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Mega64
May 23, 2008





Ghislaine of YOSPOS posted:

Could the next gdt please be called I Did It All For Dinucci

Better than anything I would've come up with!



Blah blah blah subject to change due to COVID and NFL incompetence, etc.




FizFashizzle posted:

I mean he's just a fall guy. We're not halfway through the season.

If you're firing Nolan, then why not McCarthy too?

I think everyone knows what's going to happen in Dallas. McCarthy is one and done, Dak is going to leave, Vander esche is going to get run over by a Llama or something, the team will collapse.

At a strip club in February, Jerry will have a cocaine induced stroke and be sent to a "care facility" by his family.

The cowboys will continue to implode. The heirs will destroy the organization Jerry built in an attempt to create something "in their own image."

The cowboys will hire a hot shot college coach who will flame out, then bring back John Fox for some old school discipline with predictable results.

Jerry will become incontinent. Another stroke will take his ability to walk. Sundays will be spent watching the team he kinda remembers owning, maybe in a past life or was that a dream? either way, the salisbury steak at this place is great, and they know how to make it just like he likes it; extra Ms. Dash, because this fake salt poo poo just doesn't cut it for him.

The memories that survive dementia are the most traumatic. In between his lucid moments he'll relive Romo's fumble on the field goal, McNabb's deep toss to Freddie Mitchell, and that one time a stripper threatened to actually bring his baby to term. Had he killed her or paid her off? Who can remember. There were so many of them.

In between pissing himself he'll sexually assault Filipino CNAs and talk about how "you just can't make those n***** play hard some time" to other employees who've grown accustomed to his frequent use of racial slurs.

He'll die forgotten and alone, his family too busy fighting over their inheritance to come see him and wheel him in front of the birds.

Eventually he'll develop a necrotic sore on his rear end from sitting down all day and making GBS threads himself. He'll spike a fever one day, become even more coherent, and the seven and a half dollar an hour CNA will realize "he's sick."

He'll die alone, incoherent, feverish, stoned off his rear end from the best pain meds money can buy. His family will not be there.

The networks will trot out a litany of drunk former players who did blow with him that claim "no one loved the game more." Roger Goodell will order a league wide moment of silence, accented by taxpayer funded flyovers in all stadiums.

As he slips his mortal coil, he'll coarsely whisper something. An environmental services employee will hear it and lean their ear close. With his dying breath, he'll strain to say.....how bout dem boys

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Android Apocalypse
Apr 28, 2009

The future is
AUTOMATED
and you are
OBSOLETE





Illegal Hen

If you aren't rooting for a Cowboys/Eagles tie you don't care for clownball at all.

Diva Cupcake
Aug 15, 2005



The Jets @ Chiefs line might be one of the biggest ever.

Joey Freshwater
Jun 20, 2004

WHO THE FOOK IS JAMEIS WINSTON

Dunny come at me with no stupid shite, kay?

'Twas a rich piece o'Harvard know-how I laid 'pon dem blokes today


Grimey Drawer

Lol Bucs Giants MNF

fartknocker
Oct 28, 2012

Damn it, this always happens. I think I'm gonna score, and then I never score. It's not fair.




Wedge Regret

Android Apocalypse posted:

If you aren't rooting for a Cowboys/Eagles tie you don't care for clownball at all.



Diva Cupcake posted:

The Jets @ Chiefs line might be one of the biggest ever.

Last I checked, itís like 19.5 right now. This came up in one of the GDTís I think, but the biggest of all time was the 2013 Broncos being favored by 28 over the Jaguars. Denver was 6-0 and scoring like 40+ a game (This was a week after the 51-48 shootout against Romo) while the Jags were 0-6. That game ended up being close early, with Denver only leading 14-12 at halftime (The Jags failed on a 2-pt attempt after a pick six just before halftime) before they got going on both sides of the ball and eventually won 35-19, rather than it being some legendary curb stomping.

Android Apocalypse
Apr 28, 2009

The future is
AUTOMATED
and you are
OBSOLETE





Illegal Hen

Joey Freshwater posted:

Lol Bucs Giants MNF

Even though Eli retired, Brady needs to lose this one like he did to BDN to keep up the pattern of losing to NFC teams he lost to in the Super Bowl.

Downside is that it could make the Giants 1st(!) in the NFCE.

