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Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

WWE Champions - Click for pictures/details etc.

Raw: WWE Champion Drew McIntyre | Raw Women's Champion Asuka | United States Champion Bobby Lashley | Tag Champions The New Day | Women’s Tag Champions Shayna Baszler & Nia Jax | 24/7 Champion Drew Gulak
Smackdown: Universal Champion Roman Reigns | Women’s Champion Sasha Banks | Intercontinental Champion Sami Zayn | Tag Champions The Street Profits | Women’s Tag Champions Shayna Baszler & Nia Jax
NXT: NXT Champion Finn Bálor | Women’s Champion Io Shirai | NXT North American Champion Leon Ruff | Cruiserweight Champion Jordan Devlin | Tag Champions Oney Lorcan & Danny Burch
NXT UK: UK Champion WALTER | Women’s Champion Kay Lee Ray | Tag Team Champions Gallus
____________________________

Prior Discussion Threads for 2020:
January | February | March | April | May | June | July | August | September | October |

My Favorite WWE Related Posts for 2020:
January | February | March | April | May | June | July | August | September | October | November |
____________________________

November Results:
Raw 11/2 | NXT 11/4 | Smackdown 11/6 | Raw 11/9 | NXT 11/11 | Smackdown 11/13 | Raw 11/16 | NXT 11/18 | Smackdown 11/20 | Survivor Series 11/22 | Raw Results 11/23 | NXT 11/25 | Smackdown 11/27 | Raw 11/30

WWE In October:
  • WWE used body doubles (with different hair color and in one case, race) for their remote commentators at NXT's Takeover event.
  • Finn Balor broke his jaw at Takeover, but hasn't yet been stripped off the title though he hasn't yet returned.
  • Literal white supremacist Lars Sullivan returned to active competition, and almost immediately got outed for being a sex pest (in addition to the homophobia and racism WWE already knew about).
  • WWE held a draft out of nowhere that only included Raw and Smackdown (NXT was initially supposed to be in it, then just wasn't) then proceeded to run shows for three more weeks before the draft "came into effect" rendering the entire thing pointless.
  • A bunch of wrestlers got split up pointlessly during the draft, including The New Day and Heavy Machinery. The Raw and Smackdown tag champions were drafted to different brands and literally just swapped belts during a backstage segment.
  • The draft effectively created the exact same rosters as 2016, just with the brands swapped around.
  • Lana is being put through a table almost every week by Nia Jax, perhaps at first as "punishment" for having a husband who got another job AFTER WWE FIRED HIM DURING A GLOBAL PANDEMIC but now probably because it's become a running joke Vince McMahon has forgotten the origin of.
  • Shane McMahon's weird and pointless and never explained fight club of Raw Underground just... stopped existing.
  • Shortly after WWE crowed about being given (possibly fake or paid-for) awards for their superb handling of the COVID-19 pandemic (literally the first time they have mentioned it by name since the pandemic started), WWE were reported as being investigated by the Orange County Department of Health for their terrible handling of the COVID-19 pandemic.
  • There was yet another outbreak of COVID cases at NXT, supposedly one of the trainers got infected.
  • WWE are making all the fans attending live shows take COVID tests... the day before they attend the events. They are then free to go out to bars, clubs and other events to get potentially infected before returning the next day where they are still considered negative.
  • Pat McAfee returned to NXT, masterminding Oney Lorcan and Danny Burch outsmarting The Undisputed Era to get their title shot against Breezango and win the tag titles. Pete Dunne also returned and attacked Kyle O'Reilly, though he seems less aligned with McAfee and more just remembered that he and TUE were enemies.
  • Otis lost his Money in the Bank briefcase to The Miz when Tucker - now on a different brand - attacked him. Tucker was promptly added back to the Smackdown roster page. He was then promptly added back to the Raw roster page.
  • Sasha Banks defeated Bayley at Hell in a Cell in one of the two best WWE matches of the month, becoming the new Smackdown Women's Champion.
  • WALTER defeated Ilja Dragunov on NXT UK in one of the two best WWE matches of the month, retaining the NXT United Kingdom Championship.
  • Daniel Bryan returned to live wrestling action on Smackdown in the back half of the month. Unadvertised. He also lost his first singles match.
  • Jey Uso failed to defeat Roman Reigns for the Universal Championship at Hell in a Cell, and eventually accepted Reigns as the Tribal Chief due to <SCENE MISSING>.
  • Drew McIntyre's WWE Championship reign ended with a loss to... Randy Orton :geno:
  • Retribution have somehow managed to lose every single match they've had so far. They're now led by Mustafa Ali, who just casually admitted he was the Smackdown Hacker, a story that never had any resolution... or second act.
  • Literal accused rapist Matt Riddle is now simply being called Riddle. Apparently this was because WWE don't want the lawsuit against him for rape coming up in a Google search. They're happy to keep him employed though!
  • Chad Gable declared he was no longer going to go by the Shorty G name. WWE scripted him to cut a promo about how stupid and dumb the name and gimmick was... a name and gimmick that they scripted for him.
  • Netflix are making a multi-part Vince McMahon documentary. Before you get excited, the documentary has WWE's blessing and support, meaning it is likely to be a puff piece.
  • NXT held a "Halloween Havoc" event that was extremely well received. Johnny Gargano defeated Damian Priest to become NXT North American Champion. This had nothing to do with Ghostface from the Scream movies. It didn't concern him.
  • NXT's Halloween Havoc had a rare total viewers win over AEW Dynamite.
  • Aalyah Mysterio has decided she loves Buddy Murphy.
  • Keith Lee's win/loss record since coming to the main roster is basically 50/50.
  • Elias released a really bad album. He's also feuding with Jeff Hardy.
  • Finally, but perhaps the biggest story of this month: Vince McMahon went ahead with his baffling plan to shut down the Twitch and Cameo accounts of contracted talent, informing them that these services would be replaced by a third party deal at some later point and that WWE will keep all the money generated and pay a portion out of what is earned by the talent... out of their downside guarantee. Wrestlers kicked up a stink about this but all rolled over and meekly accepted it come the deadline, with the exception (so far) of Paige who basically told WWE to go gently caress themselves. At this point, NXT talent do not appear to be part of this deal and have been allowed to keep their Twitch accounts at least.
____________________________

