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mischief
Jun 3, 2003


I was digging through his post history like two hours ago making sure I hadn't missed the huge box/forgotten it.


About drat time.

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Cyrano4747
Sep 25, 2006



Log is literally a pile of birds in a trench coat.

Someone threw a blanket over the box and he forgot it existed.

Captain Log
Oct 2, 2006

Captain Log posted:

"I AINT DYING! Choo choo motherfucker!"




Cyrano4747 posted:

Log is literally a pile of birds in a trench coat.

Someone threw a blanket over the box and he forgot it existed.

Iíll have you know that THE BOX has become a valued part of my nighttime routine of forgetting itís in the hallway, then slamming into it while swearing in alarm.

Shima Honnou
Dec 1, 2010

The Once And Future King Of Dicetroit



College Slice

*slams fists on table* BOX! BOX! BOX!

mischief
Jun 3, 2003


Captain Log
Oct 2, 2006

Captain Log posted:

"I AINT DYING! Choo choo motherfucker!"




Package opening and pictures will occur tomorrow. On his way to early bed before a 4:00am shift, Pops said he wants to witness the unboxening.

Please donít be a dildo the size of my torso.

BeAuMaN
Feb 18, 2014

I'M A LEAD FARMER, MOTHERFUCKER!


Captain Log posted:

Please donít be a dildo the size of my torso.
But what if it's purple? And it has a bit of picatinny rail mount on it?

Captain Log
Oct 2, 2006

Captain Log posted:

"I AINT DYING! Choo choo motherfucker!"




BeAuMaN posted:

But what if it's purple? And it has a bit of picatinny rail mount on it?



Shima Honnou
Dec 1, 2010

The Once And Future King Of Dicetroit



College Slice

Without spoiling it there may be a purple phallic object somewhere in those. OR there may not be. Only time will tell.

Captain Log
Oct 2, 2006

Captain Log posted:

"I AINT DYING! Choo choo motherfucker!"




Time for giant box final guesses. By the afternoon tomorrow, it shall be revealed.



I am reasonably sure anything alive in there is now dead.

So help me if I get a face full of angry, starving bees.

Gray Stormy
Dec 19, 2006



My special boy should be expecting a delivery today. SUSPENSE AND INTRIGUE!

Somebody Awful
Nov 27, 2011

BORN TO DIE
HAIG IS A FUCK
Kill Em All 1917
I am trench man
410,757,864,530 SHELLS FIRED




Captain Log posted:

So help me if I get a face full of angry, starving bees.

What if you open it up and find a scruffy man in a bandana eating a python

Captain Log
Oct 2, 2006

Captain Log posted:

"I AINT DYING! Choo choo motherfucker!"




HOLY HELL!!!

My jaw is firmly resting on the floor.

Mods, please add "Santa" to the front of Shima's name. It's very, very appropriate.

Pictures Incoming!

(Box contents - Totally unexpected and amazing!!!)

ZebraBlade
Mar 26, 2010

Something is rotten in the state of Denmark

Show us the looooooot

tarlibone
Aug 1, 2014

Am I a... bad person?
AM I??





Fun Shoe

What's in the baaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwks????

Captain Log
Oct 2, 2006

Captain Log posted:

"I AINT DYING! Choo choo motherfucker!"




Part One - The Small Boxen'ing

This medium sized box arrived yesterday. This human sized box has been here for weeks.

If I was savvy enough to show you without posting an address, I would have a picture of a D20 stamped on the shipping label.

This can only be from one person - Shima. He was my Ralphie last year, too. I recognize the address of the King of Detroit.

I know he has a certain style, so I dug up a sword appropriate to the task.

A tulwar!



ACTIVATE!!!



In no particular order, TO THE LOOT!!! I'll go gun stuff first, then non-gun fun stuff. But the gun stuff is fun. Fun gun stuff, then non-gun still fun stuff.

(No exaggeration, I took forty something pictures BEFORE getting to the Mega Box. I'll condense as much as I can.)

A symbol from the heavens -



An AR Accessory! In Purple! According to the message in sharpie, this is a, "Silencer?" with a question mark. I bet I could throw this at an enemy without making a noise.



