:42
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Well, thank you for sharing your tales of industry. Let me assure you: I’m certainly not going to go to your workplace and slap the dick out of your mouth. That would go against the whole point of the operation. |
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Oct 14, 2020 01:02
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nut posted:inspired by this |
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Oct 14, 2020 01:17
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This town? this ole town was built on dick-sucking. Never known anything else, but it's a dying business around here. Movin all the factories down south where there ain't no union or packin it up and movin 'em overseas. Don't make any sense to me, but here we are. Time and motion guys come in and do studies, say they can suck dicks twice as fast and for a third the cost in Japan, but who the heck's gonna go to japan for a dick sucking? Used to be five dick-sucking factories here, runnin 3 shifts each-15,000 prime cocksuckers in this town and good folks that knew their trade. Now we've got 1 plant runnin one shift, and they're on short time these days. 15,000 down to 200 part timers. Used to be 4 grocery stores and Spunkermann's deptartment store down on main straight-now alls we've got is the walmart. Things have sure changed. Back in the day we used to suck cocks from all over the world-Germany, England, Italy, hell I even sucked a French cock in my time- and they were damned grateful for it too. Said all their dick-sucking factories got bombed in the war and they hadn't had a real dick sucking since '39. Guess that's what we were fighting for really-the freedom to suck dick. Never thought of it that way, but I think it's true.
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Oct 14, 2020 01:41
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people used to take a lot more pride in where they got their dick sucked. when i first broke into the industry i was an apprentice at a small artisan suckery, and we would spend hours on each one. sometimes we'd get a big spender in town and spend a couple days--each lick perfectly placed, each drop perfectly swallowed. a dick that can be sucked for generations. but nowadays people expect such fast service that it's hard to tell whether they're cumming or going |
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Oct 14, 2020 03:26
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People ask me how many dicks I've sucked today but it's not like that. I mostly do scheduling for the team here, it's important they keep their noses to the grindstone so I do my best to get them the shifts they need and the time off they want. I think communication is the key. To be honest, I've been off the line so long I can barely remember what a dick feels like, but I go down to the floor and have a chat although this takes some patience as their mouths are often full. I encourage them to think ahead and remind them of events that might be coming up so that I can get the roster tight well in advance. When you get to know them, there's a sixth sense you get about when they're gonna need time off, and I can provide a lot of surety to people with a tough job. Last year, there wasn't a single person sucking dick at Christmas who hadn't volunteered for it. I challenge you to find another workplace in the state where that was the case. I'm really proud of that. |
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Oct 14, 2020 09:58
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Kaiser Schnitzel posted:This town? this ole town was built on dick-sucking. Never known anything else, but it's a dying business around here. Movin all the factories down south where there ain't no union or packin it up and movin 'em overseas. Don't make any sense to me, but here we are. Time and motion guys come in and do studies, say they can suck dicks twice as fast and for a third the cost in Japan, but who the heck's gonna go to japan for a dick sucking?
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Oct 14, 2020 13:41
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Kaiser Schnitzel posted:This town? this ole town was built on dick-sucking. Never known anything else, but it's a dying business around here. Movin all the factories down south where there ain't no union or packin it up and movin 'em overseas. Don't make any sense to me, but here we are. Time and motion guys come in and do studies, say they can suck dicks twice as fast and for a third the cost in Japan, but who the heck's gonna go to japan for a dick sucking? 
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Oct 14, 2020 16:40
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There was this Colombian man that worked the plant--Miguel. Incredible guy. He'd suck two, three dicks at once. When he'd really go at it, the other workers and I would put down our dicks and just watch him for a bit. Absolutely hypnotizing, the way he worked. Then one day, he tried sucking four dicks at once, and, well, Miguel's not sucking dicks anymore.
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Oct 14, 2020 16:56
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I think a lot of the womenfolk were hoping things would stay different. They sucked dicks all through the war, and no sooner did it end when the cries of "Dick sucking is man's work (no homo)!" began, some of them from supervisors who had commended the women workers up until that day. Even now, decades later, women make up only 20% of our dick sucking force. If any of them ever get promoted there are whispers all over the plant that she must have done something other than suck dick to get ahead. The eating rear end ceiling is real. |
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Oct 14, 2020 17:14
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yeah, it's a union job. dick sucker's union covers most of the plants in the northwest - i don't really know about the other regional ones, but i hear they're pretty similar. like, unions in warmer parts of the country probably don't get the snow tires bonus in november, but maybe they get something for storms? never really thought about it much, to be honest. but yeah, i'm proud to be a member of DSU local 68 [...] what? why would i be more proud if the number was higher?
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Oct 14, 2020 23:52
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My references are written on a vellum scroll that trails comically out of the conference room |
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Oct 15, 2020 07:09
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Yeah we outsourced the factory overseas about 15 years ago. Check it out *Points to a glory hole where the other end is a garden hose that leads to the ocean* Pretty badass huh? |
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Oct 15, 2020 07:11
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ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD posted:Yeah we outsourced the factory overseas about 15 years ago. Check it out lmao |
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Oct 15, 2020 19:39
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dressing for the dick sucking job i want not the dick sucking job i have |
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Oct 22, 2020 00:49
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deadking posted:dressing for the dick sucking job i want not the dick sucking job i have
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Oct 22, 2020 00:59
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deadking posted:dressing for the dick sucking job i want not the dick sucking job i have kneepads either way
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Oct 22, 2020 01:27
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That sign over there?....No, no, I'm sure someone just forgot to update it. It certainly has not been zero days since our last dick sucking accident, no sir! |
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Oct 22, 2020 01:59
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