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Courier: Hello, sir. Your best friend wanted you to have this. (turns around, drops trou)

Me: ... Nice, you remembered the ring.

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I wonder what this pain in my arm is. Hmm, probably nothing.

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My experience at this restaurant wasn't perfect. Oh well.

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I have an offbeat sexual quirk. It's just part of who I am, not something I plan to find an extremely insular community and nurture it into a life-consuming obsession over.

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This particular moment in this particular movie kind of matches my current mood. Huh.

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Hmm, this warning label says "HARMFUL IF PUT IN MOUTH OR SWALLOWED." Fortunately, almost everyone has enough common sense to heed such warnings. This is a fact about the world I live in that I can take for granted.

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I HOPE THIS MESSAGE FINDS YOU WELL STOP I AM A WEALTHY PRINCE FROM NIGERIA STOP

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"Here, come and look at this physical bulletin board. I have compiled a bunch of things that a person would only understand if they grew up during the 90's."

"Why?"

"I don't know."

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