Thread title:

Cerebral Bore posted:

Everything WWE does is simply the panicked flailing of a decrepit old giant that's starting to suspect that it's time is running out.
____________________________

Jerusalem fucked around with this message at 05:00 on Dec 1, 2020

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Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

Reserved for my favorite WWE-related posts for November, 2020:

quote:

Raskolnikov38 posted:

Two gin-scented tears trickled down the sides of his nose. But it was all right, everything was all right, the struggle was finished. He had won the victory over himself. He did want Sheamus.

jesus WEP posted:

i was saying boo-rogue kick

Orange Carlisle posted:

I just looked to see if Vince had ever actually had facial hair and lol



Lamuella posted:

You work 16 matches and whadaya get?
A three minute loss airing on Main Event
You tear up your contract and head to the street
But Vince has you in a five year no-compete

Incessant Excess posted:

its friday im ready for the head of the gable ah yessir






quote:

Digital Jedi posted:

What was the purpose of all of old people coming to ring?


Dimebags Brain posted:

Your pay-off to Lana getting put through a table every show for two months: https://streamable.com/ij5yw7


Golden Bee posted:

WWE staff don’t work for exposure. They get it for free

Lid posted:

He had won the greatest victory, the one over himself.

He was just happy to be here.



Ziggy Tzardust posted:

Extremely big lol if Zelina Vega ends up doing more for wrestling labour rights by refusing to give up her twitch than David Starr managed in his whole scumbag life


quote:

oh but seriously I posted:

Tugging at the tail of organised crime syndicates seems unwise to me, personally

Barry Bluejeans posted:

Vince has never been disposed towards respecting his competition

Eat My Fuc posted:

Man I think after like 25 or so odd years i’m done with WWE. Been a subscriber since day one in 2013/14? it’s cancelled. Yes hope Bryan and Reigns and Andrade all the women leave. I don’t give a poo poo about anyone else they have.

I probably won’t be in WWE threads anymore because I don’t feel it’s worth my time to hate post/ hate watch/ etc. It’s not even funny it’s just a bad “product” and I loving hate describing art as product, but WWE doesn’t make art even on accident anymore.

