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Pigsfeet on Rye
Oct 22, 2008

I'm meat on the hoof

Knorrren posted:

The nice thing about decorating with filthy trash is that you can always start fresh with whatever is left after your housefire:



Even more country character than it had before!

The thing in the center is a halloween ghost costume for your erection.

A shameful snype

ed: even Eldridge Cleaver had one:

Pigsfeet on Rye fucked around with this message at 20:55 on Oct 27, 2020

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Mega64
May 23, 2008

I took the octopath less travelered,

And it made one-eighth the difference.
I want to be buried with all of this, I don't care if it sets my coffin on fire, if anything that'll be a bonus.

Waterbed Wendy
Jan 29, 2009

Mega64 posted:

I want to be buried with all of this, I don't care if it sets my coffin on fire, if anything that'll be a bonus.

Ur gonna get reincarnated as a dirty snowman trapped in an molasses barrel. They will sell you for $80 and only the jolliest of Christmas perverts will purchase your grubby rear end. Is that what you want?

Internetjack
Sep 15, 2007

oh god how did this get here i am not good with computers
Top Cop
The "rustic" look can sell for top dollar in the right market. A neighbor was selling an old chest at a local farmer's market. Something you might store blankets in. She had it priced at $15, which was a good deal if you like the aesthetic. People looked at it but it did not sell in two weeks. Other vendors said, "Mark it up to $150, see what happens." It sold two hours later to a yuppie-ish woman, who talked her down to a $100 price. At $15 it was just too cheap, must be garbage. At $150 it was an "antique".

Who What Now
Sep 10, 2006

by Azathoth

Pigsfeet on Rye posted:

The thing in the center is a halloween ghost costume for your erection.

It's a cloth buttplugs OP

CynCyanide
Mar 21, 2005

dance, water, dance!

Knorrren posted:



(like, realistically, are these creepy basket things where this person hides their batteries and Doritos and old gift cards and stuff? Or do you think they just go all-in and eat dried apples by candlelight?)

Shaker boxes. The splintery tupperware of Shakers(?).

Why the hell doesn't that door have a handle? Do you just pry it open by jamming your finger in the hole? I assume the appeal of the rustic look is, like, texture or something but this poo poo all looks dingy and dirty.

Waterbed Wendy
Jan 29, 2009

Internetjack posted:

The "rustic" look can sell for top dollar in the right market. A neighbor was selling an old chest at a local farmer's market. Something you might store blankets in. She had it priced at $15, which was a good deal if you like the aesthetic. People looked at it but it did not sell in two weeks. Other vendors said, "Mark it up to $150, see what happens." It sold two hours later to a yuppie-ish woman, who talked her down to a $100 price. At $15 it was just too cheap, must be garbage. At $150 it was an "antique".

can i apply this theory to my onlyfans?

Who What Now
Sep 10, 2006

by Azathoth
Only one way to find out

gimme the GOD DAMN candy
Jul 1, 2007

CynCyanide posted:

Shaker boxes. The splintery tupperware of Shakers(?).

Why the hell doesn't that door have a handle? Do you just pry it open by jamming your finger in the hole? I assume the appeal of the rustic look is, like, texture or something but this poo poo all looks dingy and dirty.

they don't actually use the splintery peasant furniture for anything other than displaying filthy peasant knick knacks. so, the drawers and cabinets and such simply don't matter.

Knorrren
Sep 8, 2014

This tree has everything you could want: a rusty mailbox, nests, bingo...things, and burlap.



But the BEST part of this setup has to be shoving a whole tree under a ladder.

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost
disappointed the mailbox doesn't say "666"

Internetjack
Sep 15, 2007

oh god how did this get here i am not good with computers
Top Cop

It's like a Katmari Damacy christmas tree just rolled around the house.

Literally A Person
Jan 1, 1970

Knorrren posted:

This tree has everything you could want: a rusty mailbox, nests, bingo...things, and burlap.



But the BEST part of this setup has to be shoving a whole tree under a ladder.

Love to be the kid who comes down christmas morning, sees the sled and ice skates and gets super pumped only to have a 'rent be all "THOSE AREN'T TOYS YOU FILTHY IMP THOSE ARE DECORATIONS!!!"

