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Jose
Jul 24, 2007




TheAardvark posted:

i think protein wise we should be fair and do a mix

air:
land:
sea:

Surstromming for sea

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Aruan
Nov 4, 2020



May I recommend a steak purchased from the dollar store?

HugeGrossBurrito
Mar 20, 2018



Jesus lutefisk is 50 dollars for the cheapest I can find, Iím a fuckin teacher come on lol

Lieutenant Dan
Oct 27, 2009

Weedlord Bonerhitler


air: locusts
land: beef tartare
sea: canned oysters


I agree with the goons who said lutefisk and circus peanuts, also

Aardvark!
Mar 3, 2002


Can you melt circus peanuts? Could that be used as a bean cooking liquid?

Ugly In The Morning
Jul 1, 2010

Don't look at me-
I'm ugly in the morning
When the headaches gone
The sun is not.
Forgot to turn the alarm
On - on






Pillbug

TheAardvark posted:

Can you melt circus peanuts? Could that be used as a bean cooking liquid?

The last time I tried they just deflated and burned.

Lieutenant Dan
Oct 27, 2009

Weedlord Bonerhitler


TheAardvark posted:

Can you melt circus peanuts? Could that be used as a bean cooking liquid?

If they can't be melted I propose we blitz the circus peanuts into a slurry with another liquid to soak the beans in

HugeGrossBurrito
Mar 20, 2018



Nordic fish may be out of my price range but bugs seem to be more affordable

Mozi
Apr 4, 2004


here he comes
and he's gone again


Nap Ghost

protein: circus peanuts

DeadFatDuckFat
Oct 29, 2012

This avatar brought to you by the 'save our dead gay forums' foundation.


Lieutenant Dan posted:

If they can't be melted I propose we blitz the circus peanuts into a slurry with another liquid to soak the beans in

HugeGrossBurrito posted:

Nordic fish may be out of my price range but bugs seem to be more affordable

So like a peanut-bean-cricket puree kinda thing via food processor?

Aardvark!
Mar 3, 2002


DeadFatDuckFat posted:

So like a peanut-bean-cricket puree kinda thing via food processor?

i think we're approaching human rights violations here

Inzombiac
Mar 19, 2007

PARTY ALL NIGHT

EAT BRAINS ALL DAY


HugeGrossBurrito posted:

Nordic fish may be out of my price range but bugs seem to be more affordable

I think crickets are legit good so I'd veto bugs. They're just land lobsters!

hemale in pain
Jun 5, 2010






Salad Prong

Spam+tuna for the meat
Iceberg lettuce for the salad
Chickpeas for the beans
Mayo+ketchup mixed together for the sauce

BrigadierSensible
Feb 16, 2012

Don't get my name wrong,
If you want to touch me there.

Natto is beans. So the burrito should have natto.

13Pandora13
Nov 5, 2008

I've got tiiits that swingle dangle dingle






I always assumed HGB's moniker was from this article.

Lieutenant Dan
Oct 27, 2009

Weedlord Bonerhitler


BrigadierSensible posted:

Natto is beans. So the burrito should have natto.

Holy poo poo, yes.

SLICK GOKU BABY
Jun 12, 2001

A Little Known FACT: Burger King's Bacon King is superior to the Baconator.


Tortilla: - Hot dog buns soaked in water (or maybe some other liquid?) so they can be smashed down and rolled into a tortilla like shape. Probably have to let the liquid dry out before making the burrito.
Protein: - We are going to stick to the hot dog theme and have hot dogs be the protein. And not good hot dogs, gotta be those cheap 99 cents / pack hot dogs.
Filling: - Coconut flakes
Filling 2: - Colored Sprinkles
Filling 3: - Guess you want some sort of beans. So lets go with some peanuts even though they are fake beans.
Salsa (thats spanish for sauce): - Chocolate sauce & ranch dressing salsa

HugeGrossBurrito
Mar 20, 2018



13Pandora13 posted:

I always assumed HGB's moniker was from this article.

I woke up with the phrase stuck in my head the day before I registered it lol.

dog nougat
Apr 8, 2009

Cawtion Ham


Tortilla: somehow make mustard, peanut butter, and buckwheat flour into a tortilla.

Protein: Cold hotdogs, the super cheap kind that are dyed red. Diced.

Filling: Capers: 1/3 cup

Filling 2: Peel of 4 oranges stewed in fish stock until super soft or whatever. Cut into strips.

Filling 3: Crushed Peppermint Discs: 10

Salsa (thats spanish for sauce): miracle whip thinned with dr pepper and cooked until a smooth, homogenous sauce. (Not sure if this part is possible)

bird with big dick
Oct 21, 2015




You can get cat litter at a grocery store and itís technically capable of being ingested.

DeadFatDuckFat
Oct 29, 2012

This avatar brought to you by the 'save our dead gay forums' foundation.


