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The world contains many wonders. Some natural, some artificial, some inexplicable. I have just experienced a wonder first hand: the pizza windfall. My roommate ordered delivery for herself, as she does most days of the week because she is both unwilling and incapable of cooking. But as her Mexican food was delivered she encountered a surprise. The food was in the proper location at our front door, but it was atop a heretofore unknown pizza box, pictured here.  News of the errant pizza immediately spread throughout the house. An investigation was promptly begun, and the following facts of the case quickly established. 1) None of the house's four residents had ordered a pizza. 2) There was no doorbell ring or other attempt at signaling by the deliverer. This pizza was covertly dropped. Even our ill-behaved dogs, who normally delight in howling wildly anytime someone is at the door, made not a peep. The roommate whose window overseas the front area and was in his room playing video games at the time made no notice. Clearly a master of stealth was involved. 3) The pizza was nearly room temperature, indicating it was not delivered alongside the Mexican food unless it had been in the delivery car for an abnormal length of time. 4) There was a second unexplained package. A small Styrofoam container inside a tied plastic bag accompanied the pizza. This was originally though to be part of the Mexican food order, but a thorough census of material revealed the truth. Having no further leads, the box was opened. I did not have the presence of mind to take a picture in the moment, so this is after the pizza was partially eaten. It arrived whole.  What we have here is a four topping pizza. Pepperoni, sausage, pineapple, and jalepeño. Clearly, whoever ordered this pizza is an rear end in a top hat (so noted in case file). However, it was actually fairly tasty imo. While eating the pizza I ruminated on the mystery. Where did the pizza come from? Did someone enter the wrong address when ordering? Did the delivery driver mean to drop it off next door, and I'm eating my neighbor's pizza? Did the driver just gently caress something up and decide to ditch the evidence upon our door? We may never know. What an age we live in, where a pizza can be delivered to one's door in total anonymity, never to be checked upon or verified. We will never face the slightest repercussion for eating this pizza we did not order. No person or entity will know or care that we did so. But wait! What about the other package?  Fried dough! There were more pieces here originally, and a container of marinara sauce. Man, we loving robbed somebody. A four topping pizza and an order of fried dough. It's an early christmas miracle!
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Nov 23, 2020 01:23
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| # ? Jan 23, 2021 09:26 |
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Was the mexican food delivered by the restaurant or a delivery service? I'm thinking the doordash driver just wanted to get rid of someones food for one reason or another and dumped it
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Nov 23, 2020 01:29
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I probably wouldn’t eat sketchy unannounced delivery food in these times, but hey ya gotta eat.
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Nov 23, 2020 01:35
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DeadFatDuckFat posted:Was the mexican food delivered by the restaurant or a delivery service? I'm thinking the doordash driver just wanted to get rid of someones food for one reason or another and dumped it Delivery service, definitely. Either DoorDash or UberEats. Is this a common occurrence? A driver has a reason to ditch someone's food and just leaves it at the door of some random other order?
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Nov 23, 2020 01:39
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someone owned you by getting a 4 topping pizza with pineapple on it delivered to your house. now you're one of the people who eats that pizza. it's undignified.
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Nov 23, 2020 01:47
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the breadsticks are just the icing on the cake, because it's like 4,000 calories of carbs and you're clearly fat for eating it. rip
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Nov 23, 2020 01:48
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I will accept jokes and ridicule about my numerous personal flaws but I am not fat.
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Nov 23, 2020 01:56
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I'm trying to understand whats going on here but having some troubles
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Nov 23, 2020 02:03
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Chomp8645 posted:Delivery service, definitely. Either DoorDash or UberEats. Is this a common occurrence? A driver has a reason to ditch someone's food and just leaves it at the door of some random other order? I did UberEats for the briefest of times, if an order got cancelled after you already picked up the food, you got to keep the food. Could have just been a driver didn't want it but also didn't want to waste it by throwing it out, so they just left it with their next order as a bonus for them. I am basing this on nothing though so 
Dragonstoned fucked around with this message at 02:07 on Nov 23, 2020 |
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Nov 23, 2020 02:04
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Sort of like the Star Trek episode "Troubles With the Tribbles"
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Nov 23, 2020 02:05
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pineapple+jalapeno is a delightfully good combination of flavors OP
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Nov 23, 2020 02:06
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Chomp8645 posted:I will accept jokes and ridicule about my numerous personal flaws but I am not fat. too bad i heard lamias like em chunky
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Nov 23, 2020 02:08
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Do you or anyone else in the house have enemies, op?
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Nov 23, 2020 02:10
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Dragonstoned posted:I did UberEats for the briefest of times, if an order got cancelled after you already picked up the food, you got to keep the food. Who pays?
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Nov 23, 2020 02:11
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gently caress off bart
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Nov 23, 2020 02:14
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Crusty Nutsack posted:Do you or anyone else in the house have enemies, op? The only one of us that I can imagine anyone caring enough to poison barely spends any time here. She's constantly abrasive and combative to everyone so I can imagine her having enemies, but she only sleeps here about half the time and is almost never around outside sleeping hours. So it would have to be a very lazy poisoner who doesn't do their research. Sending a poison pizza to her boyfriend's place would be a much better strategy.