Joy! A G43 Mag labeled, "Brick." What could this mysterious Sanskrit after brick mean?



If the picture is correct, it's a motherfucking 590 fore-end! I think I did a little dance when I saw the diagram, because I wasn't entirely sure what I was holding. Y'all gonna have to help me figure out how to put this on my shotty. I tried holding it near the shotgun and yelling ACTIVATE, but no luck.



LCP Mag! A big one! My Ruger is going to be very, very happy to see this. Me too. Reloading it at the range is a pain in my bum.

This mag longer than the entire LCP, which makes is that much more awesome -



Holy hell, is this for a Barrett 50 cal? Nope! Shotgun! When I got Shima for Secret Santa last year, I sent him some muzzle devices that looked suspiciously similar. I think he fed steroids to one and sent it back. My Shotgun is going to look far more ready for the wastes.



More Magz! Two more! My LCP mag capacity has gone from two to five with the glorious contents of this package! The range is going to be so much less fiddling and far more firing!



Noted, Shima -



The Long LCP mag has a big brother!!! For my G43!!! My G43 is going to be far more confident in it's ability to carry more rounds!!!



Ooooh, it looks like the other G43 mag is going to have the ability to lengthen itself. Without a prescription!



Last but not least on the GUN side of the equation, a range bag! Shima must be one hell of a listener, because my long gun range bag has been a soft bass case for the last decade -



In closing on the gun section, I have enough mags to arm a small militia, enough extensions to make that small militia +2 in all ranged encounters, enough upgrades to make my shotgun officially Apocalypse Ready, and a range bag!

Shima, you outdid yourself and imparted some great gun stuff!

But wait, there's more!

In the next post - The Non-Gun Stuff!

In the post after that - The Mega Box

ZebraBlade
Mar 26, 2010

Something is rotten in the state of Denmark

Santa straight up shot a Christmas load all over you

Cyrano4747
Sep 25, 2006



Christmas bukakke?

Egg nog shot?

Two elfs one box?

Captain Log
Oct 2, 2006

Captain Log posted:

"I AINT DYING! Choo choo motherfucker!"




The Medium Box - The Not Gun But Sometimes Still Gun Related Fun Stuff

The Box of Loot had many surprises, twists, and turns. Now, we move onto the stuff that doesn't make my guns +3 to tactical readiness.

Hmmm, I seem to remember sending some old wrestling cards to the King of Detroit last Christmas. I believe one has reappeared. All hail HAKU!



Patches!



This second patch might need to go the shoulder of my jacket -



This is a leather strap with a scene of nature playing out across it. I'm going to be honest, I'm not certain which of my firearms this will best serve. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get a good picture of the nature scene -






As a service, USPS will often shake boxes really hard before they arrive. They definitely did that service with this box. Because I found this wonderful little bag. It's empty.



Because I'm an excellent detective, I put on my Sherlock Cap and went exploring.

The -



Box -



Kept -



Giving!!! -



I couldn't do these dice justice with my cell phone camera. They are freaking awesome and have really cool, shifting colors. These dice take me back to being a teenager, playing D&D with buddies. I also know these were custom made by the King of Detroit himself, making them that much more special. Thank you, Shima. I'm going to be saying that a lot. Something you made with your own hands means a lot to me.



According to the Box Manifest, this is a "Silicone Round" byproduct of Dice Wizardry that makes an excellent coaster. Once I am done playing with it, it shall enter service as a coaster. It's squishy!



As you might have seen hiding in the background of the dice pictures...

MOROCCAN COINS!!! Not just Moroccan, either. Moroccan Francs.





Shima, are you a coin person? Because both of these are absolutely stellar examples of both of these coins. They will sit in my collection, proudly displayed to anyone who makes the mistake of asking me, "Are you a coin weirdo?"

Now comes what may be my favorite thing. As we all know, Shima has begun a thriving dice business and offers some other incredibly cool stuff. I believe this might be a dice holder? If one of you got to see my desk, you'd see it covered in knick knacks and little space organizers. This will enter service on my desk until I croak. It's stunning.