SLICK GOKU BABY posted:

Salsa (thats spanish for sauce): - Chocolate sauce & ranch dressing salsa

Jesus christ. Thinking about what that would taste like... gently caress...

isaboo
Nov 10, 2002

I can destroy you


Protein: TRUMP STEAKS

And whatever other lovely food can be bought from a Trump property

Aardvark!
Mar 3, 2002


All right lots of good suggestions so far, but we need to get some order in here to come up with the final thing. So let's focus for a moment:

Beans:
Bean soaking liquid (if dried):

I am leaning towards chickpeas as the most appropriate bean for a Trump burrito. Soaking liquid?

The Fuzzy Hulk
Nov 22, 2007

ASK ME ABOUT CROSSING THE STREAMS



Tortilla: rice paper
Protein: canned tuna
Filling: Folgers crystals
Filling 2: kimchi
Filling 3: watermellon
Salsa (thats spanish for sauce): Chocolate syrup

dog nougat
Apr 8, 2009

Cawtion Ham


Bakker Bucket Burrito

HugeGrossBurrito
Mar 20, 2018



bird with big dick posted:

You can get cat litter at a grocery store and itís technically capable of being ingested.

How could u do this to me

Ugly In The Morning
Jul 1, 2010

Don't look at me-
I'm ugly in the morning
When the headaches gone
The sun is not.
Forgot to turn the alarm
On - on






Pillbug

TheAardvark posted:

All right lots of good suggestions so far, but we need to get some order in here to come up with the final thing. So let's focus for a moment:

Beans:
Bean soaking liquid (if dried):

I am leaning towards chickpeas as the most appropriate bean for a Trump burrito. Soaking liquid?

I like the suggestion of apple juice as the olí pee stand in.

Althalin
Nov 19, 2019

Putting the ham in Chamon


Pork Pro

Ugly In The Morning posted:

The last time I tried they just deflated and burned.

...but why would you try that?

Waterbed Wendy
Jan 29, 2009

airy tender puffs



the beans in the dessert burrito should be those joke jelly beans that have farts and earwax mixed in

torgo
Aug 12, 2003




Fun Shoe

Tortilla:Two store brand pizza crusts.(you want huge this is how Freebirds makes a Super Monster, by using two large tortillas)
Protein:Beef Tripe, marinated in fajita seasoning
Filling:I heard marshmallow fluff mentioned multiple times
Filling 2:Raw Stovetop stuffing
Filling 3:Guacamole, but instead of avocado, use banana
Salsa (thats spanish for sauce):Worcestershire sauce

dog nougat
Apr 8, 2009

Cawtion Ham


TheAardvark posted:

All right lots of good suggestions so far, but we need to get some order in here to come up with the final thing. So let's focus for a moment:

Beans:
Bean soaking liquid (if dried):

I am leaning towards chickpeas as the most appropriate bean for a Trump burrito. Soaking liquid?

Malort

The beans are inconsequential at that point.

HugeGrossBurrito
Mar 20, 2018



dog nougat posted:

Malort

The beans are inconsequential at that point.

I have been trying to get Malort for years!

Lieutenant Dan
Oct 27, 2009

Weedlord Bonerhitler


Bean soaking liquid (if dried): Whole Milk + ???

DeadFatDuckFat
Oct 29, 2012

This avatar brought to you by the 'save our dead gay forums' foundation.


Lieutenant Dan posted:

Bean soaking liquid (if dried): Whole Milk + ???

Maybe soy milk instead, because of the whole soy boy thing

Ugly In The Morning
Jul 1, 2010

Don't look at me-
I'm ugly in the morning
When the headaches gone
The sun is not.
Forgot to turn the alarm
On - on






Pillbug

Althalin posted:

...but why would you try that?

I grew up in the middle of nowhere and my friends and I needed to kill time somehow. Seeing what things will melt was a safer diversion than our usual ďfill tennis balls with strike anywhere match headsĒ type stuff.

Lieutenant Dan
Oct 27, 2009

Weedlord Bonerhitler


DeadFatDuckFat posted:

Maybe soy milk instead, because of the whole soy boy thing

Good point, soy is also beans as well

dog nougat
Apr 8, 2009

Cawtion Ham


Beans: coffee beans
Bean soaking liquid (if dried): Cotton Candy Faygo

Knot My President!
Jan 10, 2005




Tortilla: Vietnamese rice paper


Protein: Broccoli

Filling: Baby carrots

Filling 2: baby corn

Filling 3 : Cherry tomatoes

Filling 4 : Sprouts

Filling 5 : Feta

Salsa (thats spanish for sauce):

LifeSunDeath
Jan 4, 2007

feet smell

Ricotta and hummus

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LifeSunDeath
Jan 4, 2007

feet smell

dog nougat posted:

Bakker Bucket Burrito

Goddamn, that's just cruel.

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