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost
That sled definitely breaks the SECOND a child places their full weight on it

Empty Sandwich
Apr 22, 2008

goatse mugs

Internetjack posted:

It's like a Katmari Damacy christmas tree just rolled around the house.

fa la la
laaa
la la la la la la laa

trickybiscuits
Jan 13, 2008

yospos
This thread scarred me. Here's some things I've found online in the same vein


"Pumpkin"/mayor from The Nightmare Before Christmas that's seen some poo poo



Cat on ecstasy



Witch with banner for town that cut off her arms and legs and hair



Snowman with femoral retroversion and withered, bisected nose



Snowman Slenderman (JESUS loving CHRIST)



Snot nightlight with attached star and bit of rag

trickybiscuits fucked around with this message at 22:18 on Oct 31, 2021

trickybiscuits
Jan 13, 2008

yospos

quote:

Dustpan Cookies
NOVEMBER 17, 2013 CHRISTMAS LEAVE A COMMENT
1. Get a new dust pan (I get mine at the dollar store)
2. Fill it with your favorite holiday cookies.
3. Add a crumpled cookie on top.
4. Add the following poem to the cookies
5. Cover with plastic wrap and tie with ribbon or raffia

Attach one of the following poems:

I baked a batch of cookies,
And dropped them on the floor.
I quickly scooped them up again,
And brought them to your door!

“““““““““

I dropped these cookies on the floor,
so we can’t eat them anymore.
I swept them up, as quick as I could.
Please let me know if they’re still good.

“““““““““““““““`
I was baking some cookies,
When they dropped on the floor
So I scooped them right up
And rushed them to your door!
Merry Christmas From Our House To Yours!

“““““““““““““`

I was in a hurry,
‘Cuz time was running out.
I’d baked a batch of cookies for you,
And when I turned about,
I saw they’d fallen on the floor.
It made me want to shout!
How could this happen at this time,
When time was running out.
I couldn’t throw them in the trash,
Whatever could I do!
I quickly swept them in this pan,
And rushed them off to you.

Dustpan cookies!

Dixville
Nov 4, 2008

I don't think!
Ham Wrangler

trickybiscuits posted:


Snowman Slenderman (JESUS loving CHRIST)



Why is he so... stained?

Sophy Wackles
Dec 17, 2000

> access main security grid
access: PERMISSION DENIED.





trickybiscuits posted:


Snowman Slenderman (JESUS loving CHRIST)


I want one!

trickybiscuits
Jan 13, 2008

yospos
Santa with no feet



Ghost angel with face wrapped in twine



Partially eaten wooden spoon



Scuffed cupboard/lead paint dispenser


Ragged Mrs. Claus outfit, pre-dirtied

Mulaney Power Move
Dec 30, 2004

this is stuff for your log home dont you cretins know anything about the log home lifestyle?

Milo and POTUS
Sep 3, 2017

I will not shut up about the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I talk about them all the time and work them into every conversation I have. I built a shrine in my room for the yellow one who died because sadly no one noticed because she died around 9/11. Wanna see it?
Santa had too many cookies

Mulaney Power Move
Dec 30, 2004

Milo and POTUS posted:

Santa had too many cookies

is that a santa has diabetes joke. you grinch.

SatansOnion
Dec 12, 2011

Knorrren posted:

From their website, a maniacal Santa lugging a decrepit panda through the snow.



The reindeer were just dead weight!

you see, Santa and his reindeer had been eating supplies which were sealed in lead-soldered cans, which accumulated in their bodies and brains causing mental deterioration and increasingly impaired judgment

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost
Brb giving my family floor cookies for X-mas.

CynCyanide
Mar 21, 2005

dance, water, dance!
Here you go, neighbor: garbage I shoveled off the floor of my shack. Eat it. Merry Christmas and go gently caress yourself.

Ralph Crammed In
May 11, 2007

Let's get clean and smart


trickybiscuits posted:




Partially eaten wooden spoon




That whole set up is going to be a nightmare to clean. Dust is going to accumulate in every nook and cranny of that dish rack and each time you brush up against of those withered bean pods they are going to fall apart and drop peas everywhere. What is even in that bowl with the lemons? Rocks? Lumps of clay? Why a whetstone and ice tongs? Who has the room in their house for this anyway?

