Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Post
  • Reply
Aardvark!
Mar 3, 2002


Update: HGB has MADE THE BURRITO

HugeGrossBurrito posted:

The making of the huge gross burrito, you can hear me breathing heavily at the end because I inhaled oyster fumes and was trying not to vomit lol
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jgccI_OOseg&feature=youtu.be

Sorry about the vertical filming the wife was too shocked by what was going on to remember but the eating will be horizonal video

Moderator HugeGrossBurrito has agreed that in the event of a Biden victory, he will eat a "Huge Gross Burrito". It has to be physically edible, and with ingredients he can get in a normal grocery store.

Now let's get some definitions out of the way.

Huge: This burrito gotta be big. How big must it be to classify as huge? I'd say minimum a foot long here, but I've seen some big burritos so let's not limit ourselves.

Gross: I think the majority must agree that the burrito is gross. This is where creativity goes a long way. I've got some ideas.

Burrito: Now we get to the controversial segment of burrito design. What is a burrito? I'd say for the sake of this, it's gotta be wrapped in a flatbread, preferably a tortilla, with a mix of fillings. They should be all mixed together so he doesn't get a big pocket of something at the end.

Suggestions are open.

Components (to be expanded)

Tortilla:
Protein:Smoked Oysters (mashed and spread)
Filling:Marshmallow Fluff
Filling 2:Chickpeas soaked in glorious golden juices
Filling 3:
Salsa (thats spanish for sauce):

Aardvark! fucked around with this message at 22:59 on Nov 21, 2020

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

OhsH
Jan 12, 2008

SHUT THE FUCK UP ZAPHOD


Why stop at one protein

Mirrors
Oct 25, 2007


Fish sauce as salsa.

Aardvark!
Mar 3, 2002


OhsH posted:

Why stop at one protein

thats just a starting template, making sure we get the minimums in for burrito status.

Inexplicable Humblebrag
Sep 20, 2003



regular gas station burrito left on a radiator for two days

Aardvark!
Mar 3, 2002


First off, I think beans are a foundational part of any burrito. To that end, I think we need to select a type of dried bean, and a liquid for it to soak/cook it in.

Mozi
Apr 4, 2004


here he comes
and he's gone again


Nap Ghost

TheAardvark posted:

First off, I think beans are a foundational part of any burrito. To that end, I think we need to select a type of dried bean, and a liquid for it to soak/cook it in.

lima beans soaked in some nice cottage cheese?

Inzombiac
Mar 19, 2007

PARTY ALL NIGHT

EAT BRAINS ALL DAY


Tortilla: Corn, left out on the counter for a day so it crumbles and is a huge hassle. UTENSILS NOT ALLOWED
Protein: Tilapia and headcheese. Sub bologna scraps if not available.
Filling: Marshmallow fluff
Filling 2: Wasabi peas
Filling 3: The cheapest coffee grounds available
Salsa (thats spanish for sauce): Mix together equal parts prepared Crystal Lite (flavor is eater's choice), apricot marmalade and thai peanut sauce. Reduce until it coats the back of a spoon and leaves a trail in the pan.

Serve on a bed of flayed eggplant and oyster sauce.

Phony Horse
Oct 22, 2020



the protein should be cat food

PoorPeteBest
Oct 13, 2005

We're not hitchhiking anymore! We're riding!

Tortilla: flour
Protein: cold hot dogs
Filling: kimchi
Filling 2: cottage cheese
Filling 3: dried bananas (for texture)
Salsa (thats spanish for sauce): hollandaise

Phony Horse
Oct 22, 2020



maybe mint jelly as a sauce? the idea of that stuff always seemed gross to me

Althalin
Nov 19, 2019

Putting the ham in Chamon


Pork Pro

TheAardvark posted:

First off, I think beans are a foundational part of any burrito. To that end, I think we need to select a type of dried bean, and a liquid for it to soak/cook it in.

I'm gonna go with dried garbanzos, since "chick peas" are probably appropriate given our very wet, presidential President.

As for soaking liquid? Since HGB has said it needs to be easily sourced (and that rules out genuine Russian hooker pee), I'm gonna go with everyone's gradeschool stand-in: Apple juice.

Ugly In The Morning
Jul 1, 2010

Don't look at me-
I'm ugly in the morning
When the headaches gone
The sun is not.
Forgot to turn the alarm
On - on






Pillbug

Make sure to cry some stress tears into that thing while youíre making it.

Lieutenant Dan
Oct 27, 2009

Weedlord Bonerhitler


For salsa it should be that white gravy they put on Swedish meatballs at ikea, also one of the ingredients should be a fine cut of high-grade ahi tuna and/or marshmallow fluff

DickParasite
Dec 2, 2004




Slippery Tilde

Inzombiac posted:

Tortilla: Corn, left out on the counter for a day so it crumbles and is a huge hassle. UTENSILS NOT ALLOWED
Protein: Tilapia and headcheese. Sub bologna scraps if not available.
Filling: Marshmallow fluff
Filling 2: Wasabi peas
Filling 3: The cheapest coffee grounds available
Salsa (thats spanish for sauce): Mix together equal parts prepared Crystal Lite (flavor is eater's choice), apricot marmalade and thai peanut sauce. Reduce until it coats the back of a spoon and leaves a trail in the pan.

Serve on a bed of flayed eggplant and oyster sauce.

Aardvark!
Mar 3, 2002


Two votes for Marshmallow fluff

Also like the chickpeas, definitely the most suitable bean for this imo

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com


In honour of the outgoing potus I propose we add a healthy handful of Cheetos (crushed, like his reelection campaign).

