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pantslesswithwolves
Oct 27, 2008

Ba-dam ba-DUMMMMMM
Sent you my details. Hope whoever my Satanee is likes crack because YOU'RE GETTING CRACK.

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pantslesswithwolves
Oct 27, 2008

Ba-dam ba-DUMMMMMM
Just received a mysterious gift- addressed to my dog. What could it be?



Oh, just a huge poster of Luca taking a poo poo amidst beautiful outdoor splendor, thatís all!

pantslesswithwolves
Oct 27, 2008

Ba-dam ba-DUMMMMMM
Iíve ordered my stuff; might be a few days before it arrives but I think my victim will like it!

pantslesswithwolves
Oct 27, 2008

Ba-dam ba-DUMMMMMM
Lockpicking is cool and fun! If thereís other people into it here, we should talk about it in dadchat.

pantslesswithwolves
Oct 27, 2008

Ba-dam ba-DUMMMMMM
Are you talking about raking? Iím a novice so I could be very wrong but I donít think thereís a way to bypass a traditional pin and tumbler lock, but I must say itís super satisfying to bypass a padlock or numerical lock with quick sticks or an EZ decoder.

pantslesswithwolves
Oct 27, 2008

Ba-dam ba-DUMMMMMM
Got another package addressed to my dog. Oh well, the mail carrier probably already thinks Iím nuts anyways. What could it be this time?



Oh nothing, just a gi-loving-gantic bone that I think may have actually come from a mammoth! But does Lando like it?

Survey says- YES! He does like the bone, and will continue to enjoy it in 20 minute chew sessions!! Thanks TF, youíre truly the Great Satan! :d2a:

pantslesswithwolves
Oct 27, 2008

Ba-dam ba-DUMMMMMM
Stuff for my Santee is starting to trickle in. Will be packaging and sending out within the next few days; hopefully USPS and other shippers are gradually returning to normal.

pantslesswithwolves
Oct 27, 2008

Ba-dam ba-DUMMMMMM
Thanks for gracing us with your presence, absentee forums daddy

pantslesswithwolves
Oct 27, 2008

Ba-dam ba-DUMMMMMM
I just got a notification that something I ordered for my Santee has now been canceled, which threw a bit of a monkey wrench in my plans. Iíve got some other cool stuff good to go, but a replacement item I ordered wonít arrive until between the 1-4.

I wonít be leaving my dude in the lurch, but itís gonna be a little while before my gift makes it out.

pantslesswithwolves
Oct 27, 2008

Ba-dam ba-DUMMMMMM
The last of my Santeeís stuff arrived today so Iíll drop it in the mail on Thursday or Friday.

pantslesswithwolves
Oct 27, 2008

Ba-dam ba-DUMMMMMM
My Santeeís stuff went out yesterday. Should be arriving on Friday via FedEx.

pantslesswithwolves
Oct 27, 2008

Ba-dam ba-DUMMMMMM
"Honey, you've got a huge package!" My wife called from downstairs.

"Tell me something I don't know!" I replied, chortling at my own razor-sharp wit.

"No, really! One of the neighbors just brought it up from the mail area."

So what could this be?


names omitted to protect the guilty


Lo and behold, a huge box. A box from New Zealand.

New Zealand...Who do I know there? Oh god. OH GOD!

Mindful of the presence of glitterbombs and spring-loaded dildos, I asked my wife and Lando to stay in another room while I opened the box.



Man, those wacky Kiwis sure have some ideas about packing insulation, I thought. Little did I know...


And just how the hell am I supposed to know what this is?


Ok, now this is starting to make more sense! I like snacks! Oh wait, it's for Lando.




Once I realized there wasn't going to be a glitterbomb detonation and there weren't any sex toys in the box, I called my wife back in and we enjoyed some of these delicious sweets while I went through the rest of the box.


Really looking forward to getting into these!


Frankly, I don't know whether I should eat these or proudly display the bag's amazing art, depicting a rugged man (Great Uncle Kenny, I assume) defending himself, his Snacka Changi Chips and a comely lass against a vicious boar-like creature.

But wait, there's more!


It's my very own towel of Saint Ashley Bloomfield. the man who spared NZ from COVID!


And also a limited edition Slavic Crime Yacht t-shirt! (with sleepy Lando for scale)


Definitely gets his seal of approval.


And at the very bottom of the box, a nice note, addressed to me, my wife and Lando, explaining what everything is! It turns out the bag of white fluff wasn't some environmentally sustainable packing material made from recycled people breaking quarantine, but a bundle of Luca's fur!

I've decided to save what's on the flash drive for my work webex tomorrow, where I'll proudly explain to all of my coworkers what Something Awful and Secret Satan are, and proceed to plug in the drive to my work computer and share my screen while we watch some great Kiwi films. What could possibly go wrong?

Seriously TF, you rock. There's some cool and fun (and tasty) stuff in here, and you're a stud for sending all of this to me. I have no idea what I'm going to do with a bag full of Luca's fur (or for that matter an enormous poster of him taking a dump) but I genuinely appreciate this and all of the work you put in for organizing this for us each year. We didn't get to do Goonysburg last year, but this is the next best thing.

pantslesswithwolves fucked around with this message at 05:11 on Feb 4, 2021

pantslesswithwolves
Oct 27, 2008

Ba-dam ba-DUMMMMMM
Hey Brute Squad, you get anything in the mail yesterday?

pantslesswithwolves
Oct 27, 2008

Ba-dam ba-DUMMMMMM
Nice! Glad it all got there safely. Enjoy and have fun with the picks- it can be frustrating at first but once you pop that lock open for the first time youíll be hooked.

My folks turned me onto that coffee last year and Iíve enjoyed working my way through their offerings. They have a ton of flavored coffees like Dutch chocolate, lava cake and Irish creme, and while Iíve never been much for flavored coffee, theirs tend to be quite good and not at all overpowering.

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pantslesswithwolves
Oct 27, 2008

Ba-dam ba-DUMMMMMM

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