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Olewithmilk
Jun 30, 2006

What?



One got his dick out



BBC posted:

Archaeologists have uncovered the remains of two men who died in the volcanic eruption that destroyed the ancient Roman city of Pompeii nearly 2,000 years ago.

One was probably a man of high status, and the other his slave, officials at the Pompeii archaeological park said.

They "were perhaps seeking refuge" from the eruption "when they were swept away", director Massimo Osanna added.

Pompeii was engulfed by a volcanic eruption from Mount Vesuvius in AD 79.

The eruption buried Pompeii in ash, freezing the city and its residents in time, and making it a rich source for archaeologists.

The latest discovery was made this month during an excavation of a large villa on the outskirts of the ancient city.

Officials said the wealthy man was aged between 30 and 40. Traces of a warm woollen cloak were found beneath his neck.

The other man was aged between 18 and 23. Officials at the archaeological site said crushed vertebrae indicated that he was a slave who did manual labour.

Casts were created, using impressions the victims' bodies had made in the hardened ash.

"It is a death by thermal shock, as also demonstrated by their clenched feet and hands," Mr Osanna told reporters.

He described the discovery as "an incredible and extraordinary testimony" of the morning when they eruption took place.

Excavation work is continuing at the archaeological site, located near Naples, but it remains closed to tourists because of coronavirus measures.

Would you like to be mummified by a pyroclastic blast with your outer genetalia visible or invisible? Please, please let me know.

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Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

I thought it was time you had a new av so typed in random picture and this is what came up


I want to be doing my best impression of the goatman when pyroclastic flow hits

GolfHole
Feb 26, 2004



i like that the emperor died with a pillow tied to his head because he was too fat to be a hero and his entourage agreed

Propaganda Machine
Jan 2, 2005

Truthiness!

Here's hoping the archaeologists didn't have a last dance with Marius Janus

Olewithmilk
Jun 30, 2006

What?



Colonel Cancer posted:

I want to be doing my best impression of the goatman when pyroclastic flow hits

Are you praticing for this eventuality? Seems like something you need to pratice in order to not get embarassed when the hot cloud hits.

Lawman 0
Aug 17, 2010





"Seeking refuge" indeed

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013


i'm glad of it, op

this is cool as hell and I'm a history nerd about this poo poo ama or go to ask/tell and look at the roman history thread and have your breath taken away by what better goons than I'll ever be know all about more than I ever will about this and more

Doctor Dogballs
Apr 1, 2007

driving the fuck truck from hand land to pound town without stopping at suction station


best believe i'm dying with my dingdong out whether it's by volcano or whatever else

Olewithmilk
Jun 30, 2006

What?



Big Beef City posted:

i'm glad of it, op

this is cool as hell and I'm a history nerd about this poo poo ama or go to ask/tell and look at the roman history thread and have your breath taken away by what better goons than I'll ever be know all about more than I ever will about this and more

I do genuinely like Pompeii. I was justthinking looking at a map, what were the contempory accounts of the disaster, if any?

Doctor Dogballs posted:

best believe i'm dying with my dingdong out whether it's by volcano or whatever else


Olewithmilk fucked around with this message at 20:50 on Nov 21, 2020

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013


Olewithmilk posted:

I do genuinely like Pompeii. I was justthinking looking at a map, what were the contempory accounts of the disaster, if any?

Genuinely "holy poo poo, oh no!" and they knew there were no survivors but sent aid and relief anyway.
Pliny writes about going and offering aid to whatever survivors were on the fringes of the eruption and knowing the entire city was a total loss.

It wasn't a "oh no the gods have forsaken us" moment of confusion, it was a "Oh poo poo, no! our friends, family, and country-men are lost, this is tragic" event. It's quite telling that they didn't turn to theism and instead turned to one another and basically just said "Oh poo poo".

SilvergunSuperman
Aug 6, 2010



Doctor Dogballs posted:

best believe i'm dying with my dingdong out whether it's by volcano or whatever else

I remember one of the everest threads someone said they wanted to be the new green boots, but instead they'd be a frozen naked corpse, hunched over and greedily trying to blow themself.

The Voice of Labor
Apr 8, 2020



the gently caress kind of manual labor do you have to be enslaved to for it to completely gently caress your back by age 18-23?

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013


I am so loving sick of Space Moose.

I hate it in all its incarnations.


You are a forever a single 40's white dude. We get it.


Please for the love of god stop posting or quoting Space Moose. It is and never will be relevant ever again. Stop. Stop doing it. It's gross.

FilthyImp
Sep 30, 2002

Nope



Hey just to be clear pyroclastic events cause a lot of shrinkage and it happens to a lot of guys and really it's a grower so let's just stop talking about it ok I'm going home

Olewithmilk
Jun 30, 2006

What?



