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Sid Vicious
Jan 1, 1970



y when the class bully first noticed you and started attacking you about all of your flaws but now you have all of your knowledge about how his dad used to make him dress like his dead wife and sing show tunes there was nothing sexual about it his dad was just really lonely after his wife died and probably he was somewhere on the autism spectrum but he was born in 58 so he was just a bit different and slow anyways would you tell the class about that or would you just live the same life again and take the years of abuse at the hands of the kid who had to dress like his mom and sing the hills are alive with the sound of music in a falsetto thanks for answering

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Spinz
Jan 7, 2020



numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014



tl;dr

Fluffy Bunnies
Jan 9, 2009

We'll roll on with our heads held high.
Our conscience in the gutter,
Our dreams up in the sky.




I'd take the bully some place private and lay it all out for them. Then I'd demand that he steal his father's money to pay me off, throughout the year, always raising the price so they had to continue sinking deeper into their own hosed up pit. I'd spend the money primarily on video games, but every now and then I'd leave a bow on his desk or maybe a part of a photograph of said bully in the dress, just so the bully would remember their place in the world. I'd also join the yearbook team and slowly work my way up to head editor.

When all was said and done that year and I'd made my money, I'd place a full page print out in the yearbook of the bully in the dress and hand the yearbook directly to his dad.

Sid Vicious
Jan 1, 1970



Fluffy Bunnies posted:

I'd take the bully some place private and lay it all out for them. Then I'd demand that he steal his father's money to pay me off, throughout the year, always raising the price so they had to continue sinking deeper into their own hosed up pit. I'd spend the money primarily on video games, but every now and then I'd leave a bow on his desk or maybe a part of a photograph of said bully in the dress, just so the bully would remember their place in the world. I'd also join the yearbook team and slowly work my way up to head editor.

When all was said and done that year and I'd made my money, I'd place a full page print out in the yearbook of the bully in the dress and hand the yearbook directly to his dad.

lmao sick I couldn't get my hands on a camera in grade 4 plus everyone always bullied me because of this one kid anyways that's awesome lol owned bitch

Skeleton Ape
Dec 21, 2008



I would befriend the bully and help him to become a more confident better person, or kick him in the nuts, I don't really know

Fluffy Bunnies
Jan 9, 2009

We'll roll on with our heads held high.
Our conscience in the gutter,
Our dreams up in the sky.




Sid Vicious posted:

lmao sick I couldn't get my hands on a camera in grade 4 plus everyone always bullied me because of this one kid anyways that's awesome lol owned bitch

okay so the first thing we have to do is teach 4th grade you how to steal poo poo, I guess.

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Feb 17, 2011

meat


I got sucked off by the ghost of a dead body. It floated up out of the ventilation shafts and screamed as it descended on my balls but I was raised way too much of a hard rear end to be affected by that poo poo I was just stone cold as I got sucked off by this ghost. By the time I nutted the ghost was the one afraid of me.

Sid Vicious
Jan 1, 1970



it's me the ghost who sucks dicks and it's true i now have a severe phobia of sucking dicks because of how terrifying the experience of sucking off the booger baby's dick was and when he nutted the entirety of the universes knowledge past present and future flooded through me and im so loving depressed now because im scared of sucking dicks and im the dick sucking ghost and you know what it's loving hard man it's a really rough situation and I can't handle it any more did you know ghosts can't loving kill themselves, this is it, this is forever and I can't suck a single dick any more without having a horrendous panic attack and all I am supposed to do is be ethereal and suck dicks, half of the job isn't doing a job now loving is it aaaahhhhhhhhhhhgggggggggg

Skeleton Ape
Dec 21, 2008



Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:

I got sucked off by the ghost of a dead body. It floated up out of the ventilation shafts and screamed as it descended on my balls but I was raised way too much of a hard rear end to be affected by that poo poo I was just stone cold as I got sucked off by this ghost. By the time I nutted the ghost was the one afraid of me.

Yeah we know, we all saw it, that was pretty funny. Can you get me a proton pack?

Fartington Butts
Jan 21, 2007

We're gonna have so much fun, we'll forget about how miserable we are, and how much life sucks, and how we're all gonna grow old and die someday.


