Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Post
  • Reply
Meme Poker Party
Sep 1, 2006

THIS NEW AV WILL LET ME POST LIZARD TITS TWICE AS EFFICIENTLY!

IT'S GIVING ME A FUCKING BONER RIGHT NOW!


The world contains many wonders. Some natural, some artificial, some inexplicable. I have just experienced a wonder first hand: the pizza windfall.

My roommate ordered delivery for herself, as she does most days of the week because she is both unwilling and incapable of cooking. But as her Mexican food was delivered she encountered a surprise. The food was in the proper location at our front door, but it was atop a heretofore unknown pizza box, pictured here.



News of the errant pizza immediately spread throughout the house. An investigation was promptly begun, and the following facts of the case quickly established.

1) None of the house's four residents had ordered a pizza.

2) There was no doorbell ring or other attempt at signaling by the deliverer. This pizza was covertly dropped. Even our ill-behaved dogs, who normally delight in howling wildly anytime someone is at the door, made not a peep. The roommate whose window overseas the front area and was in his room playing video games at the time made no notice. Clearly a master of stealth was involved.

3) The pizza was nearly room temperature, indicating it was not delivered alongside the Mexican food unless it had been in the delivery car for an abnormal length of time.

4) There was a second unexplained package. A small Styrofoam container inside a tied plastic bag accompanied the pizza. This was originally though to be part of the Mexican food order, but a thorough census of material revealed the truth.


Having no further leads, the box was opened. I did not have the presence of mind to take a picture in the moment, so this is after the pizza was partially eaten. It arrived whole.



What we have here is a four topping pizza. Pepperoni, sausage, pineapple, and jalepeŮo. Clearly, whoever ordered this pizza is an rear end in a top hat (so noted in case file). However, it was actually fairly tasty imo. While eating the pizza I ruminated on the mystery. Where did the pizza come from? Did someone enter the wrong address when ordering? Did the delivery driver mean to drop it off next door, and I'm eating my neighbor's pizza? Did the driver just gently caress something up and decide to ditch the evidence upon our door? We may never know. What an age we live in, where a pizza can be delivered to one's door in total anonymity, never to be checked upon or verified. We will never face the slightest repercussion for eating this pizza we did not order. No person or entity will know or care that we did so.

But wait! What about the other package?



Fried dough! There were more pieces here originally, and a container of marinara sauce. Man, we loving robbed somebody. A four topping pizza and an order of fried dough. It's an early christmas miracle!

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

DeadFatDuckFat
Oct 29, 2012

This avatar brought to you by the 'save our dead gay forums' foundation.


Was the mexican food delivered by the restaurant or a delivery service? I'm thinking the doordash driver just wanted to get rid of someones food for one reason or another and dumped it

Mrs. Sexual
Feb 3, 2020

I covered up Lowtax's domestic violence on these forums, including doing my best to make sure any financial help towards his victims from these forums was minimized as much as humanly possible.

I get a big old boner when I think about domestic violence!


I probably wouldnít eat sketchy unannounced delivery food in these times, but hey ya gotta eat.

Meme Poker Party
Sep 1, 2006

THIS NEW AV WILL LET ME POST LIZARD TITS TWICE AS EFFICIENTLY!

IT'S GIVING ME A FUCKING BONER RIGHT NOW!


DeadFatDuckFat posted:

Was the mexican food delivered by the restaurant or a delivery service? I'm thinking the doordash driver just wanted to get rid of someones food for one reason or another and dumped it

Delivery service, definitely. Either DoorDash or UberEats. Is this a common occurrence? A driver has a reason to ditch someone's food and just leaves it at the door of some random other order?

Hell Yeah
Dec 25, 2012



someone owned you by getting a 4 topping pizza with pineapple on it delivered to your house. now you're one of the people who eats that pizza. it's undignified.

Hell Yeah
Dec 25, 2012



the breadsticks are just the icing on the cake, because it's like 4,000 calories of carbs and you're clearly fat for eating it. rip

Meme Poker Party
Sep 1, 2006

THIS NEW AV WILL LET ME POST LIZARD TITS TWICE AS EFFICIENTLY!

IT'S GIVING ME A FUCKING BONER RIGHT NOW!


I will accept jokes and ridicule about my numerous personal flaws but I am not fat.

