I’d like to ask you to look through the vaults in Hammerlocke and see if there’s anything interesting or unusual in the records there. I understand you’ve been doing your own research on the subject, yes?

… Yes.

Then you’ll have full access to the archives as soon as possible. Oleana?

And they leave.



I mean, he’s right that the vaults probably have plenty of information, but… If he gets orders them to give me a badge, then I’ll have to put up with their staff resenting me for skipping the queue, so…



Word to the wise: Hammerlocke’s university system is a right mess. Don’t get involved unless you have to, and if you do, try to go through somebody else. Rose just made my life harder because now I HAVE to use the pass he got me, which means I can’t… Look, enough of all that.

I hear he’s training in the mines between here and Motostoke, which means the gym’s closed until he gets back – and we can get a look at how he fights beforehand, or even challenge him! Won’t get us the Badge, but reconnaissance is reconnaissance, right?

I mean, yeah, but it’s, what, almost sunset right now. Where’re you planning on bunking down for the night?

I’ll be camping just out of town.

It’s been a of couple weeks since I was last home, so I figure I’m going to call a skytaxi to Postwick and stay with me mum for once. You’ll probably be in first.

I’ll let you know when I find him, maybe we can catch him in a double battle?

Then I guess I’ll see you there, mate.

… I heard your conversation with Rose in Hulbury. That was, what, yesterday afternoon? Have you really gotten that much better in under 24 hours?

You have no idea how fast I can improve. Get out your goddam Pokémon and fight! After all,

Hold up, mate, there’s some basic logical dissonance going on here. You keep talking about how superior you are and every time you start to brag your arse gets kicked. What is your deal?

I was chosen specifically by the chairman as his protégé. He plucked me from an orphanage and has been training me for nearly a decade as his heir.

drat. Wait, did he ever announce anything about that? That’s the sort of thing that ought to make Regional news.

He never had to. It’s always been clear!

Has he been training you to take over for him in MC?

No, we’ve been focusing on Pokémon for –

For a decade? It’s not like he spends all of his time battling, he’s a businessman. Has he trained you for that? Did he just take you in to make you his pet Pokémon Trainer or something?

…

_{Oh wow, that was way too direct. Is he… Is he crying? Oh poo poo, he’s crying. That wasn’t that bad an insult, he shouldn’t be crying. What do I do?} Look, mate, I didn’t mean to… I don’t know what I meant to do with that, but that wasn’t supposed to hurt you –

Too late. gently caress off.

ANYWAY, here we have a more natural cave to traverse, even though in game they seem to treat it as another proper mine. I mean, last time we start construction equipment everywhere, but this time the terrain’s –

You sound pretty excited about having your spotlight stolen.

Have you watched the interview yet?

No. Uh oh.

Scratch that, we have TWO jokers here.

Okay, look.

What? You ain’t gonna put this off forever, are ya?

No, just, what are those instrument of yours?

Marnie likes them. What, you got a problem with them?

No, actually, I actually kinda like the sound.

… Look, we gonna fight or not?

Oh, pardon.

We fight. They aren’t very good. They do at least do a little damage; they almost took out Hop’s Wooloo! But they lose.

Actually, I’ve been doing some thinking… I’m going to head back to the Pokémon Center now, get my Pokémon healed up before I go any deeper.

Well, suit yourself. Don’t be surprised when I beat the Gym before you even get out of the tunnel!

…

I’m taking this opportunity to head back to the center and switch out Quoth for Dietrich; she’s been good to me so far, but Flying is only so good a Type as Type Advantages go and I could really use some Electricity on my team. I’ll also take that this as an opportunity to bring the update to a close. Bede’s signature Pokémon is a Hatenna, and though it hasn’t come up yet, that Pokémon is actually important to his character arc. If anyone with post credit (Megane, Black Robe, Tenebrais, and LiefKatano, from what I can tell) wants to give it a name, I’ll work it into the narrative.

Falconier111 fucked around with this message at 05:49 on Nov 10, 2020

As a brand-new babby Pokémon, Dietrich starts out at level 1; I spent some time grinding for her, though not much, just enough to boost her up to about my party’s average level. By the way, Dietrich is female. I’m not changing her name –





I can’t go five minutes in this place! _{Ignore the fact that I doubled back to make sure it actually got me.} Stunfisks hide in the ground and look kind of like Pokéballs, but they jump up to grab you and kick off a fight when they do. They’re very hard to kill, too, and I have enough party members that I don’t want to waste a space on it. I’m not familiar with the meta, are these guys considered any good? Whatever, we have plot to deal with.