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Nov 23, 2020 02:33
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Chomp8645 posted:The only one of us that I can imagine anyone caring enough to poison barely spends any time here. She's constantly abrasive and combative to everyone so I can imagine her having enemies, but she only sleeps here about half the time and is almost never around outside sleeping hours. So it would have to be a very lazy poisoner who doesn't do their research. Sending a poison pizza to her boyfriend's place would be a much better strategy. poison seems a little much. I was thinking more like the sender rubbed it on their butt or something
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Nov 23, 2020 02:37
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This is how they are randomly testing the Covid vaccine.
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Nov 23, 2020 02:38
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Call Your Grandma posted:gently caress off bart my name is also bart
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Nov 23, 2020 02:40
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I've stared at that particular pizza box design for hours. It was almost always around in the break room of a place I worked at. I really hate it. One guy is reasonably detailed. The guy behind him is a goddamn muppet.
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Nov 23, 2020 02:43
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Call Your Grandma posted:gently caress off bart
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Nov 23, 2020 02:44
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You owe me a loving pizza op 
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Nov 23, 2020 02:53
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Crusty Nutsack posted:poison seems a little much. I was thinking more like the sender rubbed it on their butt or something Managing to rub a cooked pizza on your butt without disturbing the the toppings, pulling at any slices, or bending the pizza would be an impressive feat of physical dexterity.
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Nov 23, 2020 03:52
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Chomp8645 posted:Managing to rub a cooked pizza on your butt without disturbing the the toppings, pulling at any slices, or bending the pizza would be an impressive feat of physical dexterity. This ain't their first butt rodeo.
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Nov 23, 2020 04:02
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Pizza is just ok, even really good pizza
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Nov 23, 2020 04:21
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Fartington Butts posted:I've stared at that particular pizza box design for hours. It was almost always around in the break room of a place I worked at. Zero pre-prepared ingredients, like hes grating out a small bit of cheese for each pizza and putting the cheese back on the shelf behind him, not to mention whatever else hes going to use. "Welcome to Papa Eggplants....that'll be-a 2 hours"
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Nov 23, 2020 05:26
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Welcome 2 bonertown
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Nov 23, 2020 05:30
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What the heck iron chef rear end place do you order from that has pizza and mexican food? Is there like some pan European buffet I’m missing out on somewhere? 
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Nov 23, 2020 05:36
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the four toppings chosen are not the best combo, and easily the worst of the four is the sausage
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Nov 23, 2020 05:39
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ClamdestineBoyster posted:What the heck iron chef rear end place do you order from that has pizza and mexican food? Is there like some pan European buffet I’m missing out on somewhere? Never had mexican pizza at taco bell huh Well you never will since it's discontinued
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Nov 23, 2020 06:16
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Fartington Butts posted:This ain't their first butt rodeo. Aside from rubbing a pizza with ones derriere, what are the other events at this butt rodeo?
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Nov 23, 2020 07:00
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Chinatown posted:pineapple+jalapeno is a delightfully good combination of flavors OP
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Nov 23, 2020 07:28
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Pineapple and jalapeno is fine. The meats need to be replaced with roast chicken. And to round it out some fresh tomato.
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Nov 23, 2020 07:36
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Chinatown posted:pineapple+jalapeno is a delightfully good combination of flavors OP
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Nov 23, 2020 20:47
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pineapple+jalapeno, no meat is literally my dominoes order every time. Love that I can feel the texture of the congealed cold cheese in my mouth just by looking at the photo, congratulations on this unexpected blessing in your life.
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Nov 23, 2020 21:09
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It was probably Papa John, lonely and desperate to get somebody to eat his homemade pizzas.
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Nov 23, 2020 21:17
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Halloween Liker posted:Pineapple and jalapeno is fine. Nthing this combo of pineapple and jalapeno. I've never tried it and it sounds delicious. Reading China's post and the following ones made me think that it would be a great marinade for some boneless chicken. Maybe some lemon juice and a bit of teriyaki in there, marinade overnight, then grill it. Grilled tomato slices on some kind of bun; maybe a slice of cheese like provolone? Holy poo poo that sounds good. Congrats on the door pizza. If you leave food at my doorstep, it is definitely for me whether I paid for it or not. Hoping it is not soiled/poisoned.
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Nov 23, 2020 21:29
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I heard if you put your uneaten crust under your pillow at night the pizza fairy will deliver a room-temperature pizza to your front door.
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Nov 23, 2020 21:37
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Hope op doesnt catch the pepperona
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Nov 23, 2020 22:54
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Mu Zeta posted:Never had mexican pizza at taco bell huh Burger, corn tortillas, pico sauce, some cheese, green onions, black olives, it’s not an indecipherable puzzle buddy. 
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Nov 23, 2020 23:01
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