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Bust Rodd
Oct 21, 2008

In Rodd we Bust





I think Pratchet is probably the best author Iíve read in my life and I feel like the Vimes books are probably the best written out of the series, but the way cops function in Ankh-Morpork is a degree of fantasy more absurd than the 8 fundamental spells or Santa Claus being a real person.

Edit: like to such a degree that ďcopĒ practically means something different on discworld, where they have the capacity to do good.

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tsob
Sep 26, 2006

Chalalala~


As opposed to the fantasy any other cop show indulges in

pile of brown
Dec 31, 2004


I enjoy Terry Pratchett, but I think you ought to read more.

Vinylshadow
Mar 20, 2017






Man, they're spoiling us

Bust Rodd
Oct 21, 2008

In Rodd we Bust





lmao he's wearing a crew neck sweater under his Mandalorian battle armor like a mid-Atlantic swim team dad ha ha ha

Dawgstar
Jul 15, 2017





Bust Rodd posted:

lmao he's wearing a crew neck sweater under his Mandalorian battle armor like a mid-Atlantic swim team dad ha ha ha

I remember being surprised to learn Lukeís pants in ANH were just jeans dyed white.

fartknocker
Oct 28, 2012

Damn it, this always happens. I think I'm gonna score, and then I never score. It's not fair.




Wedge Regret

Dawgstar posted:

I remember being surprised to learn Lukeís pants in ANH were just jeans dyed white.

Iím surprised to learn that now.

AlternateNu
May 5, 2005

"すやぁ~じゃなくて!"



Give me Columbo in the SW universe.

shades of eternity
Nov 9, 2013

Where kitties raise dragons in the world's largest mall.

AlternateNu posted:

Give me Columbo in the SW universe.

and make him an inquisitor

He drives people to the dark side using questions. :p

Vinylshadow
Mar 20, 2017


shades of eternity posted:

and make him an inquisitor

He drives people to the dark side using questions. :p

"You know, sir, itís a funny thing. All my life I kept running into smart people. I donít just mean smart like you and the people in this Empire. You know what I mean. In the Inquisitorious, there were lots of smarter inquisitors. And when I first joined the force, sir, they had some very clever people there. And I could tell right away that it wasnít gonna be easy killing Jedi as long as they were around. But I figured, if I worked harder than they did, put in more time, read the books, kept my eyes open, maybe I could make it happen. And I did. And I really love my work, sir."

AndyElusive
Jan 7, 2007



pile of brown posted:

Chopper should get his own show

He got one, it was called Rebels.

Spookydonut
Sep 13, 2010

"Hello alien thoughtbeasts! We murder children!"
~our children?~
"Not recently, no!"
~we cool bro~

AndyElusive posted:

He got one, it was called Rebels.

It was ruined by too much ezra and not enough chopper/ahsoka

Vinylshadow
Mar 20, 2017


Chopper, Beetee, Artoo, HK-47, and Triple-Zero walk into a bar...

...the authorities found no survivors

Spookydonut
Sep 13, 2010

"Hello alien thoughtbeasts! We murder children!"
~our children?~
"Not recently, no!"
~we cool bro~

I want Filoni and Favreau to bring back actual hk47 because I think they'd do him justice.

shades of eternity
Nov 9, 2013

Where kitties raise dragons in the world's largest mall.

Vinylshadow posted:

Chopper, Beetee, Artoo, HK-47, and Triple-Zero walk into a bar...

...the authorities found no survivors

and L3-37 declares the revolution has begun.

tsob
Sep 26, 2006

Chalalala~


Vinylshadow posted:

Chopper, Beetee, Artoo, HK-47, and Triple-Zero walk into a bar...

...the authorities found no survivors

I will always advocate for Squeaky in these situations, because his argumentative personality and underworld contacts, as well as his skill in requestioning stuff are always going to be valuable. Plus, the fact he's a "free" droid, and no longer required to obey humans like many others are would probably serve such a group well.

mllaneza
Apr 28, 2007


Veteran, Bermuda Triangle Expeditionary Force, 1993-1952





Bust Rodd posted:

Edit: like to such a degree that ďcopĒ practically means something different on discworld, where they have the capacity to do good.

