Going out to the woods to find a bear - The Something Awful Forums

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SweetWillyRollbar: Would an advertising executive
Understand where the homeless live?
Would he know about the bubbles in his glass?
Would the bubbles in his glass
Understand what the man's golf cart is?
Do they know you can die frozen underneath an overpass?

So that I can challenge them to an eating contest! I think I can take 'em! I've seen every episode Man vs. Food and tons of eating contests online and on TV. I live, breath, and of course eat this stuff! What's a bear got on me? Bears don't have cable TV, much internet connections to stream eating contest content on. I'm also bringin' my bro/trainer Big Jefe with me to cheer me on/keep me focused. Also the rest of my posse! This bear is goin' DOWN!

# ? Nov 25, 2020 15:54

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# ? Jan 16, 2021 09:58

Heather Papps: hello internet friend

just make sure the challenge isn't berries, honey or fish and you should be fine

https://giant.gfycat.com/GloomyThre...canwilddog.webm
a 2020 vanisher original, paired with my khanstant lord - a byob classic!

# ? Nov 25, 2020 16:58

SweetWillyRollbar: Would an advertising executive
Understand where the homeless live?
Would he know about the bubbles in his glass?
Would the bubbles in his glass
Understand what the man's golf cart is?
Do they know you can die frozen underneath an overpass?

"No you idiot bear! I can't eat myself!" I gasp as a bear takes a large bite out of my midsection

# ? Nov 25, 2020 17:00

Heather Papps: hello internet friend

this production may be a disaster but when herzog gets his hands on these tapes we'll be in the money

https://giant.gfycat.com/GloomyThre...canwilddog.webm
a 2020 vanisher original, paired with my khanstant lord - a byob classic!

# ? Nov 25, 2020 17:02

SweetWillyRollbar: Would an advertising executive
Understand where the homeless live?
Would he know about the bubbles in his glass?
Would the bubbles in his glass
Understand what the man's golf cart is?
Do they know you can die frozen underneath an overpass?

Heather Papps posted:

this production may be a disaster but when herzog gets his hands on these tapes we'll be in the money

# ? Nov 25, 2020 17:12

Kief Richards: PHANTOM QUEEN

Going out into the woods wearing a fake beard, a toque and a flannel and drinking a Molson, talking as loud as I can about cars and splitting wood, trying to attract bears who might be interested.

# ? Nov 25, 2020 17:46

Bright Bart: False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped.

I've liked bears for as long as I can remember. They are little rapscallions but also living tanks.

# ? Nov 25, 2020 18:22

pecan

me out in the woods yelling out in all directions: IF ONLY I KNEW WHO COULD PREVENT FOREST FIRES

# ? Nov 25, 2020 19:53

Cobalt-60: Over time, random factors add up. What is chaos in the moment becomes systemic over time and space. As data accumulates, a pattern emerges.

Bring a picnic basket.

# ? Nov 25, 2020 20:03

Ass-penny

Bring cocaine. I heard bears love cocaine. It's also an appetite suppressant.

Thank you Khanstant for the excellent gobbo
(┛◉Д◉)┛彡┻━┻ #YesNutNovember - add this to your sig if you love and support BYOB's own nut

# ? Nov 25, 2020 20:13

The Voice of Labor

clever bear exploits your food allergies and lactose intolerance to handily win the contest.

# ? Nov 26, 2020 00:26

Macnult

i have a jar of honey on hand and i am not afraid to make friends

# ? Nov 26, 2020 00:51

Finger Prince: "I think he's watching us..."

"No, it's just the Mountain Peeks."
(Source)

rear end-penny posted:

Bring cocaine. I heard bears love cocaine. It's also an appetite suppressant.

https://www.roadsideamerica.com/story/50220

# ? Nov 26, 2020 03:49

FluffieDuckie

pecan posted:

me out in the woods yelling out in all directions: IF ONLY I KNEW WHO COULD PREVENT FOREST FIRES

# ? Nov 26, 2020 04:29

Cobalt-60: Over time, random factors add up. What is chaos in the moment becomes systemic over time and space. As data accumulates, a pattern emerges.

Play this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I-U8E-NiPlw

# ? Nov 26, 2020 04:32