Big Beef City posted:

Genuinely "holy poo poo, oh no!" and they knew there were no survivors but sent aid and relief anyway.
Pliny writes about going and offering aid to whatever survivors were on the fringes of the eruption and knowing the entire city was a total loss.

It wasn't a "oh no the gods have forsaken us" moment of confusion, it was a "Oh poo poo, no! our friends, family, and country-men are lost, this is tragic" event. It's quite telling that they didn't turn to theism and instead turned to one another and basically just said "Oh poo poo".

That's cool, any poo poo pre-1600s I assumed people put down to the vageries of the gods because I am ignorant, so it's neat that I'm wrong. Was there a reason they didn't blame the gods? It seems like the perfect act of god.

Big Beef City posted:

I am so loving sick of Space Moose.

Apologies, I did not know anyone felt this strongly about Space Moose.

GolfHole
Feb 26, 2004



Olewithmilk posted:

That's cool, any poo poo pre-1600s I assumed people put down to the vageries of the gods because I am ignorant, so it's neat that I'm wrong. Was there a reason they didn't blame the gods? It seems like the perfect act of god.

i mean they like the gods and are afraid of them i dont think anybody started a son wukong quest to kill them

a relief effort for something like that probably took way too much time to worry about blame

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erupt...#The_Two_Plinys

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013


Olewithmilk posted:

That's cool, any poo poo pre-1600s I assumed people put down to the vageries of the gods because I am ignorant, so it's neat that I'm wrong. Was there a reason they didn't blame the gods? It seems like the perfect act of god.

I'd strongly recommend you check out the Ask/Tell thread about Roman history. You seem strongly lacking, to put it mildly.

Zugzwang
Jan 2, 2005

I look like you wanna look, I fuck like you wanna fuck, I am smart, capable, and most importantly, I am free in all the ways that you are not.


Ramrod XTreme

Olewithmilk posted:

One got his dick out




Would you like to be mummified by a pyroclastic blast with your outer genetalia visible or invisible? Please, please let me know.
Someone please photoshop Rudy over the one on the right.

Previa_fun
Nov 10, 2004

Aww, so I had my slant on. Lay off me!


Olewithmilk posted:

Apologies, I did not know anyone felt this strongly about Space Moose.

I didn't care until that goons meltdown, now I love the space moose. Post more.

Randarkman
Jul 18, 2011




Olewithmilk posted:

That's cool, any poo poo pre-1600s I assumed people put down to the vageries of the gods because I am ignorant, so it's neat that I'm wrong. Was there a reason they didn't blame the gods? It seems like the perfect act of god.

I mean they did. Gods did poo poo like volcano eruoptions, storms and droughts, because the gods were fickle and you had to do your best to appease them through ritual and sacrifice. Natural disasters happening didn't make people question the existence of the gods or whether they had abandoned them, stuff like that happening was more in the vein, "oh poo poo, here come the gods again", and you didn't abandon people to the mercy of gods' anger, you'd probably try to help and do your best to keep the gods as happy as possible going forwards, but you always knew that you just couldn't totally know what would work and what wouldn't, because you know, fickle.

Saying people "didn't turn to theism" is also pretty ignorant I think, when you're talking about societies that did not really distinguish that strongly between the mortal world and the divine, people probably didn't even really think question the gods, because as they saw it they were evident in everything happening around them.

edit: The ancient Romans were even remarked upon by others for how religious they were (and the Romans saw this as a mark of pride), but you have to realize that you aren't really talking about belief, dogma and disciplines, it's pretty much all ritual, sacrifice and reverence, that's the important part, belief is completely inconsequential (and taken for granted as noted above, if you didn't believe "what you could plainly see" you'd be a fool).
This fact is basically why the Romans came to see the Christians as such a threat to the established order, because they denied the existence of the gods, they were atheists, who refused to partake in the rituals giving sacrifice and reverence to the gods and therefore could potentially put their whole society at risk. The Jews did the same, but since Judaism was so old, the Romans figured they could tolerate them (and Jews would often agree to sacrifice to the emperor's spirit or some such compromise in place of the gods), because that made it good in their book, anything old had to be some degree of good.

Randarkman fucked around with this message at 22:05 on Nov 21, 2020

r u ready to WALK
Sep 29, 2001



how gross are these things inside once you break the outer crust?

is it like a century egg with a gooey center or are they rock hard all the way through

SilvergunSuperman
Aug 6, 2010



r u ready to WALK posted:

how gross are these things inside once you break the outer crust?

is it like a century egg with a gooey center or are they rock hard all the way through

Asking the real questions.