He has a pretty commanding presence, doesn’t he?

I know, right? Lee says a good third of the yearly Gym Challenger crop burns out against his Gym… But I think I can take him!

Oh Lord, I’ve been avoiding talking about Poké Jobs. So let’s talk about Sudowoodos instead!



Remember HMs? Back in Gen 2, just after you got Cut, you could run into something that looked mostly like a cuttable tree – only for it to turn out to be a Sudowoodo minding its own business that would attack you for trying to murder it. They still show up here and there in the series – back in Gen 7, one of the Gym-equivalents included a challenge where you try to identify which trees were and weren’t actually Pokémon – but these days they’re just another Pokémon. Also, despite looking like trees, they’re Rock-types. Isn’t that distracting interesting?

Anyway, soon enough we pull back into Motostoke, head down to the Pokémon Center to heal our guys up –



I guess there’s no avoiding it.



Poké Jobs are little errands you can send your troops on to get you various bonuses, usually a few items and some experience for the creatures involved; you mount them out of the PC and draw participants from the Pokémon you’ve stored there. Thing is? Since I started playing, I’ve always favored keeping a stable party as much as possible. I rarely catch many Pokémon and those that I do tend to sit in my Box forever unless I switch them out. There are exceptions – that Eevee I caught earlier, for instance, will likely be one of them – but Poké Jobs offer me very little I want. Even when I do try to use them, they end up irritating, because they often require a bunch of Pokémon of the same type and I don’t have a bunch of Pokémon I can spare for however long any given Job will take. I suppose for most players they can serve an important function, but I don’t like thinking about them. Whatever, it’s done now!

Heya, Marnie!

Oh, Gloria! Nos da!

Good evening to you, too! See, I remembered!

Actually, Gloria, I wanted t’ ask you a question.

Aye?

We never had a battle before. You wanna fight?



Battle! (Marnie) - Pokémon Sword and Shield OST



FINALLY, you have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to break out this theme. It’s a strong contender for best track in the game. It and this animation are what originally drew my attention to Sword and Shield. Also, notice how Team Yell shows up in the background root for her. I couldn’t get a screenshot because it went by too fast, but in the split-second between when you accept the challenge and it enters to the battle screen, a couple of Team Yell members slip out from behind the statute to start cheering her on

Marnie specializes in Dark-type Pokémon, fitting her punk-y image, plus Pokémon that look scary, intimidating, or…



… A bit like a stereotype (if you don’t see it, wait for its evolved form). Her team really isn’t up to Bede’s standards, though that might be because Psychic-types generally kick rear end. I roared through her first two pretty easily.



Morpeko here is her signature Pokémon, much more so than Bede’s Hatenna or whatever starter Hop ended up with. It’s not like those follow them around outside of battle. It’s also this generation’s pseudo-Pikachu. See, after seeing the runaway success of everyone’s favorite thunder rat, a lot of later generations have tried to catch that lightning in a bottle again. The closest they’ve ever come was with Mimikyu, some kind of Lovecraftian abomination that hid in a Pikachu costume because it just wanted everybody to love it like Pikachu ; it got some real traction for a little while before everyone forgot it. Morpeko, however, is just another Pokémon that looks kind of like Pikachu, so nobody cared. Except for Marnie, who cares about it in-universe for personal reasons.





Every time she says that, she uses that move, and not just in this battle. Morpeko is a bit of a gimmick Pokémon; every turn, it switches between two forms that alter the type of its signature move; Full Belly Mode, its normal appearance, makes the move Electric-type, while Hangry Mode (that’s its actual name), which turns it black and gives it angry eyes, makes the move Dark-type. It’s not much of a gimmick, though, and unless there’s something I’m missing, it’s just a middle of the range Pokémon. Her team goes down easy.

… Well, I wasn’t expectin’ that.

Look, I’m pretty good, but I’m not perfect. Do you want me to give you some pointers?

I – Actually, maybe tomorrow. It’s getting’ late, and while that last conversation was great fun, I’d rather not stay up till dawn again.

Same. See you tomorrow!



Bore da! Off to the Gym?

Actually, I was thinkin’… you know how Gyms are always clogged up in the mornin’?

Yeah, we’ll be looking at a couple hours wait while they cycle through Challengers.

You wanna just go out and DO somethin’ for a while? Spend a few hours out ‘til the queue clears a bit.

Absolutely, that’s a brilliant idea! Actually, I was planning on hitting up the shops sometime today. You want to tag along?