Kaddish
Feb 7, 2002



I'm trying to understand whats going on here but having some troubles

Dragonstoned
Jan 15, 2006

MR. DOG WITH BEES IN HIS MOUTH AND WHEN HE BARKS HE SHOOTS BEES AT YOU
by Roger Hargreaves



Chomp8645 posted:

Delivery service, definitely. Either DoorDash or UberEats. Is this a common occurrence? A driver has a reason to ditch someone's food and just leaves it at the door of some random other order?

I did UberEats for the briefest of times, if an order got cancelled after you already picked up the food, you got to keep the food.

Could have just been a driver didn't want it but also didn't want to waste it by throwing it out, so they just left it with their next order as a bonus for them.

I am basing this on nothing though so

Dragonstoned fucked around with this message at 02:07 on Nov 23, 2020

Kaddish
Feb 7, 2002



Sort of like the Star Trek episode "Troubles With the Tribbles"

Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001

~*Suck My Balls*~

Fun Shoe

pineapple+jalapeno is a delightfully good combination of flavors OP

free hubcaps
Oct 12, 2009



Chomp8645 posted:

I will accept jokes and ridicule about my numerous personal flaws but I am not fat.

too bad i heard lamias like em chunky

Crusty Nutsack
Apr 21, 2005

SUCK LASER, COPPERS

WHY BE A FATCAT WHEN YOU CAN BE A SMOKERAT?

COOL ZONE HERO, ASK ME ABOUT MY LIVESTREAMS




Do you or anyone else in the house have enemies, op?

Mrs. Sexual
Feb 3, 2020

I covered up Lowtax's domestic violence on these forums, including doing my best to make sure any financial help towards his victims from these forums was minimized as much as humanly possible.

I get a big old boner when I think about domestic violence!


Dragonstoned posted:

I did UberEats for the briefest of times, if an order got cancelled after you already picked up the food, you got to keep the food.

Could have just been a driver didn't want it but also didn't want to waste it by throwing it out, so they just left it with their next order as a bonus for them.

I am basing this on nothing though so

Who pays?

Call Your Grandma
Jan 17, 2010



gently caress off bart

Meme Poker Party
Sep 1, 2006

THIS NEW AV WILL LET ME POST LIZARD TITS TWICE AS EFFICIENTLY!

IT'S GIVING ME A FUCKING BONER RIGHT NOW!


Crusty Nutsack posted:

Do you or anyone else in the house have enemies, op?

The only one of us that I can imagine anyone caring enough to poison barely spends any time here. She's constantly abrasive and combative to everyone so I can imagine her having enemies, but she only sleeps here about half the time and is almost never around outside sleeping hours. So it would have to be a very lazy poisoner who doesn't do their research. Sending a poison pizza to her boyfriend's place would be a much better strategy.

Crusty Nutsack
Apr 21, 2005

SUCK LASER, COPPERS

WHY BE A FATCAT WHEN YOU CAN BE A SMOKERAT?

COOL ZONE HERO, ASK ME ABOUT MY LIVESTREAMS




Chomp8645 posted:

The only one of us that I can imagine anyone caring enough to poison barely spends any time here. She's constantly abrasive and combative to everyone so I can imagine her having enemies, but she only sleeps here about half the time and is almost never around outside sleeping hours. So it would have to be a very lazy poisoner who doesn't do their research. Sending a poison pizza to her boyfriend's place would be a much better strategy.

poison seems a little much. I was thinking more like the sender rubbed it on their butt or something

Halloween Liker
Oct 31, 2020



This is how they are randomly testing the Covid vaccine.

The Breakfast Sampler
Jan 1, 2006




Call Your Grandma posted:

gently caress off bart

my name is also bart

Fartington Butts
Jan 21, 2007



I've stared at that particular pizza box design for hours. It was almost always around in the break room of a place I worked at.

I really hate it. One guy is reasonably detailed. The guy behind him is a goddamn muppet.

Hell Yeah
Dec 25, 2012



Call Your Grandma posted:

gently caress off bart

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

I thought it was time you had a new av so typed in random picture and this is what came up


You owe me a loving pizza op

Meme Poker Party
Sep 1, 2006

THIS NEW AV WILL LET ME POST LIZARD TITS TWICE AS EFFICIENTLY!

IT'S GIVING ME A FUCKING BONER RIGHT NOW!


