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FizFashizzle
Mar 30, 2005









https://twitter.com/AdamSchefter/st...4461442052?s=20

grats cowboys fans maybe god did you a solid

edit* mod can you fix that typo please

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Barudak
May 7, 2007



Jerry Jones finally shuffling off this mortal coil???

FizFashizzle
Mar 30, 2005









Imagine being the stripper whos rear end jerry took his final rail off of.

Magicpants
Sep 15, 2011



FizFashizzle posted:

Imagine being the stripper whos rear end jerry took his final rail off of.

if I was that stripper, I'd have that rear end framed and on the mantle with a plaque

FizFashizzle
Mar 30, 2005









uh i think jerry might be dead or incapacitated

https://twitter.com/DavidMooreDMN/s...4130338816?s=20

Codependent Poster
Oct 20, 2003




People are saying Jerry was on the radio not long ago.

Maybe Mike had a heart attack.

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013


RIP The Entire Dallas Cowboys Franchise.

"Well, C'ya"

Shinjobi
Jul 10, 2008






Gravy Boat 2k

God dammit loving die jerry

fartknocker
Oct 28, 2012

Damn it, this always happens. I think I'm gonna score, and then I never score. It's not fair.




Wedge Regret

Codependent Poster posted:

People are saying Jerry was on the radio not long ago.

Maybe Mike had a heart attack.

Mike got his usual massage and the happy ending went too far.

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013


https://twitter.com/DavidMooreDMN/s...262015260733441

huh...

I'm thinking fat mike may have gone to the big buffet in the sky

SKULL.GIF
Jan 20, 2017




The Final Watermelon

FizFashizzle
Mar 30, 2005









Big Beef City posted:

https://twitter.com/DavidMooreDMN/s...262015260733441

huh...

I'm thinking fat mike may have gone to the big buffet in the sky

https://twitter.com/xsstringer/stat...1155743747?s=20

lmao a loving measles outbreak would be hilarious but that's not what this is

Shinjobi
Jul 10, 2008






Gravy Boat 2k

This is going to suck so goddamn hard. Anyone other than Jerry and I'll feel awful. To have a medical emergency in covid era is just miserable poo poo.

Magicpants
Sep 15, 2011



maybe the cowboys players have broke McCarthy's heart and now it can't be mended

Magicpants
Sep 15, 2011



maybe one of the staff unleashed the virus from 12 Monkeys

fartknocker
Oct 28, 2012

Damn it, this always happens. I think I'm gonna score, and then I never score. It's not fair.




Wedge Regret

gently caress the Cowboys.

Magicpants
Sep 15, 2011



maybe its like that episode of Louie where his sister thinks shes about to give birth but it just ends up being a big fart

chamois
Oct 24, 2010


andey got his hand stuck in a gumball machine

Shinjobi
Jul 10, 2008






Gravy Boat 2k

Maybe a bee bit Andy's bottom and now his bottom's big

FizFashizzle
Mar 30, 2005









What is The Star? Is that their facility or something?

https://twitter.com/DavidMooreDMN/s...2808282112?s=20

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001




FizFashizzle posted:

What is The Star? Is that their facility or something?


Yeah, it's this place. Headquarters + mall

https://thestardistrict.com/visit/directory/

Shinjobi
Jul 10, 2008






Gravy Boat 2k

Local PD report mentions that a coach was transported by EMS.

So yeah, gonna be a lovely day.

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013


jeez, look I'll joke and poo poo all over the 'boys and everything all day everyday but condolences for whatever happened. Sucks

Magicpants
Sep 15, 2011



Big Beef City posted:

jeez, look I'll joke and poo poo all over the 'boys and everything all day everyday but condolences for whatever happened. Sucks

not me, I'll continue to shitpost and then when its revealed that an assistant coach had a stroke I'll feel bad for a second and then keep making terrible jokes

FizFashizzle
Mar 30, 2005









Magicpants posted:

not me, I'll continue to shitpost and then when its revealed that an assistant coach had a stroke I'll feel bad for a second and then keep making terrible jokes

https://twitter.com/JosinaAnderson/...8761569280?s=20

no idea how connected this person is

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013


OH GOOD WELL I'LL CONTINUE TO LAUGH AS THIS PERSON DIES NO PROB LMAO

Ehud
Sep 19, 2003

"When you put your hand into a bunch of goo that a moment before was your quarterback's face, you'll know what to do."




Josina Anderson is very good when it comes to reliability

MarquisDeCarabas
Jun 16, 2012


It's their S&C coach, Markus Paul, according to this story:

https://www.si.com/nfl/cowboys/news...rious-condition

Nissin Cup Nudist
Sep 3, 2011

Sleep with one eye open

We're off to Gritty Gritty land






Markus Pual had a heart attack and was jnitally reported as dead. But his immediately family says Paul is still alive

wandler20
Nov 13, 2002



https://twitter.com/TomPelissero/st...6805440512?s=20

HappyHippo
Nov 19, 2003
Do you have an Air Miles Card?

this was posted in the last thread before it was closed and I feel it would be a shame if it were to go unread

a neat cape
Feb 22, 2007

Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!



https://twitter.com/AustinEkeler/st...6868495360?s=19

DariusLikewise
Oct 4, 2008

You wore that on Halloween?


HappyHippo posted:

this was posted in the last thread before it was closed and I feel it would be a shame if it were to go unread

Didn't Brady have this problem last year too? His deep ball just fell off a cliff close to playoffs?

wandler20
Nov 13, 2002



DariusLikewise posted:

Didn't Brady have this problem last year too? His deep ball just fell off a cliff close to playoffs?

https://twitter.com/gregauman/statu...1824706562?s=20

Impossibly Perfect Sphere
Nov 6, 2002


Der's a tric to it.


Is it a bad sign if your S&C coach is literally dying?

Mega64
May 23, 2008





Not if you're the Chargers.

FizFashizzle
Mar 30, 2005










quote:

Tom Brady is 0-for-19 on pass attempts of 20-plus yards over the past month.

That's a 0.0 quarterback rating if you're counting at home. It's an area where the stats match the eye test, as Brady has been throwing one wounded dove after another whenever he ventures beyond the second level of the defense. Coach Bruce Arians has said Brady might be confused by the coverages, which, yikes. Despite decent overall statistics, Brady is beginning to look like a weak link on an otherwise dominant roster. Brady has made like Lazarus more than once in his career. He needs to now more than ever. The Chiefs are on deck for Week 12.

If there's any coach with balls big enough to throw Brady under the bus like that, it'd be Arians.

This is making those old allegations of Brady having someone in his headset telling him where to throw the ball seem plausible.

Impossibly Perfect Sphere
Nov 6, 2002


Der's a tric to it.


The brain gets old too.

Mr. Nice!
Oct 13, 2005



Impossibly Perfect Sphere posted:

Is it a bad sign if your S&C coach is literally dying?

Your S&C coach is probably the most juiced person involved, so, no, it isn't really too big of a shock to hear they have a heart attack. I'm pretty sure we'll repeat this in a few years for Deuce Gruden, for example.

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wandler20
Nov 13, 2002



FizFashizzle posted:


This is making those old allegations of Brady having someone in his headset telling him where to throw the ball seem plausible.

lol this is just insane. A QB has like 3 seconds to make a decision, there isn't enough time for this to work in any way.

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