There is another decorative mold that's just as wonderful -





Look at the underside! It's beautiful!



I mean it, I loving love the box and the mold. My Dad's going to try and steal this from me.

Shima, holy crap man. You've given me more thoughtful gifts than people who have known me for decades. When I was opening all of this, I was borderline speechless. We've never met and you managed to have me dialed in to a level I can hardly believe.

I was sat here for a good thirty minutes in awe of this stuff...then I remembered something.

Something starting me in the face.

Shima Honnou
Dec 1, 2010

The Once And Future King Of Dicetroit



College Slice

Two items unfortunately didn't make it in time. One is just a patch that says Good Vibes in '60s font, the other is a Moroccan flag patch. I'm actually not a coin person at all, I just knew what you'd want lol

BeAuMaN
Feb 18, 2014

I'M A LEAD FARMER, MOTHERFUCKER!


Per Goon tradition on focusing on the background, I like how Grey's Anatomy is groaning in subtitles while you open these packages .

Looks like an awesome haul!

Captain Log
Oct 2, 2006

Captain Log posted:

"I AINT DYING! Choo choo motherfucker!"




If I was a more skilled poster...a better poster, I'd know how to tease this out better.

First off, I'm going to give my honest to God guesses as to the contents of this massive box -

For Reference with a Cold Steel Spear pointed at it. For Safety -



It has some heft, but isn't super weighty.

Guesses, in order -

- A joke gift. A giant inflatable parrot?

- A not joke gift, like a giant inflatable parrot?

- A range bag? (Debunked by the contents of the medium box)

- Something for my parrots to climb on? Like a giant inflatable parrot?

- A nerf gun?

Those guesses aren't jokes, either. My father and I have been trying to guess what's in the box for literal weeks and both come up with nothing.

Time to excavate!

Hmmm.....this is a long, thin, solid box.



I had not even a hint that it was a MOTHER loving COLD STEEL SCIMITAR!!! (Held with a cloth because it's coated in storage grease)



Look at it! LOOK!!!





The scabbard is real leather and absolutely gorgeous as well!

GAZE UPON IT!!! It is loving grand, isn't it? I couldn't get great blade pictures, because it's going to need a thorough cleaning. It was stored in some Mosin worthy protective grease.





Meet your Sword Brother, the Fuzzy Talwar!





I swear on all that's good and holy, I did NOT do any peeking when I chose the sword to ceremonially open the boxes. That is absolute pure serendipity.

This sword is going to join many Cold Steel brothers and sisters. Upon my Dad seeing it, his first response was, "We are going to chop some fruit!"

Shima, I'm not joking when I say I was speechless after the contents of the first box. After the main box, I am doubly speechless.

Holy hell, man. Thank you. Those words feel small and insignificant after the thought and care you put into this Secret Santa. You've given me gifts with such a genuine amount of thought it's like you've known me since I was thirteen. Every single item has been dripping with absolute awesome and they will stay with me forever. Someday, they will be bequeathed to a worthy warrior hopefully many years from now. When you do overthrow Detroit, I'll happily wear the sword and be the weird cyborg legged palace guard.

Thank you, my man. You've started my year in the best way.

Cyrano4747
Sep 25, 2006



Goddamn.

Also shima, did you make that box? Because it looks like your dice resin.

Shima Honnou
Dec 1, 2010

The Once And Future King Of Dicetroit



College Slice

Cyrano4747 posted:

Goddamn.

Also shima, did you make that box? Because it looks like your dice resin.

Yes. Didn't make the mold for it but did make (and offer for sale) boxes.

Cyrano4747
Sep 25, 2006



Shima Honnou posted:

Yes. Didn't make the mold for it but did make (and offer for sale) boxes.

Goddamn, that's neat.

Shima Honnou
Dec 1, 2010

The Once And Future King Of Dicetroit



College Slice

I would have also gotten you a black powder revolver and committed no crime at all since it isn't a real gun but everywhere was out of loving stock.

Captain Log
Oct 2, 2006

Captain Log posted:

"I AINT DYING! Choo choo motherfucker!"




