GoodyTwoShoes posted:

I have been asked to post this in multiple subforums, so here's this one.
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I HAVE SOLVED THE MYSTERY OF COVID-FARTS and I wish to publicize it so others can enjoy fartless COVID-19!!!!

Short version: It induces temporary lactose-intolerance, which results in flatulence/diarrhea/cramps/bloating.

Treatment: Switch to lactose-free milk while sick with COVID-19. You can go back to real milk once you are well.


Long version, so you can skip this if you don't care: I'm on my second round of COVID-19. First round, in April, lasted 25 days, and I had covid-farts for about 20 of it. This round started Sept 29, so I'm on Day 20. The very good friend who does my grocery shopping when I'm sick was talking about going on a trip, so I asked for Fairlife milk instead of real milk, cuz its use-by date is farther away, plus it's high protein so if I got too sick to cook, I could just have a big glass of milk-based beverage to wash down my zillion pills I take every day, and call it supper. Also, their chocolate milk isn't too bad for no-sugar-added and has the same amount of sugar as non-choco, real milk.

Fairlife is also lactose-free. Instead of huge amounts of loud, stinky farts, I had one or two medium-loud, moderately-stinky farts per day. Then, this Friday, I switched back to real milk, and several hours later developed full covid-farts! TA-DA!!!! Somehow, covid-19 induces thank-god-it's-temporary lactose intolerance.

Now, I just have to convince a few doctors and scientitians to recommend this approach to enough covid-fart sufferers to turn it into a real study, and my Nobel Prize For Medicine is in the bag!