…

… I mean, have you seen the Kantonian breed? I mean, it’s not bringin’ home any prizes anytime soon, but it doesn’t have that awful beard.

Full agreement with you there. Just looking at it leaves a bad taste in my Meowth.







You should’ve nipped that one in the budew.

That was onixceptable, Gloria!

It’ll take more than that to give this conversation the raboot.

What you say when a Water-type goes on the lam? It’s laying lotad.

What you call it when a Water-type struggles to finish something something? It bit off more than it can chewtle!

Why don’t you give Pokémon jewelry? You’d be castin’ pearls before piloswine!

What game do you play with baby Pokémon? Peek-a-chu!

What do you call it when your Oddish takes too long t’ evolve? It’s a late gloomer!

What… Oh no, I’m out, I’m out!

How do you know when your Pokémon needs a bath? When it’s a little bit stunky!



What did the Flareon say when it looked back at its high school yearbook? I can’t belieevee I used t’ look like that!

Pfffhahaha oh my God…

…

… I still can’t believe the Battle Café serves breakfast at lunch.

Didn’t make the fight any harder. You said you had pointers?

Yes. So, I noticed you keep a Croagunk on your team, even though it’s not a Dark-type?

Normally I keep my team to Dark-types, but they live in the Spike River, so they get in on –

Café Owner Dwight: Your meals – the daily special!

Thanks.

Thank you. …Marnie, did you read the ingredients list?

Nah, the menu just said “Daily Special”… is that… Look, ‘s that baked beans? In an omelette? I can’t imagine eatin’ either of those on their lonesome, forget them thrown together.

Well, at least we can bond over similar taste in food… And it smells so strong… You know, if I liked either of those things, this omelette would be gone by now, but it’s making me kind of -y just looking at it.

I’m not hungry anymore. Do you wanna just pay and leave?



…

… I’m afraid the tam o’ shanter isn’t going anywhere.

Eh, suit yourself. We can agree to disagree.

I mean, you can pull off black nails, but I can’t.

Now I’m not too sure about – wait, Gloria, look! How about this one?

Isn’t that just the Fighting Gym uniform top?

Yes, but I think it would offset those trousers of yours.

You know what, you might be right, give it over…

…



_{All right, got the new cards printed out and ready to give to Challengers, everything is all set… It’s time to go take down Kabu.}



(As far as other Trainer’s Pokémon go, Bede’s Hatenna and Marnie’s Morpeko are up for naming; as a reminder, I’ll work the name into the narrative, whatever it turns out to be).

Falconier111 fucked around with this message at 05:37 on Nov 22, 2020

It occurs to me that I broke one of my cardinal rules in the last update! The last screenshot I posted was edited, and I did not make that clear. Canonically, at this point in the games <player_name> and Marnie barely knew each other, but in the LP Gloria and Marnie are already quite close. In the future, if/when I edit text in screenshots I’ll put it in italics, same as in the narrative. _{Also, if you’re looking to do the same I recommend using 17-point Bahnschrift SemiLight.} Anyway.

My what?

You took so long to get here I went in, got the Badge, left bought a new bag, ate, came back, and watched Kabu school a few Challengers. I saw you two walking together and giggling while I was out. I assume your gut lead you wrong?

No! We just spent a lot of the day together. We were just… hanging out.

Just two gals being pals?

Yeah, exact– dammit Hop! It was not a date!

Yes it was.

Yes it was. Oh god, did I pressure her into a date? Wait – she suggested we go do something. Did SHE ask me on a date? Did I misread her? Does she think I rejected her? Aaaaaah Hop I am so bad at this!

Relax, mate. Look. Just talk to her, all right? I know you, once you let the panic die down you’ll be able to handle this.

Yeah, I know…

Hey, you know what’d make you feel better? Beating the pants off Kabu.

You’re right. Thank you, Hop.

It’s the least I can do.

Gym - Pokémon Sword and Shield OST









The last two Gym Challenges presented us with puzzles. The Fire Gym, however, works entirely differently; it’s a Pokémon catching competition. Each patch of grass has one wild Pokémon and one Trainer in it. If you knock the Pokémon out, you gain one point, and if you catch it, you gain two; the goal is to rack up a minimum of five points, which means you have to at least catch two and beat another (and yes, you get to keep the ones you catch). The twist? Those Trainers always join the fight and make it a double battle, and they’re out to knock it out too. One long-standing quirk of the double battle system is that you can target friendly Pokémon with offensive moves, a natural consequence of making them targetable for helpful moves and a tactical consideration when using certain moves that strike all creatures on the field. The Fire Gym Challenge manipulates that quirk to create a three-way fight, something I’ve never seen before and that may be new to the franchise as a whole.

