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boo boo bear
Oct 1, 2009


chill and fun, always a pleasant experience.

thanks.

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Tiggum
Oct 23, 2007


Jupiter Jazz posted:

Do you have more constructive criticism on my posting style? I'd really like to change but don't know how.
I've tried to read it twice and both times I got to the sentence "To understand why I dislike XI you have to understand why I love Dragon Quest to begin with." and my eyes slid down the screen, hit "What is Japanese minimalism?" and bounced off entirely. You wrote an essay. Whether it was a good essay or a bad essay I couldn't say, because I didn't read it. Because I didn't come here to read an essay.

Different styles of writing are suited to different media. A forum thread is a conversation. Posting an essay is like standing up at a party and giving a speech. If it's appropriate to the occasion then people will listen to a short speech at a party. But if you're off-topic or you go on too long, people will stop listening - even if it's a good speech - because you have chosen the wrong time and place. Essays go on blogs or in magazines. Media designed for a single speaker to communicate while an audience listens.

So here's some constructive criticism: Keep it short, to the point, and conversational. Remember where you are.

Rimusutera
Oct 17, 2014


Jupiter Jazz posted:

Do you have more constructive criticism on my posting style? I'd really like to change but don't know how.

I'm not an expert in essay writing or a professional editor or anything so take me with a grain of salt but I think there's two main things I can say you're doing that you can try and avoid:

1- The whole woe is me I'm stating an unpopular opinion is unhealthy and unproductive: its okay to just state what you think is contrarian or against the flow and back it up without that sort've trapping. Its alienating to even people who might actually agree with you or see you as having a point. It sets a really, as others have pointed out, oppositional tone to everything and thus sets things off on a bad foot. I'm labouring the point myself here, but yeah. I think part of what happened 2 Months ago is you did this, other people were dismissive, and that further fueled you perhaps feeling all your responses were dismissive in tone even when they weren't. Its a vicious cycle and no one person is solely responsible for it, though also not the end of the world.

2- I don't think length is inherently the problem and I think its fine to write an essay on a forum -They're not messenger chats, they're web forums and fully suited towards longer form posting from time to time- but there are well written essays and poorly written ones and you can try and cut out a let of repetitive, bloated sentences from your post to get to the points you're making much quicker and with a less condescending tone: one that makes it feel like you're talking down to your audience, as if you're more of professor doing an academic lecture instead of passionately talking about something to your peers.

Examples of some of this that jump out to me: Instead of saying things like "what is japanese minimalism: insert paragraph overexplaining minimalism" you can just say that "Dragon Quest has historically been part of the scene of Japanese Minimalism, which it shared story telling methods such as short minimal cuts scenes and dialogue with other great games like Shadow of the Colossus, and I really miss that about the franchise" to get your point across, and even go into examples of what you mean from DQs history there. Instead of sentences like "now lets turn to x or y" you can just segue with starting a sentence/paragraph with "Game X or Game Y start off with [description of scene] and go into how you feel about that or more details about it" A lot of how you have it written as is feels like its just dragging your essay out in a way that feels like its padding to meet a word count, or fill the full length of the class you're lecturing too, rather than communicate your ideas authentically. There's more examples of stuff I can focus on but I don't have all the time in the world sorry, but I hope this is helpful to some degree.

Rimusutera fucked around with this message at 16:42 on Feb 11, 2021

...of SCIENCE!
Apr 26, 2008



Saying that Games is negative or upright always felt more like a dog whistle about the fact that it's a place where you're allowed to talk about feminism and #metoo instead of just grill game but the handful of mock threads that exist solely to poo poo on bad games and platforms years after release feel like they should at least be exiled to CCCC with their brethren who are rapidly approaching spending a decade chortling about the Xbox One's RAM.

Stux
Nov 17, 2006

[posting intensifies]


yeah the star cit thread should be exiled. glad we can all finally come together and agree and send it on its way.

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com


Lol that posting blew up in this thread in response to someone complaining noone responds to their posts.

Dr. Fishopolis
Aug 31, 2004

ROBOT



Outrail posted:

Lol that posting blew up in this thread in response to someone complaining noone responds to their posts.

Which ended with lots of good faith, helpful criticism on said posts! This place is a good place.

LIVE AMMO COSPLAY
Feb 3, 2006



Stux posted:

yeah the star cit thread should be exiled. glad we can all finally come together and agree and send it on its way.

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Orv
May 4, 2011


Extremely hosed up when Stux is a voice of reason.

Both effortposting and shitposting can co-exist and often do, since I stopped being quite such an uptight nerd (degrees of margin arguable) I definitely do more shitposting than I used to but I'll still poo poo out unnecessarily wordy bullshit sometimes. Nobodies really here to read a thesis though.

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