Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
ratings?
boobs, cleavage, bulging junk in tight pants
cliffhangers
swears
unnaturally beautiful actors and cryptids
other ideas
View Results
 
  • Post
  • Reply
Luvcow




so it's my last two days as your feared ik and i want to address the elephant in the room... byob's ratings are down amongst our core audience. our board of overseers has cut funding and our missionaries have all either been assimilated by the tribes they went out to preach to or they've been lost to natural disasters, wild animal attacks or both simultaneously. there have been several ideas bandied about and i'd like to use this thread to discuss these and other ideas for getting our ratings back up:

1. more gratuitous nudity in thread tags
2. more cliffhangers at the end of pages
3. swears, lots and lots of swears, like we should talk like the cool kids do these days
4. byob posters be replaced by younger, more beautiful actors who are clearly in their late 20s to early 40s but are cast as teenagers in a dark yet tumultuous high school setting... with super powers... and vampires... and mummies

please use this thread to discuss

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

barnold

...but i didnt finish




subliminal messages. just embed the following key primal activator words into the forum stylesheet:

gently caress
SEX
KILL
DIE
MURDER
EXTREME rear end

oh but seriously I

Do you ever wonder if there are other planets out there
(source)

"posting" is now sending a message for the hottest Yob to read out on twitch

(┛◉Д◉)┛彡┻━┻ NUT NEEDS OUR HELP! (┛◉Д◉)┛彡┻━┻ NUT NEEDS OUR HELP!

A Khanstant Production
(┛◉Д◉)┛彡┻━┻ NUT NEEDS OUR HELP! (┛◉Д◉)┛彡┻━┻ NUT NEEDS OUR HELP!

Manifisto




I think part of the problem is that the snails we've been hiring are putting too much focus on "craft" and "method" instead of just being young dumb and cute. nobody reads byob for the witty snail banter, they want hotties.



amazing sigs courtesy of cda, vanisher, luvcow, and khanstant

Kaiser Schnitzel

Schnitzel mit uns




Unnaturally beautiful actors with bulging junk in tight pants wasnít an option so I just voted bulging junk but I think we need the unnaturally beautiful actors as well tbh. I just saw the ratings numbers and things are lookin rough.




ty nut and vanisher for this wonderful sig!

Kaiser Schnitzel

Schnitzel mit uns




Manifisto posted:

I think part of the problem is that the snails we've been hiring are putting too much focus on "craft" and "method" instead of just being young dumb and cute. nobody reads byob for the witty snail banter, they want hotties.

Itís really this. Folks just want to watch those sexy snails entwine. who cares if they can string a coherent sentence together.




ty nut and vanisher for this wonderful sig!

Manifisto




we also lack the competitive aspect that younger demographics crave. nobody is voting each other out of threads or being eliminated with a witty catchphrase (e.g. "your hurf is durfed"). also we need some kind of prize that people throw each other under the bus for, like a weeklong pass to post in fyad without anybody being mean to you, or the right to close the subforum of your choice.

Gluten Free Dad



With regards to point 3, just pointing out that I'm British so if you need a dude who can liberally, carelessly throw the C word around, upset a lot of people, but then claim diplomatic immunity, I'm your guy

Evil Bob

've lived a thousand times. I found out what it means to be believed.


Yeah I'm gonna have to vote for sexy 20-40 year olds to play teenage posters

EVILBOBEVILBOBEVILBOBEVILBOBEVILBOBEVILBOBEVILBOBEVILBOBEVILBOBEVILBOBEVILBOBEVILBOBEVILBOB

(┛◉Д◉)┛彡┻━┻ #YesNutNovember - add this to your sig if you love and support BYOB's own nut

oh but seriously I

Do you ever wonder if there are other planets out there
(source)

i was gonna post like a young person posting as me but i have no idea how young people behave

(┛◉Д◉)┛彡┻━┻ NUT NEEDS OUR HELP! (┛◉Д◉)┛彡┻━┻ NUT NEEDS OUR HELP!

A Khanstant Production
(┛◉Д◉)┛彡┻━┻ NUT NEEDS OUR HELP! (┛◉Д◉)┛彡┻━┻ NUT NEEDS OUR HELP!

Evil Bob

've lived a thousand times. I found out what it means to be believed.


Ugh math is so hard like when am i even gonna use it *takes off shirt the way guys in movies do to reveal rippling 8pack abs* i just want to write music and like solve mysteries i guess

teenage life am i right? monsters and romance and *5 o clock shadow creeping in* yeah sex

EVILBOBEVILBOBEVILBOBEVILBOBEVILBOBEVILBOBEVILBOBEVILBOBEVILBOBEVILBOBEVILBOBEVILBOBEVILBOB

(┛◉Д◉)┛彡┻━┻ #YesNutNovember - add this to your sig if you love and support BYOB's own nut

Jinh



It's true we haven't been anywhere near as horny this month compared to September. Nude Spawn was a big hit, hop in the zoom meeting and let's brainstorm if it's possible for other comic book characters to become naked.

