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dude looks like he thinks about tortoises just constantly
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Nov 14, 2020 20:12
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every night carefully zipping himself into a sleeping bag shaped like a prawn (with an extra blanket that looks like mayonnaise)
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Nov 14, 2020 20:14
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a full quartet of guys just hired to follow him around mumbling "Ed Ed Ed Ed Ed Ed"
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Nov 14, 2020 20:16
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overnight, a blossom has grown. in the morning, a flower opens. inexplicably, the flower is Ed Sheeran's face
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Nov 14, 2020 20:18
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he mispronounces "tacos" but can't hear the difference when you explain his mistake
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Nov 14, 2020 20:19
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any justice in this cold world and he and Ginger Baker would have each other's names
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Nov 14, 2020 20:20
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"Canned Hams" by Ludacris (feat. Ed Sheeran)
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Nov 14, 2020 20:23
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like a sentient tangle of sisal twine
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Nov 14, 2020 20:24
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looks like when he retires from music, he's going to sell sheds
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Nov 14, 2020 20:26
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if you ask him, he'll tell you about that vivid dream he had about owning an ice cream truck
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Nov 14, 2020 20:30
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only has Velcro shoes
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Nov 14, 2020 20:36
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"and now, the celebrity spokesman for Overalls Month"
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Nov 14, 2020 20:38
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imagine a cotton swab, but instead it is a man
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Nov 14, 2020 20:39
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Ed Sheeran patiently waiting his turn on the monkey bars
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Nov 14, 2020 20:41
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"no, Ed, I'm not sure why they didn't call it Burger Time 2"
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Nov 14, 2020 20:45
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accidentally loses the keys to his perfectly spherical car
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Nov 14, 2020 20:47
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"ASMR for sleep (Ed Sheeran whispering 'sheepskin') 10 hours"
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Nov 14, 2020 20:48
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using crutches and saying "whee!"
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Nov 14, 2020 20:48
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Ed Sheeran signature products: - scented crayons - dried herbs (lavender and dill only) - fashion smocks - bookends - creme caramel (under the Sweet Flantasy label)
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Nov 14, 2020 20:57
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all the other kids pull out Ninja Turtles lunchboxes; I am visibly sweating at the thought of having them see my Ed Sheeran lunchbox
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Nov 14, 2020 20:59
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Big Beef City posted:Empty Sandwich I gotta tell ya you seem pretty invested in whoever Ed Sheeran is and it's weird. nah, I'm just high on allergy meds. I've never heard one of his songs, as far as I know
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Nov 14, 2020 21:44
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Ed Sheeran gives amateur zoo tours on weekdays
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Nov 14, 2020 21:47
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Ed Sheeran's favorite seafood is imitation crab
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Nov 14, 2020 21:57
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he's the sort of guy who always gets the bad bumper car
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Nov 14, 2020 21:58
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keeps waking himself up saying "Botswana," but he doesn't know why
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Nov 14, 2020 22:05
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puts a piece of gum in his mouth and just holds it there, like a jawbreaker
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Nov 14, 2020 22:06
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Ed Sheeran hanging on in a corner asking passers-by if they have a cigarette, then just nodding if they try to give him one
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Dec 26, 2020 15:39
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dude can't ever remember which meat is called ham
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Dec 26, 2020 15:41
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Top Whack UK and Top Whack America are remarkably similar programs
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Dec 26, 2020 18:49
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[Ed Sheeran, behind a curtain, noisily relieving himself] "yeah, don't come in... I'm... I'm investing in London real estate"
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Dec 27, 2020 02:37
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Ed Sheeran is not the kind of guy to nickname his dick, but he did name one of his balls
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Dec 28, 2020 01:02
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twitchy guy in the club bathroom selling ed sheerans (it's two Tums in a nickel bag; he is entirely straightforward about it)
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Dec 29, 2020 16:11
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say Ed Sheeran into a mirror three times at midnight and you will feel like a real doofus, I'm telling you
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Dec 30, 2020 18:31
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Ed Sheeran does not know that pasta must be boiled
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Dec 30, 2020 22:04
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numberoneposter posted:I'm his cousin Ted Sheeran ask me anything. absolutely not. no.
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Dec 31, 2020 02:26
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the refuses to say the word pubes
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Jan 1, 2021 20:27
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my man absent-mindedly bringing his tiny guitar into the shower
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Jan 2, 2021 10:35
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Ed Sheeran is cooking eggs at your local diner
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Jan 4, 2021 01:52
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Ed Sheeran owns several hatpins
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Jan 8, 2021 19:55
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| # ¿ Apr 29, 2024 18:34 |
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close childhood friend describes Ed Sheeran's early years as "damp"
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Jan 8, 2021 19:56
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