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Update: HGB has MADE THE BURRITOHugeGrossBurrito posted:The making of the huge gross burrito, you can hear me breathing heavily at the end because I inhaled oyster fumes and was trying not to vomit lol Moderator HugeGrossBurrito has agreed that in the event of a Biden victory, he will eat a "Huge Gross Burrito". It has to be physically edible, and with ingredients he can get in a normal grocery store. Now let's get some definitions out of the way. Huge: This burrito gotta be big. How big must it be to classify as huge? I'd say minimum a foot long here, but I've seen some big burritos so let's not limit ourselves. Gross: I think the majority must agree that the burrito is gross. This is where creativity goes a long way. I've got some ideas. Burrito: Now we get to the controversial segment of burrito design. What is a burrito? I'd say for the sake of this, it's gotta be wrapped in a flatbread, preferably a tortilla, with a mix of fillings. They should be all mixed together so he doesn't get a big pocket of something at the end.  Suggestions are open. Components (to be expanded) Tortilla: Protein:Smoked Oysters (mashed and spread) Filling:Marshmallow Fluff Filling 2:Chickpeas soaked in glorious golden juices  Filling 3: Salsa (thats spanish for sauce): Aardvark! fucked around with this message at 22:59 on Nov 21, 2020 |
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Nov 5, 2020 22:10
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Why stop at one protein
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Nov 5, 2020 22:10
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Fish sauce as salsa.
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Nov 5, 2020 22:11
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OhsH posted:Why stop at one protein thats just a starting template, making sure we get the minimums in for burrito status.
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Nov 5, 2020 22:12
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regular gas station burrito left on a radiator for two days
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Nov 5, 2020 22:14
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First off, I think beans are a foundational part of any burrito. To that end, I think we need to select a type of dried bean, and a liquid for it to soak/cook it in.
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Nov 5, 2020 22:15
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TheAardvark posted:First off, I think beans are a foundational part of any burrito. To that end, I think we need to select a type of dried bean, and a liquid for it to soak/cook it in. lima beans soaked in some nice cottage cheese?
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Nov 5, 2020 22:16
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Tortilla: Corn, left out on the counter for a day so it crumbles and is a huge hassle. UTENSILS NOT ALLOWED Protein: Tilapia and headcheese. Sub bologna scraps if not available. Filling: Marshmallow fluff Filling 2: Wasabi peas Filling 3: The cheapest coffee grounds available Salsa (thats spanish for sauce): Mix together equal parts prepared Crystal Lite (flavor is eater's choice), apricot marmalade and thai peanut sauce. Reduce until it coats the back of a spoon and leaves a trail in the pan. Serve on a bed of flayed eggplant and oyster sauce.
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Nov 5, 2020 22:16
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the protein should be cat food
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Nov 5, 2020 22:17
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Tortilla: flour Protein: cold hot dogs Filling: kimchi Filling 2: cottage cheese Filling 3: dried bananas (for texture) Salsa (thats spanish for sauce): hollandaise
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Nov 5, 2020 22:17
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maybe mint jelly as a sauce? the idea of that stuff always seemed gross to me
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Nov 5, 2020 22:19
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TheAardvark posted:First off, I think beans are a foundational part of any burrito. To that end, I think we need to select a type of dried bean, and a liquid for it to soak/cook it in. I'm gonna go with dried garbanzos, since "chick peas" are probably appropriate given our very wet, presidential President. As for soaking liquid? Since HGB has said it needs to be easily sourced (and that rules out genuine Russian hooker pee), I'm gonna go with everyone's gradeschool stand-in: Apple juice.
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Nov 5, 2020 22:20
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Make sure to cry some stress tears into that thing while you’re making it.
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Nov 5, 2020 22:20
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For salsa it should be that white gravy they put on Swedish meatballs at ikea, also one of the ingredients should be a fine cut of high-grade ahi tuna and/or marshmallow fluff
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Nov 5, 2020 22:21
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Inzombiac posted:Tortilla: Corn, left out on the counter for a day so it crumbles and is a huge hassle. UTENSILS NOT ALLOWED 
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Nov 5, 2020 22:22
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Two votes for Marshmallow fluff  Also like the chickpeas, definitely the most suitable bean for this imo
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Nov 5, 2020 22:22
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In honour of the outgoing potus I propose we add a healthy handful of Cheetos (crushed, like his reelection campaign).