Manifisto




we need to build on the success of some of our classic properties. for example, why does the gf pour the blue fluid on the tampon only 1x/month? what if it was 2x or even 3x? the sky's the limit here and that's before considering other colors besides blue.

nut

by Fluffdaddy


Monster Energy's The Floor is Java Half-Caf full Guarana presents nut's post:

weird, i've been doing really well lately

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

Prof. Crocodile



well we've already tried stealing a bunch of disney property, and we have brought back fan favorite bo pepper.

i think that the logical next step is to kill off a popular character for a quick ratings boost. i would volunteer but i am not popular, so unfortunately i will have to continue living.

Prof. Crocodile fucked around with this message at 16:09 on Oct 29, 2020


thank you to vanisher for the awesome back-to-school sig!


thank you city of glompton for this glomptastic autumn sig! thank you khanstant for the sigoblin!

Luvcow




oh but seriously I posted:

"posting" is now sending a message for the hottest Yob to read out on twitch

ok running with this idea, if we can raise $300 we can have lindsay lohan read our posts live!

https://www.cameo.com/lindsaylohan

also yes we need dumber but sexier snails

brb writing down the rest of these ideas on my yellow legal pad

https://giant.gfycat.com/FrankTightButterfly.webm

thanks to manifisto for the amazing sig

Prof. Crocodile



Luvcow posted:

if we can raise $300 we can have lindsay lohan read our posts live!

also yes we need dumber but sexier snails


you have the solution in the same post as the problem


thank you to vanisher for the awesome back-to-school sig!


thank you city of glompton for this glomptastic autumn sig! thank you khanstant for the sigoblin!

Luvcow




ok i love the idea of killing off a popular poster, i believe manifisto is already on it with his package of "bees" being sent out

and the writers are excited at this prospective storyline:

Evil Bob posted:

Ugh math is so hard like when am i even gonna use it *takes off shirt the way guys in movies do to reveal rippling 8pack abs* i just want to write music and like solve mysteries i guess

teenage life am i right? monsters and romance and *5 o clock shadow creeping in* yeah sex

we're toying with the idea of me being played by zac effron and i'll be a mummy with a crippling hedgehog addiction who swears a lot and never seems to wear a shirt

FutonForensic



Kaiser Schnitzel posted:

Itís really this. Folks just want to watch those sexy snails entwine. who cares if they can string a coherent sentence together.

Well guess I better start now:


hey perverts LOOK at these psuedo-snails having a gently caress these pseudo-snails look at them GO AT IT with FULL FRONTAL SLIPPERY





you like it??? no---you love it!!!


by Khanstant

Manifisto




Prof. Crocodile posted:

you have the solution in the same post as the problem

having lindsay lohan sing the "snail with human titties" song might legit be worth $300



amazing sigs courtesy of cda, vanisher, luvcow, and khanstant

Luvcow




FutonForensic posted:

Well guess I better start now:


hey perverts LOOK at these psuedo-snails having a gently caress these pseudo-snails look at them GO AT IT with FULL FRONTAL SLIPPERY





you like it??? no---you love it!!!

yes!!! we just scored a ratings boost!!!

Manifisto posted:

having lindsay lohan sing the "snail with human titties" song might legit be worth $300

omfg i think we are through the looking glass here...

https://giant.gfycat.com/FrankTightButterfly.webm

thanks to manifisto for the amazing sig

Jinh



Manifisto posted:

having lindsay lohan sing the "snail with human titties" song might legit be worth $300

sk

(ヤイケス!)



the 18-35 demo tunes in for conflict! for sweeps week we need to start a (friendly, ironic) war with another subforum. I suggest P/C because we both like ghosts


thank you prof crocodile and owlhawk911 and Khanstant!!


Add to your sig if you're a proud supporter of your local union!

(┛◉Д◉)┛彡┻━┻ #YesNutNovember - add this to your sig if you love and support BYOB's own nut

alnilam



Manifisto posted:

we need to build on the success of some of our classic properties. for example, why does the gf pour the blue fluid on the tampon only 1x/month? what if it was 2x or even 3x? the sky's the limit here and that's before considering other colors besides blue.

i'm all for innovation but there are some things you just don't mess with imo



ty manifisto

Sid Vicious



my rating of BYOB is 10/10 which is a very high rating and I will say this: ty for letting me come back I love you all

Glutes Are Great
Probation
Can't post for 2 hours!