SatansOnion
Dec 12, 2011

pretty sure I saw that very dish rack re-created in the historical re-enactment segment of an episode of Time Team :v:

Jove Tone
Jan 12, 2006

A possum hisses at me from the inner branches of the Christmas tree as mother, in her stained grey nightgown, prods me forward with her great big spintery wooden spoon to fetch a present for myself. A pair of my older brothers worn out boots, the same as every year

trickybiscuits
Jan 13, 2008

yospos

Ralph Crammed In posted:

That whole set up is going to be a nightmare to clean. Dust is going to accumulate in every nook and cranny of that dish rack and each time you brush up against of those withered bean pods they are going to fall apart and drop peas everywhere. What is even in that bowl with the lemons? Rocks? Lumps of clay? Why a whetstone and ice tongs? Who has the room in their house for this anyway?
That's what I want to know as well. I decorate my living space with dirty laundry and things I can't fit into my closet. Do these people have hobbies? Books? Is their hobby un-finishing wood?

Let's read further:

quote:

Take some beans and paint them black and white place them in a small baggie and attach the poem.


From all of us cows to all of you,
A reminder is now way overdue.
You seem to forget when Christmas draws near,
That we’re every bit as important as Santa’s reindeer.
Why, if it weren’t for us you’d have no dream,
Of butter, milk, or even ice cream!
So consider this, we have good reason
We cows, too celebrate the Christmas season.
So here’s a fitting gift , from all of us to you,
All you’re getting this year is a bunch of moo poo!
Moooey Christmas from The Cows

trickybiscuits fucked around with this message at 15:48 on Nov 2, 2021

Pigsfeet on Rye
Oct 22, 2008

I'm meat on the hoof

trickybiscuits posted:



Snowman Slenderman (JESUS loving CHRIST)





That snowman is apparently made from the Jolly Green Giant's unwashed anal beads. JFC, I had forgotten how hideous this magazine is.

Konar
Dec 14, 2006

Pigsfeet on Rye posted:

ed: even Eldridge Cleaver had one:


This guy's wikipedia is a loving ride drat

edit: have a link https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eldridge_Cleaver

A Fancy Hat
Nov 18, 2016

Always remember that the former President was dumber than the dumbest person you've ever met by a wide margin

Knorrren posted:

This tree has everything you could want: a rusty mailbox, nests, bingo...things, and burlap.



But the BEST part of this setup has to be shoving a whole tree under a ladder.

I dated a girl in high school whose family decorated almost exactly like this for Christmas. Everything was reddish or brownish, not an inch of free space on the walls, and stuff that I assumed were family heirlooms that were actually just from Pottery Barn or Pier 1 Imports strewn all over the floor.

They didn't do a ladder tree, though. Their loss.

NC Wyeth Death Cult
Dec 30, 2005

He lost his life in Chadds Ford, he was dancing with a train.
I bet my racistly-named cat that this is an eldritch tome of nostalgic authenticity that will open a gate and bring all of those lovely folk and bluegrass bands back.

Only registered members can see post attachments!

Peg Sliderskew
Jan 4, 2010

trickybiscuits posted:

That's what I want to know as well. I decorate my living space with dirty laundry and things I can't fit into my closet. Do these people have hobbies? Books? Is their hobby un-finishing wood?

Let's read further:

Here's some beans I rendered inedible because even cows think you're a piece of poo poo. Happy Holidays!

Pigsfeet on Rye
Oct 22, 2008

I'm meat on the hoof

NC Wyeth Death Cult posted:

I bet my racistly-named cat that this is an eldritch tome of nostalgic authenticity that will open a gate and bring all of those lovely folk and bluegrass bands back.



I want these guys to be doing an interpretive remix of Tupac Shakur's "Ballad of a Dead Soulja"

quote:


Take some beans and paint them black and white place them in a small baggie and attach the poem.
Just buy some Jacob's Cattle beans and don't worry about painting them.

trickybiscuits
Jan 13, 2008

yospos
From the same source

quote:

Ingredients: green tic tacs

The Grinch went down to Who-ville
And loaded up his sleigh.
He couldn’t resist the yummy smells,
And sampled along the way.
His tummy started to rumble,
Then it began to shout.
Just when he thought he might explode,
He blasted these mighty “toots” out.

To his relief, he felt so good,
It helped him with his mood.
He returned to Who-ville kind at heart,
But stayed away from all the food!


I don't like this trend.

down1nit
Jan 10, 2004

outlive your enemies
Wait.... wait what?

Green tic tacs? Grinch poop? Why did someone write this

kntfkr
Feb 11, 2019

GOOSE FUCKER

NC Wyeth Death Cult posted:

I bet my racistly-named cat that this is an eldritch tome of nostalgic authenticity that will open a gate and bring all of those lovely folk and bluegrass bands back.



which one is Mumford cuz gently caress that guy

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down1nit
Jan 10, 2004

outlive your enemies
Odds on the guy with the jacket also wearing suspenders?

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