Yuzenn
Mar 31, 2011

Be weary when you see oppression disguised as progression

The Spirit told me to use discernment and a Smith n Wesson at my discretion

Practice heavy self reflection, avoid self deception
If you lost, get re-direction


Android Apocalypse posted:

Even though Eli retired, Brady needs to lose this one like he did to BDN to keep up the pattern of losing to NFC teams he lost to in the Super Bowl.

Downside is that it could make the Giants 1st(!) in the NFCE.

We are going to get curb stomped, an Eli type Daniel Jones is not

Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 9, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.


How is Steelers Ravens not at least a 4 o clock game?

tarbrush
Feb 7, 2011

But Schefter said they Love Herbert?!


I think we can all agree that the Giants playing a playoff game is the hilarity that 2021 will need.

Impossibly Perfect Sphere
Nov 6, 2002

Icon. Factor.


Android Apocalypse posted:

Even though Eli retired, Brady needs to lose this one like he did to BDN to keep up the pattern of losing to NFC teams he lost to in the Super Bowl.


I think it's more likely Daniel "Dimes" Jones turns the ball over eight times.

Joey Freshwater
Jun 20, 2004

WHO THE FOOK IS JAMEIS WINSTON

Dunny come at me with no stupid shite, kay?

'Twas a rich piece o'Harvard know-how I laid 'pon dem blokes today


Grimey Drawer

Android Apocalypse posted:

Even though Eli retired, Brady needs to lose this one like he did to BDN to keep up the pattern of losing to NFC teams he lost to in the Super Bowl.

Downside is that it could make the Giants 1st(!) in the NFCE.

With the way the defense has been playing I don't think Brady will have to do much this game

fsif
Jul 18, 2003



Joey Freshwater posted:

Lol Bucs Giants MNF

Man, all the prime time games this week.

fartknocker
Oct 28, 2012

Damn it, this always happens. I think I'm gonna score, and then I never score. It's not fair.




Wedge Regret

tarbrush posted:

I think we can all agree that the Giants playing a playoff game is the hilarity that 2021 will need.

The winner of the NFC East, with a losing record, is going to host the top wildcard team, which will probably be the second place NFC West team with double digit wins. The NFC East team will win this game in hilarious fashion.

FizFashizzle
Mar 30, 2005









Eager to watch the Panthers blow an easy game against the Falcons.

It is our destiny.

Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 9, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.


fartknocker posted:

The winner of the NFC East, with a losing record, is going to host the top wildcard team, which will probably be the second place NFC West team with double digit wins. The NFC East team will win this game in hilarious fashion.

I welcome it.

OxySnake
Mar 22, 2007

We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.


The line for the Jets is +21, but I would put money down that the Vikings lose by that much.

R.D. Mangles
Jan 10, 2004



so you can tell stanley tucci
to stick it up his yeah

OxySnake
Mar 22, 2007

We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.


fartknocker posted:

The winner of the NFC East, with a losing record, is going to host the top wildcard team, which will probably be the second place NFC West team with double digit wins. The NFC East team will win this game in hilarious fashion.

Ive said it before, but if your not cheering for &e to get his first playoff win on a sub .500 Dallas team you hate fun.

fartknocker
Oct 28, 2012

Damn it, this always happens. I think I'm gonna score, and then I never score. It's not fair.




Wedge Regret

OxySnake posted:

Ive said it before, but if your not cheering for &e to get his first playoff win on a sub .500 Dallas team you hate fun.

I mean, gently caress the Cowboys forever, but that would be pretty funny...

wandler20
Nov 13, 2002



Joey Freshwater posted:

With the way the defense has been playing I don't think Brady will have to do much this game

I mean, just last season, they blew an 18 point lead to Daniel loving Jones.

Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 9, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.


I want Dallas to go 6-10, win the division, upset whoever they play in the first round of the playoffs and then for Jerry in his euphoria to extend Andy as the QB of the future and let Dak leave for some other team. Thatís the funniest scenario.

Android Apocalypse
Apr 28, 2009

The future is
AUTOMATED
and you are
OBSOLETE





Illegal Hen

Is there a minimum time a concussed person has to sit out? I know concussions are not like an ACL where we know now how long recovery time is, but he's out only the week minimum, right?

fartknocker
Oct 28, 2012

Damn it, this always happens. I think I'm gonna score, and then I never score. It's not fair.




Wedge Regret

Android Apocalypse posted:

Is there a minimum time a concussed person has to sit out? I know concussions are not like an ACL where we know now how long recovery time is, but he's out only the week minimum, right?

No minimum time at all, he just has to pass the various concussion tests, which could happen at any time.