Search engine optimization for byob is already ordered, we will have to try to include FART gently caress HELL in every seventh post from now on



Sid Vicious



bring back the snail with human titties the people demand it

Joey McChrist






FutonForensic posted:

Well guess I better start now:


hey perverts LOOK at these psuedo-snails having a gently caress these pseudo-snails look at them GO AT IT with FULL FRONTAL SLIPPERY





you like it??? no---you love it!!!

*crowd of yobbers screaming FUTON FUTON like they're on Jerry Springer*



big thanks to sk for the sullivan sig!

sk

(ヤイケス!)



FutonForensic posted:

Well guess I better start now:


hey perverts LOOK at these psuedo-snails having a gently caress these pseudo-snails look at them GO AT IT with FULL FRONTAL SLIPPERY





you like it??? no---you love it!!!


thank you prof crocodile and owlhawk911 and Khanstant!!


Add to your sig if you're a proud supporter of your local union!

(┛◉Д◉)┛彡┻━┻ #YesNutNovember - add this to your sig if you love and support BYOB's own nut

ClamdestineBoyster


Iíd go with partial nudity but nobody can tell if youíre naked or not. Do you think people would take your word for it?

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

Sid Vicious



ya gotta trust each other

ClamdestineBoyster


I am wearing clothes, right now at least..

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

Slush Garbo

Corbin Bernsen eat your heart out


i got two words for you:


SHARK WEEK

Heather Papps


hello internet friend






Slush Garbo posted:

i got two words for you:


SHARK WEEK

https://giant.gfycat.com/DownrightTediousDinosaur.webmvanisher/nut collab fall 2020 gratefulness edition.

my goblin god is my one khanstant

Luvcow




Sid Vicious posted:

bring back the snail with human titties the people demand it

we spearheaded a campaign to bring back the snails this summer and we sold three (3) issues of our swimsuit issue!


https://forums.somethingawful.com/s...hreadid=3930329

https://giant.gfycat.com/FrankTightButterfly.webm

thanks to manifisto for the amazing sig

Ass-penny



Luvcow posted:

so it's my last two days as your feared ik and i want to address the elephant in the room... byob's ratings are down amongst our core audience. our board of overseers has cut funding and our missionaries have all either been assimilated by the tribes they went out to preach to or they've been lost to natural disasters, wild animal attacks or both simultaneously. there have been several ideas bandied about and i'd like to use this thread to discuss these and other ideas for getting our ratings back up:

1. more gratuitous nudity in thread tags
2. more cliffhangers at the end of pages
3. swears, lots and lots of swears, like we should talk like the cool kids do these days
4. byob posters be replaced by younger, more beautiful actors who are clearly in their late 20s to early 40s but are cast as teenagers in a dark yet tumultuous high school setting... with super powers... and vampires... and mummies

please use this thread to discuss

I was excited to see cryptids in the poll, but when I read the OP it looks more like you are talking about monsters and not cryptids? We need drop bears! Fresno Nightcrawlers! Flat Bigfoot!

Also:

Slush Garbo posted:

i got two words for you:


SHARK WEEK


Thank you Khanstant for the excellent gobbo
(┛◉Д◉)┛彡┻━┻ #YesNutNovember - add this to your sig if you love and support BYOB's own nut

oh but seriously I

Do you ever wonder if there are other planets out there
(source)

SkunkApe OnlyFans

(┛◉Д◉)┛彡┻━┻ NUT NEEDS OUR HELP! (┛◉Д◉)┛彡┻━┻ NUT NEEDS OUR HELP!

A Khanstant Production
(┛◉Д◉)┛彡┻━┻ NUT NEEDS OUR HELP! (┛◉Д◉)┛彡┻━┻ NUT NEEDS OUR HELP!

Joey McChrist






if you want to bring in the ratings you need tables ladders and chairs



big thanks to sk for the sullivan sig!

oh but seriously I

Do you ever wonder if there are other planets out there
(source)

A wedding episode always pops the numbers. Who we marrying Papps off to?

(┛◉Д◉)┛彡┻━┻ NUT NEEDS OUR HELP! (┛◉Д◉)┛彡┻━┻ NUT NEEDS OUR HELP!

A Khanstant Production
(┛◉Д◉)┛彡┻━┻ NUT NEEDS OUR HELP! (┛◉Д◉)┛彡┻━┻ NUT NEEDS OUR HELP!

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Chewbecca

Just chillin' : )

It looks like there's a significant dip in ratings once I wake up and start posting must be a coincidence





sigs by Professor Crocodile, luvcow and Khanstant.
Click on Spoonville for a neat surprise!


(┛◉Д◉)┛彡┻━┻ #YesNutNovember - add this to your sig if you love and support BYOB's own nut

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • Post
  • Reply