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I own a business That business weighs in excess of 421 lbs
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Oct 17, 2020 01:32
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 17:55 |
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Inverted Icon posted:I own a business 
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Oct 17, 2020 01:34
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Gets paid for sex. Has a large business A very...large business.
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Oct 17, 2020 01:48
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I own a business. I was there for the specialized amino acid revolution. I am an l-arginine business owner.
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Oct 17, 2020 01:54
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I own a business. People pay me to take their trash and dump it in the ocean. I am a barge business owner.
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Oct 17, 2020 01:58
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I own a business. I sell Simpsons memorabilia. I’m a Marge business owner.
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Oct 17, 2020 02:20
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I own a business. I sell real love. I'm an El DeBarge business owner.
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Oct 17, 2020 02:54
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I'm starting to think several of you might not actually own large businesses IRL..................
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Oct 17, 2020 20:10
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*lays off 50% of workers* *gives self a $1 billion bonus* *runs the "Small Business Association of America"* *lobbies federal government for bailout* *gives self a $2 billion bonus*
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Oct 17, 2020 21:22
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Oct 17, 2020 21:36
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Pistol_Pete posted:Hmm, my company owns all of its office and retail properties outright. That's good, I guess but what if... we sold them all off and then rented them back from the people that we sold them to instead? Sure, the company would be landed with a huge new monthly expense but think of how much cash we could distribute to the shareholders! Even worse, the interest they pay on the new debt counts against their (or at least partially reduces reduces) their tax liabilities. Even worse, they probably technically own the company that funded the loan through a complicated accounting shell-game (a la the panama papers) such that they are really just paying themselves to avoid tax liability. The free hand at work!
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Oct 17, 2020 22:57
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Me and ten other inbred dimwits are on the boards of every single public company. We just have different costumes for each
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Oct 17, 2020 23:03
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Who What Now posted:I'm starting to think several of you might not actually own large businesses IRL.................. It's true. I'm very poor. Really, I'm less than poor. I'm way in the negatives. It's hard to describe the sheer size of my debt. Every time I walk by someone sleeping in the street, I can't help but feel jealous. That person's got more money than me, even if he's got no money at all. Give me a million dollars, and he'll still have more money than me, because a million won't even make a dent. When people talk about helping the poor, the needy, the unfortunate, they should be talking about helping me. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm late for an afternoon of golf at the country club I own.
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Oct 17, 2020 23:24
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I came here to make lovely jokes but see this and my blood boils. This is a parody right? This is some extreme loving entitlement. Holy gently caress.
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Oct 17, 2020 23:28
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Who What Now posted:Cheryl, when is my meeting with the partners from Taiwan? I want to know if I have time for some day drinking. What? It's a lunch? Alright, I'll just do a bump of coke and I'll drink at the restaurant. I thought day drinking was for golf time. Much more socially acceptable
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Oct 17, 2020 23:56
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Please for the love of all that is holy tell me this is fake
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Oct 17, 2020 23:58
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YeahTubaMike posted:Please for the love of all that is holy tell me this is fake nope, one of my bosses had that legit hanging in the break room at an old job. He, of course, inherited the business. And as I said in the small business thread, hired a bunch of upper management to be drinking buddy yes men. This was at a small engineering firm. Spoiler: he was more interested in drinkin and football and country clubs than engineering
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Oct 18, 2020 00:50
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Everybody, it turns out that some people are abusing the "work from home" policy and not getting all their work done. I'm doing this quick conference call to explain that you MUST be in the office at least 80% of the week, and the remaining 20% you MUST be available for calls and emails. *the very obvious sound of seagulls is heard in the background* So anyway, we all know some of you are struggling with the virus situation. We're through the worst of it now, it's time to get back to normal. You can't just run away from your responsibilities at work. *a child's voice saying "Father, let's go scuba diving again, it would be ever so fun!" is heard* Uhhhh, so until productivity improves I'm ending the work from home program except in emergencies such as surgeries. Okay well I'll give you the rest of your day back, I'm very busy as well right now.
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Oct 19, 2020 13:17
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*started the business myself 40 years ago, treats employees so well they stick around for decades despite the pay not being great, to the point many are now in their 50s and unable to go anywhere else even if they wanted to* *retires and leaves company to my son, who immediately sells the company to a competitor that lays off everyone over the age of 35*
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Oct 20, 2020 00:57
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meant to put this in the small store thread, sorry
GolfHole fucked around with this message at 01:13 on Oct 20, 2020 |
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Oct 20, 2020 01:11
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GolfHole posted:meant to put this in the small store thread, sorry You're their all time best seller
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Oct 20, 2020 02:51
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When COVID happened, I made a video stating that "we are all in this together" while explaining that I will need to cut costs and furlough employees. It is the single hardest thing I've done (HAHAHAHAHAHA)
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Oct 20, 2020 03:22
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*shits pants but like rich CEOishly*
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Oct 20, 2020 05:29
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Im gay ...and we refer to anyone who bought our phones in the last 5 years as "paypigs". We toss that one around at board meetings like a football. Its wild.
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Oct 20, 2020 05:42
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1redflag posted:Even worse, the interest they pay on the new debt counts against their (or at least partially reduces reduces) their tax liabilities. Even worse, they probably technically own the company that funded the loan through a complicated accounting shell-game (a la the panama papers) such that they are really just paying themselves to avoid tax liability. The free hand at work! I was under the impression that this is leaseback and is both legal and beneficial to a company. My understanding of the process is: Company A owns all the building they operate out of. Company A creates shell company B and sells the building to B for $1. Every month, A pays rent to B As long as the rent is a fair market rate for the area it's... immune to taxes or something so it's beneficial for company A to do this. I'm sure there are gaps in my understanding of this, so if anyone can fill them in, I'd appreciate it.
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Oct 26, 2020 18:32
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One of these days I'm going to eat one of my employees. Just to see what they taste like.
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Oct 26, 2020 18:57
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Invisible Clergy posted:I was under the impression that this is leaseback and is both legal and beneficial to a company. It being legal and beneficial to the company (but not society in general) was exactly my point.
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Oct 26, 2020 21:14
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 17:55 |
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Complete list of resume qualifications read: 4th generation business owner
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Oct 27, 2020 05:13
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