Shima Honnou posted:

I would have also gotten you a black powder revolver and committed no crime at all since it isn't a real gun but everywhere was out of loving stock.

Dude, you got me a sword from my favorite brand. I'll have to take a family picture later. I planned to do the opening with my paisley bedspread in the background, but the size of the box warranted my living room.

Let's be real. If I had black powder, I'd give myself five minutes before I blew off a hand.

shalafi4
Feb 20, 2011

another medical bills avatar



BOX INTRUDER DETECTED

Deploying tacticats for emergency clearing protocols.

ZarathustraFollower
Mar 14, 2009





drat, that's one hell of an impressive box. Awesome job Shima!

Gray Stormy
Dec 19, 2006



shalafi4 posted:



BOX INTRUDER DETECTED

Deploying tacticats for emergency clearing protocols.

Yessssss

Give in to its demands

Captain Log
Oct 2, 2006

Captain Log posted:

"I AINT DYING! Choo choo motherfucker!"




shalafi4 posted:



BOX INTRUDER DETECTED

Deploying tacticats for emergency clearing protocols.

Swing something sharp at it.

shalafi4
Feb 20, 2011

another medical bills avatar

Gray Stormy posted:

Yessssss

Give in to its demands


Alright you!!!




*opens box*

What secrets do you hold?



A note!



Said old timey ads. I really like the noon hour one.







Tacticat looping back around... I think she was checking to see if the box had taken me out. :commisar:



Okay what's in here?




....





Holy gently caress that was just small box 1...

2nd box note









Holy gently caress these are nice. I'm just speechless. I need to break out my makeshift lightbox and get better photos of these. It doesn't come across in the photos but they just *fit* into your hand and balance exceptionally well.

Thank you Santa!!! Off hand do you know what the blade material is?

Now to see what absolutely insane edge I can put with the sharpening stones/plates I have. MUAHAHAHA

BeAuMaN
Feb 18, 2014

I'M A LEAD FARMER, MOTHERFUCKER!


Wow, that's some beautiful knife action going on there.

Googling... Blade Material for both is "CPM 3V"; Mentions the Bravo 2 is 59-60 HRC.
So... this? https://www.crucible.com/eselector/prodbyapp/tooldie/cpm3vt.html#:~:text=CPM%203V%20is%20a%20high,a%20high%20wear%2Dresistance%20steel.

Gray Stormy
Dec 19, 2006



They're both 3V and hand-made by yours truly.. <3

When you go to sharpen them keep in mind they're convex ground already. That can someones make things a little tricky.

shalafi4
Feb 20, 2011

another medical bills avatar

Gray Stormy posted:

They're both 3V ...
As a knifemaker and metallurgist.




Gray Stormy posted:

...and hand-made by yours truly.. <3
When you go to sharpen them keep in mind they're convex ground already. That can someones make things a little tricky.

That's flipping awesome man.

3v is one of my favorite general knife steel. (typical I'm making small stuff)

Convex edge is zero issue. I used to hand sharpen end mills


One of my pet projects is a bronze folding knife with a CPM T-15 inset edge

Captain Log
Oct 2, 2006

Captain Log posted:

"I AINT DYING! Choo choo motherfucker!"




This may be the sharpest day in Secret Santa.

That knife is wicked!

Captain Log
Oct 2, 2006

Captain Log posted:

"I AINT DYING! Choo choo motherfucker!"




Grr, Imgur is making GBS threads the bed.

I have a magical picture of my LCP to share.

Captain Log
Oct 2, 2006

Captain Log posted:

"I AINT DYING! Choo choo motherfucker!"




Finally!

I love my LCP even more with this wonderful magazine.

Shima Honnou
Dec 1, 2010

The Once And Future King Of Dicetroit



College Slice

Now do the glock, which if it were a doublestack you'd have a 32 rounder.

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Atticus_1354
Dec 9, 2006

Don't you go near that dog, you understand? Don't go near him, he's just as dangerous dead as alive.


Gray Stormy posted:

They're both 3V and hand-made by yours truly.. <3

That's cool as hell. Those are some great knives.

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