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Nov 5, 2020 22:23
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Yall are monsters and i feel bad for hgb
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Nov 5, 2020 22:25
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bacon grease drizzle e: if this is too high effort, maple syrup drizzle. Polio Vax Scene fucked around with this message at 22:28 on Nov 5, 2020 |
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Nov 5, 2020 22:25
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I also like the idea of marshmallow fluff and chickpeas
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Nov 5, 2020 22:25
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the marshmallow fluff is just a haute cuisine take on sour cream, if you think about it.
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Nov 5, 2020 22:27
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I’ll make sure to order anything I don’t have ASAP.
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Nov 5, 2020 22:27
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Important question- any foods that give HGB nightmare has? I propose this burrito should not just be gross, it should make the eater positively disgusting as well.
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Nov 5, 2020 22:27
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Also I can make the tortillas from scratch should you want to include anything horrible in that.
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Nov 5, 2020 22:28
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Cover the whole thing in cbd oil
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Nov 5, 2020 22:29
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HugeGrossBurrito posted:Also I can make the tortillas from scratch should you want to include anything horrible in that. Corn. But not actual corn- candy corn bits in the tortilla.
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Nov 5, 2020 22:29
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Lieutenant Dan posted:Cover the whole thing in cbd oil That you’ll have to send me lol that shits expensive
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Nov 5, 2020 22:29
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TheAardvark posted:Components (to be expanded)
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Nov 5, 2020 22:30
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gross dessert burrito Tortilla: fruit rollups stuck together to make a large 12inch roll-up Protein: honey roasted ham from a generic deli meat pack (wet and stinky) Filling: mini marshmallows after they have been left out on the counter for two days Filling 2: a pack of Big Red Filling 3: nature valley granola bars kept as whole as possible Salsa (thats spanish for sauce): hot butterscotch sauce
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Nov 5, 2020 22:31
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two pounds of plain white rice in a large tortilla, done
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Nov 5, 2020 22:31
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Fermented pickles are delicious but I’ve never had cornsmut before
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Nov 5, 2020 22:32
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Waterbed Wendy posted:gross dessert burrito Lol is there big red flavoring I don’t think I should eat gum
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Nov 5, 2020 22:33
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Lutefisk? Dorian fruit? Def keep the marshmallow fluff. Edit: OH poo poo: Circus peanuts. Howard The Dork fucked around with this message at 22:37 on Nov 5, 2020 |
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Nov 5, 2020 22:33
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HugeGrossBurrito posted:That you’ll have to send me lol that shits expensive If this burrito by chance actually happens I will personally mail you a bottle of extra virgin olive cbd oil infused with whatever the thread decides is most appropriate
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Nov 5, 2020 22:33
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HugeGrossBurrito posted:Lol is there big red flavoring I don’t think I should eat gum Those little red hots candy things taste the same.
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Nov 5, 2020 22:34
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Cum is a sauce if you think about it and hgb does t have to pay for it
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Nov 5, 2020 22:34
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I figured I’d be ordering lutefisk lol. I really like Dorian fruit though.
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Nov 5, 2020 22:34
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i think protein wise we should be fair and do a mix air: land: sea:
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Nov 5, 2020 22:35
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HugeGrossBurrito posted:That you’ll have to send me lol that shits expensive If you live in Canada I will send you enough to make you wake up in 2022. You def have to make a gigantic tortilla for this though
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Nov 5, 2020 22:36
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| # ? Feb 28, 2021 22:18 |
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Tortilla: gluten-free, preferably chick-pea/garbanzo based but anything else is fine Protein: two poached eggs that have been cooked for as long as a hardboiled egg Filling: the first vegan ready-meal item you see in the store, mashed into a paste Filling 2: homemade mayonnaise but the oil MUST be sourced from a can of sardines in oil - sardines may be optionally added for a moral gold star Filling 3: fresh mint - if unavailable, use 1 teaspoon dried Salsa (thats spanish for sauce): the cheapest can of mushroom based condensed soup you can find, thinned to your preferred consistency with the liquid from a jar of pickled jalapenos. Pyrotoad fucked around with this message at 22:39 on Nov 5, 2020 |
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Nov 5, 2020 22:36
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