You ran me off Vince, you stupid, talentless, punk rear end dork with no taste, talent or ambition. You own the legacy of pro wrestling by accident, in the same way your success was purely accident, born into wealth with just enough snake like rear end kissing mentality to weasel your way into your daddies sphere. Artless, gutless, boring heathen, may your afterlife be damned, brittle, and hot hot hot.

I hope this is my last WWE post!

Love to the community here ya’ll are nice.

quote:

Lamuella posted:

You cannot convince me that Smackdown is a real show.

a cyborg mug posted:

It is real. Real bad




Pylons posted:

quote:

WWE came under heavy fire of for their lack of COVID-19 testing in the initial stages, and we've heard a story related to that coming out of the AEW PPV this weekend. When discussing AEW COVID protocols with several AEW names, several told us that WWE stars visiting All Elite Wrestling for Double or Nothing in May actually claimed they got their first coronavirus tests from AEW the weekend of Double or Nothing, because otherwise they weren't permitted at the events or functions. Even after there were positive tests within WWE months prior, the company didn't do testing along the way until Mid-June.

quote:

fatherofmustard posted:

Trump is the first WWE hall of famer to lose a presidential election.


quote:

JT Smiley posted:

Just checking in to see how that Big E singles push is going.

flatluigi posted:

https://www.cagesideseats.com/2020/11/7/21553798/rumor-roundup-nov-7-2020-roman-reigns-plans-wwe-title-changes-big-e-chad-gable

"It was noted in the Wrestling Observer Newsletter that Big E and Chad Gable missing SmackDown this past week was because creative just didn’t have anything for them."

forkboy84 posted:

WWE and collaborating are sure words that fit well together.


KungFu Grip posted:

we are getting closer and closer to Alexa becoming The GirlFiend

Sugar Blaster posted:

The First Annual Montgomery Burns Award For Outstanding Achievement And Critical Acclaim In The WWE Thunderdome

Jerusalem fucked around with this message at 01:58 on Dec 1, 2020

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

Sorry about the cut-off thread title, I am way too used to being able to just fix these errors myself, sorry :doh:

I've asked Junpei to fix it when they get a chance.

ItohRespectArmy
Sep 11, 2019

Cutest In The World, Six Time DDT Ironheavymetalweight champion, Two Time International Princess champion, winner of two tournaments, a Princess Tag Team champion, And a pretty good singer too!
"When I was an idol, I felt nothing every day but now that I'm a pro wrestler I'm in pain constantly!"

ground floor of the WWE thread to say

gently caress WWE, all my homies hate WWE.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

WWEDisrespectArmy :hai:

Hirez
Feb 3, 2003

Weber scored 49 points?

:allears: :allears: :allears:

Grendels Dad posted:

Ali are you ok?
Ali are you ok?
Are you ok Ali?

You've been hit by
You've been struck by
A smooth slapjack

Amp
Sep 10, 2010

:11tea::bubblewoop::agesilaus::megaman::yoshi::squawk::supaburn::iit::spooky::axe::honked::shroom::smugdog::sg::pkmnwhy::parrot::screamy::tubular::corsair::sanix::yeeclaw::hayter::flip::redflag:
Hmmm I see the forums were not as generous as the USA network as to give you an overrun

Quantum of Phallus
Dec 27, 2010

*its time

Arbite
Nov 4, 2009





Jerusalem posted:

Sorry about the cut-off thread title, I am way too used to being able to just fix these errors myself, sorry :doh:

I've asked Junpei to fix it when they get a chance.

Maybe just change it to "suspect its time is nigh." That would fit.

Benne
Sep 2, 2011

STOP DOING HEROIN
I'm gonna do the rare thing and put over a WWE match, because WALTER/Ilja is a loving masterpiece and you absolutely have to watch it (there are ways to see it without giving Vince money but I'll stay away from :filez: posting).

First off, you don't need to know any complex backstory or watch a dozen NXT UK episodes to know their storyline or motivations -- I never watched NXT UK because duh, but the entire story is told right there in the ring, you can instantly "get it" even before the bell rings. WALTER is at peak Final Boss form here, and if you've seen him on the Brit/Euro scene before NXT UK, you know that Final Boss WALTER is the loving scariest monster in wrestling. On the other side, Ilja's performance is an absolute masterclass -- they should show this in wrestling schools as the perfect version of a fiery underdog babyface. And the match itself is like nothing we've seen in a WWE ring in years, maybe ever -- just beating the tar poo poo out of each other and escalating brutal violence like a 90s All Japan main event. Combine that physical stuff with both guys playing their roles to perfection, and it's just loving incredible, an instant classic nobody saw coming.