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013



"Alfred...?
"Yes master Bruce?
"I want nothing."
"Thank you, Master Bruce."

Olewithmilk
Jun 30, 2006

What?



Big Beef City posted:

I'd strongly recommend you check out the Ask/Tell thread about Roman history. You seem strongly lacking, to put it mildly.

100%, I will do this, I am gradually running down my pandemic entertainment and forgot ask/tell was a useful repository of information. Are there any books on Pompeii you recommend?

Previa_fun posted:

I didn't care until that goons meltdown, now I love the space moose. Post more.

http://www.benasher.net/uploads/1/2...054537_orig.png

Bula Vinaka
Oct 21, 2020

Beachside!


Tavern of Verecundus: Restitutus says: "Restituta, take off your tunic, please, and show us your hairy privates".

Bar/Brothel of Innulus and Papilio: Weep, you girls. My penis has given you up. Now it penetrates men's behinds. Goodbye, wondrous femininity!

House of the Citharist, below a drawing of a man with a large nose: Amplicatus, I know that Icarus is buggering you. Salvius wrote this.

House of Cuspius Pansa: The finances officer of the emperor Nero says this food is poison

Bar: We two dear men, friends forever, were here. If you want to know our names, they are Gaius and Aulus.

House and Office of Volusius Luvencus: Secundus says hello to his Prima, wherever she is. I ask, my mistress, that you love me.

Bar of Athictus: I screwed the barmaid

Pottery Shop or Bar of Nicanor: Lesbianus, you defecate and you write, 'Hello, everyone!'

Gladiator barracks: Floronius, privileged soldier of the 7th legion, was here. The women did not know of his presence. Only six women came to know, too few for such a stallion.

Gladiator barracks: Antiochus hung out here with his girlfriend Cithera.

House of Pascius Hermes: Watch it, you that shits in this place! May you have Jove's anger if you ignore this.

Street wall: Theophilus, don't perform oral sex on girls against the city wall like a dog

Exterior of a small house: Gaius Sabinus says a fond hello to Statius. Traveler, you eat bread in Pompeii but you go to Nuceria to drink. At Nuceria, the drinking is better

House of Cosmus and Epidia: Aufidius was here. Goodbye

Just outside the Vesuvius gate: Shitter, may everything turn out okay so that you can leave this place

Barracks of the Julian-Claudian gladiators: Celadus the Thracian makes the girls moan!

On the Street of Mercury: Publius Comicius Restitutus stood right here with his brother

House of Sextus Pompeius Axiochus and Julia Helena: Hectice, baby, Mercator says hello to you

Vico degli Scienziati: Cruel Lalagus, why do you not love me?

House of Orpheus: I have buggered men

Wood-Working Shop of Potitus, next to a bar: Would that you pay for all your tricks, innkeeper. You sell us water and keep the good wine for yourself

Atrium of the House of Pinarius: If anyone does not believe in Venus, they should gaze at my girlfriend

House of Caesius Blandus: It took 640 paces to walk back and forth between here and there ten times

Vicolo del Panattiere, House of the Vibii Merchants: Atimetus got me pregnant

House of Caprasius Primus: I don't want to sell my husband, not for all the gold in the world

Eumachia Building, via della Abbondanza: Secundus likes to screw boys.

The Lupinare: I screwed a lot of girls here

The Lupinare: On June 15th, Hermeros screwed here with Phileterus and Caphisus

The Lupinare: Sollemnes, you screw well!

Vico d' Eumachia, brothel: Gaius Valerius Venustus, soldier of the 1st praetorian cohort, in the century of Rufus, screwer of women

Vico d' Eumachia, brothel: Vibius Restitutus slept here alone and missed his darling Urbana

Street of the Theaters: A copper pot went missing from my shop. Anyone who returns it to me will be given 65 bronze coins. 20 more will be given for information leading to the capture of the thief

Above a bench outside the Marine Gate: If anyone sits here, let him read this first of all: if anyone wants a screw, he should look for Attice; she costs 4 sestertii.

In the bascilica: I could caress Venus's ribs with a stick, and whip her buttocks with a switch: she pierced my heart, and I would gladly break her head with a cudgel!

In the basilica: Phileros is a eunuch!

In the basilica: Epaphra, you are bald!

In the basilica: Chie, I hope your haemorrhoids rub together so much that they hurt worse than when they ever have before!

In the basilica: Take hold of your servant girl whenever you want to; it's your right

In the basilica: Samius to Cornelius: go hang yourself!

