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SoundMonkey
Apr 22, 2006

I just push buttons.



Hello everyone. We have a new gang tag that, in true dorkroom fashion, probably like six people get the joke behind. I said I'd hand out six of them for free and by god I will. To receive your gang tag, please complete one of the following tasks and post it here. Best (decided arbitrarily since there's no end time) six will receive the gang tag for free, but obviously anyone else can just buy it if they want.

This gang tag right here.


You have a variety of ways to receive it.

1) Cook and photograph swedish meatballs (with recipe link)
2) Order or create what you consider a "dorkroom themed pizza" and post a picture of it here. You gotta convince me.
3) Three photojournalistic images of your or another person's cat. Weegee vibe appreciated but not required.
4) A photo you feel encapsulates "paddling dog" that does not actually feature a dog that is paddling

Honestly I just really want some good swedish meatball recipes.

SoundMonkey fucked around with this message at 08:33 on Nov 23, 2020

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bobmarleysghost
Mar 7, 2006




Indoor cat, Matso, depressed because he is not allowed outside.



A fully outdoors cat may be skittish on approach. This is as close as we could get. They did not respond to our request for an interview.



Local resident, who wished to remain anonymous, provides a tip for others: "Balance is key to a healthy life".

eggsovereasy
May 6, 2011



Lois in quarantine

wishing for outside


bored of it all


resigned

seravid
Apr 21, 2010

Let me tell you of the world I used to know


"Personal hygiene is tough work", says cat who didn't work a single day in its long, happy life.


Actually working cat protesting lack of appropriately-sized construction equipment.


Ready for a night on the town.

Jupiter Jazz
Jan 13, 2007

I'M AN IDIOT NARCISSIST

Holy poo poo, all these kitty pics. This contest rocks.

loaf
Jan 25, 2004









xzzy
Mar 5, 2009



I don't know how to cook meatballs, don't have any pizza, but I do got myself a motherfucking documentary series of a weegee and I am afraid to go out in to the world to come up with something that depicts dog paddling.

I title this important work "the transition of Abigail (the weegee) from kitten to adult"

Four months:



1.5 years:



3.8 years:

Ric
Nov 17, 2005

Apocalypse dude




Hello cats. Keep this going until weekend so I can come in hard with the pizza.

8th-snype
Aug 28, 2005

My office is in the front room of a run-down 12 megapixel sensor but the rent suits me and the landlord doesn't ask many questions.

Dorkroom Short Fiction Champion 2012




Young Orc

For this pizza I chose a subtle garlic sauce to indicate that posters here are nuanced and good for your cholesterol. Then we slathered that nuance on a medium thin crust, to represent the compromise that all art requires of us. Then we topped it off with crunchy chicken, for flavor. Then I put it on a toilet, the toilet represents posts. All posts.

SoundMonkey
Apr 22, 2006

I just push buttons.



Ric posted:

Hello cats. Keep this going until weekend so I can come in hard with the pizza.

yeah we can keep this rolling til then. if nothing else we get (yet another) cat thread out of it.

ansel autisms
Aug 9, 2003



8th-snype posted:

For this pizza I chose a subtle garlic sauce to indicate that posters here are nuanced and good for your cholesterol. Then we slathered that nuance on a medium thin crust, to represent the compromise that all art requires of us. Then we topped it off with crunchy chicken, for flavor. Then I put it on a toilet, the toilet represents posts. All posts.



not in the bowl. 2/10

SoundMonkey
Apr 22, 2006

I just push buttons.



ansel autisms posted:

not in the bowl. 2/10

there's no room on top of all his posts

8th-snype
Aug 28, 2005

My office is in the front room of a run-down 12 megapixel sensor but the rent suits me and the landlord doesn't ask many questions.

Dorkroom Short Fiction Champion 2012




Young Orc

SoundMonkey posted:

there's no room on top of all of our posts

DJExile
Jun 27, 2007



BRW60363 by Ben Wilcox, on Flickr

Beans


BRW60372 by Ben Wilcox, on Flickr

The beautiful idiot at rest.



00000011 by Ben Wilcox, on Flickr

The beautiful idiot is skeptical of my lovely new film slr with direct flash and total inability to focus on anything but his boop target nose

Sleepytime
Dec 21, 2004

two shots of happy, one shot of sad



Soiled Meat

No(g) scope 365


Tribute

DJExile
Jun 27, 2007



Sleepytime posted:

No(g) scope 365


Tribute

hahahaha i love this

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009



I have questions about ~*the story*~ in that picture.

ansel autisms
Aug 9, 2003



reichstag come back

Jupiter Jazz
Jan 13, 2007

I'M AN IDIOT NARCISSIST

Sleepytime posted:

No(g) scope 365


Tribute

8th-snype posted:

For this pizza I chose a subtle garlic sauce to indicate that posters here are nuanced and good for your cholesterol. Then we slathered that nuance on a medium thin crust, to represent the compromise that all art requires of us. Then we topped it off with crunchy chicken, for flavor. Then I put it on a toilet, the toilet represents posts. All posts.