"Cop" means something different in England. They have a fundamentally different concept, "policing by consent". See, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peelian_principles

Necrothatcher
Mar 26, 2005






mllaneza posted:

"Cop" means something different in England. They have a fundamentally different concept, "policing by consent". See, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peelian_principles

This is basically irrelevant in practice in the UK. Cops are cops are cops.

Bust Rodd
Oct 21, 2008

In Rodd we Bust





Itís honestly impressive the way UK police manage to terrorize people over there without the crazy dependence on firearms that US police have

Vintersorg
Mar 3, 2004

PRESIDENT OF THE OFFICIAL BRENDAN FRASER FAN CLUB





AlternateNu posted:

Give me Columbo in the SW universe.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_5vFOEAPec

shades of eternity
Nov 9, 2013

Where kitties raise dragons in the world's largest mall.

Debating.

next episode of droids or do ewoks as a matched set.

Its Rinaldo
Aug 13, 2010

TRUBES BINCH


Combine them. Cyborg ewok

Arquinsiel
Jun 1, 2006

"There is no such thing as society. There are individual men and women, and there are families. And no government can do anything except through people, and people must look to themselves first."

God Bless Margaret Thatcher
God Bless England
RIP My Iron Lady


Dave Syndrome posted:

Not nearly good enough. He didn't kill even ONE person.
fair point.

Vinylshadow
Mar 20, 2017


I'm crediting all the kills via Death Star Laser in Rogue One to Chopper, because neither Krennic nor Tarkin deserve those figures

Everyone
Sep 6, 2019
Probation
Can't post for 38 hours!


Vinylshadow posted:

I'm crediting all the kills via Death Star Laser in Rogue One to Chopper, because neither Krennic nor Tarkin deserve those figures

Chopper distance-hacked the Death Star targeting system and uploaded code to tweak their fire control so they could fire lesser-powered beams. Because Chopper likes to watch people die a few at a time, despairing as they do instead of quickly and all at once. He likes to savor the experience.

Captain Splendid
Jan 7, 2009

Qu'en pense Caffarelli?

There was an IG-88 in the Death Star

Dawgstar
Jul 15, 2017





Captain Splendid posted:

There was an IG-88 in the Death Star

Hutts built a Death Star.

Ghost Leviathan
Mar 2, 2017

Exploration is ill-advised




Dawgstar posted:

Hutts built a Death Star.

Wasn't it a cheap lovely knockoff Death Star?

That does at least make material sense. And they did have the Death Star hinted as a Seperatist project that the newly formed Empire appropriated.

fartknocker
Oct 28, 2012

Damn it, this always happens. I think I'm gonna score, and then I never score. It's not fair.




Wedge Regret

Ghost Leviathan posted:

Wasn't it a cheap lovely knockoff Death Star?

That does at least make material sense. And they did have the Death Star hinted as a Seperatist project that the newly formed Empire appropriated.

Yes, it was the original Darksaber from the crappy book of the same name. It was basically just the super laser without anything else attached to it, built on the cheap by some hive minded... rodent monkey alien things? And it was full of problems and basically blew up the first time they tried to actually use it.

BizarroAzrael
Apr 6, 2006

"That must weigh heavily on your soul. Let me purge it for you."

fartknocker posted:

Yes, it was the original Darksaber from the crappy book of the same name. It was basically just the super laser without anything else attached to it, built on the cheap by some hive minded... rodent monkey alien things? And it was full of problems and basically blew up the first time they tried to actually use it.

Flew into an asteroid after Crix Madine got executed after failing to sabotage it. They may as well have not bothered.

TK-42-1
Oct 30, 2013

looks like we have a bad transmitter



rip bevel lemlesk or whatever his name was. the only good part of that book

fartknocker
Oct 28, 2012

Damn it, this always happens. I think I'm gonna score, and then I never score. It's not fair.




Wedge Regret

TK-42-1 posted:

rip bevel lemlesk or whatever his name was. the only good part of that book

More like RIP, RIP, RIP, RIP, RIP, RIP, RIP, but yeah, Bevel Lemelisk and the stuff with him is one of the few interesting parts of it.