It's mostly a joke that Vince doesn't give a poo poo about NXT UK, but even then, I'm still shocked that they got away with it. And they could end up stealing Match of the Year, it's really that good.

Benne fucked around with this message at 14:14 on Nov 1, 2020

boxcarhobo
Jun 23, 2005

ItohRespectArmy posted:

ground floor of the WWE thread to say

gently caress WWE, all my homies hate WWE.

:hai:

Dacap
Jul 8, 2008

I've been involved in a number of cults, both as a leader and a follower.

You have more fun as a follower. But you make more money as a leader.



Wait, did they actually drop Matt Riddle’s first name? Was that this week?

(Also, gently caress that guy)

boxcarhobo
Jun 23, 2005

Dacap posted:

Wait, did they actually drop Matt Riddle’s first name? Was that this week?

(Also, gently caress that guy)

yes, yes, and yea

The Croc
Dec 19, 2004

A-well-a everybody's heard about the bird!

OH YEAH!



Dacap posted:

Wait, did they actually drop Matt Riddle’s first name? Was that this week?

(Also, gently caress that guy)

Yes they changed his name because they didn't want people to google matt riddle and have all the lawsuit stuff show up.

Ganso Bomb
Oct 24, 2005

turn it all around

Jerusalem posted:

Sorry about the cut-off thread title, I am way too used to being able to just fix these errors myself, sorry :doh:

I've asked Junpei to fix it when they get a chance.

I dunno, it kind of makes sense that a thread title about time running out ran out of space and was cut off prematurely.

Molestationary Store
May 21, 2007

Man, what a disgustingly evil company.

21 Hoot Salute
Feb 8, 2005

Night-time, turn around
Lonely is the city tonight
Night-time, all around
Lonely in the city tonight



I like the thread title as is, has an ironic twist to it :colbert:

Junpei Hyde
Mar 15, 2013




Yeah no I like this title

Golden Bee
Dec 24, 2009

I came here to chew bubblegum and quote 'They Live', and I'm... at an impasse.
Also we’re just posting slapjack because it’s illegal to post Tane.

Golden Bee
Dec 24, 2009

I came here to chew bubblegum and quote 'They Live', and I'm... at an impasse.
Fandangoo.

esperantinc
May 5, 2003

JERRY! HELLO!

The Croc posted:

Yes they changed his name because they didn't want people to google matt riddle and have all the lawsuit stuff show up.

The best part about this is that if you search for just "riddle" you get results about....riddles. Adding "wwe" or "wrestler" to that search gets you results about how they changed the name to avoid people finding the lawsuit against him.

ICR
Dec 31, 2008

New name. New man. New beginnings. No problems. It’s simple. Matt Riddle, yeah he’s a poo poo human being.

But Riddle, he is different. He has no skeletons in the closet.

KungFu Grip
Jun 18, 2008

They never followed up on Gable killing the Shorty G name.

J-ru the OP says last month was September

Gumball Gumption
Jan 7, 2012

KungFu Grip posted:

They never followed up on Gable killing the Shorty G name.

J-ru the OP says last month was September

Vince probably thinks there is nothing to follow up on and the point of the segment was to make him a short quitter, so an even bigger loser.

Spiderdrake
May 12, 2001



Is the men's SDL team done? I assumed Chad would be pinned by Lars for the spot

and then pinned again, and again, and then sometime in 2021 he gets a win. This is how you make a face, you see.

Gaz-L
Jan 28, 2009
Well they're running that angle with Daniel Bryan, you see. (I assume this week's Smackdown is somehow building to him facing Reigns at the PPV)

Golden Bee
Dec 24, 2009

I came here to chew bubblegum and quote 'They Live', and I'm... at an impasse.
Add a G from Shorty G. Make the pest wrestle as griddle.

DogsInSpace!
Sep 11, 2001


Fun Shoe

Golden Bee posted:

Add a G from Shorty G. Make the pest wrestle as griddle.