고추장 DIVISION



No I'm gonna hide and look at my pokemon cards like a normal 4th grade

Blurry Gray Thing
Jun 3, 2009


That already happened, OP. My attempts to keep going back and 'fixing' things is why everything is so screwed up. It's all connected and every time I try to change things for the better, everything gets worse.

Sorry.

Sid Vicious
Jan 1, 1970



Blurry Gray Thing posted:

That already happened, OP. My attempts to keep going back and 'fixing' things is why everything is so screwed up. It's all connected and every time I try to change things for the better, everything gets worse.

Sorry.

please try making things worse, gently caress a tree or something Jesus man do something

mind the walrus
Sep 22, 2006



I'd probably go insane trying not to tip my hand that I was an adult in a kid's body and/or deck someone in my family for being trash while growing up.

TheReverend
Jun 21, 2005



I learned jiu jitsu since then so I'd totally pwns him in the cafeteria and choke him really good.

Maybe also make him drink that milk carton all us boys poured all the condiments into to make a hell concoction.

That'll teach him. 🥲

Moon Atari
Dec 26, 2010
https://fi.somethingawful.com/images/avatars/navi2.jpg

Hair Elf

Blurry Gray Thing posted:

That already happened, OP. My attempts to keep going back and 'fixing' things is why everything is so screwed up. It's all connected and every time I try to change things for the better, everything gets worse.

Sorry.

"Fixed", "better", "worse": all subjective evaluations. I have enough experience with these time loop problems to know that the only way to escape is to stop feeling that the timelines where you become the dad's surrogate wife have made things worse. For reasons as mysterious as time travel itself being forced into and growing to enjoy cross-dressing is the solution to all time loop scenarios. That's why I was so disappointed by the ending of Groundhog Day. Either a complete lack of research by Ramis and Rubin or Bill Murray refused to commit to the role.

Blurry Gray Thing
Jun 3, 2009


Moon Atari posted:

"Fixed", "better", "worse": all subjective evaluations. I have enough experience with these time loop problems to know that the only way to escape is to stop feeling that the timelines where you become the dad's surrogate wife have made things worse. For reasons as mysterious as time travel itself being forced into and growing to enjoy cross-dressing is the solution to all time loop scenarios. That's why I was so disappointed by the ending of Groundhog Day. Either a complete lack of research by Ramis and Rubin or Bill Murray refused to commit to the role.

I'm very offended that you assumed this wasn't already (one of) my fetish(es) and wouldn't count as a perfect future.

SLICK GOKU BABY
Jun 12, 2001

A Little Known FACT: Burger King's Bacon King is superior to the Baconator.


Well I'm like 6'4 now so I think I'd probably be the class bully OP.

CPL593H
Oct 28, 2009

I know what you did last summer, and frankly I am displeased.

Not a one of you said they'd warn everybody about 9/11. You're all scum.

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Feb 17, 2011

meat


CPL593H posted:

Not a one of you said they'd warn everybody about 9/11. You're all scum.

I did 9/11

CPL593H
Oct 28, 2009

I know what you did last summer, and frankly I am displeased.


I always suspected you were George Bush but I could never prove it until now.

numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014



imagine if it was 9/12

CPL593H
Oct 28, 2009

I know what you did last summer, and frankly I am displeased.

numberoneposter posted:

imagine if it was 9/12

So basically people being extremely racist to everyone that looks even vaguely Mediterranean and committing hate crimes and having to see the footage of mass murder on tv all day on a non-stop loop while a guy who can barely string together a sentence pretends to console a country all the while trying to conceal his erection because him and his friends just realized how much money they're going to make?

Cumfartcocktails
Sep 18, 2010
Avatar Fail.

First thing I'm gonna do is go down to the bookie and lay down some money from mom's purse about there being a world trade center on 9/12. Big money, baby

numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014



CPL593H posted:

So basically people being extremely racist to everyone that looks even vaguely Mediterranean and committing hate crimes and having to see the footage of mass murder on tv all day on a non-stop loop while a guy who can barely string together a sentence pretends to console a country all the while trying to conceal his erection because him and his friends just realized how much money they're going to make?
gotta call a spade a spade

the us admins have been profit plundering criminals at the expense of not only their own soldiers but mostly the people of iraq to name only one

numberoneposter fucked around with this message at 08:06 on Oct 18, 2020

mind the walrus
Sep 22, 2006



I wonder how bad the whiplash of losing smartphones would be

numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014



its why im torn on the easy D

he hasnt started a war, but hes horrible

?????

as a canadian and americas hat ive got a stake in all this

Weka
May 5, 2019

And if you gaze long into an abyss, you will say `look, no ring.`

This happened to me and after I grew up I did 9-11, that's why I went back.