Joey Freshwater
Jun 20, 2004

WHO THE FOOK IS JAMEIS WINSTON

Dunny come at me with no stupid shite, kay?

'Twas a rich piece o'Harvard know-how I laid 'pon dem blokes today


Grimey Drawer

wandler20 posted:

I mean, just last season, they blew an 18 point lead to Daniel loving Jones.

Fair but neither of these teams look the same and if Matt loving Gay had made that 30 yarder as time expired it wouldn't have mattered.

Magicpants
Sep 15, 2011



OxySnake posted:

Ive said it before, but if your not cheering for &e to get his first playoff win on a sub .500 Dallas team you hate fun.

I am -- but I'm also cheering, just slightly harder, for someone to get eliminated by The Football Team

shyduck
Oct 3, 2003




https://twitter.com/joriepstein/sta...8906109967?s=21

wandler20
Nov 13, 2002



Joey Freshwater posted:

Fair but neither of these teams look the same and if Matt loving Gay had made that 30 yarder as time expired it wouldn't have mattered.

Our kickers man. Succop has been solid this year at least.

Also, lol @ 3 of the 4 teams playing in primetime this week are from the NFCE. The NFL has to flex that SNF game out. Just move Seattle to SNF permanently since their games are always bonkers.

really queer Christmas
Apr 22, 2014





The cowboys collapsing has been a nice treat

Silly Burrito
Nov 26, 2007

Get the hell
out of my way.

New Orleans Saints:
Three Straight


Championships!



Lipstick Apathy

FizFashizzle posted:

Eager to watch the Panthers blow an easy game against the Falcons.

It is our destiny.

Iíve already steeled myself for the two Saints/Falcons games.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001




wandler20 posted:

Our kickers man. Succop has been solid this year at least.

Also, lol @ 3 of the 4 teams playing in primetime this week are from the NFCE. The NFL has to flex that SNF game out. Just move Seattle to SNF permanently since their games are always bonkers.

Don't you dare take prime time Cowboys @ Eagles away from us.

Android Apocalypse
Apr 28, 2009

The future is
AUTOMATED
and you are
OBSOLETE





Illegal Hen

I know it's not like a multiple choice test like your high school biology class but there's a part of me that would if players figure out how to fool the concussion protocols & get back on the field before they're truly ready.

Grittybeard
Mar 29, 2010


Android Apocalypse posted:

I know it's not like a multiple choice test like your high school biology class but there's a part of me that would if players figure out how to fool the concussion protocols & get back on the field before they're truly ready.

They do for some versions of the baseline tests. They ask you little logic questions and you're supposed to answer as fast as you can when you're healthy before the season or whatever. Then they run that back after a big hit and see if it takes you a lot longer to answer. Lots of guys intentionally fudge the hell out of their baselines.

Or did at least, I don't know if the testing method has changed.

pasaluki
Feb 27, 2008

THIS WHAGON HAS NO BREAKS! I HAVE THE HEART OF THE BUUFALO the strength OF THE MOUNTAIN, THE FURY OF THE THUNDER AND MY WILL IS UNBREAKABLE! I will not surrender to KNOW ONE


If your Andy why rush back to a team that is going to get you killed and actually doesn't care when they do?

Android Apocalypse
Apr 28, 2009

The future is
AUTOMATED
and you are
OBSOLETE





Illegal Hen

pasaluki posted:

If your Andy why rush back to a team that is going to get you killed and actually doesn't care when they do?

The competitive nature of QB's that want to be starters?

I wish medical personnel would be an independent entity not paid & ultimately influenced by teams, as getting players back on the field seems to be the desire over the health of the player.

SKULL.GIF
Jan 20, 2017




https://thumbs.gfycat.com/Admirable...tbat-mobile.mp4

wandler20
Nov 13, 2002



Godwin has the worst luck this year.

https://twitter.com/MySportsUpdate/...8133471235?s=20

Better Than You
Apr 23, 2010



he's not mad at all

SHOAH NUFF
Nov 14, 2005

Blood Clots
Sweat Dries
Bones Heal
Suck it Up and Keep Wrestling


Cowboys players letting Andy Dalton get brutalized with no fight, drat. I remember Reggie Ragland tweeting this after Myles Garrett brained Kyle Rudolph lol

https://twitter.com/reggieragland/s...7180346369?s=20

a neat cape
Feb 22, 2007

Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!


https://twitter.com/MySportsUpdate/...118175619092480

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Magicpants
Sep 15, 2011




ravens trying desperately, pathetically to join the bucs-chiefs arms race

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