Dawgstar
Jul 15, 2017





BizarroAzrael posted:

Flew into an asteroid after Crix Madine got executed after failing to sabotage it. They may as well have not bothered.

The whole book is an odd exercise in pointless failure. Even as a kid who uncritically devoured SW stuff I didn't think it was very good.

Arquinsiel
Jun 1, 2006

"There is no such thing as society. There are individual men and women, and there are families. And no government can do anything except through people, and people must look to themselves first."

God Bless Margaret Thatcher
God Bless England
RIP My Iron Lady


Dawgstar posted:

The whole book is an odd exercise in pointless failure. Even as a kid who uncritically devoured SW stuff I didn't think it was very good.
I remember closing it and thinking "why bother?". It was a real bad book.

Old Kentucky Shark
May 25, 2012

If you think you're gonna get sympathy from the shark, well then, you won't.



fartknocker posted:

Yes, it was the original Darksaber from the crappy book of the same name. It was basically just the super laser without anything else attached to it, built on the cheap by some hive minded... rodent monkey alien things? And it was full of problems and basically blew up the first time they tried to actually use it.

The absolutely wild thing is how many times they went back to that well. You've got the Eclipse (What if the Death Star, but a Star Destroyer?), the Tarkin (What if the Death Star, but just the laser and shields), the Darksaber (what if the Death Star, but just the laser and also libertarianism), Starkiller Base (what if the Death Star, but like, literal stars?), the superlaser seige cannon (What if the Death Star, but tiny and used to open doors?), and finally the Xyston-class star destroyer (What if the Death Star but a Star Destroyer times 1000 because I am literally a six year old child?).

Just say no to Death Stars.

Old Kentucky Shark fucked around with this message at 16:50 on Feb 22, 2021

nine-gear crow
Aug 10, 2013

low vis




Hello, my name is Jeffrey Jacob Abrams, and I donít know how to write a Star Wars story without a Death Star in it.

Killer robot
Sep 6, 2010

I was having the most wonderful dream. I think you were in it!


Pillbug

fartknocker posted:

Yes, it was the original Darksaber from the crappy book of the same name. It was basically just the super laser without anything else attached to it, built on the cheap by some hive minded... rodent monkey alien things? And it was full of problems and basically blew up the first time they tried to actually use it.

Was that the one that was incompetently piloted by committee, or was that another one? I just know the book that made my interest in the EU drop sharply involved a stripped down Death Star superlaser and an author who had clearly been deeply hurt by a bunch of pencil pushers at some point, but it was a long time ago now.

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

One Potato to rule them all,
One Potato to find them,
One Potato to bring them all
And in the darkness bind them.





Bread Liar

Which was the one with the tiny one-person craft shaped like a snow cone and capable of killing stars?


EDIT: Suncrusher.

fartknocker
Oct 28, 2012

Damn it, this always happens. I think I'm gonna score, and then I never score. It's not fair.




Wedge Regret

Killer robot posted:

Was that the one that was incompetently piloted by committee, or was that another one? I just know the book that made my interest in the EU drop sharply involved a stripped down Death Star superlaser and an author who had clearly been deeply hurt by a bunch of pencil pushers at some point, but it was a long time ago now.

Same author, Kevin J. Anderson, but a different book series. The thing with the committee were the researchers and science team at the Maw with the prototype Death Star in the Jedi Academy books, I think specifically the third one, Champions of the Force. When everything there goes sideways and a giant battle erupted, the various scientists who'd been isolated from the rest of the galaxy for a decade (Since Tarkin took the original Death Star) ended up in control of the shell that was the prototype, which I think got partially blown up and then sucked into one of the black holes of the Maw.

Constantly going back to the Death Star/superweapon well is usually a sign of the weaker EU books. I'm one who didn't mind the Sun Crusher in the Jedi Academy trilogy, as IIRC that was the first time the EU tried something like that so it wasn't horribly run into the ground yet, but then you get all the other wacky stuff after it that shows up once and gets blown up, such as everything in the Callista trilogy (Of which Darksaber is the second book).

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Vinylshadow
Mar 20, 2017


"What if Death Star, but ten times bigger.?"

"I gotchu covered, fam."

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