Add a Mc to the Griddle so he captures the “late night drunken mistake you make thinking he’s cool and instead you only get indigestion and regret.”

Neodoomium
Jun 20, 2001

You are now hearing this
noise in your head.



Paying the talent out of their downside for their streaming activity absolutely makes it sound like it will be compulsory when they restart it, which is definitely my idea of a good time.

pressedbunny
May 31, 2007

To A Brand New Galaxy
Nothing goes down better on Twitch than dead-eyed drones clocking in the hours.

Neodoomium
Jun 20, 2001

You are now hearing this
noise in your head.



Add in some corporate synergy wherein they are all forced to play the newest shitass EA game with microtransactions and feign excitement and :chefskiss:

BrigadierSensible
Feb 16, 2012

I've got a pocket full of cheese🧀, and a garden full of trees🌴.

On the Riddle thing, you guys have it all wrong. He just likes to have fun bro. And what could be more fun than losing one of your names?

the_Vandal
Feb 7, 2004

You make me wanna cry
You make me wanna die
I love you, I love you, I love you,
I love you, I love you
Night Man
Riddle me this, Batman. What's white and wrestle's against women without their consent?

CobiWann
Oct 21, 2009

Have fun!

the_Vandal posted:

Riddle me this, Batman. What's white and wrestle's against women without their consent?

Could you be more specific?

Sadly, you could be more specific. :smith:

the_Vandal
Feb 7, 2004

You make me wanna cry
You make me wanna die
I love you, I love you, I love you,
I love you, I love you
Night Man

CobiWann posted:

Could you be more specific?

Sadly, you could be more specific. :smith:


Sadly I could be more specific and it would still not narrow it down :(

Quantum of Phallus
Dec 27, 2010

the_Vandal posted:

Riddle me this, Batman. What's white and wrestle's against women without their consent?

*smirks*

heh, the entire of BritWres

the escape goat
Apr 16, 2008

What a week it's been.
So much to talk about.
And so many things we can't talk about.

Benne posted:

I'm gonna do the rare thing and put over a WWE match, because WALTER/Ilja is a loving masterpiece and you absolutely have to watch it (there are ways to see it without giving Vince money but I'll stay away from :filez: posting).

First off, you don't need to know any complex backstory or watch a dozen NXT UK episodes to know their storyline or motivations -- I never watched NXT UK because duh, but the entire story is told right there in the ring, you can instantly "get it" even before the bell rings. WALTER is at peak Final Boss form here, and if you've seen him on the Brit/Euro scene before NXT UK, you know that Final Boss WALTER is the loving scariest monster in wrestling. On the other side, Ilja's performance is an absolute masterclass -- they should show this in wrestling schools as the perfect version of a fiery underdog babyface. And the match itself is like nothing we've seen in a WWE ring in years, maybe ever -- just beating the tar poo poo out of each other and escalating brutal violence like a 90s All Japan main event. Combine that physical stuff with both guys playing their roles to perfection, and it's just loving incredible, an instant classic nobody saw coming.

My boyfriend and I watched this earlier; he was surprised I broke my “no WWE” stance and we both pretty much had a :stare: reaction for the full 25+ minute match. It absolutely RIPPED and is worth a look.

Cavauro
Jan 9, 2008

i liked when the guy stopped, turned around, ran to the ropes to do a 619, did a discus move after that, then stopped to make sure his clothesline would hit correctly and hit a big clothesline. it was comedic and i highly recommend the funny match. by the way i am just fooling around and taking the piss

Nipponophile
Apr 8, 2009

Neodoomium posted:

Add in some corporate synergy wherein they are all forced to play the newest shitass EA game with microtransactions and feign excitement and :chefskiss:

They all play Madden every year already.

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KungFu Grip
Jun 18, 2008

Cavauro posted:

i liked when the guy stopped, turned around, ran to the ropes to do a 619, did a discus move after that, then stopped to make sure his clothesline would hit correctly and hit a big clothesline. it was comedic and i highly recommend the funny match. by the way i am just fooling around and taking the piss

I think that's maybe one of the dumber things Ilja does but I at least thought this one was better than the ones I saw him do against Finn Balor and Cesaro

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