Let's Write Trump's Farewell Address

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Cosmik Slop: Oct 9, 2007; What's a hole doing in my TARDIS?

Three words at a time.

My fellow Americans,

# ? Oct 15, 2020 17:52

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 25, 2024 04:42

faxlore: Sep 24, 2014; a blue star tattoo for you!

poo poo piss rear end

# ? Oct 15, 2020 17:53

Stairmaster: Jun 8, 2012

ouch my balls

# ? Oct 15, 2020 17:53

Cosmik Slop: Oct 9, 2007; What's a hole doing in my TARDIS?

As I stand

# ? Oct 15, 2020 17:54

Maximo Roboto: Feb 4, 2012

Jeb is low energy

# ? Oct 15, 2020 18:02

Cosmik Slop: Oct 9, 2007; What's a hole doing in my TARDIS?

But he has

# ? Oct 15, 2020 18:18

Victory Position: Mar 16, 2004

Change the world. My final message. Goodbye.

# ? Oct 15, 2020 18:18

Good soup!: Nov 2, 2010

Keep on winning!

# ? Oct 15, 2020 18:27

Cosmik Slop: Oct 9, 2007; What's a hole doing in my TARDIS?

Do not let

# ? Oct 15, 2020 18:31

DesertIslandHermit: Oct 7, 2019; It's beautiful. And it's for the god of...of...arts and crafts. I think that's what he said.

them take me

# ? Oct 15, 2020 18:46

Feats of Strength: Feb 9, 2012; Man, If god told me to sacrifice my son I'd tell
him to fuck off.

Burisma, Biden, Little Boats Boater Fraud *stroke*

# ? Oct 15, 2020 18:49

breadnsucc: Jun 1, 2020; by Fluffdaddy

I will not

# ? Oct 15, 2020 19:07

a few DRUNK BONERS: Mar 25, 2016

lock her up

# ? Oct 15, 2020 19:08

TheLemonOfIchabod: Aug 26, 2008

i love you

# ? Oct 15, 2020 19:10

akadajet: Sep 14, 2003

goatse dot com

# ? Oct 15, 2020 19:12

Goon Boots: Feb 2, 2020

stay gold ponypence

# ? Oct 15, 2020 19:14

Algund Eenboom: May 4, 2014

My tea's gone cold I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window and I can't see at all
And even if I could it'd all be gray, but your picture on my wall
It reminds me, that it's not so bad, it's not so bad
My tea's gone cold I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window and I can't see at all
And even if I could it'd all be gray, but your picture on my wall
It reminds me, that it's not so bad, it's not so bad

Dear Slim, I wrote you but you still ain't calling
I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom
I sent two letters back in autumn, you must not've got 'em
There probably was a problem at the post office or something
Sometimes I scribble addresses too sloppy when I jot 'em
But anyways; gently caress it, what's been up? Man, how's your daughter?
My girlfriend's pregnant, too, I'm bout to be a father
If I have a daughter, guess what I'mma call her?
I'mma name her Bonnie
I read about your Uncle Ronnie, too, I'm sorry
I had a friend kill himself over some bitch who didn't want him
I know you probably hear this everyday, but I'm your biggest fan
I even got the underground poo poo that you did with Skam
I got a room full of your posters and your pictures, man
I like the poo poo you did with Rawkus, too, that poo poo was phat
Anyways, I hope you get this, man, hit me back
Just to chat, truly yours, your biggest fan
This is Stan

My tea's gone cold I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window and I can't see at all
And even if I could it'd all be gray, but your picture on my wall
It reminds me, that it's not so bad, it's not so bad