Crusty Nutsack posted:

poison seems a little much. I was thinking more like the sender rubbed it on their butt or something

Managing to rub a cooked pizza on your butt without disturbing the the toppings, pulling at any slices, or bending the pizza would be an impressive feat of physical dexterity.

Fartington Butts
Jan 21, 2007



Chomp8645 posted:

Managing to rub a cooked pizza on your butt without disturbing the the toppings, pulling at any slices, or bending the pizza would be an impressive feat of physical dexterity.

This ain't their first butt rodeo.

Verisimilidude
Dec 20, 2006

Strike quick and hurry at him,
not caring to hit or miss.
So that you dishonor him before the judges





Pizza is just ok, even really good pizza

Halloween Liker
Oct 31, 2020



Fartington Butts posted:

I've stared at that particular pizza box design for hours. It was almost always around in the break room of a place I worked at.

I really hate it. One guy is reasonably detailed. The guy behind him is a goddamn muppet.

Zero pre-prepared ingredients, like hes grating out a small bit of cheese for each pizza and putting the cheese back on the shelf behind him, not to mention whatever else hes going to use.

"Welcome to Papa Eggplants....that'll be-a 2 hours"

Frank Frank
Jun 13, 2001

Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of "meh"

Welcome 2 bonertown

ClamdestineBoyster
Aug 15, 2015


What the heck iron chef rear end place do you order from that has pizza and mexican food? Is there like some pan European buffet Iím missing out on somewhere?

Relax Or DIE
May 8, 2006


the four toppings chosen are not the best combo, and easily the worst of the four is the sausage

Mu Zeta
Oct 17, 2002

Me crush ass to dust


Grimey Drawer

ClamdestineBoyster posted:

What the heck iron chef rear end place do you order from that has pizza and mexican food? Is there like some pan European buffet Iím missing out on somewhere?

Never had mexican pizza at taco bell huh

Well you never will since it's discontinued

Weka
May 5, 2019

And if you gaze long into an abyss, you will say `look, no ring.`

Fartington Butts posted:

This ain't their first butt rodeo.

Aside from rubbing a pizza with ones derriere, what are the other events at this butt rodeo?

Vim Fuego
Jun 1, 2000

I just had an epiphany: the internet is useless!






Ultra Carp

Chinatown posted:

pineapple+jalapeno is a delightfully good combination of flavors OP

Halloween Liker
Oct 31, 2020



Pineapple and jalapeno is fine.
The meats need to be replaced with roast chicken.
And to round it out some fresh tomato.

yikes!
Jul 5, 2006




Soiled Meat

Chinatown posted:

pineapple+jalapeno is a delightfully good combination of flavors OP

CommandAnt Crotchstain
Dec 3, 2019

I AM THE ALPHA AND THE OMEGA



pineapple+jalapeno, no meat is literally my dominoes order every time.

Love that I can feel the texture of the congealed cold cheese in my mouth just by looking at the photo, congratulations on this unexpected blessing in your life.

Mega64
May 23, 2008





It was probably Papa John, lonely and desperate to get somebody to eat his homemade pizzas.

Internetjack
Sep 15, 2007

oh god how did this get here i am not good with computers


Top Cop

Halloween Liker posted:

Pineapple and jalapeno is fine.
The meats need to be replaced with roast chicken.
And to round it out some fresh tomato.

Nthing this combo of pineapple and jalapeno.
I've never tried it and it sounds delicious. Reading China's post and the following ones made me think that it would be a great marinade for some boneless chicken. Maybe some lemon juice and a bit of teriyaki in there, marinade overnight, then grill it.

Grilled tomato slices on some kind of bun; maybe a slice of cheese like provolone? Holy poo poo that sounds good.

Congrats on the door pizza. If you leave food at my doorstep, it is definitely for me whether I paid for it or not. Hoping it is not soiled/poisoned.

bossy lady
Jul 5, 2006



I heard if you put your uneaten crust under your pillow at night the pizza fairy will deliver a room-temperature pizza to your front door.

rain dogs
Apr 19, 2020


Hope op doesnt catch the pepperona

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

ClamdestineBoyster
Aug 15, 2015


Mu Zeta posted:

Never had mexican pizza at taco bell huh

Well you never will since it's discontinued

Burger, corn tortillas, pico sauce, some cheese, green onions, black olives, itís not an indecipherable puzzle buddy.

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • Post
  • Reply