I approve.

*dons monocle*

SoundMonkey
Apr 22, 2006

I just push buttons.



Sleepytime posted:

No(g) scope 365


Tribute

holy poo poo

8th-snype
Aug 28, 2005

My office is in the front room of a run-down 12 megapixel sensor but the rent suits me and the landlord doesn't ask many questions.

Dorkroom Short Fiction Champion 2012




Young Orc

I mean if I thought you wanted real pizza...I'd still have gone to Little Caesars.

President Beep
Apr 29, 2009





i have to have a car because otherwise i cant drive around the country solving mysteries while being doggedly pursued by federal marshals for a crime i did not commit (9/11)


8th-snype posted:

For this pizza I chose a subtle garlic sauce to indicate that posters here are nuanced and good for your cholesterol. Then we slathered that nuance on a medium thin crust, to represent the compromise that all art requires of us. Then we topped it off with crunchy chicken, for flavor. Then I put it on a toilet, the toilet represents posts. All posts.



This is 100% art.

SoundMonkey
Apr 22, 2006

I just push buttons.



Ric posted:

Hello cats. Keep this going until weekend so I can come in hard with the pizza.

if you don't deliver on this i'm giving you the most shameful yospos tag i can find

Ric
Nov 17, 2005

Apocalypse dude




When the UK entered lockdown, everyone became a baker overnight and bought all the flour from normal shops. I bought 25kg of doppio zero from a pizzeria supplier.

Ideally, dorkroom themed pizza would be half burnt and half raw but I made a concession to edibility. Artistic vision must come second to documenting life. The choice of toppings will please one person and likely no-one else, and the photographs require captions, so still pretty dorkroom.



Mine has six kinds of mushrooms* because the word on the street is that the judge is into fungi.

The sauce recipe called for a teaspoon of oregano. I really like oregano so used a handful. This level of seasoning needs to be balanced, so I also added a Moruga scorpion.



My partner's pizza has yellow pepper, olives, jalapenos, and carrots, presented with a subtle cat face arrangement.



Chickens had some too. Chickens don't like mushrooms, so theirs was margherita.

The light? I could not control it. But the story! *chef's kisses*.



* cremini, chestnut, honey fungus, porcini, slippery jack, black trumpet

DJExile
Jun 27, 2007



Ok give ric the best yospos tag instead

ansel autisms
Aug 9, 2003



i want to make a swedish meatball recipe but post-thanksgiving i have so much food to eat it'll have to wait post-contest. but fear not, soon enough you may see a softball sized hunk of meat

President Beep
Apr 29, 2009





i have to have a car because otherwise i cant drive around the country solving mysteries while being doggedly pursued by federal marshals for a crime i did not commit (9/11)


DJExile posted:

Ok give ric the best yospos tag instead

Itís the grandpa simpson one.

Megabound
Oct 20, 2012




Scoops, Kingpin of the household can be observed spending his days in leisure while his lackeys do his dirty work. He seems unconcerned that his life of crime may ever catch up to him.


Poppy, Scoops' second in command giving a stern look to the camera, while agreeing to be photographed we can see that some apprehension is still there.


Poppy, laying low, hiding from the law

SoundMonkey
Apr 22, 2006

I just push buttons.



i'm gonna let it roll for a couple days out of swedish meatball desperation but holy poo poo have the food posts been delivering so far

Robodog
Oct 22, 2004

...how does that work?


SoundMonkey posted:

i'm gonna let it roll for a couple days out of swedish meatball desperation but holy poo poo have the food posts been delivering so far

I got a killer turkey meatball recipe, that count or nah?

SoundMonkey
Apr 22, 2006

I just push buttons.



Robodog posted:

I got a killer turkey meatball recipe, that count or nah?

depends on ur sauce/gravy game

Pretty Cool Name
Jan 8, 2010

wat



2) Order or create what you consider a "dorkroom themed pizza" and post a picture of it here. You gotta convince me.

Instead of just a picture of a pizza which I consider banal and beneath a true documentary photojournalist I instead asked myself: What happens after the pizza?

In this series of images we can see how life really is in the year 2020, with pandemics and a bitter economic climate.

Image 1 out of 1: Pizza Box in Parking Lot - An Ode to the Landscape Photography Thread


This is a deeply personal work for me, because I had to eat the pizza and then later put the box on the ground in a parking lot. The empty pizza box is an allegory for the emptiness we all feel inside this year as we are socially distancing and self-isolating. It was made in an as ethical configuration as possible:

1. Auto white-balance
2. It has not been cropped
3. Auto ISO
4. Auto shutter speed
5. The dutch angle is a hallmark of authenticity
6. It is a jpg straight out of the camera

Sadly it was taken with a manual lens and as such remains ethically dubious.

Pretty Cool Name fucked around with this message at 10:00 on Dec 2, 2020

8th-snype
Aug 28, 2005

My office is in the front room of a run-down 12 megapixel sensor but the rent suits me and the landlord doesn't ask many questions.

