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Somebody Awful posted:Every time I see a claim like this, I want to back the author into a corner and see how long it takes to make him admit that "dark group of global elites" means Jews. Hayden posted:I'm gonna guess the dog whistles start immediately, and I'll put the line for actual slurs at 15 minutes. I'm taking the under. I'd be willing to bet the slurs would be dressed up into, "Judaic Global Banker Elite."
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Mar 31, 2021 19:42
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Boy howdy, look at this IRATE CRAZY WOMAN!!! Now let me tell you about why you need to put a sliced onion in your shirt sleeve. 
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Apr 2, 2021 18:28
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Captain Log posted:Boy howdy, look at this IRATE CRAZY WOMAN!!!  That’s obviously an onion in a sock.
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Apr 2, 2021 23:48
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SMH at people wearing onions on something besides their belts.
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Apr 3, 2021 02:46
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HILLARY CLINTON IS IN MY YARD TEARIN' UP ALL MY ROOT VEGETABLES!!! HOW DO I REMOVE?!?! ALSO EVERY TIME I EAT A SWEET POTATO I GET SOMETHING I CALL "EXPLOSIVE AGENT ORANGE" CLEARLY A LIB PLOT!!! 
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Apr 4, 2021 18:25
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These guys have been using the same headlines and press pool photos from the late 2000s for over a decade now.
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Apr 5, 2021 11:21
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Scratch Monkey posted:These guys have been using the same headlines and press pool photos from the late 2000s for over a decade now. Speaking of that, they seem to be updating their insults to "Homophobic Sixth Grader from 2003." I'm only posting the first few lines of this email, because the rest of it is normal "Blah blah blah CHINA blah blah." ---------------------------- You already know about Biden’s corrupt business dealings around the world... But what you probably DON’T know is: Biden is also “butt buddies” with America’s worst international enemy.
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Apr 5, 2021 18:40
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Butt buddies? I feel like I'm in the 6th grade again.
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Apr 5, 2021 18:49
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The quotations make it all the more, "Grandpa is saying racist poo poo again but thinks it's OK because he keeps doing air quotes."
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Apr 5, 2021 18:51
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Captain Log posted:The quotations make it all the more, "Grandpa is saying racist poo poo again but thinks it's OK because he keeps doing air quotes." Yeah, I'll tell you what, I know for a FACT that Biden and America's worst international enemy? They're "rump rangers"!
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Apr 5, 2021 20:34
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Biden campaign missed out on a chance for a "Biden's Butt Buddies" fundraiser in the gay community. Everyone loves alliteration.
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Apr 5, 2021 20:52
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Honey, start calling the Militia Phone Tree! BLM is about to attack us right here in Pikeville, Kentucky! I'm going to the roof recliner to keep watch overwatch on the holler! ----------------------------- Log - you may not know this, but ANTIFA and BLM are present in all 50 states and over 35 different countries. Recently, there’s been online chatter suggesting the two groups might start attacking small towns and neighborhoods in all 50 states. It doesn’t matter if you live in a million dollar mansion or a mobile home... If you don’t take the simple steps you’ll see on the next page... Rioters will likely breach your home faster than an ice cube melts on a hot summer day. Thankfully, my friend and ex-Cop Frank Mitchell wants to show you a cheap and easy way to make your home IMPENETRABLE. It has nothing to do with alarm systems like Brinks or ADT... which actually do nothing to stop bad guys from getting in your home. Instead, this simple method lets you lock your house down tighter than Fort Knox -- with just a cheap Lowes trip and a couple hours. Frank explains everything in his new book Bulletproof Home Security -- which is available FREE today. Inside, you’ll discover: >> 5 Simple Ways To Make Your Front Door A Hardened Barricade - 85% of home invasions happen through your front door. >> How to Turn Your Windows Into “Transparent Steel” - Without this, crooks are one tap away from being inside your home. >> Every Home’s BIGGEST Weak Spot - Every house has this, and it’s begging to be broken into. >> Common Mistakes That Mark You As A Prime Target - You might as well be waving a big red flag that says “rob me” if you’re doing these 4 things. Like I said, today you have the chance to get a copy of this priceless security manual for Free. With the constant risk of more rioting and social unrest, Frank is handing these out Free to ensure as many Americans as possible are prepared for the worst. But unfortunately, he doesn’t have many copies to give away. There are currently enough Free copies for the next 11 readers. After that, we can’t make any promises. Grab your Free copy NOW while they’re still available. Talk soon and God bless, Jordon Perkins
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Apr 13, 2021 18:19
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I swear, we need a PO box so we can get some of this stuff. I'm 99% sure most of it is there to mine for address data for junk mail, so a PO box is a must. Seriously, I need to Fort Knox my house against the Armenian Antifa!
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Apr 13, 2021 18:29
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Is this security expert going to tell me how to fireproof my home? Because honestly that’s the biggest thing I worry about if there’s a riot overrunning my neighborhood. Also, a forest fire is the biggest natural disaster I worry about. So fireproofing would be awesome. Thx.
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Apr 13, 2021 19:24
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As we all know, when people are trying to conquer a place they start with the tiny irrelevant towns. The thing I love is how I've been getting "Sweepstakes Entries" with each email for "One of a Kind" prizes that haven't changed in five years.
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Apr 13, 2021 19:31
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Captain Log posted:85% of home invasions happen through your front door. Wow, my front door sure gets around! 
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Apr 13, 2021 20:12
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EasilyConfused posted:Wow, my front door sure gets around! The back door is a lot harder to get into the first time. But once it's open...it's open.
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Apr 13, 2021 20:21
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Captain Log posted:You might as well be waving a big red flag that says “rob me” if you’re doing these 4 things. Does putting gun stickers on your car make the list? 
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Apr 13, 2021 22:33
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Somebody Awful posted:Does putting gun stickers on your car make the list? Serious answer? I'm a "No." But for me, keeping your car from getting robbed is more about where you park than how your car looks. I also think stickers on a car say, "This car is old and I'm not worried about the resale", which doesn't really say the same as a 2021 Lexus SUV with a MAGA sticker.
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Apr 13, 2021 23:37
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infrared35 posted:Is this security expert going to tell me how to fireproof my home? Because honestly that’s the biggest thing I worry about if there’s a riot overrunning my neighborhood. Constantly piss on your house so that rioters know it's yours and it's too damp to be overcome by a forest fire.
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Apr 13, 2021 23:50
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charliebravo77 posted:Constantly piss on your house so that rioters know it's yours and it's too damp to be overcome by a forest fire. We’re gonna need more piss.
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Apr 14, 2021 00:32
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Captain Log posted:The back door is a lot harder to get into the first time. But once it's open...it's open. Also, should I get a red flag to let antifa know I'm on their side when they overrun my small town?
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Apr 14, 2021 00:47
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charliebravo77 posted:Constantly piss on your house so that rioters know it's yours and it's too damp to be overcome by a forest fire. I like where your head's at. BRB, stocking up on diuretics.
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Apr 14, 2021 02:35
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