Dear Slim, you still ain't called or wrote, I hope you have a chance
I ain't mad - I just think it's hosed UP you don't answer fans
If you didn't wanna talk to me outside your concert
You didn't have to, but you coulda signed an autograph for Matthew
That's my little brother man, he's only six years old
We waited in the blistering cold for you
For four hours and you just said, "No"
That's pretty lovely man - you're like his loving idol
He wants to be just like you man, he likes you more than I do
I ain't that mad though, I just don't like being lied to
Remember when we met in Denver - you said if I'd write you
You would write back - see I'm just like you in a way
I never knew my father neither
He used to always cheat on my mom and beat her
I can relate to what you're saying in your songs
So when I have a lovely day, I drift away and put 'em on
'Cause I don't really got poo poo else so that poo poo helps when I'm depressed
I even got a tattoo of your name across the chest
Sometimes I even cut myself to see how much it bleeds
It's like adrenaline, the pain is such a sudden rush for me
See everything you say is real, and I respect you 'cause you tell it
My girlfriend's jealous 'cause I talk about you 24/7
But she don't know you like I know you Slim, no one does
She don't know what it was like for people like us growing up
You gotta call me man, I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose
Sincerely yours, Stan
P.S.
We should be together, too

My tea's gone cold I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window and I can't see at all
And even if I could it'd all be gray, but your picture on my wall
It reminds me, that it's not so bad, it's not so bad

Dear Mister I'm-Too-Good-To-Call-Or-Write-My-Fans,
This'll be the last package I ever send your rear end
It's been six months and still no word. I don't deserve it?
I know you got my last two letters;
I wrote the addresses on 'em perfect
So this is my cassette I'm sending you, I hope you hear it
I'm in the car right now, I'm doing 90 on the freeway
Hey Slim, I drank a fifth of vodka, you dare me to drive?
You know the song by Phil Collins "In the Air Tonight"
About that guy who coulda saved that other guy from drowning
But didn't, then Phil saw it all, then at a show he found him?
That's kinda how this is, you coulda rescued me from drowning
Now it's too late. I'm on a thousand downers now, I'm drowsy
And all I wanted was a lousy letter or a call
I hope you know I ripped all of your pictures off the wall
I loved you, Slim, we coulda been together, think about it
You ruined it now, I hope you can't sleep and you dream about it
And when you dream I hope you can't sleep and you scream about it
I hope your conscience eats at you and you can't breathe without me
See, Slim,�shut up bitch! I'm trying to talk!
Hey, Slim, that's my girlfriend screaming in the trunk,
But I didn't slit her throat, I just tied her up. See, I ain't like you
'Cause if she suffocates she'll suffer more, and then she'll die, too
Well, gotta go, I'm almost at the bridge now
Oh poo poo, I forgot, how am I supposed to send this poo poo out?
[*car tires squeal, crash, loud splash*]

My tea's gone cold I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window and I can't see at all
And even if I could it'd all be gray, but your picture on my wall
It reminds me, that it's not so bad, it's not so bad

Dear Stan, I meant to write you sooner but I've just been busy
You said your girlfriend's pregnant now, how far along is she?
Look, I'm really flattered you would call your daughter that
And here's an autograph for your brother
I wrote it on the Starter cap
I'm sorry I didn't see you at the show, I musta missed you
Don't think I did that poo poo intentionally just to diss you
But what's this poo poo you said about you like to cut your wrists, too?
I say that poo poo's just clowning , dawg
C'mon! How hosed up is you?
You got some issues, Stan, I think you need some counseling
To help your rear end from bouncing off the walls when you get down some
And what's this poo poo about us meant to be together?
That type of poo poo'll make me not want us to meet each other
I really think you and your girlfriend need each other
Or maybe you just need to treat her better
I hope you get to read this letter, I just hope it reaches you in time
Before you hurt yourself, I think that you'll be doing just fine
If you relax a little, I'm glad I inspire you but, Stan
Why are you so mad? Try to understand, that I do want you as a fan
I just don't want you to do some crazy poo poo
I seen this one poo poo on the news a couple weeks ago that made me sick
Some dude was drunk and drove his car over a bridge
And had his girlfriend in the trunk, and she was pregnant with his kid
And in the car they found a tape, but they didn't say who it was to
Come to think about it, his name was... it was you
drat!

# ? Oct 15, 2020 19:14