Moon Atari
Dec 26, 2010
https://fi.somethingawful.com/images/avatars/navi2.jpg

Hair Elf

mind the walrus posted:

I wonder how bad the whiplash of losing smartphones would be

I doubt I could actually succeed in saving us from our dark future, but if I get to do some anti-tech terrorism followed by getting Sarah Connor style ripped while spending my life in a psych ward I will still count it as a more personally rewarding timeline than my current one.

Code Jockey
Jan 24, 2006

you can call
but I seldom answer after all





I'd probably beat the poo poo out of him because 5 minutes after graduating from high school I realized the permanent record is a bullshit concept and nothing you get in trouble for in school matters at all later

and by "beat the poo poo out of him" I mean "flail pathetically and get the poo poo beaten out of me instead, because I was a fat pathetic dork then and remain one now, regardless of how much better I understand the world"

Shadow0
Jun 16, 2008


Grimey Drawer

Blurry Gray Thing posted:

That already happened, OP. My attempts to keep going back and 'fixing' things is why everything is so screwed up. It's all connected and every time I try to change things for the better, everything gets worse.

Sorry.

What if Jesus is actually a time traveler and he went back in time to warn people that they should be nice to each other and also socialism, and then everyone agreed but built a global poor person grifting machine instead for some reason?

Shadow0 fucked around with this message at 10:52 on Oct 18, 2020

Inexplicable Humblebrag
Sep 20, 2003



i would dodge the horse

Fluffy Bunnies
Jan 9, 2009

We'll roll on with our heads held high.
Our conscience in the gutter,
Our dreams up in the sky.




CPL593H posted:

Not a one of you said they'd warn everybody about 9/11. You're all scum.

if we warned people about 9/11 we'd never get Obama because after bush people were desperate to look for Hope and Change and that's what all those Obama posters said so that's why we got him.

naem
May 29, 2011



https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.th...-1819587116/amp

Snackula
Aug 1, 2013

hedgefund wizard


mind the walrus posted:

I wonder how bad the whiplash of losing smartphones would be

I thought I could get some pedos off the streets by leveraging my boyish good looks and mighty adlut intellect but uh there's no 4G in this shed?

The Management
Jan 2, 2010

sup, bitch?


With my adult confidence I would ask out Kelly van der something. She was a cutie and Iím pretty sure she liked me and I never acted on it

But then I would be an adult brain dating a 4th grader which is hosed up so I canít do that. Youíve ruined my life op

nakieon
Aug 28, 2020



This is interesting because grade 4 for me was back in the year 242. I was a low-class firstborn son to a Roman peasant. I'd have to make sure to follow the exact footsteps I did to achieve immortality, and I don't even know if I'd warn everyone about the first and second sacking of Rome. Anyway interesting questions thanks for asking.

Shinjobi
Jul 10, 2008






Gravy Boat 2k

I would try to gamble on sports knowing what I do of the future but then I'd screw up and accidentally help the bully's dad become Donald Trump and then somehow id travel to the old west and refuse the advances of my shockingly attractive ancestors.

Xenocides
Jan 14, 2008

This world looks very scary....

Screw the stupid bully. I know how to make a fortune in stock market. Then again I have to go back to looking up movie times in the newspaper and going through the Bush/Dukakis election again. It will be fun during Desert Storm to roll my eyes when people think this intervention is too extreme. Just you wait you idiots. I will send Hillary Clinton an email telling her she really doesnít want to use a private email server and another telling Monica Lewisnsky to pass on any White House jobs. I also need to go full-on crazy before 9/11 warning of the great calamity from the sky. I will be ignored but once it happens I can form a sex cult or something.

I can also not screw up the one relationship I always regretted and can get my ADHD diagnosis much earlier.

Okay, I am convinced. Make me a 4th grader again OP!

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World War Mammories
Aug 25, 2006



I would probably go insane from knowing how the next two decades would go but being powerless to change historyís course op

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