In theory, I can see why everyone in-universe hypes this Gym up so much. Since the other Trainers only have to take out one Pokémon to disqualify you, even one misstep can cost you the Challenge. In practice I saw other Trainers attack the wild Pokémon exactly twice, and one of those was with a move that had no effect. Instead, they attacked me. Which was an awful idea! My Pokémon are tough enough to take everything they can dish out without batting an eye, and with them absorbing hits I was free to tweak the wild Pokémon’s health until I could catch them. In the third fight, there came a point where, if the other trainer hadn’t wasted an attack on Murphy, they could have killed the wild Pokémon and cost me the challenge. They didn’t, and I succeeded.

He stops talking there. If this seems abrupt to you, you’re not the only one; when I was writing this update, I went back to double check and make sure I hadn’t missed some transition. Anyway, the fight.



Battle! Gym Leader (8-bit; VRC6) - Pokemon Sword and Shield





You know, I never talked about status effects – a bit of an oversight, given how Kabu opens the fight by Burning Murphy. Instead of (or in addition to) dealing damage or stat changes, some moves inflict one of several status effects, some of which expire once combat ends and some of which stick around until healed:

• Burned (lasting): causes damage every turn and reduces physical Attack damage.
  
• Confusion (temporary): causes a Pokémon to damage themselves as often as they use moves on enemies. The subject of many memes.
  
• Flinch (temporary): prevents a Pokémon from using moves. Lasts one turn.
  
• Freeze (lasting): literally freezes the Pokémon in a block of ice, preventing them from moving.
  
• Paralysis (lasting): lowers a Pokémon’s speed and occasionally prevents them from acting.
  
• Poison (lasting): does damage every turn.
  
• Sleep (lasting): prevents a Pokémon from doing anything for a few terms. Has a bunch of moves that interface with it in complex ways for some reason.
  

There are a few others, but they’re a lot less common and don’t matter as much. I mention this now because Kabu loving LOVES inflicting Burn. His first two Pokémon, Ninetales and Arcanine, both have a move that specifically causes Burn and use it any time their opponent doesn’t have the status effect already. My original plan was to have Murphy hit his Fire-types in their weaknesses (Ground is strong against Fire) until I wore them down, then switch to Tiddles and Dynamax him to seal the deal. Unfortunately, since Burn reduces physical damage and Murphy only does physical damage, I had to switch her out early and try to wear them down with Tiddles. Halfway through his Arcanine, after burning several items just keeping Tiddles unBurnt, I gave up and Dynamaxed.







It worked. Plus, Max Geyser made it rain in the arena and Tiddles’s Ability removes Burn in the rain, so that made my life easier.









I missed it by a hair, but at this point Kabu’s eyes shoot out tiny flames for a split second, it’s pretty rad.





So, Gigantamax. Almost every Pokémon in the game can Dynamax (at least as far as I’m aware). A few, however, instead Gigantamax, which alters their appearance as well as their size and gives them access to a special move unique to that type of Pokémon when Gigantamaxed. Kabu’s Centiskorch here has access to one, but since it’s a Fire-type move it doesn’t bother breaking it out. Boo. And then it falls to nother Max Geyser. And that’s it.

Honestly, the Fire Gym kind of unnerves me from an analytical standpoint. They keep playing it up as a major roadblock in universe (I’ve been cutting out plenty of chatter), and if the AI used their advantages intelligently, I’d believe it. Instead, they don’t, so I don’t. In fact, it dovetails nicely with a theory I’ve been building. And no, I won’t tell you it yet, give me a couple updates to polish it.

(He always names the first Pokémon in your party.)

_{…Can’t shake the feeling he was going easy on me…}



Nothing. So, next up is Hammerlocke, right?

And to get there we have to go through the deepest parts of the Wild Area.

Race you? For old time’s sake – that looks like a yes!

You planning on training up here or going on ahead?

I think I’ll – wait.

Have fun! Kick his arse!

Don’t have to tell me twice!

This will turn out well. And with that, we’ve completed this section of the game and now have to go back through the Wild Area to reach our next objective. So, uh, see you later for a bunch of mechanics chat.

Falconier111 fucked around with this message at 03:47 on Nov 12, 2020

Blaziken386 fucked around with this message at 21:00 on Nov 12, 2020