In the basilica: The man I am having dinner with is a barbarian
Alternative translation: Someone at whose table I do not dine, Lucius Istacidius, is a barbarian to me

In the basilica: The one who buggers a fire burns his penis

In the basilica: O walls, you have held up so much tedious graffiti that I am amazed you have not already collapsed in ruin

In the basilica: Epaphra is not good at ball games

In the basilica: Lucius Istacidius, I regard as a stranger anyone who doesn't invite me to dinner

Inn of the Muledrivers; left of the door: We have pissed in our beds. Host, I admit that we shouldn't have done this. If you ask: Why? There was no potty

House of the Centenary; in the latrine near the front door: "Secundus defecated here" three time on one wall

House of the Centenary; in the atrium: My lusty son, with how many women have you had sexual relations?

Triclinium of a house: Restitutus has deceived many girls

Herculaneum bar: Two friends were here. While they were, they had bad service in every way from a guy named Epaphroditus. They threw him out and spent 105 and half sestertii most agreeably on whores

Herculaneum bar: Apelles the chamberlain with Dexter, a slave of Caesar, ate here most agreeably and had a screw at the same time

Herculaneum bar, next to a drawing of a phallus: Handle with care

Herculaneum bar: Apelles Mus and his brother Dexter each pleasurably had sex with two girls twice

Herculaneum, on a water distribution tower: Anyone who wants to poo poo in this place is advised to move along. If you act contrary to this warning, you will have to pay a penalty. Children must pay [number missing] silver coins. Slaves will be beaten on their behinds

Herculaneum, on the exterior wall of a house: Apollinaris, the doctor of the emperor Titus, shat well here

Gladiator barracks: On April 19th, I made bread

kecske
Feb 28, 2011

it's round, like always


Doctor Dogballs posted:

best believe i'm dying with my dingdong out whether it's by volcano or whatever else

Mooey Cow
Jan 27, 2018



Pillbug

They're not mummies baka OP, they're plaster casts.

Bula Vinaka posted:

In the basilica: The one who buggers a fire burns his penis

Rutibex
Sep 9, 2001

Forums Rutabaga

which one has the "high status"? i assume the one with his dick out

Johnny Walker
Jun 14, 2005

Old Owl, a Lookout


I assume it wasn't my friend, Biggus Dickus.

Loden Taylor
Aug 11, 2003






Olewithmilk posted:

Would you like to be mummified by a pyroclastic blast with your outer genetalia visible or invisible? Please, please let me know.

Bula Vinaka posted:

Street wall: Theophilus, don't perform oral sex on girls against the city wall like a dog

I'd rather be mummified like my boy theo here

Klyith
Aug 3, 2007

GBS Pledge Week


Bula Vinaka posted:

Atrium of the House of Pinarius: If anyone does not believe in Venus, they should gaze at my girlfriend

She's from Gallia Cisalpina. You wouldn't know her.


Bula Vinaka posted:

Herculaneum bar, next to a drawing of a phallus: Handle with care

Jose
Jul 24, 2007



Olewithmilk posted:

One got his dick out




Would you like to be mummified by a pyroclastic blast with your outer genetalia visible or invisible? Please, please let me know.

Tiny dick and a slave talk about owned

deadeyez
Jan 31, 2015

aggressively stupid

Fun Shoe

That ween is either perfectly preserved, or broke in half. Either way lol

Schweinhund
Oct 23, 2004

                                       


Olewithmilk posted:

I do genuinely like Pompeii. I was justthinking looking at a map, what were the contempory accounts of the disaster, if any?

There is an account here:

http://www.eyewitnesstohistory.com/pompeii.htm

Genderfluent
Jul 15, 2015



Must have been pretty cold in Pompeii that day lol

Fatty
Sep 13, 2004
Not really fat

Olewithmilk posted:

Would you like to be mummified by a pyroclastic blast with your outer genetalia visible or invisible? Please, please let me know.

They're not mummies, they're holes in the ground archaeologists poured plaster into.

snergle
Aug 3, 2013


The Voice of Labor posted:

the gently caress kind of manual labor do you have to be enslaved to for it to completely gently caress your back by age 18-23?

they dont call it blowing your back out for nothing.

they dont call it working on your back for nothing.

quote:

Street wall: Theophilus, don't perform oral sex on girls against the city wall like a dog

i wanna believe this wasnt graffiti so much as a literal law they have all over signs and poo poo because their is a huge public cunnilingus problem in their city

snergle fucked around with this message at 00:33 on Nov 22, 2020

Rutibex
Sep 9, 2001

Forums Rutabaga

Fatty posted:

They're not mummies, they're holes in the ground archaeologists poured plaster into.

they are reverse mummies

Mega64
May 23, 2008





I'm glad we're slowly learning more details about a lost society's dongs.

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Fatty
Sep 13, 2004
Not really fat

Rutibex posted:

they are reverse mummies

Negative Space Mummies.

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