Dorkroom Short Fiction Champion 2012




Young Orc

Pretty Cool Name posted:

2) Order or create what you consider a "dorkroom themed pizza" and post a picture of it here. You gotta convince me.

Instead of just a picture of a pizza which I consider banal and beneath a true documentary photojournalist I instead asked myself: What happens after the pizza?

In this series of images we can see how life really is in the year 2020, with pandemics and a bitter economic climate.

Image 1 out of 1: Pizza Box in Parking Lot - An Ode to the Landscape Photography Thread


This is a deeply personal work for me, because I had to eat the pizza and put then later put the box on the ground in a parking lot. The empty pizza box is an allegory for the emptiness we all feel inside this year as we are socially distancing and self-isolating. It was made in an as ethical configuration as possible:

1. Auto white-balance
2. It has not been cropped
3. Auto ISO
4. Auto shutter speed
5. The dutch angle is a hallmark of authenticity
6. It is a jpg straight out of the camera

Sadly it was taken with a manual lens and as such remains ethically dubious.

what metering mode did you use you absolute paragon of journalistic integrity?

Pretty Cool Name
Jan 8, 2010

wat



8th-snype posted:

what metering mode did you use you absolute paragon of journalistic integrity?

Alas it was not set to the default but instead highlight weighted metering.

theHUNGERian
Feb 23, 2006



Pretty Cool Name posted:

...
5. The dutch angle is a hallmark of authenticity
...

I'm more interested in dutch ovens than in dutch angles.

Crusty Nutsack
Apr 21, 2005

SUCK LASER, COPPERS

WHY BE A FATCAT WHEN YOU CAN BE A SMOKERAT?

COOL ZONE HERO, ASK ME ABOUT MY LIVESTREAMS




SoundMonkey posted:

i'm gonna let it roll for a couple days out of swedish meatball desperation but holy poo poo have the food posts been delivering so far

I'm not cooking them right now but here's my recipe

Balls:
1 small onion, minced
1 egg
1/2 c milk
1/4 c breadcrumbs
1 small to medium potato, nuked until soft, peeled and mashed
1 heaping t allspice
hefty pinch fresh grated nutmeg
bunch of salt and pepper to taste
1 lb lean ground beef
1/2 lb ground pork

Saute the onion in a little butter in a small skillet over medium until it's browning around the edges. While that's cooking, add the egg, milk, breadcrumbs, mashed potato and seasonings to a bowl and smash it around until it's smoothish. Add the meat and the cooked onions and combine it all, then shape into golf ball-sized meatballs.

Heat a big skillet over medium with some canola oil and butter in it. Fry the meatballs in batches until they're deep brown all around, maybe 10 minutes for each batch. Set all the balls aside in a bowl and return the pan to the heat.

Sauce:
3 T flour
1 15 oz can beef broth
1 c cream or half and half
4-5 dashes worchestershire
Couple dashes of Maggi if you have it

Whisk the flour into the fat still in the pan and cook for a minute. Whisk in the broth slowly so it doesn't get lumps. Stir in the cream, worcestershire and Maggi. Simmer for a couple minutes until it's thickened. Season with S+P. Add the meatballs into the sauce and simmer for a few more minutes to get everything hot and delicious.

I like to serve it over egg noodles with lignonberry jam, but mashed potatoes are good too. Sometimes I add a couple handfuls of frozen peas to the sauce at the end too just so I don't have to make anything on the side.

I don't have any fancy pics but here you go, I took this photo when I was making them once cause one looked like a weird little baby face with lego hair

Only registered members can see post attachments!

Jupiter Jazz
Jan 13, 2007

I'M AN IDIOT NARCISSIST

Pretty Cool Name's is nice and it's also super humiliating for me, which makes it even better. *chef kiss*

SoundMonkey
Apr 22, 2006

I just push buttons.



Jupiter Jazz posted:

super humiliating for me

i will count this as a point strongly in its favor

contest closes uh... whenever i wake up on friday. so late afternoon/early evening pacific time.

Health Services
Feb 27, 2009


A cat living a hard life on streets. Not sure if she's missing an eye or just sleepy.



The house-cat deep in reverie, surely plotting a devious trap.



An invitation to play.

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SoundMonkey
Apr 22, 2006

I just push buttons.



oh, right, this

AND THE WINNERS ARE:
- (not Crusty Nutsack because he can give himself the tag for free but i appreciate the recipe and creepy meatball)
- Pretty Cool Name for the absolute savagery
- Ric for obvious reasons
- 8th-snype for toilet aesthetic
- Sleepytime for additional toilet aesthetic and nog hogger homage
- loaf for most expertly lit cat pics
- Megabound for best-captioned cat pics

were these my original criteria for judging? don't know don't care

thank you all for the delicious content and fine cats. title changes will appears whenever an admin does the queue thing.

edit: jesus christ two of you had titles old enough to still have html in them

SoundMonkey fucked around with this message at 10:12 on Dec 5, 2020

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