OhsH
Jan 12, 2008

SHUT THE FUCK UP ZAPHOD


Yall are monsters and i feel bad for hgb

Polio Vax Scene
Apr 5, 2009




bacon grease drizzle

e: if this is too high effort, maple syrup drizzle.

Polio Vax Scene fucked around with this message at 22:28 on Nov 5, 2020

Phony Horse
Oct 22, 2020



I also like the idea of marshmallow fluff and chickpeas

Aardvark!
Mar 3, 2002


the marshmallow fluff is just a haute cuisine take on sour cream, if you think about it.

HugeGrossBurrito
Mar 20, 2018



Iíll make sure to order anything I donít have ASAP.

Ugly In The Morning
Jul 1, 2010

Don't look at me-
I'm ugly in the morning
When the headaches gone
The sun is not.
Forgot to turn the alarm
On - on






Pillbug

Important question- any foods that give HGB nightmare has? I propose this burrito should not just be gross, it should make the eater positively disgusting as well.

HugeGrossBurrito
Mar 20, 2018



Also I can make the tortillas from scratch should you want to include anything horrible in that.

Lieutenant Dan
Oct 27, 2009

Weedlord Bonerhitler


Cover the whole thing in cbd oil

Ugly In The Morning
Jul 1, 2010

Don't look at me-
I'm ugly in the morning
When the headaches gone
The sun is not.
Forgot to turn the alarm
On - on






Pillbug

HugeGrossBurrito posted:

Also I can make the tortillas from scratch should you want to include anything horrible in that.

Corn. But not actual corn- candy corn bits in the tortilla.

HugeGrossBurrito
Mar 20, 2018



Lieutenant Dan posted:

Cover the whole thing in cbd oil

That youíll have to send me lol that shits expensive

NoEyedSquareGuy
Mar 16, 2009

Just because Liquor's dead, doesn't mean you can just roll this bitch all over town with "The Freedoms."


TheAardvark posted:

Components (to be expanded)

Tortilla: Whole wheat tortillas
Protein: Spam
Filling: Huitlacoche
Filling 2: Diced cornuchon
Filling 3: Kale
Salsa (thats spanish for sauce): Hellman's mayonnaise

Waterbed Wendy
Jan 29, 2009

airy tender puffs



gross dessert burrito

Tortilla: fruit rollups stuck together to make a large 12inch roll-up
Protein: honey roasted ham from a generic deli meat pack (wet and stinky)
Filling: mini marshmallows after they have been left out on the counter for two days
Filling 2: a pack of Big Red
Filling 3: nature valley granola bars kept as whole as possible
Salsa (thats spanish for sauce): hot butterscotch sauce

Wall Balls
Jun 3, 2007

Spanish Castle Magic



two pounds of plain white rice in a large tortilla, done

HugeGrossBurrito
Mar 20, 2018



Fermented pickles are delicious but Iíve never had cornsmut before

HugeGrossBurrito
Mar 20, 2018



Waterbed Wendy posted:

gross dessert burrito

Tortilla: fruit rollups stuck together to make a large 12inch roll-up
Protein: honey roasted ham from a generic deli meat pack (wet and stinky)
Filling: mini marshmallows after they have been left out on the counter for two days
Filling 2: a pack of Big Red
Filling 3: nature valley granola bars kept as whole as possible
Salsa (thats spanish for sauce): hot butterscotch sauce

Lol is there big red flavoring I donít think I should eat gum

Howard The Dork
Mar 30, 2004

Look Ma! I caught a Fwaggle!

Lutefisk? Dorian fruit? Def keep the marshmallow fluff.


Edit:
OH poo poo: Circus peanuts.

Howard The Dork fucked around with this message at 22:37 on Nov 5, 2020

Lieutenant Dan
Oct 27, 2009

Weedlord Bonerhitler


HugeGrossBurrito posted:

That youíll have to send me lol that shits expensive

If this burrito by chance actually happens I will personally mail you a bottle of extra virgin olive cbd oil infused with whatever the thread decides is most appropriate

Ugly In The Morning
Jul 1, 2010

Don't look at me-
I'm ugly in the morning
When the headaches gone
The sun is not.
Forgot to turn the alarm
On - on






Pillbug

HugeGrossBurrito posted:

Lol is there big red flavoring I donít think I should eat gum

Those little red hots candy things taste the same.

Jose
Jul 24, 2007




Cum is a sauce if you think about it and hgb does t have to pay for it

HugeGrossBurrito
Mar 20, 2018



I figured Iíd be ordering lutefisk lol. I really like Dorian fruit though.

Aardvark!
Mar 3, 2002


i think protein wise we should be fair and do a mix

air:
land:
sea:

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com


HugeGrossBurrito posted:

That you’ll have to send me lol that shits expensive

If you live in Canada I will send you enough to make you wake up in 2022.

You def have to make a gigantic tortilla for this though

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Pyrotoad
Oct 24, 2010






Illegal Hen

Tortilla: gluten-free, preferably chick-pea/garbanzo based but anything else is fine
Protein: two poached eggs that have been cooked for as long as a hardboiled egg
Filling: the first vegan ready-meal item you see in the store, mashed into a paste
Filling 2: homemade mayonnaise but the oil MUST be sourced from a can of sardines in oil - sardines may be optionally added for a moral gold star
Filling 3: fresh mint - if unavailable, use 1 teaspoon dried
Salsa (thats spanish for sauce): the cheapest can of mushroom based condensed soup you can find, thinned to your preferred consistency with the liquid from a jar of pickled jalapenos.

Pyrotoad fucked around with this message at 22:39 on Nov 5, 2020

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • Post
  • Reply